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gingergremlin · 8 years ago

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Jily💜💜💜

I Know You

“Evans.” Lily would know that voice anywhere.

It was the voice that called the same word every day for the past 6 years. It was the voice that invaded not only her privacy, but also her dreams. It was the voice that she had slowly began to love. Lily loved the way he sounded when he said her name, how his low voice became slightly higher as he called for her. She felt like she could have listened to him talk for hours; she found herself daydreaming where she would lay her head on James’ chest, listening to his soft words as she lulled into sleep.

“Evans.” She started as James’ caught her arm and she turned to look at him.

“What?” She asked roughly, narrowing her eyes at him. Even though she knew she loved certain aspects about him, there were others that she felt nothing but anger towards, and it messed with her mind. Like the way he felt he could just summon her whenever he wanted and she would listen. Like the way he grinned at her crookedly, like he had just made some dirty joke, which he usually had. Like the way he would swagger towards her, people parting like the red sea for him, like he was God’s gift to humanity.

“Go out with me?” His eyes were so incredibly deep and silky; they reminded Lily of smooth milk chocolate, and when he looked at her the way he did made her legs feel like jelly.

But Lily had become accustomed to James’ looks, knowing they weren’t really real, that it was all part of the James Potter bravado. She rolled her eyes at him and turned away, but he jogged to catch up with her and blocked her way into her charms class.

“Move out my way, Potter.” She sighed, really not in the mood for dealing with him today.

“I heard you broke up with that ravenclaw. What was his name again? Something stupid like Rufus.”

“His name was Roy.” She glowered at him, “And how’s that any of your business?”

“So why won’t you go out with me?” He whined childishly. She thought about punching him, but he was a whole head taller than her and it would require an amount of effort she just didn’t have in her.

“Get out my way, Potter.” They were drawing attention now and she was getting really fed up.

“Only if you answer.”

“Fine!” She suddenly shouted, losing whatever refrained her from speaking, “Because you’re rude. Because you’re arrogant. Because you bully my friends. Because there is not one single part of your personality which I would even slightly find attractive! Because I hate you James Potter!” She was breathing heavily and every eye in the corridor was on her.

James stared at Lily wide eyed. He had never seen her this annoyed before, or heard her scream like that. Her huge emerald eyes that usually sparkled like the stars in the sky were full of rage, narrowed and watery. Her cheeks had burned as she shouted, matching her wavy red hair, her face contorted with anger.

“Now move out of my way.” She growled and he stepped aside, letting her shove past him into the class.

James decided class wasn’t important that day and headed down to the Black Lake on his own. As he reached the tree he usually sat beneath with Padfoot, Mooney and Wormtail, he slung his bag off his shoulder and shrugged off his cloak before sitting down, his head resting on the trunk of the tree. He watched as the September breeze tangled the branches that hung low over the lake, thinking of his conversation with Lily. She hated him. There was no way to soften the blow; she had outright told him she hated him, while declaring it to half their year at the same time. He ran his hand through his hair as he sighed. Lily Evans confused him. Sure she had never showed that she actually liked him, but they were something. He talked to her more than almost anyone, with the exceptions of the rest of the Marauders. Sure, their conversations were full of sarcastic comments and insults, but that was all part of the great James and Lily love story. At least, that’s what James had thought. He thought if he was persistent enough, she’d eventually agree to go out with him and realize they were meant to be. He had thought wrong.

He spotted a pebble on the edge of the lake and grabbed it, skimming it across the surface in frustration.

Lily could barely concentrate on her charms work that day, or any of her other classes for that matter. As she walked into the Great Hall for dinner, she couldn’t help but look out for James. Her eyes roamed the gryffindor table until she spotted the Marauders but they were missing a quarter - the dark, messy haired, glasses-wearing quarter. She twisted her hands as she sat down beside Alice, her best friend. “I heard about your little shouting match this morning.” Alice commented, ladling peas onto her plate to accompany her beef pie.

Lily groaned, “Go on. Say it.”

“You’re an idiot.”

Lily let her head fall against the table, not caring that she was probably getting stares for face planting onto the table.

“Lily, it’s not too late to fix it.”

“I don’t want to fix it. He deserved it. He needs to know.”

“Needs to know what?” Alice frowned as Lily raised her head, “That you would never go out with him? Because you and I both know that’s a big fat lie.”

“Alice.” She whispered, not wanting anyone to hear around them, “I’m scared.”

“I’m the wrong person you should be telling.” Alice gave her a knowing look and Lily sighed again, before gathering herself up from the bench.

