garyfischy

[garyfischy]

privating all of my overly personal/vent posts and keeping this up as an archive of art/music shit i liked back then. I will return hopefully

[garyfischy]

[garyfischy]

It’s that time of year, again!

[garyfischy]

content note: discussion of suicide.

this next monday will be the six year anniversary of losing one of my friends to suicide.

when he died, my high school barely mentioned his death, even though for other students who died by things like car crashes or illness, there were so many public expressions of grief. they believed that having any memorials for a student who died by suicide would encourage other people to die the same way. in their rush to erase the circumstances of his death, they erased the memory of his life.

there are so many things i am angry at that high school about in terms of how they treated mental health (mandatory reporting and collaborating with cops, their refusal to recognize the ways in which that system led to peer-to-peer crisis support, their refusal to recognize the ways that trying to keep each other alive through trial and error was scary and exhausting, carceral disciplinary policies, etc etc etc). but i think one of the things i am still angriest about is the way they enforced shame around his death. it felt like they were retroactively blaming him for the constellation of circumstances that made suicide an option in his life. it felt like they were blaming those of us who missed him and cared about him and wanted to grieve him. it made those of us still there who were actively suicidal feel even more scared about the reaction if we did reach out for help from one of those mythical safe adults.

as an adult now involved in psych abolition/mad liberation work, it makes me so fucking mad to see the ways in which he was discarded by people in authority positions. and the older i get, the more options i have found in my life for making sense of the world and finding healing and community and support which were never available to him because he died when he was 16 and the only things offered to him were a carceral psychiatric system that blamed him for his own fucking death. it feels so incredibly unfair.

i miss him and i think i always will; i can't remember his laugh or the sound of his voice or his favorite color any more and that aches. this grief is so heavy and it feels harder in a new way each year, when i become older than he will ever be. sometimes meeting new comrades or seeing new anticarceral suicide support models hurts because i wish so fucking bad that we had that back then. i remember how close we came to losing even more people that year and i know it is simple fucking luck that i'm still here when he's not.

i remember another letter (never sent) that i wrote to a friend while they were in an ICU bed after a suicide attempt when i didn't know if they would live or not. i have spent so much time in the past 10 years begging for anything to keep me and my friends alive, but even in that letter i knew that there is so much fucking violence that is hidden beneath psychiatric logics of cure and safety that promise a "solution" to suicide. I knew that institutionalization, coercion, and shame would not have helped build a life more liveable for him or **** or any of the people i've loved and lost since.

there needs to be more fucking options for care and support that aren't so incredibly cruel to suicidal people. i know so many people doing incredible work in alternatives, peer respite, a million different frameworks for healing and liberation. but it makes me so mad every day i have to live in a world where there are still people restrained, locked up in psych wards, having all autonomy and personhood taken away from them. knowing there are dozens of people every day getting blamed for their deaths the same way he was blamed for his.

i miss him. i cared so fucking much for him. and he died by suicide, and all of those things are true. he has been dead for 6 years and he lived before that and the people who loved him want to remember all of him; our celebrations of his life should not require hiding the way that he died.

Image description: [1000 origami cranes in all different colors and patterns that are tied together in strings of 25]

(these were the 1000 cranes we made to give to his parents, in memorial and recognition of how much he meant to us.)

[garyfischy]

[garyfischy]

The twelve years of N@zi dictatorship took a heavy toll on the cultural landscape of Germany: artists, actors, writers and journalists were forced into exile, were murdered in the concentration camps or retreated to an inward emigration. Bearing this in mind it is all the more astonishing that with the end of the war art and culture flourished almost instantaneously. In the mid-2010s the Städel Museum under the aegis of Franziska Leuthäußer set out to record an oral history of what they termed „the first German art scene“: by interviewing key artists, art historians, gallerists and other protagonists of the young cultural scene the initiators sought to paint a lively picture of the buzzing postwar West-Germany. The interviewees range from A like Götz Adriani to Z like Rudolf Zwirner but also include big names like Hans Haacke, Gerhard Richter, Anselm Kiefer and Kasper König. The result is a highly entertaining read that not only captivates by means of the sometimes hilarious quotes and statements but also through the different perspectives gained on protagonists, exhibitions and discourses. It is fascinating to see how different people perceive and judge events very differently and how nowadays sacrosanct artistic positions (e.g. Richter, Baselitz, Polke etc.) are being grounded and contextualized.

