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How To Make Boys Next Door Out Of Assholes (SL with @FiredUpAndTired, @ATouchOutOfView, @DayDividesNight, and @aLittleBitNice)

Cay: ^It felt like there was still a lot to do. I was used to planning theme nights at the club. But this one had been different. This wasn’t anywhere near as complicated as planning a BDSM night. Tonight was about planning a wedding shower for the two women who meant everything to me. They were the two that gave me absolutely everything in my life. And I wasn’t sure how to thank them for that. But I could do this. I could give them this party.

It wasn’t going to be much. I knew how both Amelia and Cassidy operated. They wanted their family there. Which for them was just me, Lindsay, Daddy, Wesley, and Emily. I had wanted everyone to be here, too. But I felt like Emily was going to need more of a night out without her big brother watching over her. Plus Lindsay and Wes were working on a track with Aaron Bennett. There was no way I was going to risk pulling her attention away from that to have her out for one night. There was no doubt in my mind that she was going to celebrate with Cassidy when the opportunity presented itself.

But there was still so much I had to consider. I didn’t want to shut the club down for the night just for a small party. But I knew I wanted to have it at Trinity. It was a spot that meant everything to Cassidy and Amelia. So there was only one option. It was Ladies Night. But more importantly, the club’s theme for the night was to give the lesbians in and around New York a safe place to play. I had done everything in my power to keep all of the plans from the two brides. I wanted this to be perfect.

And it hadn’t taken much work to get Emily on board with helping me plan. Once she passed the bar, she was devoted to Amelia. I understood it, though. Mellie looked past the name Baines. She gave Emmy a chance to succeed on her own without having to be a Baines. It was a beautiful sight to see. She was coming into her own. She didn’t have to hide who she was. Daddy never looked down on her for it. And she had a sister in Cassidy. I didn’t try to pretend that I wasn’t grateful for that. I loved that Cassidy loved both my Daddy and Emmy. She took care of them when they weren’t paying attention. She made sure they both knew that it was okay for them to be who they were. No one was going to judge them.

But there was one surprise visitor coming to the party tonight. Cherish Ambrose needed a night out on the town. She was the one author Daddy loved working with. She let him do whatever he wanted with the pictures he illustrated for her. As long as it fit in the story of the book, it didn’t matter. And I had an idea I wanted to pitch to her at some point. But not tonight. Tonight, Cherish Ambrose was coming to Trinity to meet Emily Baines. Neither one of them knew it, though. I just thought they would work. Cherish knew what it was like to work with a Baines. And she knew what kind of pressure Daddy had been under. She was going to take care of Emmy, too. Just in a very different way.

As Emmy walked into the VIP section, she narrowed her eyes at me. She didn’t like that she had had to hide this from Mellie. But it was the only thing I required. This was Mellie and Cass’ engagement party. They didn’t need to know about it.^

Emily: *I glanced up from the papers I had splayed across my lap at Cay walking across the room. She had a lot on her plate with planning the night, especially since she was insistent on doing it with no one but me to help her. I knew I wasn’t much help with something like this either, especially since I was so bad at keeping secrets that weren’t my own. I owed Amelia a lot, like everything my whole life had turned into since I’d moved here to New York. 

Passing the bar exam had been a breeze -- a nerve-wracking one, perhaps, but a breeze all the same. Since then, I’d been busy at earning my keep around here, not because Amelia made me feel like I needed to do that, but because I wanted to show her that she hadn’t made a mistake in trusting me to do this job for her. I was in the middle of a pro bono case of a family who lived down the street from Amelia and Cassidy at the moment, some slum lord of a property owner who was refusing to make even basic repairs on the building they lived in. The rent-controlled tenants couldn’t afford to move somewhere else, and they were stuck in a building that was literally falling apart. Calling too much attention to it would just make the city officials start the process of condemning the building and tearing it down, but doing nothing just meant it was all going to start falling down around their heads. I was in a bit of a quandary about how to handle it, so I knew I was definitely not holding up my end of the bargain when it came to planning the Ladies’ Night that Cay had in mind for the girls' bridal shower. 

It wasn’t that I didn’t think this was a great idea. It was. Amelia and Cassidy were pretty well known around the lesbian circles in this part of the city. Despite the fact that there were more people in the New York metro area than there were residents in some states, the gay and lesbian communities here were pretty close-knit. You couldn’t live here for any kind of extended amount of time and not start to see a lot of familiar faces at a minimum. You definitely couldn’t own a club that was a safe space for the entire community as well as the kink community to boot without getting be well known by a whole hell of a lot of people. Inviting them all here for their night was a brilliant idea. I just didn’t know how my boss was going to feel about a surprise, and I didn’t know how good I was going to be at keeping the secret. Besides, party planning was most definitely not my forte, but I was going to help as much as I could. 

I adored Cay. I had since the moment she got out of the car in my parents’ driveway with Teddy looking like a deer in headlights. Here in the club, where she was in her own element, was actually pretty entertaining to watch. I could see exactly what made my brother and Wesley fall in love with her. I was just here to be here assistant if she needed me, even if I was failing at that.*

Cay? What can I do here? I’m starting to feel absolutely useless. Just give me a task, and I promise to try not to screw it up. 

*I laughed and pushed the papers into the bag I’d brought them into the club with. I shouldn’t have even been looking at them. I’d promised Cay I would try to take the night off when she’d asked me to be a guest, but the party hadn’t started yet. It was still a little while off, so I thought I had the time. But I needed a distraction, I was going to get so lost in my head that I was never going to be able to have a good time if I didn’t put it down now.* 

Cay: ^I could only raise my brow at the woman in front of me. I knew what that briefcase meant. She was doing work. I let out an audible groan at the thought. I wasn’t going to allow Emmy to work on anything while I was here. I knew what she was working on, though. And I wasn’t surprised. I knew that Mellie could throw down some demands when she hired someone. 

But I also knew that this was going to be different. Everyone needed a night off from worrying about everything going on around us. And by being here, I was giving the three I lived with some time with each other without me being in the middle. It was something they all deserved. I just needed to stay focused on what was going on around me. Because even if everyone in my life was off tonight, I was still running the place. I still had to make sure everything was going smoothly.

I didn’t keep the bite out of my tone, though. I needed Emily tonight. I had been easy on her with the rest of the party. But tonight was different. Right now was different. In a few hours, she could go back to being the hardass lawyer that Mellie had hired.^ I need you to take your briefcase back to the apartment. I need you to make yourself presentable. And not work ready, Emmy. Skimpy dresses and heels! I want you to look like you belong here and not like you’re trying to work here.

Emily: *My eyes went wide when Cay said skimpy dress and heels in my general direction. I might have owned that type of clothing, but it wasn’t exactly something I was comfortable in. I could dress for a courtroom while I had to be in it, but when I wasn’t in it, I wanted to be in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Dresses weren’t usually in my vocabulary, though I got the need for tonight to be a little bit different than normal. It was a party… in a club… even if it was technically the club I worked for. And it called for something out of the ordinary. 

I couldn’t complain, so all that was left to do was to pack my things back in the briefcase with a soft groan and stand up to walk back to my apartment behind the club and above the shop. It was a quick walk, and I could get changed faster than anyone was going to miss me besides Cay. I was just not sure how the rest of the night was going to go. There was a theme for the night, and it fit, especially since Amelia and Cass were one of the better known lesbian couples in the city at this point. 

It was just going to be a little different for me. I’d been hiding who I was for so long that I’d never bothered to go to any of the clubs around the University, and I’d most certainly never even dreamed of going to one back at home. Even though I worked for a club now, I’d never really been inside it it for anything other than work.*

You’re going to have check out whatever I come up with to put on and make sure it’s presentable, Cay. I have no idea what I’m doing here. 

*Cay just laughed and shooed me off into the apartment to agonize over something to wear before I slid into a skintight navy blue dress with a series of parallel slits up the back that ended mid thigh. I’d had it for a couple of years, but I’d never had the guts to actually get into it. I wasn’t prepared for how well it fit, and the matching shoes added three inches to my height. Make-up was a whole second issue. I had no idea what I was doing, but I could scramble something together that looked half decent and just cross my fingers that the low lights in the club could cover the multitude of sins I was about to commit on my own face before I walked back out into the dimly lit club.* 

Cay: ^My eyes shot north as Emmy walked back up to VIP. I hadn’t been expecting what she had come back in, but I did tell her to wear something slutty. I still needed to get changed and throw some makeup on, but I wanted to be here when Cher got here. Clearing my throat, I looked at the woman in front of me with a grin. She was going to smack me for what I was about to say, but it needed to be said.^

If I wasn’t sleeping with your brother and two other people, I might have tried to get into your pants tonight, Miss Baines. Alas, there is still plenty of work that needs to be done around here. And while we have an extra set of hands coming in a few minutes, I don’t want things to just come together at the last minute.

^I could only grab the small stack of napkins that were sitting on the table in front of me. I tossed them to Emily with a soft laugh before going back to what was going on around me. I needed her to know that this was kind of a special night. And I wanted it to stay that way.^

I know this isn’t something you’re used to. It’s weird for you to have a family that actually gives a shit about you. But we do. And that’s why I wanted you here. You belong at this party as much as I do. Because Mellie and Cass both think of you as family. Even if Mellie is your boss. I just want them to know that we support them as much as they support us.

Emily: *I would have folded my arms against my chest at what Cay said if I hadn’t had them full of now unfolded napkins that I was rearranging and placing behind the bar. My face was red from the compliment she’d just fired my way. I wasn’t used to hearing anything like that. I’d spent most of my life hiding out and pretending to be something that I wasn’t. This was the first chance I had to be me, and I didn’t know how to handle it. I also didn’t know how to handle this family thing 100%. It wasn’t living up to my previous experience with family, in the best way. I had my part to do, but I wasn’t held up to some impossible standard, nor was anyone here lying about who or what they were for appearances. I was slowly getting used to it all. 

The help comment had me curious though. I didn’t know who else we were expecting. I was getting to know all of the employees at the bar since I was living just above it and we all worked for the same person. I knew Amelia and Cassidy, and Cay was my family. She had been since the minute she drove up into the drive with Teddy. I was also getting to know some of their other friends. I just couldn’t figure out who she meant. 

I heard someone coming in behind me as I turned my back to the dance floor, and I figured it was one of the bartenders. I wasn’t prepared for the shock of pink hair that greeted me as I turned on my heels, nearly losing my balance. My eyes went wide as I reached for the bar to steady myself and keep from falling, and I absolutely forgot to introduce myself to whoever this was. Instead I let out a soft squeak and turned bright red when she laughed*

Cher: *I was almost surprised when I got a phone call from Myrick’s girl asking me if I wanted to come to the club tonight. I had heard of Trinity. Who hadn’t in this city? It was wildly successful for what it was. A safe haven for people to be together. Especially when they had a theme night. But I was surprised why I was coming. A party for the owners. An engagement party of some sort. Cay had said she needed help setting up since it was a surprise, and the only other person she could get was Myrick’s little sister. Cay still needed another hand to help. So I agreed. I knew I needed a night out of Brooklyn. As much as I loved the place, I knew I needed to get out more. Things were different on this side of the river. And I just needed a place to not think about the book Myrick was currently drawing for me.

There were a million questions on my tongue for him, but those were for a different night. No. Tonight was all about focusing on whatever Cay needed me to do. And after the 40 minute subway ride, I was ready to be useful. But that was before I saw her. Skintight blue dress with heels that weren’t distracting. Dark brown hair that fell to the middle of her shoulders. It was fucking perfect. And then she turned to face me. I felt myself fall down a hole. Hazel eyes that I was used to teasing looked back at me with shock. This was absolutely Myrick’s little sister. And Jesus fucking Christ, she was stunning. I wasn’t sure if she knew what I was thinking, but I heard the squeak as she started to tip in the shoes she was wearing. Reaching out, I let my hands take hold of her hips. I wanted to steady her. Well, I already wanted more than that from her, but I was a stranger. And I wasn’t going to be that forward with her.* I know the pink is a lot to take in, Minha linda menina. But try not to hurt yourself. I’m Cherish. Do you know where Cay is?

Emily:  *I was immediately flustered by this woman’s mere presence, and the fact that she had her hands on my hips made it that much more difficult for me to process what she was saying. It finally hit me that she’d said something about pink hair being a lot to take in, but it wasn’t that. The color was striking. It would have gotten anyone’s attention, but I’d seen colors like that before. Cay’s red was just as striking even though it was natural. She’d also said something in a language I didn’t quite catch. It sounded like some kind of cross between Italian and Spanish, and other than a week in Cancun my parents had forced me into and the menu at my favorite Italian restaurant, I had zero experience with either of them. I couldn’t get stuck on that at the moment, though. I had to try to focus so I didn’t look like an absolute moron right now, because there was no way that was the first impression I wanted to leave Cherish with. I moved to steady myself on the precarious heels without shifting her hands from their place on my hips because she could keep them there for as long as she wanted in my opinion*

Cay is somewhere around here. Probably in the back checking on the food, but she’ll be out in a minute. Oh, I’m Emily, by the way. Emily Baines. 

*The name Cherish sounded slightly familiar to me, though I wasn’t certain where I’d heard it before. Though, if she was a friend of Cay or the girls I’d probably heard them mention it in passing. Now, I was just kicking myself for not paying closer attention.*

Cherish: You’re Myrick’s little sister. Got it. He’s mentioned you a few times before our meetings. He’s a good artist. Thank Christ he didn’t waste that talent going into law. No offence. *Myrick and I had had many talks about his life before he moved to New York. It was something I hadn’t ever really had to handle. My parents were accepting of who I was. They knew I loved to write and create stories. Even if those stories were for children. It was just who I was. And they had no issues with the fact that I liked girls over guys.

But I knew how to be supportive of people who didn’t have that same relationship with their family. It was why I ended up bonding with Myrick the way that I had. He led a different life than what everyone wanted for him. And his little redhead was a firecracker. It made me like them more.* Well, I’m glad you decided to say fuck off to New England. That place is a fucking cesspool for assholes, Minha linda menina. New York is where it’s at. Especially if you want to be who you are without judgmental rich people telling you that pussy is only for dicks.

*I let my thumb rub along her hips before I pulled away. Under normal circumstances, I didn’t give a shit about anything. I never held my tongue and always said what was on my mind. But I also didn’t want to scare the Baines girl off. I wanted her to be comfortable with me. I needed it in a way I wasn’t ready to say out loud. I heard the telltale squeak from Cay as she came out of the back room. Turning my attention towards her, I wrapped an arm around Emily’s shoulder as I gently pulled her into my side.* Whatcha need me to work on, Firecracker? Tell me I’m allowed to follow the pretty girl in a tight dress around all night. She kind of gives me a lady boner.

Cay: ^Everything was set for tonight. And the only place I was playing hostess was up in VIP. But that was because I had the party to host. And I made sure that I wasn’t going to be doing anything other than spending time with my family. Sydney had agreed to take on the hostess role for the night in Amelia and Cassidy’s place. They needed a night off to just celebrate. And that was what I had arranged.

What I hadn’t arranged was the way I found Emily and Cher when I walked back into the main room. Em looked shell shocked for lack of a better word. And Cher was just Cher. Her arm was wrapped around Emmy’s shoulder as Em tried to figure out if it was okay to lean into her. My plan was coming together well. And it was something she needed. She deserved to be as happy as everyone else in our family. I had a feeling that Cher was the key to that. It was a plus. Cher would do a fucking excellent job in bringing Emmy out of her shell. Much in the same way that Lindsay pulled Daddy out of his shell.^ I see you’re making yourself at home, Cher. And yes. If you want to follow the pretty girl in the tight dress around all night, I don’t have a problem with it.

^I could see the way Emmy’s cheeks turned pink as I complimented her. She wasn’t used to that kind of attention when she wasn’t doing something wrong. She was kind of used to being told everything that was wrong about her. And it made me want to go back up to Connecticut and punch her mother in her face. But I knew better.^ Emily Baines, meet Cherish Ambrose. She’s the author who keeps requesting Daddy to illustrate her books. Cher, you’ve obviously seemed to attach yourself to the youngest Baines children. It’s alright, I’ll allow you to have Emmy.

Emily: *I’d thought it wasn’t possible to hurt yourself blushing, but between the way Cherish pulled me into her side and the way Cay was talking about me, I was absolutely the most self conscious person on the face of the planet at the moment, and I was struggling to find my tongue. If you put me in a courtroom there wasn’t a judge, jury or attorney on the face of the planet that was going to be able to intimidate me into being speechless, but I wasn’t used to being complimented. I was used to being criticized. That was what I’d spend my entire life being prepared for whether it was society’s judgment or the judgement in a courtroom or maybe even just my mother’s own critical eye. 

