gladtobesoangry

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met up with an old friend. I have high hopes. I also hope i don't ruin it a second time

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Patch jacket I have been working on. All patches are screen printed and if you're looking to buy some patches dm me!

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Are you ever overwhelmed by the feeling of craving no one in particular

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(those boys)

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i got toonsquid…

this is my second attempt at actually tweening, i can definitely still improve A LOT buuut i'm pretty proud of this one! (IT TOOK SOOOO LONG)

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Actually heart wrenching

Does anyone else think that putting Goodbye Love after The Gun Song is diabolical work and makes one feel physical pain

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happy pride!!!

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"im gay"

"im straight"

ok??? well, I am a good person. I am a powerful person. I don't believe in evil. I think that evil is an idea created by others to avoid dealing with their own nature. I understand my own nature. Good and evil have nothing to do with it. I understand myself. I control myself. I control everything within myself. My domain is my domain. I can lie on my back and affect the lives of those I love without moving a finger. But I would only affect them in good ways. I don't waste time on evil. I'm a good person. Is this thing on? Do you know about Jesus? Do you really know? All you know is what you've been told. Listen with your heart. Sing with your heart. You've just been singing about girls. What do you know about girls? Fuck... Why are you so tense? You've gotta start singing with love in your heart. Is this on? Adam, are you there? A pain star has entered your house, but what are you going to do about it? Are you going to touch it? It only happens once every thousand years, maybe even two thousand years. And how long is a year, really? It's almost Halloween. I haven't done shit this year. It's been a summer—it's been a summer since February, I was in Australia. God. California? Then what? June, July, August, a month in Europe. I can't even go to Ikea anymore, I've got flashbacks. Fuck! You should see the lights that I got there, I think you'd like them. I think that– I think you'd like them a lot!Isn't this where...

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I'm spiraling 😀

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In the feelz rn

Missing someone

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hes stuck in Tumblr

let him out

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See below for a bpd rant

Having been in two codependent relationships I can notice my symptoms very quickly now. I noticed when I start to need someone to an unhealthy level.

But that doesn't make it hurt any less. Infact, being aware that I'm just having symptoms makes me feel worse. I can't control my symptoms. Especially when I'm deep in a codependent situation.

My ex favorite person #1 was one hell of a person. I loved them so strongly and I still miss him sometimes. I wish I hadn't ruined everything. I always do.

Ex favorite person #2 recently broke up with me. His coping mechanisms aren't advanced at all. He lashes out with anger and hurts people. He hurt me. he said I'm manipulative. For showing emotions and communicating.

His actions just ingrain thoughts in my head that tell me Im a horrid person and I hurt everyone around me.

He said I isolated him from his friends. I don't know how but I guess I did. If he felt isolated and he blames me then I must be the issue. I just wish he had communicated more. His communication skills are so miniscule it's actually funny. He likes to say communication is key and everytime we have an issue he sulks for weeks and simmers in it. He never drops anything. Always holds grudges.

I miss him. I miss feeling loved. I miss the times we had.

I don't miss feeling isolated. I don't miss feeling sick everyday. I don't miss spiraling at the tone changes.

I'm glad we broke up. But he is so immature that he's spreading rumors about me being manipulative. I'm not mad. Just disappointed, genuinely.

BPD makes it so hard to hold relationships. I mean, I guess unstable relationships are literally in the diagnostic criteria.

Unstable relationships are volatile. I am volatile

There's no saving me. I'm doomed to forever be needing

No one can save me except myself. And it's so damn hard to do that

BPD is a curse.

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In my last post I used the phrase

Be loved or die trying

And I felt it needed repeating.

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Simon henriksson is so me

See below for the crazy ramblings of a person with BPD who sees himself in Simon.

His relationship with Sophie is inherently codependent. He feels he needs her to live. By acting desperate he scares her off. In the end he loses her in a violent way. All codependent relationships are doomed from the start. It's a dark dark spiral and it's inescapable. He needed her. He can't live without her.

I like the ending where Simon kills Sophie. It's a very accurate depiction of what codependent relationships can feel like. Life or death.

They will rip you apart to your bare instincts. You are nothing but your little kindergarten self trying everything to make your parents love you. But everything you do is not enough.

Be loved or die trying.

Resentment starts to grow very quickly in codependent relationships. It's a situation where one person, the codependent person, feels the other does not meet their needs. But they are everything the codependent person needs. And it builds this resentment and a growing anger towards them.

I've been in two or three codependent situations. All have ended explosively. Resentment grows. It feels like or death in a relationship of this nature. That's why I relate so heavily to Simon henriksson.

Which is why I say Simon henriksson is so me.

Not in an aesthetic way or a pretty way.

In a way that is gross and wrong.

Having BPD is a curse. But having Simon as a comfort makes it feel okay sometimes

If you read this insane ramble I actually am in love with you

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"usual routine ..."

- turn up brightness if u cant see !!

i am SO SORRY i always forget to damn post on here oml😭😭😭 i took like a rlly long break but i was back like a few weeks ago, im going to try n remind myself to post here more as well !! also i might start posting more of my ocs n original artworks as well idk

hope u all have a great day/night !!

[gladtobesoangry]

"Imagine liking trans boys." On it boss 🗣🗣🗣 You bet your ass I'mma love the hell outta them 💪💪💪❗️❗️❗️😤😤😤