fruitjellybug

[fruitjellybug]

Rain Rage

I hate the way rage sounds on a rainy day.

Why can’t you have peace of mind, just once,

on a day that makes the grass look like emeralds

every drip-drop hugging my heart,

telling me it will be okay,

that tomorrow is a new day.

And there you are,

with your hat,

scurrying to find what’s still unmet

when that raindrop hits your nose.

Never content,

seeking shelter from something you should have already met.

While I drop to my knees,

let the droplets breathe for me

a mermaid in her seaweed bed,

ready to be reset.

[fruitjellybug]

Empathy, Pain

Have you ever felt the suffocating pain of empathy, empathy for a person who only thinks of their own ruins. They take so much room that your feelings are doomed. You feel as if you can not exist in their space, your empathy overwhelms and you don't feel safe.

They don't notice you, but only when your benefiting them-draining your kiss. That sweet second of attention feels like true bliss. When all is wrong it's only how you can help them, they can't comprehend the compassion that maybe your not well. Maybe it's not all about them. Their delusions manipulating you to make you feel guilt of your own sorrows, when someone who loves you would care and tend to your hearts desires.

Knowing their selfishness will never dissipate and they will never understand the pain of empathy and how it relates. Shoving you into their pain.

You can only pray that karma is their fate, maybe one day everything will be ok.

[fruitjellybug]

A lover girl forever in my heart, frozen cold to save myself from the heartbreak of loving you

[fruitjellybug]

tell me you don’t ever want to lose me ʚ♡ɞ

2:53am

[fruitjellybug]

I have forgotten what love feels like, what it’s like to be cared about and comforted. I have forgotten the smell of sweet lilacs sitting next to my bed.

[fruitjellybug]

You were never there when I needed you the most

[fruitjellybug]

Romance:

A word that means so much to my delicate heart, my heart beats for the endless taste of love. Sweet like brown sugar melting on my tongue, dissolving with every echoing whisper in my ear, hearing “i love you” till dawn.

Forever ingrained on my heart ⊹₊ ✰ ⋆

-S

[fruitjellybug]

Forever & Always Mine.

My love knows no tomorrow, my whole heart placed in your rough, sandpaper hands. Vulnerable to be ripped apart at any given moment, a blood bath; a delicious delight. There’s no other way to love, a thousand arrows through my heart could never tear us apart. I promise I will find you in every lifetime. Hearing the wind chimes ringing in my ears, reminding me of every kiss even out of spite. The imprint of your hands squeezing my thighs, under the table, silencing the voices near by. Our heartbeat is very much alive.

[Fragaria]

-S

[fruitjellybug]

Behind her big blue eyes...

A little girl looking at her snow globe she just got as a surprise.

Watching the snow fall, shaken up, tears running down her rosie cheeks from side to side. Sadness never looked so magical in the moonlight. A fairy trapped inside the endless windows showcasing her soul. Flowers in hand holding on for life, in hopes to protect her delicate heart that sings at night.

The little girl never related so much in her life.

-S

[fruitjellybug]

Rain Showers

Perhaps,

if you knew the coordinates to my body;

the curves,

the scars,

the way my heart skips a beat

after every rain shower,

you could always find your way back home,

no matter where your mind goes

in times of pain

when your blinded by rage,

you would always have the map

that takes you home…

the key to my racing heart.

[Anagallis Arvensis]

-S

[fruitjellybug]

Unspoken Heartbreak

Falling out of love- the fire you thought would burn for eternity, for infinite lifetimes. A pull so strong, no matter the distance, you could never run. But this day it faded away to an abyss of hopelessness. A past time that passes by like a cloud in front of my eyes. My heart doesn’t know this feeling, the absence of love. I feel cold and empty without love burning me to the ground inside out. This is the heartbreak no one talks about <\3

-S

[fruitjellybug]

Senses of My Love

I crave the touch of the man I love. Fogging up the car windows in the winter. I reach up and draw a heart, feeling my fingers drag against the ice cold glass. Shocking me from my warmth.

I crave the sound of the man I love. Opening up my music box, the one I have had since I was 6. Hearing the melody of love, a melody I wished to feel every day as I grew up. Music flowing through my ears, a symphony of the heart.

I crave the sight of the man I love. My toes twirling in the sand at the beach as my popsicle melts. Looking next to me and seeing his backpack touch my toes, it feels rough. I wait to see him jump out of the water and return to his love.

I crave the taste of the man I love. The excitement of my Shirley Temple reaching the table. Splashing my straw in, setting the cherry to the side and sucking it down. Hearing the ice cubes rattle. Then it’s time for my favorite part. Feeling the cherry stem tie my tongue.

I crave the scent of the man I love. Coming out of the forest on a day where the fog sits on the ground. Rolling in the mud and getting lost. The sun setting becoming strawberry blonde. The delicious smell of love.

-S

[fruitjellybug]

Pinched Cheeks

Vulnerable in the arms of my most loved,

I am asking to be crushed.

Delusions and feelings of home

in my heart,

keeping me away from the reality

that was there from the start.

Reality-

a place that sent me

falling from the clouds.

Every time I see a way out,

I can’t escape

the door shuts and my time runs out.

I scratch and scream but you keep me locked up.

I forget the pain as i’m held prisoner long enough.

Locked up and chained starts to feel like enough.

Loving you feels like a cage around my heart.

-S

[fruitjellybug]

Soul Eater

How do you look

in a woman’s eyes,

dripping with tears

eye to eye?

Feeling nothing,

not even remorse

for the pain you have caused,

fueled by lies.

Do you enjoy this sight?

The beauty of the moon at night.

Is it powerful to see this sight?

Feeling strong in your heart,

knowing you can manipulate

what’s in front of you.

A delight.

Wrapping you hands around my neck

finding beauty in the absence of life.

-S

[fruitjellybug]

A Desired Thought…

The crave of lust in my heart,

mistaking this for true love.

Little did I know,

this affection was the weakness

of a disillusioned girl,

planted deep in her soul.

I relearned all that I knew,

the day I met you.

You changed my map,

my reference,

my point of view,

to what I know now

as being in true love

with you.

The constellations I use,

to find my way back home-

me & you.

-S

[fruitjellybug]

Passion Fruit

Do you ever wake up so full of hate? You let yourself love to hard, shattering your heart over & over in a fit of rage. Kissing the sun a million times goodbye. Feeling that pain as it’s the first time every day. Going crazy because you actually feel like they can change. Living this feeling over and over again, as night time awaits. Waiting to take you into its arms, kissing you till you go insane.

Do you ever wake up so full of love? Your heart bursting with joy, it never felt so full. Not even the sweetest honey dripping from your tongue, on a warm summer day can compare to this love. Knowing this magnetic pull will never fade. Pure love. Pulsing through your body, tingling, seeing only heaven above. Blinded by the light, knowing you’re claimed by your beloved. This is love.

-S

[fruitjellybug]

To My Love:

I want to be claimed,

i’m the one and only

who can make you feel less pain.

Taking away your sorrows,

because I know there will be a day

where it all drifts away.

I will only give my heart to the one

I know will never stain

my white sheets with my blood,

massacring me,

slaughtering me

in your pain.

To the one who

will protect my heart no matter the day,

who will lay me down in a ocean,

but never fade away.

I sit and wonder

with teary eyes

lying in my bed at night,

if true love exists in real life.

If I will be the lucky one

to feel like the only light,

the only breath to the one

to call me “forever and always

mine”

-S