I was surprised to find out that the pink haired spit fire that was currently so close I could feel the heat from her body radiating into my own was one of the authors my brother worked for. I knew that was how he made his living, working on books and mostly ones for children, but the woman standing next to me didn’t exactly give off the vibe of being a children’s author, though I should have learned a long time ago to never judge a book by its cover. I didn’t exactly fit the image of what I was either, the until recently closeted lesbian daughter of a career lawyer and his career housewife now clad in a dress that looked like my brother might have painted it on me rather than me rolling it down over my hips before I’d walked back into the club tonight. I was cursing these shoes already for making me clumsy, even though they’d been the reason Cher’s hands hadn’t left my body yet, and for some surprising reason, I wasn’t sure I wanted them to leave me at all. 

I could see the look in Cay’s eye when she walked into the room and introduced the two of us, and something told me that there was more to her than what was apparent on the surface as well, like maybe she’d invited Cherish over to ‘help’ with ulterior motives in mind. If so, she had clearly missed her calling as a matchmaker.*

So does the pretty girl get any say in all of this? Because, I mean… Yes, she can follow me around for the rest of the night, but I cannot promise I’m not going to be a boring wallflower who’s just really good at sitting around on the furniture. I’m sure as hell not good at walking around in these shoes. 

*I couldn’t help myself when I leaned into Cher’s side after that. Just looking down at the shoes already had me a little unsteady on my feet, and it was good to have her there for support, though I found myself unable to pull away.*

Cher: *I could only laugh softly as Emily asked if she got a say in where she spent the night. I was never going to force her to spend her time with me. If she wanted to do it, I wasn’t ever going to fight her on it. But I was thrilled she said that she was okay with it.* Minha Linda Menina. You be where you want to be tonight. And if that place is by my side, then you’re by my side. And if that place is against the wall, then you sit your pretty ass against the walls. Although, if I’m honest with you, the couches look a little more comfortable. We could stay there for the night. 

*I was acutely aware that we were supposed to be helping Cay out, but everything was close to being done. I knew the doors were set to open any minute, and it was just about finishing touches. But the truth was that I was captivated by the girl in my arms. And the fact that she was staying in my arms was welcomed. 

I only took a few steps before I was pulling her down into my side on the couches in the VIP section. I wanted her to understand that I didn’t care about anything that made her uncomfortable. And I was always going to respect her boundaries. It was something I didn’t want to push with her. I didn’t want to scare her off.*

You don’t need to walk around in those fancy ass shoes, Emily. If you’re more comfortable in a pair of sneakers, go get yourself a pair of sneakers. I’m sure Cay has something hidden somewhere near this place.

Emily: *Now that I was sitting down, it was a lot easier to keep my balance. It wasn’t so much that the shoes were uncomfortable as it was that they were throwing off my center of gravity. I supposed I would get used to the inches of height that they added to me in time. For now, I was more than happy to settle into the couch here next to this girl who had just blown into the room and inexplicably taken up all of my attention. I didn’t know what was up with me tonight, but I did know nothing else was likely to get as much attention as she was tonight. Maybe it was something I just needed to go with and not worry so much about the damned whys of it all. 

I’d spent a long time never doing anything for myself, hiding things about me to make everyone else happy. Maybe tonight was the chance I was going to get to actually let loose and have a good time. I knew that was Cay’s intention for everyone tonight, though she’d told me to enjoy myself more times than I could count. I should probably start listening.

I shrugged, settling into place at Cher’s side on the couch and letting myself get as close as she’d allow me to get. I might be letting go, but I wasn’t going to wind up throwing her off in the process if I could help it. I just needed to avoid overthinking any of this.*

The shoes are ok. I’m a clutz on flat feet most of the time anyway, so the shoes are just a little more than I’m used to. 

*I turned my focus from the shoes to face her, raising an eyebrow out of curiosity. She’d been saying the same thing to me ever since we’d met, like it was some kind of nickname or something, even though I had no idea what it meant or even what language it was.*

So, are you going to tell me what that phrase means and what language it’s in? Or are you going to keep me guessing if you’re calling me a big nerd in Spanish or something? 

*I laughed at myself and my awkward attempt at making a joke and just silently prayed she thought I was as funny as I was trying to be.* 

Cher: *My lips curled into a smirk as she asked what I was calling her. I hadn’t planned on showing her that card until further down the line. But the truth was that she could ask for the moon and I’d find a way to give it to her. That’s how attached I was to her. It had been instant. And from what Myrick had told me about his feelings for Cay, it seemed to be a Baines thing with the two youngest children.*

Close enough with the language. Portuguese, actually. Not Spanish. I could probably understand a little bit of conversation because it is relatively close, but it’s different enough that I’d be lost on the finer details.

*I couldn’t help as I bent a little closer to Emily. The meaning was really only something to be heard by her. I wasn’t entirely sure I was ready for anyone else to know what was happening with me. But I needed to keep her focus off of everything around her. Because I knew the look on Emily’s face. She was concerned with what was going on around her. She was starting to overanalyze everything. She may not acknowledge it, but she had just as much of a problem with anxiety as her brother did. Not that he ever really said anything about it. 

My voice was soft as I let the tip of my nose brush along her jaw. This was a relatively intimate moment, and I wanted her to remember exactly what those words meant.* My Pretty Girl, Emily. I’ve been calling you My Pretty Girl.

Emily: *I blinked and froze a little when I realized what Cher had been calling me all night. I’d known she was flirting. I was oblivious, but not that much. However, when it registered that she’d been calling me hers since she walked in the door it hit me like a ton of bricks. I could fight what was happening, and if I let the slight panic that was setting in as the party started to fill up take over then that was exactly how I was going to react. When had that ever gone well for me? I honestly couldn’t think of a single example. 

And my heart wanted to melt the moment that I felt her nose brush along the line of my jaw. I decided just to let it, forgetting about everything that was going on in the room around us. It didn’t matter. I knew the only thing that really mattered was this girl who had captivated me in the short time since she’d walked into my line of sight. It didn’t matter that she knew my brother. I would have responded to her in the same way no matter what because there was something about her that made me realize that Cher calling me hers was the most natural thing in the world.

I turned, about to speak and try to say something witty like “I bet you say that to all the girls.” Instead, my instincts took over, and I leaned in pressing my lips to hers even though my heart was slamming against the inside of my chest and I was terrified at what her reaction was going to be.*

Cher: *I felt my lips curve into a smile as Emily pressed her lips against mine. I wasn’t going to rush her any further than she was ready to go, but I did let my fingers comb through her hair as I pulled her a little bit closer. I was glad she was letting go of everything. She was just letting her feelings and emotions take her where she wanted to go. And it was something I could understand.

I didn’t pull away from her because I wanted to. The soft squeak and clearing of a throat brought me back to my center. I knew that I could get lost in kissing Emily if we were alone, but I wasn’t going to pull her away from any of that tonight. Tonight was about celebrating with her family. But I wanted her to know that it was fine with what she had done. My voice was soft enough as I pressed one more kiss to her lips.* Don’t be embarrassed. You can do that again as many times as you want tonight, Pretty Girl. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do that. You hear me?

*I watched as she closed her eyes and nodded her head slowly, pressing my forehead against hers, I gave her a small smile before turning to the company that had joined us. There was a few girls I didn’t have the pleasure of knowing, but I could only assume who they were. One had blonde hair that wasn’t natural only because of the dark roots at the top of her head. It made the fact that she colored her hair obvious, but it worked for her. She looked like she could stab someone, and no one would question it.

But it was the girl with the platinum blonde hair that looked the most excited. I was almost positive it was because Emily was finally relaxing. I could feel the way she pressed against me. She was slightly embarrassed. But the truth was that this was good for her. The blonde looked like she was ready to jump out of her skin.* I’m not sorry for how you found us. Anything the pretty girl next to me wants, the pretty girl next to me gets.

Cassidy: *I hadn’t been sure what to expect when we walked in the club, though I knew Cay and Em had spent most of the day getting ready for the event tonight. We’d had specialty nights at the club before, but tonight was going to be different since we were basically turning this into an engagement party for Lia and myself. I’d expected decorations, and I’d expected people, but I hadn’t expected to find Emmy curled around some gorgeous pink-haired girl on a couch in the VIP area. 

My heart jumped up in my chest. I’d been worried about her here in New York. I knew she’d been through a lot. So had Myrick and Cay, though the two of them had each other. She had family in all of us, that was something, but she’d never really had anything else much except for work. I could see that she was the kind of person who’d get lost in that if someone let her, and this was a pleasant surprise. 

The squeak that escaped my lips left me pulling the lower one between my teeth to stop myself from making another noise as I leaned into Lia’s side, though I wasn’t going to be able to stop the grin. When the stranger stopped and refused to apologize for the way we’d found them, I didn’t even pause to process anything else.- 

No apologies required. I’m just glad to see her having a good time. It’s been a long time since I think she was that happy.

-I knew I was probably embarrassing her, though I was sure I basically had no filter between what I was thinking and what came flying out of my mouth. I just hoped Lia wasn’t going to elbow me for babbling too much.- 

Lia: ^I could only shake my head as Cassi went on about Emily locking lips with the stranger in the VIP lounge. When Cay had said she wanted to take over for tonight, I knew something was up. And I wasn’t surprised that it was this. The only request she had was that she needed the night off and for me and Cassi to just relax. I could understand that. And I could give her this. It was exactly what we all needed.

But I wasn’t entirely okay with seeing Emily and the pink haired mystery so cozy on my couch. But I knew that Cassi was right. It had been a long time since Emily had been happy. And part of the reason I was hoping she felt so comfortable now was because she was out of Connecticut. She could finally be herself without worrying about what her parents were going to say. It was a relief that both her and Myrick had some kind of family down here. But I could only notice that someone was missing. I could only turn my head to the little redhead that had put this entire night together.^

And where is your girl this evening? Don’t try to tell me that she’s not yours. Cassi and I have seen the two of you in the shop. Stealing kisses here and there while the two of you are working together.

^I wanted to address the girl that Emily was pressing herself close to, but the truth was that I didn’t want to embarass her anymore than necessary. I liked Emily, and she was damn good at what she did for me and the community. I wasn’t entirely sure I was ready to risk losing that just because everyone was picking on her.^

Cay: ^I wasn’t entirely shocked that Mellie knew about me and Lindsay. The shop was a safe space for us, and I felt no reason to hide it. Everyone knew what our relationship status was. Well, what it had been. There was no reason to hide the fact that there were feelings with me and Wes and her and Daddy. But the newest development had been that we were all just going to give in to whatever feelings there were. There was no real reason to hide it. We all belonged to each other. And it shouldn’t have been a surprise that we all ended up having feelings for each other. It wasn’t something any of us were ashamed over.^

She has work to do. Something about recording a duet with a new artist that Wes didn’t scare off. It’s a miracle, I know. But she knows that her career as a singer comes before anything else. And she decided to throw herself into getting the song right. None of us blame her for it. And it gave Daddy and Wes an excuse to have date night with the two of them.

^I could see the look on everyone’s faces. It was almost as if they hadn’t been expecting that revelation to come out. But the truth was that it was only a matter of time before we ended up taking that step. And it was something we had been doing for a while. But it was also something we kept to ourselves. Not because we didn’t think our family would understand, but because we just wanted to make sure it was something that was going to work.^

Stop looking at me like that. We deserve to be happy. And you know if Daddy was here, he wouldn’t be comfortable. So just let him and Wes have their date night at home. Okay?

Emily: *I raised an eyebrow at the conversation going on in front of me. It surprised me a little, until it hit me that it shouldn’t have been any kind of surprise. Teddy had always spent so much time being beat down for not being what he was supposed to be in our family, not because of what he was attracted to. That had never even been an open topic of conversation in our family. But because of what was and how what he wanted out of life was nothing like what a guy in our family was supposed to be. It was the same reason I’d kept myself hidden for as long as I had. It wasn’t safe to be yourself in the Baines household unless yourself wanted to toe the party line until the day you died. 

What I really wanted out of life for the both of us was the chance to be truly happy. The three people my brother was choosing to spend his life with were what made him honestly happy, and I wasn’t going to take a moment to second guess any of that. Maybe it was high time I did the same thing for myself. 

I leaned over into the woman curled up next to me while I thought about it all. I could spend the rest of the night worrying about what was going on, or I could have a good time. It would have been easy to do the first thing. That would have been second nature, but maybe it was going to be better for me to just have a good time and not worry about anything else.*

If Teddy’s having a good time, then it’s the best thing for him. He deserves a good time. We all do. 

*I looked up to Cay and shot a half nod at her, knowing that she’d probably set all of this up to start with. I’d ask her later. If it was true, I owed the woman who was basically my sister-in-law a huge thank you.*

Cher: *It felt almost wrong for the way Cay had told everyone what was going on with Myrick and Wes. To me, she didn’t have to answer to anyone about her relationship. But everything seemed to be okay. Everyone was taking it well, which is really all that mattered. Especially Em. I was a little worried that it was going to be a little much for her to deal with tonight. But the truth was that it was exactly what she needed to hear.

I felt her relax into me as she said she just wanted her Teddy to have a good time. I made a mental note to talk to her about the idea of turning that into a book. I didn’t always have to try to come up with ideas. They came to me once in a while, and the spark was there the moment she said Teddy.

But it was the tiny brunette that had my attention. Her eyes were still focused on me as I tried to understand what was going through her head. It was like she was trying to understand why I was here. Although, I wasn’t entirely sure I was supposed to be here other than the invitation from Cay. I didn’t know the other two that were standing before me. I just knew that Cay told me to be here. My voice was a little harder than I wanted it to be, but I needed her to know that I wasn’t going after Em for a bad reason.*

Look, Cay invited me. She wanted me to help her set up the party. I met Em and we’ve been attached at the hip since the moment I walked through the door. I’m not going to hurt her. I’m not going to steal her money and run away. I don’t even need her money. You can back off now, thank you very much.

Cassidy: *I couldn’t help snorting out loud when Pink decided to announce that she wasn’t after Emily for her money or anything. I figured she was someone Cay invited, and I knew how protective Lia was going to be of Baby Sister over there. It turned out she was a lot more than Myrick’s Little Sister. She’d wound up being like a little sister to all of us. That wasn’t why she was working here. She’d also turned out to be amazingly good at her job. 

I hadn’t had a chance to see her in court or hear anything she did legally, but I heard about all of it. She’d written a few contracts up for Lia and taken on a couple of pro bono cases in the neighborhood, and she’d won both of them. She was a good lawyer, and Lia said in court she was confident as hell. But out here in the club, she was far from that. It made all of us want to protect her, so I understood the urge. 

I shook my head and glanced between Cay and Lia before I held out my hand to the new chick* Alright, well if no one else is doing introductions I’ll just take over. I’m good at being awkward. I’m Cassidy, this is my fiancee Amelia, and this is our club. Cay is my best friend. Emily is going to be my adopted little sister once I talk her brother into letting me keep her, and it’s nice to meet you, whoever you are.

Cher: *I gave a smile to the platinum blonde that had stuck her hand out towards me. It was refreshing to see someone who could just break the tension. Although, I was kind of surprised she was going to be marrying the one that seemed to want to murder me. I shook my head with a grin.* Oh, I know who you are. Myrick has told me all about the cast of characters in his life. He usually finds a way to work them into my books.

*I heard Cay trying to hold in her laughter as Amelia raised a brow. Everyone knew Myrick was an artist. I wasn’t sure if they knew he illustrated my books, though. And by the looks on everyone’s faces, they didn’t know that. But I shouldn’t have been surprised. Myrick was always a bit of a private guy. He tended to keep information to himself.

My lips curled into a smile as I kissed the top of Emily’s head again. Everyone in the room had at least one character in my books. And I was going to make sure the woman pressed against me got her own book. But that was something to discuss later.* I’m Cherish Ambrose. Most people just call me Cher. Myrick’s been illustrating my books since college. It’s how the two of us met. And I’ve been trying to help him keep out of his trust fund since then. Any time I have a new book out, I get him to illustrate. He’s my go to artist. So yeah. I know about everyone he considers family.

Emily: -I felt the heat rush up to my cheeks when Cher kissed the top of my head again and mentioned that she’d known my brother for years. Teddy had mentioned from time to time that he worked on children’s books, though he was usually bound by a confidentiality agreement while he worked on the book. I knew the ins and outs of those contracts better than anyone, and just because they ended once the book was finally released, didn’t mean that Myrick was going to be shouting from the rooftops which books he’d illustrated. 

From time to time I would stumble across one of the things he’d worked on in the bookstore, though I rarely had time to go browsing through the children’s section. When I did, it was usually for a gift for some family member’s baby shower or tiny child’s birthday party I was trying to avoid like the plague. I wouldn’t ever forget the way I felt my jaw drop and hit my chest when I saw his name on a cover for the first time. It wouldn’t have been something that our parents appreciated, but it was something that I knew he was proud of. And I was always going to be endlessly proud of him for getting out and doing his own thing as soon as he could, even if I was a little envious of the fact that he’d done it much sooner than I could manage. 

