from-dankest-waters

[from-dankest-waters]

Anah’r: Before I join, what are everyone’s abilities?

Waters: I can shoot lightning.

Lanleyan: I can freeze the air.

R’madi: Kahjiit can blend in with the shadows.

Edward: I can make good life choices.

Anah’r: Uh, is that really a power?

Krag: No trust me, he’s the most important member of our team.

[from-dankest-waters]

Firiniel: I hate these sexist double standards! Like if a man sleeps with a bunch of women, he's "a stud" or "a champ."

Firiniel: But if I do it, suddenly I'm "a total lesbian" and "a flaming homosexual."

[from-dankest-waters]

Ahlzqi: Hey, do you want to talk to God?

Magnus: God is dead. God remains dead, and we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent?

Ahlzqi: By the moons, this one was just trying to sell you skooma, and you made it weird!

[from-dankest-waters]

Firiniel: I've invited you to this island to play the deadliest game.

Waters, nodding: Knife Monopoly.

Firiniel: ... I was going to hunt you for sport, but now I'm really curious about what "Knife Monopoly" is.

[from-dankest-waters]

Diana: Hey I need a human skull.

Magnus: Sure there should be a spare one in my room.

Diana: Why do you have a spare skull just sitting in your room?

Magnus: Why do you need one?

Diana: ...

Diana: Touché.

[from-dankest-waters]

Jandowryn: Okay, that does it! You're all grounded! Waters, no looting for you! R'madi, no catnaps for you! Magnus— by the divines, is there even anything you love?

Magnus: Revenge.

Jandowryn: All right, then no vengeance for you!

Magnus: I was going to say "I'll get you for this," but I guess that's off the table.

[from-dankest-waters]

Waters: Do you ever talk about your feelings?

Magnus: No.

R'madi: R'madi does.

Waters: I know, R'madi.

R'madi: R'madi is sad.

Waters: I know, R'madi.

[from-dankest-waters]

Diana: Look, I know we don't always see eye-to-eye on things —

Hela: Yeah, because you're so short.

[from-dankest-waters]

Hela: I wish I knew how to make men nervous.

Waters: Try holding a knife to their throat. That usually works for me.

R'madi: As a man, R'madi can confirm that does make him nervous.

[from-dankest-waters]

Jandowryn: How can we make it past the guards?

Anah'r: I have a plan.

Jandowryn: It can't involve murder.

Anah'r: I no longer have a plan.

[from-dankest-waters]

Harkon: It's too late, you fools! Nothing can stop me now!

Serana: That's not true! Not with the power of —

Diana: Friendship!

Waters: Harmony!

Magnus: Incredible Violence

R'madi: And love!

[from-dankest-waters]

Waters: I hate being touched. The last time I maintained physical contact was when I strangled a man to death with my bare hands. I am the cold incarnation of the void.

R'madi, gently stroking her horns: You're literally resting your head in my lap right now.

Waters: This means nothing. Fear me.