What has rightly been criticized about the 2,000 pages double volume is the fact that it largely excludes the former GDR: with Arno Rink and Jürgen Schweinebraden only two and very different protagonists have been interviewed and of course cannot provide an in-depth account of how art and culture returned to life in the „other Germany“. But despite this obvious flaw the project was a meritorious undertaking that draws a subjective but through the multitude of perspectives ultimately very comprehensive picture of the postwar art scene in West-Germany. A highly recommended read!

[garyfischy]

More boxes found while tidying.

My high school in the late '90s had a computer lab and, for some reason, Sim City 2000 was installed on every computer.

I don't remember what we were meant to be learning in the lab, I do remember organising lunchtime access so I could keep building my city.

Never played Sim Earth or Ant, maybe one day. I love how much you got in these boxes - two sizes of floppies! A pair of textbooks! Truly a golden age of gaming.

[garyfischy]

[garyfischy]

🔴 can you help me 🇵🇸🍉

Please donate to save my life and my family 🍉🇵🇸

Asking for help is not easy, I ask for a small donation of only 20€ from each person, 20€ will save my family from death in Gaza 💔 Donate through the link in bio (gofundme) Together, we can achieve our goal within a day and provide crucial support to me and my family in Gaza. Your contribution means everything to us and in these difficult times your kindness is our greatest hope. We are very grateful for any assistance you can provide and thank you for your kindness and generosity in our time of need

more information @ana-bananya ⬆️⬆️⬆️🍉🇵🇸

The campaign has been verified @90-ghost

[garyfischy]

[garyfischy]

guy i drew at the old spaghetti factory while eating garlic mizithra with broccoli and a shirley temple

[garyfischy]

Sumire Kudo - Female, 2022 - Oil on canvas

[garyfischy]

short comic

[garyfischy]

harley poe miku

[garyfischy]

Please have heart and do not skip!

Donations urgently needed.

Nader and his family are nearly reaching half of their goal, and we need as much help as possible!

This fundraiser is vetted by @gazavetters, number four on the spreadsheet here

They're not asking for much, just €10 should suffice!

By donating, you are not only helping Nader, but you are saving him and his family.

We have managed to raise €12000 since the beginning of our campaign, and as with any other Palestinian who are fighting for their lives against the oppressors, I do not wish for Nader and his family to succumb to the murderous regime. Please, together we can raise enough so that they can afford for basic necessities as well as for them to be able to escape through the border crossing, once it opens.

We have already dealt with Zionists who attempted to compromise the campaign due to their own vendetta against the Ghazzans, and thanks to you all, we've successfully fough back and won, proving the veracity of this campaign. Please, do not back down. We need everything we can muster to help Nader and his family.

It's only gonna get harder now that UNRWA has been banned in the Settler state. Let's fight this battle together!

Tag list:

@90-ghost @heritageposts @gazavetters @neechees @butchniqabi @fluoresensitive @khanger @autisticmudkip @beserkerjewel @furiousfinnstan @xinakwans @batekush @appsa @nerdyqueerr @butchsunsetshimmer @biconicfinn @stopmotionguy @willgrahamscock @strangeauthor @bryoria @shesnake @legallybrunettedotcom @lautakwah @sovietunion @evillesbianvillain @antibioware @akajustmerry @dizzymoods @ree-duh @neptunerings @explosionshark @dlxxv-vetted-donations @vague-humanoid @buttercuparry @sayruq @malcriada @sar-soor @northgazaupdates2 @feluka @dirhwangdaseul @jdon @ibtisams @sawasawako @memingursa @schoolhater @toesuckingoctober @waskuyecaozu @lapithae @ryo-yamada @opencommunion @el-shab-hussein @feluka @paper-mario-wiki

[garyfischy]

Ryu Vs Twelve ‘Street Fighter III: Third Strike’ SEGA Dreamcast

[garyfischy]

OFFTOBER DAY 1. Warm up

Prompt by @mothscotch