I just wondered how much the girl whose side I was curled up against knew about me before I’d ever even heard her name- 

Well, that’s an interesting turn of events. Not exactly what I was expecting, but… fuck it. I like this one and I’m keeping her.

-I laughed and shook my head, glancing around the room at the assembled crowd. I could only imagine how Myrick might have imagined us as characters in Cher’s books. It was something I was going to have to look up now that I knew at least one of the author’s names to look for.

I was guessing Cay was the only one of us who knew all of the details. It made sense since she and my brother were a couple. But in the long run it didn’t matter. I wasn’t going to be able to explain the attraction that had hit me the minute she walked in the door. Maybe it was something I wasn’t ever going to be able to explain. If someone had asked me right this minute why I was curled up on a couch with a woman I’d just met, I wouldn’t have been able to give them a straight answer, despite me having chosen every step of my life carefully before now with only a few notable exceptions. 

Those notable exceptions had been some of the major turning points of my life. Maybe this was going to be another one of those points.- 

Cay: ^I couldn’t help but smile at Cher and Emily. It was exactly what I had been plotting. And I was glad to see Emmy letting go of any hangups she might have about being with Cher. I knew it wasn’t that Emmy was ashamed of who she was, but this was the first time she didn’t really have to hide it. Especially down here. None of us cared who she spent her time with. We all knew the truth, even if Daddy didn’t want to admit it. Emmy was an adult. She was capable of making her own decisions.

But I narrowed my eyes at my boss. She was still eyeing Cher up like something was wrong. It was like Mellie was trying to dig dirt up just so she could protect Emmy. Mellie was reacting worse than Daddy would if he was here. My words were almost a growl to my boss. I knew she was worried about Emmy, but at the same time, I wouldn’t have ever put her in a situation to get hurt.^

I wouldn’t have set her up with Cher if I felt like Cher was just going to hurt Emmy. Daddy’s been working with Cher for a long time, Mellie. Let it go. She’s a big girl who can make her own decisions. Besides, this was supposed to be a party. Remove the scowl from your face before I remove it for you.

Amelia: ^I could only raise a brow at the girl standing next to me. I was almost surprised at how far she had come since I had met her. There was a time where I would have been shocked if she had stood up to me like that. But she was growing up. She was a mother, and her being in a relationship with Myrick, Wes, and Lindsay had made her more confident. I had to say that I was absolutely proud of her. But I still didn’t have to like the way she was talking to me.

She was right, though. Emily was an adult even if we all felt the need to protect her. And I guess I had taken on that role without really considering anything else. There was little I could do other than get to know the woman Emily was wrapped around. And that’s what Cay wanted for tonight. She wanted Emily to find someone, and she wanted Cherish to join our family. Cay was very similar to Cassi in that regard. When she found someone worthy of our family, she found a way to make it work. It was what happened with Wes and Lindsay. Cay made it happen because she wanted them to be a part of our family. It wasn’t something I could deny her. And Emily deserved to be happy. I couldn’t deny that fact.

I pulled my girl down into my lap as we officially joined the group around us. I could let go of the protective personality for the moment. I could do everything in my power to enjoy the night. And I wasn’t going to ruin that for Cassi. There was no way in hell she’d let me do it. But I could remember that Cay had thrown the night together for us. It was a night for us to relax, celebrate, and just enjoy the people we were with. That was something I could do.^

#HowToMakeBoysNextDoorOutOfAssholes

[glamsweatsugar-blog]

Fallen Now Is Babylon The Great (SL with @LustByTheHour)

Amelia: ^He didn’t make anything easy. That was for damn sure. He had done a good fucking job of covering his tracks to fall off the face of the Earth. But he was still using the name Del Everly. Which meant that he could be found. And I had Sydney working on it from the moment Cay and Myrick had moved into their place in Hell’s Kitchen. I wasn’t going to tell them what I was up to, but they needed every part of their past to be closed. And my fear was that if Del didn’t have the answer, he was going to come looking. And I wasn’t going to allow that.

Lin and Myrick were positive that Watson was Myrick’s kid. All because of the eyes. But I wasn’t going to let that be the only form of confirmation. It had been easy. The first day back at the shop, Lin gave me Watson. Emily knew I had a case for her. And as long as I told her it was a case, she knew enough not to open her mouth. I didn’t want Lin and Myrick knowing what was going on. They would have lost their fucking minds, and I wasn’t going to have that.

But getting out of the country without my girl was an issue. She knew I was going to Paris. She just didn’t know why she couldn’t come. I wanted her to come. I wanted nothing more than to be wrapped up in a hotel room with her. But the truth was that she would have told Myrick and Lin about the whole thing. And that wasn’t something I could afford. So I told her I was looking for the perfect wedding gift to give her. Her lip pushed out into a pout, but she finally let me go with the promise to come back as soon as possible. I was going to have to spend a few days here to make the story believable, but I needed to get this out of the way.

As soon as I stepped out of the airport in Paris, I didn’t bother going to the hotel. No, there was far more important things I needed to handle. Especially if I wanted to terrify the man I was here to see. I was past the point of giving a shit about what he wanted and needed. He had the proper amount of time to crawl in a hole and hide. Now, he was going to have to deal with me.

I sat down at the cafe under Del’s apartment. I could have gone up, and I knew he’d freak the hell out if I showed up there unannounced. He was already going to freak out because I had found him. But it was a warning I had given him when he first started all of this with Lin. If he hurt her, he wouldn’t be able to hide. I would find him.

Looking down at my watch, I knew I had a few minutes to just take a breath as I waited. One of the waitresses walked over and asked if I needed anything. After quickly ordering a croque-monsieur and an espresso, I could do nothing but continue to wait. My eyes flicked between the door and the other patrons in the cafe until I heard the door get pulled open. My words were low as he walked passed my table without a second glance.^ You’re going to sit with me. You’re going to order your lunch. And you’re going to pay for both meals while I tell you what you left behind in New York. Do you understand, Mr. Everly?

Del: -I was just walking into the cafe downstairs for my usual lunch. This was the place I ate at every day if I wasn’t spending time with Kat. I didn’t even bother looking around at the cafe around me as I walked over to an empty table, at least not until I heard a familiar voice that had me freezing in my tracks. The last thing I could remember that voice telling me was that if I hurt her friend, she was going to find me, and I’ll be damned if she hadn’t.

I hadn’t made it easy. I wasn’t using a fake name, but I was living off the grid as much as possible. The apartment here was in my attorney’s name, and he took care of paying all the bills for me, so it was something I didn’t have to think about. But I supposed, if she’d really wanted to find me, I hadn’t made it impossible. What scared me most was that she’d wanted to find me that much.

I wasn’t good at math, but I was good enough at it to be able to count off the number of months that had passed since I’d left New York. I knew it was time for Cay’s baby to have already been born or to be born shortly. I could only assume that was why she was here. I settled into the chair opposite her, signaling the waitress.-

Je veux du poulet grillé et une bière, et je paierai aussi pour le repas de la dame.

-Turning to face Amelia, I leaned back in the chair. I could have played stupid, and pretended that I didn’t know why she was here, but I knew her well enough to know that she would have called me out on it the second I tried it. I knew I was in for a long meal, but I probably deserved every second of it.-

Hello, Amelia. I can’t pretend that I don’t know that you’re here about Cay and Myrick and probably the baby, so why don’t we go ahead and drop pretenses. Just let me know whatever it is you came here to tell me.

Amelia: ^I only looked at him with a raised brow. If he thought he was getting away that easily, he had another thing coming. And I wasn’t ready to give him the information about Lin and Myrick. But I was going to tell him the baby’s name. He needed to know who they held in the highest esteem. And I wanted him to know that they knew who would protect them if anything came about it.

Clearing my throat, I looked at the man in front of me as I let my eyes narrow.^ First of all, the baby has a name. And his name is Watson Holmes Baines. But, I’m not ready to talk about Watson. I should probably start with the fact that Myrick isn’t alone in the city anymore. He is probably in the process of getting disowned by his family because he took his little sister in. Until she was able to get a job and move into her own apartment.

^I watched for any sign of recognition from Del, but he was playing it cool. And it was something that was only starting to set my temper on edge. I was going to force him to sit here and listen to every word I had to say if it meant tying him to the chair.^ Emily got disowned, Del. And she ended up with Cay and Myrick. Does that mean nothing to you? Or am I going to have to tell you how Daddy Preppy Boy has loosened his collar and is now fucking two girls at once?

^That was the thing that got a reaction out of him. The look of disbelief on his face. Like he didn’t understand why Myrick was still alive if he was cheating on Lin. I would have never allowed that to happen. Lin was too important to Cassi for that to happen.^ I had them host a BDSM night at the club just after you left. They met a couple there. Cay gets to have time with a Sir while Myrick gives the sub some very needed Daddy time. It works for the four of them because there is constant conversation. It’s all about needs and wants being properly communicated. Like I told you to do with them from the word go. But you got scared and ran. And now they’ve perfected their relationship by adding Wes and Lindsay to it. Does that sting a little, Del? Knowing that Myrick has finally loosened up a little?

Del: -Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised at anything that happened when I wasn’t there. I’d walked away from all of it. Whatever they did at this point was just another sign they were better off without me. If Cay was getting Myrick to loosen up now that I was hiding out in Paris, then good on her. It was more than I’d ever been able to accomplish, and I should have been glad for them. I was missing out on everything back there, but once again, I was pretty certain that it was all going off better without me, and whatever Amelia had to say was just further evidence of that fact.

When she told me the baby’s name was Watson Holmes, I knew exactly who he’d been named after. I’d have known Amelia and Cassidy’s last names anywhere. They were all turning into a family for each other. I felt a pang of guilt roll through me. I could have been a part of that, but more likely, I would have been the ultimate reason that none of this worked out. I knew well enough to know that much about myself. I was poison, and Amelia was just here to remind me of that.-

I hope he’s happy. I hope they’re both happy.

-I took a long swig from the bottle that the waitress put down in front of me. It was cold, but it stung going down, though I was pretty sure that was probably just me holding back the emotions that never wanted to let out anyway, especially not now sitting across from her. My words were short, but I wasn’t sure what else to say to her.

She was right. I’d screwed this up. I knew that much, and I’d been kicking my own ass for it for the last few months. But it looked like I wasn’t getting off that easily since she was here to kick my ass too.-

Lia: I thought you said Myrick was like family at one point in your life. That means you have to have known that he had a little sister. Yet nothing? Do you even give a fuck about her, Del? ^I shook my head in disgust as I brought the small cup to my lips. I needed to calm down a little bit. But he was proving every instinct I had about him right.

I knew that him running was the best thing for Lin and Myrick. And it was all just confirmed with everything he had just said. But of course, he wouldn’t answer a question about Emily. Del wanted the information about Watson so he could get on with his life. Maybe it was something I was supposed to let happen.^ You really aren’t surprising me. You are exactly what I thought you were going to be. And it was everything I warned you about. Maybe it just doesn’t matter if the kid is yours or not. Maybe I should get the hell out of here before everyone in New York decides to shoot my ass for coming out here. What was I thinking? Why would a man who is nothing but a pompous, self centered, asshole even care if he had a child?

Del: -I could feel my teeth grinding on each other as she went on. Half of me wanted to go of on her and the other half of me knew I deserved every bit of it, because I had done every last one of the things she told me I’d done. There wasn’t a single thing I could say to redeem myself. I could start with putting my focus on what she’d told me about Emily.

Of course I’d known her. I’d lived with her older brother on and off for the better part of seven years. I’d met her and her parents, and it might have been a surprise to everyone else around there that she had something about her that had caused her parents to disown her, but not me. I knew people like Mr. and Mrs. Banes my entire life. Daughters were a commodity, and if they didn’t behave like one, then they were going to get cut off or married off as quickly as possible. Emily had never struck me as someone who was going to let herself get married off, and she most certainly wasn’t a commodity of Mr. Baines, so the only other option was being disowned. She was good at pretending, but so was I. It was easy to see when you knew what you were looking for.-

There’s a lot of shit I could say right now, Amelia. If you want me to come out and defend myself, then it’s not going to happen. But, yeah, I’m worried about Em. I know Ricky is going to take care of her, and I know she’s a smart enough girl to figure things out for herself, but fuck yeah, I’m going to worry about her. If I tried to help, they’d all run me out of their lives on a rail. But yeah I give a shit. I give a shit about the kid too, whether he’s mine or not. Doesn’t fucking matter to me, and not in that stupid ass, bullshit, selfish way you’re probably thinking I mean. I care. I just don’t know how to be a part of any of this without fucking it up. Every single last fucking one of them is better off without me.

-My chest was aching with all the shit I didn’t even know how to say, not that she was going to care what I had to say anyway. She was here to torture me.-

Lia: ^I felt my hands curl into fists as I thought about what he was saying. And the moment he called Myrick Ricky, I felt the fury in my blood. I knew it was habit. They had been friends for almost ten years before Del decided to up and leave. But this was different. He needed to know that this was not okay.^ You lost the right to call him Ricky the moment you walked out of their life. He is Myrick. That’s it. You call him Myrick or you say nothing. Do you understand?

^I scared him a little more than I was planning on. But I wasn’t going to let him get away with calling Myrick Ricky. There was no way in hell that was going to happen on my watch. And not when we were talking about everything that had happened since Lin and Myrick had started to move on with their life.^ Emily is living above the shop for the time being. In what used to be Cay’s apartment. Cay and Myrick moved into a condo in Hell’s Kitchen. She almost lost Watson because she was having terrible nightmares while they were living in your place. It was either she didn’t sleep or she had nightmares. A few weeks after you left, Myrick bought her a place. He put it in her name so she had complete control. And he proposed to her the day they moved in.

^I could only shake my head as I tried to think about what to say next. I knew Myrick and Cay weren’t going to accept his help. And I knew Emily didn’t have the full story about everything, either.^ I’m not going to tell you that you can’t help out Emily. They haven’t told her how much you’ve hurt her. But you know as well as I do that Emily isn’t going to accept help easily.

You have choices you can make, Del. But everything is the way it is for a reason. You did this. You walked away from everyone. And you left a mess that has been complicated, at best, to clean up. Now it’s time for you to take some fucking responsibility for what you’ve done.

Del: -Responsibility wasn’t a word I was used to hearing. My inheritance, combined with the habit of never committing to anything in my entire life had made that a more or less foreign concept to me. I was willing to give it a shot though. They wouldn’t want me involved in their lives, and especially not in the baby’s life, not after everything I’d put all of them through. That much was perfectly understandable.

But there were a few things I could do, and I could help Emily out in the process. I knew the apartment she was staying in, and if she was there it meant she was in good hands with Amelia and Cassidy. Amelia was fierce, as she was demonstrating at the moment, but it was Cassidy that I knew was going to wind up taking care of her in the long run. She was a marshmallow, but when she adopted someone, it was a forever kind of thing.

She’d never really taken a liking to me. Not that I could blame her. I wasn’t the kind of person that people like Cassidy loved. I didn’t even love myself ninety-nine percent of the time, so it was hard to make myself very lovable to anyone else.-

So tell me what is is you think I can do, because I know nothing I do is going to make it up to them. I’m stupid, but I’m not that stupid.

Amelia: You give up New York. Don’t come back. Don’t breathe in the direction of New York. And if that means selling the townhouse you own, you do it. Agree to sign over any and all rights you may have to Watson. You want all of this to be over? Prove it to me.

^I could only relax back against the chair as our food was brought out. I wasn’t really in the mood to eat, but I wanted Del to know I wasn’t leaving until all of this was settled. I had made him a promise if he hurt Cay. And I was keeping that promise.^ You’re a smart man, Del. I’m sure you can find a way to help Emily without anyone knowing. You have a lot to make up for. You destroyed two people that mean everything to my fiancée. One way or another, you’re going to make it up to everyone.

Del: -Giving up New York wasn’t going to be a big sacrifice. It wasn’t a place I ever planned on going back to. There were too many regrets there. I couldn’t even be on the same continent as that city right now. There was a reason I’d gone as far as Paris to get away from everything back there. It was as far away as I could manage and still get along fine. I’d learned French in school well enough to be able to navigate day to day life here, and it was the last place I’d expected anyone to come looking for me.

Selling the townhouse wasn’t going to be hard to pull off either. I’d inherited it from my grandfather years ago, and all I had to do was make a few phone calls to make sure that it was on the market and then sold. I didn’t care enough about the house to fight for it, especially when I knew that there was no reason I was ever going to find myself back in New York or on the Upper East Side again.