She stomped towards the Marauders, refusing to let in any doubts that would stop her from getting any closer to them. She tapped Black on the shoulder and he turned around to grin.

“Finally realized who the best looking Marauder was?” Sirius asked cockily. Just like James.

“Could you tell me where James is?” She asked, ignoring Sirius.

“Calling him James now, eh?” Sirius said before Remus kicked him under the table.

“He’s by the lake.” And she barely thanked Remus before she was running.

She raced out of the Great Hall, and out of the castle to the grounds, ignoring the cold air that rushed to whip her cheeks and redden her nose. She needed to speak to him; she couldn’t wait another second. The words she needed to say filled her mind and clouded every other thought. She reached the edge of the lake and spotted him a little further along, his head resting against the trunk of an oak that bowed over the water. She set off again, her feet hurting as they pounded the uneven ground, stumbling and twisting her ankles. It wasn’t a surprise that his head pricked up at her arrival.

“Lily?” He asked and before she knew it he was in front of her.

“Have you been out here all day?” She frowned, panting, at him in just his shirt and trousers; she was freezing with her layers of jumpers and cloak.

James, still surprised, stared blankly at her, “What are you doing here Evans?”

“Right. I was getting off topic. Um… Can we sit down?” One corner of his mouth curled up in an effort to smile as she tried to grasp her breath and they sat down. She regained her breath then went to speak, then changed her mind, “Actually can we stand, this is gonna be a lot more awkward if we are sitting.”

They stood back up and he was so much closer than he had been before, but Lily couldn’t force herself to move away.

“I didn’t mean what I said earlier.” She started, then shook her head, “No, I did mean what I said.” She glanced at him to gauge a reaction, but his face was unreadable.

“You are everything I said you were. You are arrogant. You are rude. You do bully my friends. But I lied. As much as I hate these things about you, I don’t hate YOU.” He frowned.

“Lily, what are you trying to say?”

“That I am sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you. Not really.”

He was the one that stepped back then, and ran a hand through his hair, then in one quick movement, he had closed all the space between them and his lips were on hers. His lips were so cold, but so soft. His hands slipped up her back and she gave into him. She felt her fingers wrap around the collar of his shirt, and then, realizing what she was doing, shoved him off her.

James couldn’t help himself. As she stood there, stuttering apologies out, he couldn’t think of anything apart from how cute she was. Her eyes so frightened of hurting him, her nose red and her little hands twisting with nerves. He made her nervous. When he kissed her, he expected her to shove him off immediately, maybe even slap him. What he hadn’t anticipated was for her to kiss him back. Her lips were so warm beneath his, her mouth hot and warming him from the inside. He gathered her against him, and her hands pulled his collar, pulling him even closer. She smelt of lavender and roses, her hair so soft as he threaded his fingers through it. So suddenly, she withdrew from him, finally pushing him off, but he was in a much better mood than he had been all day.

“What was that?” Lily demanded, her cheeks flushed and her hand up by her mouth, as if she couldn’t believe what she had just done.

“You kissed me.” He said, in disbelief himself.

She rolled her eyes as they lapsed into normality, but something had changed now; he knew she felt something for him, “As if Potter.”

“No. You feel something for me.”

“I..I don’t know what you’re-” He cut her off.

“Lily, don’t try and lie about this. I know you.”

She scoffed then, “You don’t know a thing about me, James Potter.”

He turned serious, “Really? Because I know you are clever. I know you’re kind. I know you’d do anything for your friends. I know you are incredibly hot headed, just like me. I know you pretend not to like me. I know you like me deep down. I know how to make you angry. I know how to make you laugh. I know how to get to you. I know you, Lily. But I want you to know me too.”

She stood there, her eyes wide and sorrowful, and he could see the cogs in her mind whirring as she argued with herself.

“I’m scared, James. Did you know that?” He frowned as she spoke.

“I’m scared to let myself give in to you. I’m scared that if I go out with you, just one time, I will fall in love with you. And it won’t be that kind of love that lasts a month at the most. I will fall hard. I know that if I let myself love you, I will never stop. And when you get bored of me, when you realize you loved the chase of me saying no and not actually me, and move onto your next plaything, I will be left here, like I stand now, loving you.”

James walked towards her slowly until they were so close that he could feel her warm breath tingling against his ice cold skin. He studied her eyes carefully before he kissed her again, this time desperately, like this kiss could determine whether she would ever understand how much he loved her. Her fingers wound their way into his hair, her body against his, he held her close to him, and when they finally broke apart, he kept his face just inches from hers.

“Go out with me.” He asked, but it was more of a demand, his voice so low and husky Lily couldn’t stop herself any longer.

“Okay.”

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