Signing over rights to the baby gave me a bit of a twinge. I had no idea if the baby was mine or Myrick’s, though the two of them deserved to have the peace of mind to know they were absolutely free of me and to live their lives without the shadow of me showing back up hanging over their heads. I could give them that much since I’d screwed up so much before now.

Emily… I’d have helped Emily one way or the other. I’d already come up with a few plans in my head, but one struck me as something I could offer to Amelia at the moment-

So, why don’t I sell the house? I’ll have my lawyer take care of everything so that I don’t have to. He has my power of attorney as far as business deals go, so he can sign all the paperwork without me having to set foot outside of the city. I’ll take the profits from that and slide them into an account for Em. My name won’t be anywhere on it. She can have the cash to do with as she pleases. She can use it to find a place to live, do whatever she wants. No questions asked, no strings attached.

As for the rest of your request, I don’t think I have it in me to set foot in New York again. The city is yours, and theirs. I wouldn’t do that to them, and I don’t plan on showing up with some mystery claim on a baby I walked out on months ago. I’m an asshole, but not that big of an asshole. I’ll sign the papers.

-I looked down at my hands threading the fingers together and not bothering with the food that had been brought out by now.-

I’m not trying to be nonchalant here. I just don’t think there’s anything good that any of them are going to get from me outside of money. Money is something I can do. Maybe it’s all I can do, but it’s better than nothing. And at the moment, it’s really all I’ve got to offer.

Amelia: ^I rolled my eyes as he said he only had money to give. And, in a way, it was true. But what he was really giving them was a fresh start. I held the paperwork in my hands that would let him know that he was truly off the hook for everything regarding Watson. But I wasn’t entirely sure I was ready to give it to him. I wanted to scare him a little bit more. I wanted him to freak the hell out. And I wanted him to know just how much I knew about what he was doing in Paris.

I didn’t take my eyes off of him as I let the words fall from my lips. He was going to know how much digging I did when looking for him. And the fact that I had this information was going to be saying a lot about the amount of time I put into finding him.^ And how is Miss Katarina Markova going to react when you tell her that you basically gave about 3.5 million dollars to your ex-boyfriend’s little sister? Because let’s be real, Del. That house you currently own is worth about 3.5 million if you sell to the first buyer to come along.

^It was funny to watch him go from cool and collected to white as a sheet. My lips curved into a grin as my realization came to life. He didn’t think I knew about the girl that he was with. Sydney hadn’t gone in half assed when I asked her to do a job for me. And having Katarina’s name in my back pocket was something I was going to use if nothing worked out the way I wanted it to. I honestly didn’t care if he moved on. It was something he needed to do. Especially if Myrick and Lin were moving on with their life.^ Yes, I know all about the vodka heiress you’ve been hooking up with lately.

Del: -I could only sit there blinking and listen as Amelia spilled my entire life out in front of me. To say I was surprised would have been an understatement. It wasn’t exactly common knowledge that Kat and I were spending time together. I wasn’t even sure you could call it a relationship.

I knew that Amelia must have thought I’d lost my mind sitting there in silence for as long as I did. I knew exactly how much that house was worth, and if I’d been my usual smart ass self I’d have told her it was easily worth 4 million in the current market. I was pretty sure she’d have bitten my head off for that one. -

Honestly, she’d probably be proud of me for taking some kind of responsibility for something. Besides, the two of us don’t need the money, which you probably already know.

- I wasn’t going to be surprised by anything else that Amelia said to me for the rest of the time she was here. Maybe I’d underestimated her. I was good at that. I’d underestimated Myrick and probably Cay, and definitely myself.-

Honestly, I’m going to be lucky if she lets me in the front door. She could do better.

-I laughed a little bitterly before resting my face in my hands. Today was more than a little bit overwhelming.-

Amelia: There’s your problem, Del. Everyone can always do better. And maybe you’re right. Myrick and Lin have definitely done better now that you’re gone. The fact that they didn’t lose Watson is a testament to that. But you know the truth. Well, most of the truth.

^I knew that time was getting the best of us while we sat here. I was dragging this out. It was really the last thing I needed to be doing. I needed to be doing everything to get my ass back on a plane to New York, and torturing Del Everly was not helping that particular mission.

I threw the file that had the DNA results down on the table. I was going to sit there until he decided he was ready to open it. If he decided he was ready to open it. I was done with the games. This was something that needed to happen now.^

Your fate is in front of you, Del. I know the answer. And I am the only person that knows the answer. Myrick and Lin have no idea I ran the test. The only person that knows is Emily. And since I told her it was for a case, she’s under obligation to keep her mouth shut. So tell me the truth, Mr. Everly. Are you ready to find out if you have a son or not?

Del: -I glanced at the papers in front of me and then back at her. The truth of it was that I wasn’t certain if I wanted to know. No matter what the results of the test were, I knew that Myrick was going to be a better father than I ever was. It wasn’t just because he was a daddy though he had that nurturing streak working in his favor. But he was the one who had stuck around. He was the one who put in the work, and he was the one who hadn’t been afraid of it all. In the long run, he was infinitely more mature than I was. Maybe that would change over time, but for now, it was enough to know that he was there when I wasn’t.

I drummed my fingers on the table for a second and reached out to grab the envelope and rip it open. I didn’t know what I was looking for except the names on the paperwork. Mine wasn’t anywhere to be seen, but Myrick’s was. I figured she’d run the DNA test on something of his since nothing of mine was going to be easy to get. It was good enough. There were only two possible answers to the question being asked. Eliminating one of us meant the other was the father. It was good enough to just test Myrick.

My eyes scanned down the page until I saw what I was looking for, and I felt guilty about the relief that ran through me. It wasn’t just for me. It was for them as well. It meant they could carry on their lives without me possibly intervening in it again. He was the father. It didn’t mean I wasn’t going to do something. But I was going to be doing it because I wanted to instead of obligation and guilt. I fully intended to make sure that Emily was alright and would always be alright no matter what her parents decided to do. I was also going to skip enough money into a college fund to make sure the kid could go wherever he wanted when the time came. I wasn’t going to tell Amelia about it right now, but I’d had the plan in my head for awhile now. I just knew I could trust her to make sure that it was carried out and that none of them would know it was me when the time came.-

So Watson is his. Of course he is. It’s the best possible thing for the two of them.

-I bit down on my bottom lip. Strangely enough, there was only one place I wanted to be right now, and it was curled up with my head in Kat’s lap. I wasn’t sure what her response to me showing up at her front door was going to be, but I knew where I was headed as soon as all of this with Amelia was over-

Amelia: Watson looks like Myrick. There was no denying that as soon as he opened his eyes. The hazel shade is shared between them. ^I could only shake my head as I saw the look of relief on Del’s face when he read the papers. He wasn’t the father, so there was nothing to sign over. And I wasn’t sure if that was relief because he didn’t have to be responsible or if he could finally let Lin and Myrick go. He needed to.

I wasn’t going to pretend to understand what was going on with him. The only thing I knew was that he liked to run. I had been the same way before I met Cassi. Even when shit got hard, I didn’t run from her. She made me stay. And I was hoping that Del had finally found that in Katarina. I wasn’t ever going to begrudge him the opportunity to be happy.

But I was going to put that happiness on my terms.^ You’re free from New York, Del. Watson isn’t yours. Not unless you’re somehow related to Emily as well. Which I doubt. But my terms stand. You sell the house in New York. Get rid of it, and don’t even think about coming back. It took a lot of time for the two of them to be happy. And I’m not having you ruin it because you decided to come back on a whim. I don’t care if things with you and Miss Markova don’t work out. Pick a different city. And if she decides she wants to come to New York, you stay behind. I don’t care how big of a city it is, you know I’ll know the moment you step foot there. I’ll make it my job to come find you and hurt you.

^I stood from the table. I wasn’t going to waste any more of my time. I wasn’t even going to waste any more of his time. I knew it was time to get going. I had to work on the excuse I had given to Cassi. I needed to find the perfect wedding present for her. My mind started to wander as I thought about the perfect gift, and I knew I wasn’t going to find it in Paris.^ I have a flight to Italy to arrange. Go find Miss Markova, Del. Tell her what happened here. Tell her all of it. And maybe she’ll let you hang around with her just a little bit longer.

Del: -I watched her stand up, signalling for the waitress as soon as I’d given her a nod. I wasn’t hungry, and I hated myself more than anything at the moment. What I really wanted was to head over to Kat’s place and beg her not to be done with me because I was about the most useless thing I’d ever managed to run across in all my travels. Amelia had a point. I hadn’t followed through with anything in my life. I was pretty sure I was going to have to tone that down before I showed up on her front doorstep, but I knew I was going to take Amelia’s advice as soon as I got there.-

L’addition, s’il vous plait.

-I turned to her with another nod. Standing as the waitress handed me the bill and giving her a bill that covered the purchase and more than enough for a tip before I slid my hands into my pockets.-

I know I don’t get a say. I know I don’t have any right to anything, but all I can say is thank you for looking out for them, because fuck knows I wasn’t enough to do that. You don’t have to worry about me being in New York, trust me. I wouldn’t subject them to any more of myself than I needed to. You’ll be hearing from me. Well, maybe not me, but you’ll know it’s me even if no one else does.

-I didn’t wait for her reply before I walked out of the cafe and joined the bustle of people walking down the streets in the center of Paris. I knew where I was going, and it was a bit of a walk. Though, I wanted to clear my head before I just appeared unannounced at Kat’s front door. I had a lot to think about, more than I’d realized when I shown up here. I was tired of running away. I didn’t want to be that guy anymore, but the only person who could change that was me.

I had no idea how I was going to explain myself to Kat, or if she was just going to kick me out the minute she heard what all of this was about. I wouldn’t blame her. I’d have been wary of me too. I deserved that and probably worse. All I could do was try, though, and hope that this time, I didn’t screw everything entirely into the ground.-

#FallenNowIsBabylonTheGreat

[glamsweatsugar-blog]

I’ll Be Flying Free (SL with @FiredUpAndTired)

Amelia: ^I had done my research before I had made this decision. I didn’t just run into a decision. Especially not one like this. I didn’t just jump when I decided to hire someone to work with me. But this was different. And it wasn’t for anyone. This wasn’t a favor for Myrick or Lin. They had no fucking clue what I was working on. But I knew the truth. That girl was not going to survive living up in the Cape. And the sooner she could get out of there, the better.

When Myrick had told Cassi about what had happened at that fucking family dinner, I could feel myself starting to rage. No one deserved that, but it was exactly what both Cassi and I had gone through with our family. Well, the parts that we were related to by blood. These days, Cassi was my family. So was Lin and Myrick, even if I wasn’t sure I wanted to admit that. But Cassi loved the two of them. And I was happy that Lin had found Myrick. He made her happy. And she fucking deserved that shit.

There wasn’t much I could control. But I knew the truth. My lawyer was getting ready to retire. And I knew I needed someone to come in when he was gone. I didn’t hold a grudge about that. But I had been particular about who handled my business. And this wasn’t just about all of my personal family bullshit. This was about my businesses. Including the one I was getting ready to sign over to Lin. She had proven that she could handle running the shop. By bringing in the singer, she had shown that she knew she needed to take a step back to take care of Watson.

I rolled my eyes as the thought of that little boy. I wasn’t sure what had possessed her and Myrick to name their kid after me and my girl, but I wasn’t going to tell them no. It was what they wanted. And it wasn’t anything like what the Baines’ wanted. Which brought me to the next appointment I had.

I had been extremely careful in setting this interview up. I had Sydney handle everything. I needed her to handle it all. Because I didn’t want to hear the preferential treatment bullshit that people would say. I wanted Emily Baines to be the girl to take care of my business. It wasn’t because she was Myrick’s baby sister. It was because she was the top of her class at Harvard Law. It was because every one of her professors thought she was a star. It was because she had pissed off the firm she had interned at by declining their offer to join them if she passed the bar.

She had balls. That was evident in the way she handled herself at that disaster of a dinner. She was exactly what I thought she could be. So I had Sydney set up the interview. She told her the bare minimum about who it was with. For all I knew, Emily thought that the interview was going to be with Sydney. It didn’t matter to me. As long as the girl knew her shit.^

Emily: *I had no idea how I’d gotten called in for an interview for a job I hadn’t even applied for. I supposed it had come from being top of my graduating class. I’d been offered a job at the place I’d been interning during my classes at Harvard, but I couldn’t take the job. It had been everything I hadn’t wanted out of a law career, and I knew the job offer was only on the table because my last name was Baines. I wasn’t going to use my father’s name to earn myself any favors, especially not after the whole debacle at his birthday.

It wasn’t common knowledge that the Baines had disowned their youngest child. Mother wouldn’t have wanted that getting out to the world at large. It wouldn’t have looked good on their reputation, and it would have meant that they’d have to explain their reasoning. While there were plenty of families who would have agreed with their decision to cut out their lesbian daughter, those same families would have turned up their noses at the very thought that one of their daughters might turn out to be anything but straight baby factories who married a future senator and settled down with a collie and a white picket fence in a house on the Cape that was mortgaged within an inch of its life.

Instead, I was here, crashing in Cay’s room back at her and Teddy’s condo in Hell’s Kitchen, and catching a cab into the city to interview for a place I didn’t even know the name of. I had the name Sydney and an address. That was it. I wasn’t sure why things were so secretive, but I’d told Cay and Myrick I’d tell them about everything once all was said and done. To be honest, I was jumping at the chance to move here. It was the exact opposite of what Mother would have wanted for me, but that wasn’t the reason. Living in New York came with a family, not just my brother and his fiance, but there was also baby Watson along with Amelia, Cass, Lindsay and Wes. I knew my brother’s friend group would be a lot more welcoming than anything I’d had back in Connecticut.  

The drive there was uneventful, but it gave me a chance to get my head on straight since I didn’t have to focus on anything at all. I didn’t recognize the neighborhood the driver dropped me off in, but the street number I was looking for was easy enough to find. I’d been given instructions to use the door on the street and head up to the top of the stairs to find the office. I was so nervous that I didn’t even pay attention to the rest of the signs on the street. I just found the door I’d been told about and barrelled up the stairs-

Amelia: ^I’d given Emily instructions to just come up to the office. There were a small amount of people here getting the club ready for open, but Sydney knew I was expecting Emily. Everyone had been instructed to let her in and not ask questions. It was going to give away everything I had set up.

If Emily was anything like her brother, she was going to buck at the idea of being hired because she was a Baines. And that was part of the reason I had set this interview up for her. Cay hadn’t held back when she was telling Cassi about what had happened in Connecticut. It had been a shit show. And I knew that Emily was going to want to do everything in her power to get out of dodge.

I heard the knock on my office door before I looked at my watch. Emily was a little early. That was fine. I wanted her to be early. I needed to know that this was something she was serious about. If she wasn’t, I’d turn her away. But I had a feeling she was going to be very much like her brother. It was something I was looking forward to. Along with the look on everyone’s face when they were informed that Emily’s interview was with me. Not even Cassidy knew that piece of information.

My voice was stern as I called out to the woman standing on the other side of the door. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but I knew Emily wasn’t going to take this so easily when she realized I was the one that wanted her here.^ Come in if your name is Emily Baines. If it’s not, you’re risking your job by being up here.

Emily: *I thought I’d recognized the voice coming from the office, but it wasn’t until I let myself in that I was certain. Amelia Watson, the woman my nephew was named after, was sitting on the other side of the desk. I would have second guessed my skill at writing down addresses if I hadn’t known she was expecting me from the fact that she’d called out my name without ever seeing who it was. The person I’d spoken to on the phone was named Sydney, and from the way the conversation had been going, I’d half expected the interview to be with her. The fact that it was Amelia shocked the living hell out of me. I knew I froze in place as soon as I saw her, but I couldn’t really make myself move before I wrapped my head around what was happening.*

Well, hi. *I took a breath and tried to stop myself from laughing. If my interview was really with Amelia, I didn’t want to screw things up by just laughing in her face, even if it was my first response to feeling a little awkward. I choked it back down and took a step towards the desk*

I have to say I wasn’t exactly expecting this to be an interview with you of all people.

*Half of me wanted to think she was just doing this because of my brother. Maybe he even put her up to it. But from what I’d seen of Amelia during the time I’d been here, I figured she didn’t do things just because other people wanted her to.*

Amelia: Take a seat, Miss Baines. No one knows you’re in this office except my right hand woman, Sydney Crawford. She’s the one that contacted you for me. ^Pushing Emily’s school records to the side, I tilted my head as I watched her take a seat. I wanted all the information to be out on the table before we took a step further in this interview. We both had to be open about what was going on, and what I was expecting of her before we could truly get serious.^

If I had to guess, if I had reached out to you, you would have declined my offer for an interview. Our adorable little Lin has decided to name her son after me, so it would appear as though we’re family. And you don’t want anything to be handed to you. Especially because your last name is Baines. Your brother is the exact same way. But it would seem the best thing to have happened lately is that he bought Lin a condo. In a very round about way, it made you own up to who you were.

^Emily looked almost terrified as she sat across the desk from me. This wasn’t the girl I had been expecting to walk through my door. But I knew I had taken her off her game. She wasn’t prepared to be interviewing with me. And it was holding her back.^ The truth is that I think the best way to say fuck off to the Baines Family and everything they stand for is to come work for me. A lesbian that owns a sex toy shop that specializes in BDSM gear and a sex club. Your parents will hate it, and in turn maybe decide to disown Preppy Boy Daddy because he brought you down here. Best fucking result if you ask me.

Emily: *I could only laugh when she decided to tell me that she thought this was going to be the best fuck off possible to my family. She was right there, but I also didn’t want to get this job just because Amelia wanted to tell my parents to shove it. As nervous as I was, I wasn’t going to be able to stop myself from speaking up.*

I can’t tell you how much I’d like to tell Mr. and Mrs. Baines back in Hartford to shove it. Never mind how much I’d enjoy working for a successful self-made lesbian woman, but I’d be wrong if I told you I wanted a job just because of my last name, whether it was because someone owed my dad a favor, wanted to get in on his good side, or wanted to tell him to shove it right up his ass. I’d like to be able to say I got it because I’m the best person for the job. So tell me that’s what you want, and I’ll be happy to tell you exactly what I can do for you.

*Maybe I was being a little forward, but I was going to give Amelia the chance to hire me for what I really was and not just to make my brother happy or piss off my dad. That was it, plain and simple, and if she couldn’t handle me being a little sassy, then we probably weren’t going to work well together. I was naturally honest and blunt. That’s why it had hurt so much to have to lie to my parents all that time, and why it felt so freeing to finally tell them the truth about who I was. I needed Amelia to be just as good with who I was if she was going to hire me*

Amelia: Emily Sierra Baines. Top of her class at Harvard Law. She could have her choice of jobs. And, in fact, does have her choice of jobs. The current law firm has offered you a position with them. Of course, they’re itching to have you because of who your father is. And they want to get in good with your brother since we both know your father will be retiring sooner rather than later.

^I could only narrow my eyes at the woman across from me. I wanted to intimidate her a bit. This wasn’t about being her brother’s friend. This wasn’t about being someone she could be close to. This was about a job.^ I only hire the best. Lin is the best person to run Temptations. Sydney is the best at running Trinity. Sydney is also the best at doing what I need done.

^Pushing back from the desk, I just looked at her. I had no desire to bullshit Emily. I was going to tell her the truth regardless of if she wanted to hear it.^ Myrick and Lin are aware that you have an interview in the city. You’ve been staying with them. I am well aware. Neither one of them asked me to call you. Neither one realizes that I’m hiring a new lawyer. I’m not interviewing you for your name. I’m not telling you that I think you should take this opportunity to piss off your parents. I’m telling you that by taking this job, it will piss off your parents.

^Shaking my head, I let my arms fold across my chest. I wasn’t going to chase her, though. I could give her the facts and let her do whatever she wanted with them.^ I’m prepared to pay you top dollar, Emily. Enough to live in this city and flourish without you ever having to touch your trust fund. You’d be on retainer with me. I’d also convince Myrick to use you as his lawyer as well. Any free time you have, you can use as you wish. However, if you take this job, you’ll be required to take one pro bono case a month. This is my neighborhood, Miss Baines. I take care of it in every way that I can. Even if it means lending out my lawyer to families that are in trouble. The decision is yours. Take it or leave it. But know, if you leave it, it won’t come back again. Regardless of how much I like you or your brother. I don’t do favors when my livelihood is on the line.

Emily: *It took me a moment to figure out whether Amelia meant that as a job offer or not, but after she finished the whole thing about me being on retainer and taking on a pro bono case, there was no way I was going to say no. It wasn’t that I thought this was going to be an easy job. I’d have to be available to Amelia whenever she needed me with those conditions. I didn’t know her as well as I would have liked to, but I knew that Cay trusted her. That carried a lot of weight with me. I believed her when she told me she didn’t risk her business on favors. She wouldn’t have gotten far if she made a habit of that. I knew that much. I needed the job, and having one I could be proud of that gave me the opportunity to tell my parents they could shove it meant a lot. Not having to touch my trust fund to live off of meant a lot too.  It meant I would really be able to say that I was making it on my own for the first time in my life, and it took away any power, real or imagined, that my parents or any of the rest of my family could say that they had over me.

On top of that, it gave me the opportunity to live in the city near the few people in the world I could really say that I cared about. The combination of things was something I wasn’t going to be able to turn down. However, I wasn’t going to accept it without a few conditions. I glanced over at the woman across the desk from me, trying to make my expression as serious as I could make it*

I believe you. I just want to make a couple of requests. First one has to do with the pro bono cases. I’ll be happy to take anything you want me to, but I’d also like to take on a few of my own, when I find things I think are worthy of my time. I won’t let them eat into your business, but I believe in taking care of my community as much as you seem to.

The second one is that you and Cassidy help me find a place to live here in the city. My brother and Cay already have to much on their plates between the new baby and everything else that that’s happening. I won’t take up more space in their lives than I have to. I need my own space, and I know they need theirs. A few days in their spare room is fine, but I’m not going to crash on them longer than I have to.

Amelia: ^Her terms were easy enough. I was never going to tell her to not take pro bono cases. It was actually something I was glad she was negotiating on. And the fact that she was willing to have my business as a priority was what I really needed to hear. And her second term wasn’t that hard, either. There was the same option that we had given Lin. And it also made things a little bit easier on her and Myrick. Giving Emily this option made sense. And it prevented Myrick, Lin, or Lindsay from being here when they couldn’t, or shouldn’t, be.

I nodded my head as I watched the woman across from me. I wasn’t sure what I was going to tell Cass, but it was something she was going to agree with me on. And she was going to lose her mind because I was expanding our tiny family into something she had always dreamed of.^

When Lin first came to us, she was homeless. Cassidy and I took her in and gave her a home. Literally. And she lived there until she met your brother. It’s a place that we still have. Well, until I give you your first job. There’s an apartment above the shop. It’s just a small studio, but it’s a place that you can stay until you find a place to live. And if you want help with that, I would talk to Cassi. She’s the one that decorated the apartment above the shop. But you’re going to have to help Lin, Myrick, and Lindsay out. Right now, one of those three stays in the apartment on nights where we get a shipment for either the club or the shop. As long as you’re living there, you have to be the one to receive the shipments. Someone will come in in the morning and handle the rest.

As for your pro bono stipulation, I’m just telling you to take one case a month at minimum. I’m not going to stop you from taking more. Just as long as you don’t risk my businesses. I’ll pay you a retainer monthly. Even if I don’t use you that month, you’ll still get your retainer. But before any of this happens, you have to pass the bar in New York. You have about two months until you can take it, so I suggest you register for it now.

Emily: *Two months. It would take me just about that long to get things settled in the place I was living now and make arrangements to move to the city. Maybe it was presumptuous of me to think I was going to pass the bar on my first try. I knew it was a difficult test, but my brother had passed it, and if that was possible, then I knew it was well within my grasp to do.*

I’ll register as soon as I get back to Cay and Teddy’s place. I don’t think that’s going to be a problem, and two months gives me time to get moved to the city and settled in. I don’t have a problem with any of the terms or the apartment over the shop. It’ll be nice to help them out as I can. Plus, if it gets back to my parents that I’m living in an apartment over a sex shop, I’m pretty sure my mother will have a stroke, so it’s just another plus.

*I shook my head and laughed a little at myself. I was only partly joking, but I felt like an ass for saying it out loud. This job interview might not have been what I was expecting, but it was turning out to be exactly what I hadn’t known I needed. Getting out of Connecticut was going to be a dream come true, and I owed it to Amelia.*

I don’t know how to say thank you for this. I know you say I earned it, but I still owe you a lot if this all pans out.

Amelia: It’ll pan out, Emily. You just need to have some faith. If you want, there’s a hallway between the club and the shop. You can go ahead through and check out your new place to live. I know Lin isn’t there, but Myrick might be. He is probably helping out Lindsay. I know she’s still relatively new to the store. Myrick doesn’t like to leave his girls alone if he has to. And I know Cass was on her way over to Lin and Watson when you were on your way here.

^I had given Cassi the okay to go see Lin. She had been dying to go see the baby, but I had wanted to give the two of them time to settle in before sending Cassi over. I knew Cassi could be a lot to handle. And Cassi going over would give Myrick the chance to get out of the house and come check on the shop. Knowing Lin the way I did, I figured she would send Myrick out to check up on the shop.

There was a lot I was planning for with Emily. And the first thing I was going to have her do was draw up the papers to pass ownership of Little Shoppe of Temptations to Lin. She had more than proven herself to be capable of handling the shop. It had only grown since she had come into it. She opened up the shop to a whole new set of customers because of her being a Little. It was something I kind of loved. She had opened our lives to a whole new set of people because of her desires. It was something I was proud to do.^

Your Teddy doesn’t know you’re here. So tell him before word gets out. The world will find out as soon as I tell Cassi what happened here. I had to keep it from her to ensure that no one knew what was happening. I wanted you to know that this wasn’t as a favor. I did my research, Miss Baines. I knew who you were before I had Sydney reach out to you. I was well aware of your grades and the other opportunities before bringing you in. You deserve this. You just need to take the opportunity and prove me right.

Emily: *I nodded as I stood up from the desk. The truth was that Teddy was the first person I wanted to tell all of this to. He was the last bit of family I cared about, and the only one I’d been certain cared about me for who I really was and not what I could bring to the family. I had to admit I was a little nervous about all of this working out. It seemed almost too good to be true that all of this had fallen into my lap. Maybe Amelia hadn’t offered me this job because of my brother, I knew she was right that I had the grades and the work behind them to have earned the job, but she wouldn’t have even known I existed without Myrick. I owed him at least a bit for introducing the two of us, and maybe a lot to sheer luck for her finding out everything she needed to know about me.

I was quickly learning not to underestimate my new boss. She had a lot of resources within her grasp, at least enough to find me and find out everything she needed to know about me. She could probably have learned a lot more if she’d wanted to find it out, but she seemed to be fair and have her head on straight. All I could do was buckle in for whatever was coming up and be prepared for whatever came my way.*

I’ll walk over and get him to show me the apartment. Feel free to tell Cassidy whenever you like. I don’t mind the people in my life knowing now that things are settled. So, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll start getting things ready for the bar exam as soon as I possibly can.

*I had to admit that she’d been smart not to tell me who I was interviewing with before I walked in the place. I might not have accepted the opportunity before I walked into the office if I’d even imagined it was as a favor to my brother. Maybe it was stupid; maybe I was insanely stubborn, but I needed to work things out on my own merit as much as I possibly could. I knew Teddy would know what that felt like.

As soon as I was out of the door, I pulled my phone out of my pocket looking for the next administration of the New York Bar Exam and figured out I had exactly four days left to register for the July test. Freezing in place in the hallway to the shop, I went ahead and registered for the exam and waited for the ding of the confirmation email before I dared to move another step. There was no way I was risking any of this now that it had fallen into my lap. The rest of this was up to me*

#IllBeFlyingFree

[glamsweatsugar-blog]

When Your World Is Caving In (SL with @aLittleBitNice, @SinfulMyrick, and @DayDividesNight)

Cay: ^There was a lot going on. And I was drowning. But I wasn’t entirely sure I could tell anyone. Daddy and I had barely talked about what had happened. I knew it was bothering him as much as it bothered me. And we both felt like we were to blame. I knew my Daddy. I knew that he was going to beat himself up when this wasn’t his fault. It was mine. I was supposed to be fair to both of them. I was supposed to spend time with both of them. But the truth was that the shop tended to bore Del more than Daddy. Daddy knew how to occupy himself. He needed a notebook and a pencil to occupy his time. That wasn’t who Del was. And I didn't begrudge him that. The problem came on the nights where we were all in the house together. It was naturally easier for me to curl up in Daddy’s lap than to go to Del. I didn’t have to explain to Daddy what I needed, he knew. He spent the most time with me in the shop. He knew how my day went. He knew when I was closing myself off to everything around us. It was never that I didn’t try to include Del. It was just that running through the motions in preparing to own the shop was taking everything out of me. And then there was the baby. I had so many questions about what was going to happen. There was still the possibility that the baby was Del’s. And he had left without a word. There was no way to contact him, and that terrified me. What happened if the baby was his? He wouldn’t be able to run from me. But Daddy was going to protect me at all costs. There was still a fifty/fifty chance that the baby was Daddy’s. And even if he wasn’t the biological father, he’d still be a dad to it. I just didn’t know what was going to happen. And that terrified me more than anything else. I didn’t know how to bring up the subject of Del leaving with anyone. I knew I could talk to Cassidy about it. She’d be open to listening, and she’d get pissed at Del. It wasn’t just about hurting me, but he had also hurt Daddy. And Cassidy and Daddy were closer than I could have ever imagined. It was something I loved. He was too nurturing for his own good. He’d always take care of anyone that needed it. And while Cassidy had Mellie, Daddy took care of her in a way she needed. But today was no different than any other day since Del had left. I could feel myself on the edge of an emotional breakdown. Daddy would ask what was wrong, and I shrug him off. It was nothing. Just hormones. It was quickly becoming an excuse that was overused. But I didn’t know what else to tell him. How did you tell the person you loved that your heart was breaking? I couldn’t breathe, and I stole minutes in the office just to let the tears fall. I couldn’t let Daddy see how broken I was. I had to be strong for him. Because I knew this was killing him as much as it was killing me.^ Myrick: -I watched as Cay piddled around the shop, but I could tell she looked lost. And I knew just how she felt. I had drawing to distract me when things got to be too much, but she didn’t always have that luxury, so I tried to let her have her space. I knew she escaped off to the office to have a breath from time to time, and when she returned, her eyes would be red, and puffy. But I didn’t push her. We both had a lot to work our way through. That didn’t stop me from asking how she was, and I pretended to buy the hormone excuse. I knew that had it’s part to play in how she was feeling, but I didn’t have that excuse. I hadn’t known what made him leave, though I’d read Del’s note over and over again since we found it. I’d known him for years, and I still didn’t understand him, even in the slightest. He was gone. I couldn’t contact him, his phone didn’t work, and I didn’t even know where he might have gone. I blamed myself, but I blamed him too. I planned to take care of Cay no matter what happened. My girl, and the baby in her stomach had become my world. I didn’t care whether it was mine or Del’s, both of them were mine, and I was going to treat them like that no matter what happened. Something was going to have to change, but I wasn’t entirely certain what. And I felt like a failure for not being able to fix this for her. All I could do was be here for me when and if she decided that she was going to tell me how this really affected her. She’d slept in my arms every night since then, curled into my chest while I kept her snuggled close under the sheets. Leo was always curled up at her feet. It had only been a few days, but it felt like everything had changed, even in that short time.- Lia: ^I didn’t know what the hell was going on. I knew there was something, but both Cay and Myrick were good at hiding everything. It also didn’t help that both Cassi and I were taking a more hands off approach to the store lately. Once Cay’s pregnancy was out, everything fell into place. And it wasn’t long after that I asked Cassi to marry me. And that was all I needed in my life. As long as my girl was happy, I was happy. And right now, she wanted to put on another BDSM night at the club. But this was going to be different. She wanted it to be a completely safe place to scene. I still didn’t know what she was going on about. Her talks with Myrick were giving her some ideas, and I allowed her to let it happen. The club was her baby. I just gave it to her. It was the only role I wanted. I kept her in check when her dreams were too high, but I let her do what she wanted most of the time. And this was what she wanted. I had checked out when she started explaining everything to me, though. The only thing I was sure of was that she wanted the trio involved. She wanted them to all take their place on the stage. They all needed to do something. I had to remind her that Cay was pregnant, and if she wasn’t comfortable, she didn’t have to do it. As soon as we were in the shop, it was like everything stopped. Cay looked like she was about to break down into tears, and Myrick was just fucking frozen behind the counter. I didn’t know what the hell was going on, but Cay’s greeting was complete and utter shit.^ You look like you haven’t slept in a week. And Cassi has a question for you guys when you get a chance. Cassi: *I was behind Lia when she walked into the shop, but I could hear the tone in her voice when she greeted both of them. It made me quicken my step and pop into the room maybe a little unexpectedly. She wasn’t wrong. Cay looked like shit, and Myrick didn’t look any better. I didn’t know what was wrong, but I was already frowning. My hands went to my hips of their own accord as I looked between both of them. Lia wasn’t going to pry, but I was. These two were my family, and I’d be damned if I was going to have them silently miserable.* What the fuck is even going on? *knitting my brows together was a habit I’d had since I was little, and I wasn’t going to stop it any time soon, even though I knew it made me look ridiculous when I was trying to be serious.* And don’t even try to tell me it’s nothing. I can see you both, I know you both, and I know you’re both miserable about something. Tell me who I have to kick directly in the face. *I didn’t know what either of them was about to say, but I knew I was going to jump to the defensive and take their sides no matter what had happened. They were my people and I was going to defend my people even if it just meant me bitching and whining on their behalf.* Cay: ^My eyes were wide as Mellie and Cass walked in the door. They both were right on with the fact that we weren’t sleeping. We weren’t talking, either. There was a lot of nothing going on with me and Daddy. But we didn’t exactly know what to do with each other. There was too much doubt and hurt. And neither one of us could figure out how to vocalize that. At least, that was what I assumed. Bringing my hand to my neck, I felt my fingers wrap around the tiny lock around my neck. The rose gold chain was a big change from the leather and lace collar I had been wearing. But with Del leaving, I couldn’t bring myself to put it around my neck. It wasn’t the same. But I couldn’t stop the tears from falling as Cass asked about who had hurt us. She didn’t know what she was asking, and I knew that. I also knew that her and Lia were not going to be expecting the answer. I couldn’t stop the sobs that slipped from my chest as I thought about what was about to happen. Lia was going to kill Del, there was no doubt in my mind. She was too protective of me. And I knew that with Del leaving, she was hurt. She understood a part of him that no one else got to see. I couldn’t look up at Daddy, either. I couldn’t bear to see the look on his face. Not with me breaking down. It was something I hadn’t exactly done. I hadn’t let him see this part of my pain. It hurt him to see me this way. I knew that. It was why I kept all of my breakdowns in the office. I couldn’t bear to put him through this kind of torture. My head just shook from side to side as I tried to get myself to calm down. I wasn’t going to be able to answer the question. It was something I just couldn’t do.^ Myrick: -I could see her break when Cassi just blurted out what was in her head. It was one of the endearing things about the girl I was quickly coming to think of as a sister, but also one of the things that could make being around her hard when you weren’t necessarily in a good place. I knew she didn’t mean to do anything, didn’t mean to bring up anything that hurt Cay or to widen the cracks in the fragile facade that she’d put up. But she had. Maybe that was what the two of us needed. We’d been dancing around the issue for far too long. We were stuck; we had been since he walked out the door, and we had to do something. Neither of us knew what to do. I knew Cay wasn’t going to be able to answer Cassi’s question or the look on Lia’s face. That meant it was my job to do it. She was absolutely broken, and I was a little useless to fix her. I needed help, and the only two I could think of were Lia and Cass. Cay had stopped wearing her collar. I’d noticed, but I hadn’t said anything. She was wearing the necklace I’d bought her the week after I’d made my first appearance at the shop, though. I got the whole collar thing. There were too many memories of all three of us tied up in that scrap of leather and lace for her to put it around her throat every day. It must have felt like it was choking the life out of her. I would have felt the same way. It was strange enough to wake up in the house I’d shared with him every day. I cleared my throat, though I still choked on the words as they came up, my voice strained from disuse. I hadn’t spoken to anyone since I’d gotten up this morning, though this was the first time I’d realized it.- Del… He’s gone. -I took a deep breath and let it out. My chest ached like I’d been lifting weights all morning, though the only weight on it was actually vocalizing what had been going on with the two of us to anyone.- We don’t know where, or really why. He left a note. But that’s it. -I glanced over at Cay, and I couldn’t stop myself from getting up out of the chair to pull her into my arms and crush her into my chest. I needed her there in my arms as much as she needed it right now, even if she didn’t ask for it. Burying my nose in the halo of red hair that surrounded her as I pulled her in tight, I pressed a kiss to the crown of her head as I murmured in a voice soft enough for only the two of us.- I’m sorry, Baby Love. Lia: ^I wanted to kill him. The pain was written on both of them. And it was the one thing I had warned him about. They couldn’t find him, but I could. I had my resources, and I would jump on it. Del was going to answer for this. That was the one thing I could do for the two of them. I wasn’t going to bring him back to them, though. Myrick and Cay deserved so much better than this. This wasn’t going to be that kind of situation. Del was going to answer to me. It was a promise I made him when I first came to visit him in his townhouse. My eyes went wide as I realized what that meant. Myrick and Cay were either still in that house, or they were staying in the apartment. I doubted they were upstairs, though. I hadn’t heard steps from the golden retriever I knew belonged to Myrick. The only option was the house. Which wasn’t healthy for them. But it wasn’t my place to step on their toes about where they wanted to live. I knew they had a lot to work out, though. The way Cay was crying, and the way Myrick was clinging to her was like they hadn’t done a damn thing since Del had left. It wouldn’t surprise me with Cay. She didn’t always know how to get everything out. She liked to bottle everything up because it wasn’t anyone else’s responsibility to worry about anything that was wrong with her. I wanted to shake her and tell her to rely on Myrick. He was going to make it work for them. But I knew he was hurting, too. This didn’t just affect Cay. It affected Myrick just as much. Walking to the back, I grabbed one of the bottles of water in the cooler between the shop and the club. I needed to get Cay to calm down, and water needed to go into her body. She needed to keep the baby in mind. I knew the baby was going to be a factor. No one knew who it belonged to, but I knew the truth. The baby would always be Myrick’s. It didn’t matter if Del was the biological father. Myrick was going to take care of her and the baby. Walking back to the counter, I placed the water on the counter.^ Drink. You need to calm down. I understand you’re upset about what he did, but there is one thing that is more important than even your feelings. There’s a child that didn’t ask for any of this stress. Take care of the baby first. Calm yourself down. Cassi: *I sat there with my mouth open for a moment. I needed to process what was going on. I had absolutely no doubt that Lia was going to murder Del the moment she ever saw him again. I didn’t blame her for that. But I just wanted to wrap Cay and Myrick up in bubble wrap and keep them in my pocket so nothing could ever hurt them or that baby ever again. He was wrapped up around her already, and I had to fight the urge to go squeeze them both to the best of my ability. I was tiny compared to him, and he was going to do a much better job of holding her together than I ever could. I just walked over and rested my head on Lia’s shoulder as Myrick took the bottle of water from her hand, twisting the top off before giving it to Cay. I needed the two of them to be ok as much as I needed Lia and me to be ok. They really were my family, all the family I had in the world. And I felt like an asshole for just walking into the room and blurting out what I did. I hadn’t exactly been the one to hurt Cay, but I’d poked at a wound without realizing it.* I’m sorry, guys. I just… *I didn’t know what to say so I just fell back on the only thing I really knew how to say.* I’m sorry. I love you both. Cay: ^There was so much to say, and nothing to say at the same time. There was so much going through my mind, that I wasn’t sure I could focus. I knew I was wrapped up in Daddy, though. And as much as it didn’t feel like it, I knew that everything would be okay. I slowly started sipping at the water that had been handed to me. I didn’t know what to say, though. I didn’t know how to respond to the I’m sorries that were starting to come. It wasn’t anything that Myrick or Cass had done. It was me. I hadn’t been good enough for him. I wasn’t trained well enough for him. I had done something wrong. I was to blame here. But I couldn’t focus on that. Those were the thoughts I had in the middle of the night. Those were the thoughts my nightmares were made of. And now was not the time to give them energy.^ You said you wanted to ask us something? Myrick: -I glanced up at Cass without a word. I knew Cay wasn’t going to say anything. I didn’t know if there was anything to say, or if talking was just going to make things worse. It was like walking a tightrope, unsure of what was going to make the both of us go toppling over the edge. I was going to try to hold the two of us together to the best of my abilities. That’s all I really could do. I had no way of knowing was Cass was going to ask the two of us. Hopefully it was something that would at least our minds off the back and forth monotony of trying to live daily life without talking about the biggest thing that had happened to the two of us lately.- Cassi: *I watched the two of them for the moment until Cay spoke, glad that they had each other at least. They were going to get through this. I was going to make sure of it. The two of them deserved to be happy, and they deserved it together. Hopefully, the idea I’d come up with would be something to keep their minds off of all of this.* I wanted to do another theme night at the club, and I wanted you to participate in it. Both of you actually. *My original intention had been for the three of them to be on stage as part of the evening, but the two of them were more than enough. I needed them to be there. I wanted them to be a part of everything. The two of them were absolutely in love, that much was clearly obvious to anyone who was looking. It was just nice to look at. They were just what I wanted for the night in the club to be perfect.* Lia: ^I could see the hesitation written on Myrick’s face. I knew he wasn’t going to immediately jump on board. It was going to take some time for him and Cay to talk it through. It was absolutely something I wanted the two of them to do, especially knowing that they were alone. They were going to isolate themselves if they stayed in that house without Del. It wasn’t something I wanted for them. I wanted them to work it out. I could see the hopeful look on Cassi’s face. She wanted them to be okay. She needed it to happen. I wasn’t surprised. She loved the two of them. Myrick was her big brother, and Cay had been her best friend since the moment they met. It was my job to make sure that Cassi got whatever made her happy. But I knew this was going to be something that was delicate. It wouldn’t be an answer we could have right away.^ The night that Cassi wants to do is, of course, another BDSM night. The last one was a success, and Cay handled it beautifully. This time, we want to add a little something to it. Before, it was free reign on the floor as long as there was consent. This time, we’d like to add a few scenes up on the stage. And Cass was hoping the two of you would take a slot on the main stage. It would be up to the two of you to decide what you want. As far as the rest of the night, Cay I was hoping you could reach out to a few of the other Doms that come in and out of here on a daily basis. See if you can get some of them to perform as well. It’ll be a thing that goes on all night. And we’d love to have the two of you host. ^Clearing my throat, I let my eyes focus on Myrick. He needed to hear this as much as I needed to say it. It was my way of acknowledging their relationship for what it was.^ I know this isn’t your scene. I know you’d much rather be home with her in your lap all night. But I think it’ll be good for the two of you. And I couldn’t ask just Cay to do it. Not when she’s your Baby Love. She’d be in front of Doms all night, and she’d have to interact with them. I would never dream of insisting she do it without you. Take some time to think about it. Talk it over. Cassi and I are just toying with the idea right now. Feel free to say no. ^Wrapping my arm around my girl’s hip, I pulled her into my side and pressed a kiss to her temple. There was stuff we needed to do for this wedding, and I wanted to give Myrick and Cay the chance to talk about the idea. I wasn’t sure how they were going to take it, but it was opening a door. We were giving them something else to focus on. Without so much as another word, I was pulling my girl out of the shop she had once loved.^ Cay: ^I could only blink as Cass and Mellie left. It was like they knew we needed something else to talk about. Maybe it would lead to us talking about what was going on, but for now, it was something different to focus on. We didn’t have to talk about the fact that Del was gone. We could plan this entire night. But I was nervous. The last time I had been in the club, I met Del. And from there, I met Daddy. It wasn’t going to be easy putting myself back in that position, but I could do it. As long as I had Daddy next to me. But I knew the truth. He wasn’t going to want to do this. He was going to want to stay at home with Leo. I didn’t blame him. Daddy was a homebody. It was something I liked. I didn’t have to pretend to be sick. I could stay home with him. Taking a breath, I let my eyes focus on the man who was holding me together. He wanted nothing more than to take care of me. And I was shutting him out. But I didn’t know what else to do. Was there anything to do? We could talk. We needed to talk, but I wasn’t sure we were ready to go down that road. I could feel myself starting to slip so my words were soft as I tried to keep my emotions at bay.^ This is your call, Daddy. I know clubbing isn’t really your scene. I don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. I could just host for the night. I’ll wear a collar so it’s evident that I’m taken, but don’t feel like you need to do this. Myrick: -Cay knew me. She knew my idea of a good night was being curled up on the couch with my dog and my Little Girl. But there was no way I was going to leave her to host a night at the club on her own. I hadn't ever done a scene in front of anyone. Well, anyone other than the person I was working with. I didn't even think I'd been in the club when it was open. But with her, it was something I’d be willing to try. Honestly, it was only with her that I’d be able to do it, to shut out the fact that we were surrounded by other people and focus on the fact that it was just the two of us together. And I knew it was something the two of us needed; at least we needed to focus on something other than the fact that the house we were in seemed ridiculously empty at the moment. Planning this night would give us something to talk about, something to do rather than sulk. We had to talk, maybe not about Del at first, but talking was something we desperately needed. I could only press a soft kiss to the top of her head before pulling away slightly- I want to do this together. With you. If you want me here. Cay: ^I wasn’t entirely sure how to take his answer. I knew the truth. This wasn’t his first choice for a night. Daddy would have rather spent the night with me on the couch or cuddled in bed. But the truth had to have been written on my face. I needed to think about something besides our life. I needed distracted. I needed to be away from this. I couldn’t begin to delve into those emotions. I wasn’t entirely ready for it. And the truth was that I was only going to do it if he wanted to be there with me. I wasn’t sure I could do it without him. I needed him by my side in all of this. I was barely keeping it together on a good day. And if I was going to be surrounded by Doms, I was going to need him to hold me together.^ You know we can just host the night, we don’t have to scene if you’re not comfortable with it. I’m not even sure how you feel about letting others see me that way. ^It was something we hadn’t ever really talked about. But it was something we needed to address now. I knew how I felt about it, though. I wanted to people to see me with him. I wanted to prove to others that I knew how to please my Daddy. I needed to prove that I was good enough for him. I needed to be good enough for him. I couldn’t help the spiral I had been in lately. And Daddy didn’t hold that against me. I hadn’t felt like I was good enough for anyone since Del had left. I wasn’t the perfect girl I had been told I was. I didn’t know how to come to terms with that. What I did know was that I needed to be good enough for Daddy. I needed to be able to please him. I needed him to show me off to the world. But it wasn’t something I was ever going to push him on.^ Please tell me no if you don’t want to do this. Myrick: -I could only tug her closer in the moment. I knew she needed this, and it was in my power to give it to her. So it was a simple answer on my part. Planting a small kiss on the crown of her head as I tugged her closer. It wasn’t something I’d ever done in my life, but it was something I was willing to try, especially if she was with me. Actually, only if she was with me. There was no one else I was ever going to be able to do this with except her. Pulling away to plant a soft kiss on her lips before I cupped her chin and brought her gaze up to meet mine.- I’m not telling you no. You’re my Little Girl, and showing the world that is something I think we ought to do. -smiling as I rested my forehead against hers. Del had disappeared without a word, and left the two of us in shreds. This was the first step in building that back up, in showing her she was more than enough for me, and in showing the world that she was mine. We could hide away back at the townhouse and slowly disintegrate until there was nothing left of the two of us. Or we could take this kind of step and do something that brought us together. I was picking the latter. I needed to fight for the two of us, and I needed her to have something to keep her mind on, a way to know that she was worth all of this and more. I could tell her, and I tried, but showing her was going to be the best way I could handle this- Cay: ^I wanted to bring up what had happened. I wanted to talk about it. I needed to talk about it, but I wasn’t sure if Daddy wanted that. And for now, the best thing was to keep it locked away. I knew it was eating at the two of us. This was not something we needed to be avoiding. But avoiding was a game I played well. I still didn’t know if I should go through with this. I didn’t want to force Daddy into doing anything, but I also knew that I wasn’t forcing him. Just because he said yes now did not mean he was going to mean it later, and I was okay with that. I also knew that he was giving this to me because I needed something to focus on. I wasn’t sure where I was going to start, but I knew I could give into the opportunity to do this. The only thing that was going through my head was that I needed to take care of the baby. I couldn’t stress too much over anything, but I could lean on Daddy. Over the past few months, he had proven that he had my back when no one else seemed to care.^ I know you’re doing this for me. And I appreciate it more than you know. I love you, Daddy. ^I bit my bottom lip as I thought about what I was going to say next. I knew what needed to be said. I knew he needed to hear it just as much as I needed to say it. But I still wasn’t sure how to move on from this. I just knew that we needed to.^ There’s not a lot I can say right now. I know we’re both dancing around the issue. But I love you. And I just hope I’m enough for you. Because I don’t feel like I’m good enough for anyone. I don’t know how to be enough for anyone. Being myself got me hurt. And I don’t know where to go. Myrick: -I knew exactly what she meant, and I’d been through that moment myself. I had a hard time wrapping my head around my feelings and an even harder time letting myself have the things I wanted. I’d taken a long time to come to terms with the fact that I might return the feelings Del had claimed to have for me, and then he was gone. Like that, without a single word, nothing other than a note with a sorry excuse for a goodbye. I knew what it felt like to blame yourself for that, to feel like what you were offering wasn’t enough to make someone stay. Del had just been the last in a line of people who I’d never been enough for that stretched all the way back to my parents. I couldn’t let that stop me from trying though. If I did, I was going to lose the last things I had left, Cay and the baby. I was going to hold on to the two of them with everything I had left in me. And I was going to make sure that I was everything that the two of them needed, because they were most certainly everything that I could ever imagine wanting. We needed to talk this out, but I didn’t know if this was the time or not. I did know that the time was coming, sooner or later, when we weren’t going to be able to avoid this conversation, and I was going to be there for that too. For now, I let the smile that I really felt go across my face when she said she loved me. I believed her. And I felt precisely the same. - You’re more than enough for me. Trust me, Baby Love. You’re more than I ever thought I’d find. I adore you. I know how it feels to not be enough, and to be afraid to be yourself. But I’m here, we’re here together. I’m going to be right here until we figure this out together. -I couldn’t help but wrap my arms around her and bring Cay crushing gently into my chest, pulling her into a hug that I wasn’t willing to let her out of soon. I needed her here. And it was getting late. She needed her rest.- So why don’t we go home and take a night to ourselves? It’s almost time to close the shop and Amelia won’t kill me for closing up fifteen minutes early tonight, not after that conversation. So we take you and this baby home and get everyone comfy. God knows, we both need the rest, so does the baby. -leaning down to steal another kiss- Besides, I need to get my Little Girl in my arms for the night. -I barely waited for the nod of assent from her before I stole a kiss and set about the business of preparing the shop to close for the night, moving to lock the till up in the safe, deciding to let it wait to be counted in the morning when we returned in exchange for getting my girl and the baby home all the more quickly. I needed her there as much as I felt like she needed to be there. The two of us needed each other, even if she thought I didn’t need her as much as she needed me. It was one of the few things she was dead wrong about, and I intended to show her that back at home- #WhenYourWorldIsCavingIn

[glamsweatsugar-blog]

Stars Are Falling All For Us (SL with @aLittleBitNice)

Lia: ^The ride home from the club had been almost silent. That was rare for me and Cassi. There was always something to talk about. One of us had an idea for another theme night, or something had happened at the club or the shop. Tonight was different. Something major had happened at the shop, but the big question mark was how was it going to affect us. I could see the excitement radiating off of my girl, though. She wanted nothing but the best for Cay. She couldn’t wait to spoil the baby. There was no way Cassi was going to be able to tell it no.

But I could feel the wheels rolling through my head. I was happy for Cay. She was getting everything that she wanted. She had two partners that supported her. They wanted to be with her, and they would take care of her. I had always known Myrick would. Del was the trickier of the two. He had been so absorbed in his head. But he had come around. And from the look of the three of them, they were all in it together. Good. Cay was going to need both of them to survive. Especially if she was found by the poor excuse she has of a family in Philly. I knew the truth, though. Cassi, Myrick, and Del would do anything to protect the girl. Even I’d walk to the ends of the Earth for her.

But I wasn’t sure where this was going to leave us with the shop. I knew Del was planning on moving her into the townhouse as fast as possible. But Cay, of course, had the solution. The guys were on board with helping her out. Del would fill in for Cay with her responsibilities at the club, while Myrick would help out at the shop. It certainly fit their personalities more. I still had a hard time imagining Myrick walking into the club. He seemed too preppy boy Daddy to just come in and have a drink. He just seemed like the kind of guy who would rather be home wrapped up with his girl.

Cassi was inclined to give them everything. She didn’t care. She trusted Myrick. He had very quickly become her big brother. And he indulged her just as much. I still worried that Cassi trusted too easily. But as long as she was happy, I didn’t care. My life’s goal had been to make her happy. Ever since the moment I met her in that coffee shop. We were all each other needed. We had been all each other had for so long, though. And with one little redhead, our family had quickly expanded because Cassi wanted it to be bigger.

I felt myself come out of my head as my hand was tugged on gently by my girl. I could see the look on her face. She wanted me to open my mouth and talk. She wanted to know what was going through my mind. She hated when things bothered me. She wanted to make it better. Bringing her hand to my lips, I pressed a soft kiss into the skin. This was right, though. Her next to me made it okay. It made my decision so much easier.^ Our little girl is growing up, Cassi. She’s come a long way since she walked into your shop a year ago. I hate to admit that I’m proud of her.

Cassi: *I couldn’t help but smile as Lia’s lips found my hand and finally spoke. Riding in silence was something I wasn’t used to, though generally speaking, I’d have filled the silence with chatter. It was a shock that Cay was pregnant, but I didn’t know why I hadn’t expected it eventually. The timing was quick for the three of them, but I had faith that they would all figure it out. And I was going to be right here to help until they did. Lucky enough, the boys didn’t have jobs of their own at the moment. Bringing them into the club and the shop to cover for Cay was going to be simple enough. Two people to do the job of one, and even with their inexperience, they should be able to pull it off. I’d be there to help teach them the ropes, so would Lia until they got the hang of things.

A whole little family was coming together, bringing people in piece by piece until I put it all together. It was exactly intentional.  I was half adopting people I wanted in my life and half letting the pieces fall into place as they may. The one thing that was more important to me than anything in all of this was the hand that was threaded in mine.

When they broke the news to us, my first thought had been of her. Cay and Del had pulled her into one room while Myrick kept me in the other. The man who was quickly becoming a brother to me broke the news and I squealed, probably loud enough for all of the others to hear me in the next room. But I was immediately worried about her reaction to all of it. I knew I was going to have fun, spoiling the baby as much as Cay would allow, and probably more than she knew. Lia was going to panic about the store and the club. Cay’s idea to let them help out around the place was perfect, even if I knew that Lia was going to be skeptical about it until it all worked out.

We were opposites that way, me trusting far too easily that everything would be alright and she holding out until too late at times, keeping things at arm’s distance until she was absolutely certain she wasn’t going to get hurt. The one person she’d never been able to keep at arm’s distance was me, not since the day we met*

I knew she was going to do good things once someone finally believed in her. *smiling to tuck myself into her side just to be closer to her. I loved being next to my girl. It was my favorite place to be and I couldn’t imagine myself anywhere else. It was the one place where everything was right in the world. My arm slipped around her waist to tug her into me as I stole a kiss of the side of her cheek, whispering softly* Still think I’m crazy for wanting to give her the shop?

*I knew that Lia was dubious about my idea, but I knew if I pushed she would give me anything I wanted. I didn’t want to push, but I did want this. I wanted to focus on Lia and being with her now that the club and the shop were on their feet, and Cay had things down at the shop. The two of them would still be there together, each one feeding off of the presence of the other to attract customers in, and I would be there by Lia’s side wherever she was*

Lia: ^I felt my lips curve into a smile as we pulled up to the house. It was only a matter of minutes before Cassi and I were in the house curled up on the giant chair in the living room. We both needed to be close, and this chair was perfect for that. With my girl curled up in my lap, I could only press a kiss to her shoulder as I thought about what she was saying.

I knew we had planned on handing the shop to Cay. But then everything with the guys happened. It made a little more sense now. Cay wasn’t exactly boy crazy. She had been in a pregnancy fog. And that made handing the shop to her a little easier. It also helped that she had figured out a plan for her pregnancy. Having Myrick help her in the shop while Del helped in the club. To be honest, it was a situation I was completely comfortable with. It worked for the three of them. It was perfect for their personalities.

I wasn’t at all surprised that Cay came to us with the idea while she was telling us she was pregnant. Ever since the two of us had our little talk, she had been more in tune with the shop. She refused to let things fall into the cracks even if Myrick was at the shop with her during the day. I couldn’t help but be happy for her.

My voice was soft as I kissed Cassi’s shoulder. I knew why she wanted to give Cay the shop. But I also knew that maybe we should take it slow.^ She just found out she’s pregnant, Baby Girl. Let’s slowly back away from the shop before we give it to her. We’ll sign all the paperwork as a gift for the new mom. But how about we wait until after we have a baby around to spoil, okay? Because I know you’re going to spoil the hell out of it.

Cassi: *I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped my lips once Lia’s lips brushed across my shoulder. This was my favorite place to be, curled up with my girl in an oversized chair, half in and out of her lap. I could have stayed here forever.

She wasn’t wrong, and I turned to rest my forehead against hers with a gentle grin.* I’m going to be the worst aunty ever, at least where the parents are concerned. *laughing again* I mean I reserve all rights to ruin that child forever. *fingers toying in the gentle curls at the ends of Lia’s hair that splayed across her shoulders. This was where I needed to be.*

So we wait, and give things over to her gradually. The boys have her, Beautiful. I can tell that for certain. I’m so glad she found them. I’m glad they found her too. Maybe the three of them can figure all their mess out now. *grinning as I dip in to steal a gentle kiss from her lips* Besides. I like seeing other people happy too. *murmuring against her lips as I move to wrap my arms around her* So, speaking of happy, have I told you happy you make me every single day?

*I wasn’t just talking. I was happy. I’d never been happier in my life than I had been since the day I’d plopped down across the table from her. Life was never perfect. Things happened, life got busy and stressful, and the world was as tough a place as it had always been. But right here in her arms was the one place where everything felt right.*

Lia: ^I knew everything was different. We weren’t the kids that had fallen in love at a coffee shop when we were barely old enough to be on our own. We had grown up, even if Cassi didn’t want to. She still held that little bit of wonder about the world. And I knew that she was honest when she told me she was happy.

We had both told each other that this was it for us. Things weren’t good for either of us before we met. Neither one of us were accepted by our family. And we were better for it. Sure, we had my brothers, but they tried to keep their distance. And I was okay with that. I had Cassi. I had whoever she decided was worthy of being in our family. She had deemed both Myrick and Cay worthy, whereas I decided we needed Del. Slightly adjusting my girl, I reached into the pocket of my pants and pulled out the ring that had been sitting in the office at the shop. The blue stone matched my girl’s eyes. And the tiny black diamonds that surrounded it was a reminder that I always found beauty in her darkness. Holding it out to her, I couldn’t stop the words from pouring out.^

You make me happy. Nothing has ever been able to crack my shell since I left my family. But then I walked into a coffee shop and this girl decided she had to get to know me. I couldn’t hesitate. I had to give her whatever she wanted. I needed to make those beautiful blue eyes sparkle.

You wanted to run a sex toy shop. You had the idea and every bit of it planned out. It made you happy. I made it happen just so I could see you smile. Not long after we opened the shop, you decided you wanted to open Trinity. Theme nights and a place where people weren’t judged. You wanted it, so I made it happen. I have given you everything you could possibly want because that is what makes me happy. Seeing you smile and be happy is the only thing I need in my life. Until now.

I’m selfish with you. I want you to be mine as much as I want to be yours. I don’t want you to be Cassidy Holmes anymore. The only thing I could ever dream of asking you for is to be Cassidy Watson. I fell in love with you so long ago, but it never got stale. Nothing changed between us as the days went by. I still love you today as much as I loved you from the moment we met. So marry me, Cassi. Give me the only thing in the world I have ever asked of you.

Cassi: *I stared at the ring that Lia pulled out of her pocket in disbelief for the moment it took me to process what she was asking. There hadn’t ever been anyone else for me. I was hers from the minute she opened her mouth. And maybe we had been kids when that happened, but I always knew where I belonged. And where I belonged was right here with her.

I took the ring from her and slid my finger into it without a single word, moving in to steal another kiss, but making this one different than the casual ones I’d been taking before. My fingers made their way into her hair, using the gentle grip to pull her in closer and deepen the kiss in an instant. I talked a lot, but for all the babbling I wasn’t good with words. I couldn’t put the way I felt about Lia into phrases and sentences, but I could put it into this kiss. I got lost in her for a moment before I could pull back and look her in the eyes*

Yes… Of course yes. You could ask for anything you want. You’ve always had me, and my name is just a bunch of letters on a piece of paper. It’s all yours. *I didn’t know what else to say. The ring on my finger was the strangest and most incredible thing all at once. I didn’t know when she’d gotten it or how she’d hidden it from me, but it was gorgeous, just like she was. Letting out a gentle squeal as I felt myself blush and hid my face in her hair* Oh my god, did you really just ask me to marry you?

Lia: ^I couldn’t help but smile as Cassi squealed. Pushing her hair back off of her face, I pressed another soft kiss to her lips before wrapping my arms back around her hips. There were probably a million other ways I could have asked her to marry me, but none of them worked. This was who we were. This was where we were the most comfortable. My words were soft as I kept my girl pressed against me.^ You just said yes, so I’m not sure what that says about you, Pretty Girl.

^I knew there were a million and one ways that we could do this, too. We could run to the courthouse and do it, or we could have a big huge wedding. But for as much as my girl was a girly girl sometimes, I knew that for this, she was going to want small and intimate. Small like just me, Cay, and the guys. I already had a few ideas running through my head. Spinning the ring on my girl’s finger, I hummed softly before focusing on getting out my ideas.^ Small ceremony in the shop. Just the five of us. Cay standing for you, Del standing for me. Maybe Myrick can officiate? We’ll close the club for the night and celebrate there. Just the five of us because that’s our family. Cay and Myrick mean everything to you. And I understand Del in a way most people will never understand.

Cassi: *She knew me well enough to know I wasn’t going to want a huge to do. I was at the club every night, and I’d be friendly with the customers as long as I needed to be. But it was a drain at the end of the night. All I wanted was to sink into bed in Lia’s arms, and an afternoon in the little apartment above the shop drinking tea with Cay or Myrick was my idea of a fun time. The shop and the club and the rest of our little family around was everything I wanted.

My eyes followed her fingers as she toyed with the band around mine. Thoughts swirling as I enjoyed the gentle warmth of her hand moving against mine, the grin on my face felt like it was permanently plastered there. Nodding as I pulled in close again* Just our family. It’s perfect.

*stealing another kiss as I let out a soft giggle, fingers toying along any bare skin I could reach of Lia’s. I really just wanted to touch her, something I could never get enough of.* I fucking love you so damn much, Baby.

Lia: ^I hummed softly against Cassi’s lips. I knew what her hands on my skin meant. She was trying to get as close to me as possible. And I couldn’t blame her. We were so in tune to each other at all times. I knew what my girl wanted and needed. There was never a doubt in my mind. Letting my fingers tap gently against her hip, Cassi quickly jumped out of my lap and held her hand out to me.

Taking her hand in mine, I pulled her to my chest and pressed the softest of kisses to her lips. This wasn’t about anything else than spending the rest of my life with the girl that was in my arms. My words were softly whispered against her lips as my fingers danced over her hips.^ I fucking adore you, Baby Girl. This? Me asking to marry you? It was inevitable. I was made for you. You were made for me. Nothing can tear us apart. Not as long as I’ve got you in my arms.

^I didn’t wait for her to answer me before I swept her up in my arms and carried her to our room. I needed Cassi in a way I hadn’t been sure I could handle. But as time passed, we had figured out how we were supposed to work. That need turned into a burning flame that I never wanted to silence.^

#StarsAreFallingAllForUs

[glamsweatsugar-blog]

If What You Are Is Just What You Own (SL with @LustByTheHour and @SinfulMyrick)

Amelia: ^Syd had gotten back to me shortly after I went to the club. I wanted to make sure everything was in order before open. I knew the minute I had the address I wanted, I wasn’t going to be here. I was going to go down and see them. I didn’t care if I ended up going to Long Island, I was going to fix this as much as I could for Cay. It was part of who I was. I protected those I kept close. I may not have wanted her to be close, but Cassi did. So in giving Cassi everything she wanted, I was letting Cay in.

The address wasn’t what I had been expecting. Manhattan was not a cheap place to live. Upper West Side was impressive. But I had a feeling I was going to be getting more than what I had asked for. I trusted my gut. I knew there was more to the situation than Cay was telling me. I knew Myrick didn’t know where to find her. He hadn’t been to the club. He didn’t know about the shop. I was willing to bet that he was clueless about where to find Cay. That was something I could fix. Tell him what he was looking for. Send him on his way.

Del was the problem. He knew where she was. At the very least, he knew the club existed. And every last person in that club knew where to find Cay. So him not coming to her was a bigger deal. I felt myself turn into the woman that was a hardass. The one that protected everything that had my name attached to it. As the driver stopped in front of the condo, I felt myself growl.^ I’m gonna send a man out. Take him back to the shop. I’ll find my own way back.

^I didn’t hesitate as I walked up the stairs. I knew what I was coming for. I was on a goddamn mission for the woman that took care of my shop. I didn’t bother with the doorbell, though. I wanted whoever was inside to know that I was pissed. Pounding my fist on the wood, I waited almost impatiently for someone to answer^

Myrick: -The sudden pounding on the door made me jump half out of my skin. Leo started barking immediately, though it only took a quick command to make him be quiet before I pushed up from the place I’d been curled up on the couch reading a book. Leaving it discarded on the cushion before I made my way to the door, cautiously opening it to reveal a woman who appeared to be about my age with a look of consternation painted all over her face. I raked a hand through my hair, nervously and looked her over- Umm… Hi. Can I help you? -I had no idea who she was or what she wanted, but I seriously hoped that rage in her eyes wasn’t for me. I’d been in a bit of a fog since Cay left that morning, and things around here had been tense. I hadn’t caught more than a glimpse of Del as he moved from one room to another. He never stayed in one place very long, except for his room.

I wasn’t certain I would know how to talk to him anyway. Even beginning to bring up what had happened between us was more than I could manage. I was only just hoping we could find something like normal again before my best friend wouldn’t talk to me ever again. I didn’t know if I’d ever see Cay again with the way she’d left and left me with no way to find her again. New York was a big city, and you could live a lifetime in it without ever running into some people even once, much less more than once.

I had no idea who the stranger was in front of me on the doorstep with an idling car waiting behind her at the curb, but I knew that this was going to be at least something interesting.-

Amelia: ^I was in for a shock when the door opened. I knew this wasn’t the man I was angry at. This was the innocent bystander in all of this. Myrick, or as Cay liked to call him, Daddy. There was a lot I wanted to say, but I knew I shouldn’t. Not with him. I knew the best thing for Cay was to work it out with Myrick.

They needed to talk, and they needed to talk alone. They didn’t need any sort of pressure. They didn’t need anyone hanging around. It was why I was so sure the idea to send him in the car was the right one.It would absolutely give him the opportunity he needed to at least talk to Cay. Even if that was all they did. I couldn’t blame either one of them if they didn’t have the next part of their plan worked out. But in reality, he couldn’t make a move. He didn’t have the whole picture.

Clearing my throat, I looked the man in front of me up and down. I could see the nerves in his eyes, so I did the only thing I could think to do. I felt my face soften before the words came out of my mouth. I had to be nice to him. There wasn’t any other option for me.^ I need to speak with Del. And you’re going to jump in that car and take a trip to the Bronx. There’s an adult toy store that specializes in BDSM equipment next door to a club. The club is called Trinity. The shop is called Little Shoppe of Temptations. You haven’t come looking because you didn’t know where she was. I’m giving you that information. Tell Del he has a visitor, and go to her. Figure out what the fuck happened. Figure out what you want the two of you to do. And please, keep in mind that that is all you need to worry about. The two of you. I will worry about Del. Now go tell him he has a visitor.

Myrick: -I knitted my brows together as she spoke. I knew exactly who she was talking about without her ever saying the name. Cay… of course Del met her a club and hadn’t told me a single thing about where to find her. I cursed him under my breath, and just nodded to the woman waiting outside- Come in. I’ll go get him, but I can’t promise you he’s going to be pleasant. He’s been a mope for weeks now. -shaking my head as I move out of the way to let her into the foyer with a nod- Give me a minute and I’ll go get him. -frowning as I worried my lower lip between my teeth. I hadn’t actually spoken to Del to say more than hello since that day, and I wasn’t sure how he was going to react to the ball of fire that was standing down at the base of the stair waiting for him.

I wasn’t entirely sure I cared either. He’d been a fuck up over this whole incident, and made it harder on everyone than it has to be. I had no idea how Cay was faring, but judging from the expression of her friend downstairs, it was probably bad. A single knock on Del’s door was all he was getting. After that, I was just going in.

It took me about 30 seconds to screw up the courage to head into the room without him answering before I put my hand on the knob, just in time to see his face, hair dishevelled and clothes a mess. I nodded and pointed down the stairs- You’ve got someone here to see you, and I’m heading out. -I turned on my heels to head back down the stairs without waiting for a reply, though I mumbled something about him needing all the luck he could find for this one before I headed back downstairs, taking the steps two at a time until I could grab my scarf and jacket off the hook by the door with a parting nod to the stranger standing there waiting- He’ll be down in a minute. Don’t hold back on him. -I shut the door behind me and walked over the waiting car, sliding into the backseat with a simple greeting to the driver before we took off for the Bronx-

Del: -grumbling to myself when Myrick turned on heel to leave without another word. I’d been asleep when he walked up the stairs. Hell, I’d been sleeping a lot lately, mostly to avoid Myrick and dealing with the bullshit I’d brought down on myself making stupid decisions and letting my heart lead me around by the dick. I didn’t know who was at the bottom of those stairs, but I more than half hoped it was Cay coming around to give me a chance to act like less than half a moron. I also more than half hoped it wasn’t her, so I didn’t have to actually deal with the fact that I was a moron.

Whoever it was, I wasn’t going to walk downstairs looking like absolute shit. I might feel like it, but I could run my fingers through my hair and put on an actual shirt before I hit the stairs. It gave me time to compose myself so I could readjust some walls before I had to talk to anyone. At least to throw a few more bricks in just in case something was about to try to send them all crashing down around my ears.

It was a quick walk down from my room, but I wasn’t expecting what was waiting for me down at the bottom. I didn’t know this girl from Adam’s housecat, but it was pretty damn clear she was mad. If looks could kill I wouldn’t have made it off the second floor landing alive. It took me a minute to search her features to make sure it wasn’t someone I knew, but once I was certain at the bottom of the steps, I folded my arms across my chest- You sure you have the right house?

Amelia: ^There was so much I could say. There was so much I wanted to say. But the tone of his voice was what pissed me off the most. The accusation was there. There was no doubt in my mind that this was exactly who I was looking for.

I heard Myrick’s voice echoing in my head he told me to not hold back. My intention was to never hold back from him. I wanted him to know the pain he caused. I wanted him to know that not only had he fucked with the wrong girl, but in doing so, he fucked with the wrong business owner.^ Do you think Myrick would have let me in the house if I wasn’t at the right place? Do you think I would have sent some random stranger to Cay’s house if I was in the wrong place? No, Mr. Everly. I am exactly where I need to be. And you need to listen. Because I’m done with the bullshit. I’m done with the walls. I’m done with you hurting my employee because you’re confused.

^I could feel the anger burning in my chest as I tried to keep my temper under control. This was how I got when people messed with Cassi. This was not how I ever planned to react to Cay. But I loved the little redhead. Cassi and I were all she had. We were the ones who were going to protect her when she had no one else. We were the ones that were picking up the pieces to this disaster. All because someone didn’t have the balls to come fucking talk to her.^ Not only did you treat a submissive like she was garbage, but you didn’t have the full story about her. I can understand why your roommate never came looking for her. He had no fucking clue where to find her. But you? See, you met her in my club. So you don’t have that excuse. You never came back looking for her. You never asked questions. Everyone there knew where to find her. But instead, you chose to destroy her. Am I wrong?

Del: -I froze when she used our names and told me exactly the last thing I’d expected to hear when I saw her waiting there. She was mad and evidently for good reason, though I’d had no idea what effect all of this had taken on Cay. I hadn’t stopped for a minute to even consider that I was that important in her life, that anything I’d done could have had enough impact on her to matter. Maybe that was self-centered as fuck, to think that I was the only one who was hurting or scared, but it’s what I was.

I’d expected Cay to go on about her normal life, like she’d been before I ever walked into that club. The idea that she wouldn’t be able to had never crossed my mind. I glanced up and caught the blazing eyes of the woman who stood in front of me, and hadn’t so much as introduced herself outside of the reference she’d made to owning the club I’d met Cay in and being Cay’s boss. I had no idea what to call her or how to address her, but that didn’t stop my mind from flaring up at the words she threw like grenades into my path- Maybe she was better fucking off without me. -And there was the truth coming bubbling up, unbidden. The way I really felt deep down, not that she wasn’t good enough or that I didn’t want her, but that I wasn’t good enough and was never going to be to give her anything like what she needed or wanted.

Cay could do better and I’d be on my own, without having to be terrified of losing anyone, able to just worry about getting myself from point to the next without too much fuss and bother. -

Lia: ^I wanted to smack him across the face. I understood sacrificing your own happiness. But he wasn’t the only one suffering. There were other people that were in this besides him. This was more on the selfish side. Del wanted to see Myrick suffer. That’s what he was doing. Forcing them to suffer right along with him. I closed my eyes as I took a breath to try and calm myself. This was getting me nowhere, but he needed to open his fucking eyes. He needed to see that this wasn’t just about him.^

Maybe she is better off without you, As a matter of fact, I know she is. But guess what, asshole. It’s not just about you. Jesus Christ, it’s not just about her. Have you even seen your roommate lately? Or are you hiding from him, too? Too ashamed to let him see you since you cracked and kissed him? Don’t want to admit that you loved the idea of watching him fuck Cay?

^I could only shake my head as I got angrier and angrier. This wasn’t just about Cay anymore. The person I was most upset over was Myrick. Because the truth was, he got the short end of the stick. He was the one that probably felt like he didn’t matter to either of them. It was something I knew I was going to have to talk to Cay about after all was said and done, though.^ Guess what, Del? It’s not just about you! You want to shut the world out? Great! Go for it. But Myrick is miserable, too. I met the guy for five seconds, and it looks like his dog got shot. And I know his dog is alive! You kept her from him. You didn’t just punish yourself. You didn’t just punish Cay. You punished the most innocent member of this entire fuck up. Yes, Cay knew where you were. You knew where Cay was. But Myrick? He had no fucking clue. And that’s on both you and Cay. But you could have helped him. Jesus Christ, I didn’t think doms were supposed to be this selfish, but you take the fucking cake.

Del: -I was fucking speechless. Here was this girl, who still hadn’t told me her name, cutting down to the bone with every word that she said. She wasn’t wrong. I was a selfish asshole, who didn’t deserve shit. I could have told her that before she ever even started. But dragging them down with me wasn’t something I’d ever considered. I’d thought I was doing them a favor by keeping myself out of their lives, but I didn’t know how to tell her that, not when she was saying the exact same shit to me I said to myself when no one else was around. I took another breath and just shook my head, making some sort of weird sound that was supposed to pass for a word, but it got stuck in my throat. I could feel myself choking on all the things I wanted to say but couldn’t, so here I was stuck, not sure I was even going to be able to breathe with her waiting on me to say something. All of this was my fault. She was absolutely right about that, but I didn’t think me stepping up and being a part of their lives was going to make it any better. All I could do was turn away and make an attempt to clear my throat- I’m not going to argue with you. You’re not wrong. I’m a selfish asshole, ok? I get it. A terrible dom? Probably… You’re not telling me anything I haven’t told myself already. -my eyes were stinging as I shook my head trying to clear it, teeth dragging across my lower lip almost hard enough to draw blood-

Amelia: ^I shook my head before falling onto the couch with a sigh. How was it possible that I was destroying a guy that was supposed to be the toughest of the lot? Shaking my head, I let my fingers comb through the golden fur of Myrick’s dog. I knew I had to think my words over carefully.^ I think that you’re not thinking clearly. I think that Cay scares you. But in reality, that fucking girl scares everyone but Cassi. She has a way of getting into people’s heads. She doesn’t know that she has that power.

^Shaking my head, I felt myself relax slightly. I knew this wasn’t exactly my story to tell, but I needed Del to understand why Cay was the way she was. Why she hadn’t come to them.^ Cay came to us just under a year ago. She was a kid. Barely 18, but then again Cassi and I were barely adults. We had been running the shop for a while, and I was serious about spending time with Cassi. I wanted to give her everything in the world. Cassi wanted a sex toy shop. So I gave it to her. Within weeks of opening it, a lost little redhead walked in. Cay needed a place to live and work. I was very hesitant. But Cassi wasn’t. There was an apartment above the shop. It had been fully furnished, it just didn’t have a tennant. So she begged me to let Cay live there. I’ve never been able to deny my girl what she wants.

^Letting my eyes focus on the man in front of me, I pegged him with a stare as I got to the one thing I wasn’t sure I should say. But it was a major part of the story. It was something he needed to hear, and I wasn’t sure Cay would ever tell anyone the truth.^ She was an outcast in her family. She didn’t like they way they lived, so she left them. She ran away to New York the day she turned 18. She lived on the streets until she came to me and Cassi. She didn’t like being put into the mouse wheel that was the catholic lifestyle. She didn’t believe in it. So she rebelled, and she did it hard. She fell into BDSM when she was living on a boat. That lasted long enough for her to realize that she was serious about being a sub. She’s never trusted anyone enough to sub for them, though. So her coming home to you was a huge step for her. But she’s used to being thrown away. She’d never force her presence on you, either. She’d just wait for you to come to her.

I’m not going to pretend that your situation isn’t different, Del. The dynamic that you need to work out in your head is only going to keep her from you. And, even worse, it’s going to keep Myrick from you. Don’t let Cay come between the two of you. All three of you need to sit down and talk, though. But you need to decide what you want, Del. If it’s Cay, then go after her. If it’s Myrick, explain that to Cay. But don’t be ashamed if you want them both. There’s a way to make everything work. It takes communication, but it’ll work itself out. You just need to decide what you want to do.

Del: -I got the guts to plop down in the chair across from her and just listen to what she had to say. I had no idea who Cassi was but I could hear the way her voice changed when she talked about her, the way I wanted someone's voice to change when they talked about me. I didn't think that would ever happen though. Or that I could ever even deserve that. Maybe in my head it wasn't real. It wasn't the sort of thing that would last. It was all just something else to get disappointed over.

She told me a lot more of Cay’s story than I would have gotten from Cay herself and I knew it, but it made me feel like an even bigger asshole- I know what it's like to be the black sheep of a family, ok? I get it. My parents aren't religious unless you count money as a religion. But I was never what you might call their idea of son of the year. -shaking my head to clear it of the downward spiral I felt myself falling back down into as I travelled that line of thought- Can you just tell me one damn thing? You sit over there telling me it's ok to want both of them when nothing in my experience tells me that I'm worth even half of one of them. And you don't know me from a hole the fucking ground. I don't even know your damn name. How do you know I'm not going to be the worst thing that ever happened to either or both of them? -leaning forward so my elbows rested on my knees while I studied her expression and waited for her to basically slap me across the face-

Amelia: First of all, I’m Amelia Watson. I own Trinity. You know, the club where you met Cay? Secondly, how do you know you’re not going to be the best thing to happen to the two of them? You just assume that you’re going to epically fuck up and lose them both. Newsflash, Del. You’re losing them right now.

^I wanted to say more, but I knew better. I was already going to be in a handful of shit when Cassi found out I was here. And if Cay knew exactly what I was doing, I was dead. I just had to do something for them. And if making the man in front of me see the different side of what he was thinking, then good. I was doing some kind of work here.^ Cay has been miserable. She’s been walking around in a haze. She’s barely there at work. And it started after she met you and Myrick. She waited for you. And neither one of you came to prove to her that she was worth it. Granted, the situation with Myrick was more out of her control.

^I pegged Del with a raised eye before shaking my head. This was an epic shit storm of not good enough. Each of them thinking they didn’t deserve what the others had to offer. It was something I knew well. I had gone through it when I met Cass.^ I understand that you’re scared. And being in a poly relationship isn’t going to be easy. There’s going to be jealousy. There’s going to be issues from people that don’t understand. The worst thing you could do is not give yourself the opportunity to see where this takes you. Talk to Myrick about what happened. I’m pretty sure that Preppy Boy might be a little more lost than you are.

Del: -I couldn’t help but let out a half laugh when she called Ricky Preppy Boy. It sounded like something that could come out of my own mouth about him. Hell, I’d probably called him that more than a few times. Raking a hand through my hair as I took a breath, getting myself together before I replied.- Oh, I don’t know about him. Myrick is way more together than even he gives himself credit for, way more together than I’ll ever be. -nodding as I look back up into her eyes. I wasn’t wrong. I’d known him longer than I’d known anyone I wasn’t related to, and I liked him better than anyone I’d known ever. There was a reason he was the only person I’d ever lived with without causing World War III in my entire life. -

I know I need to talk to them both. I’ve known it since everything happened. I just wasn’t sure she ever wanted to see me again. And yeah, it’s my own damn fault I didn’t go look for her. I could have found her if I’d had the guts to, but don’t think it was selfish, ok? I mean… maybe it was. -shaking my head and letting my breath out in a frustrated sigh- God damn, I hope you know what the fuck I’m talking about. -giving my hair another yank out of exasperation with my own inability to express what I wanted to tell Amelia-

I know you sent Ricky to her. And I’m fucking glad you did. He’s better at this shit than I am, no matter what he likes to tell himself and everyone else. It’s me that’s the fuck up. But I’ll fucking go after he gets a chance to talk to her. Don’t be surprised if she slaps me right across the face though. I fucking won’t.

Amelia: ^I could only bite on my bottom lip as I thought about what he was saying. The damage with Cay was easier to fix. At least, in my opinion. Sure, there was going to be some kind of an issue there. But it wasn’t going to be something that no one could overcome. Either Cay gave him a chance, or she didn’t. The bigger concern, in my eyes, was Myrick.^ No, when Daddy Preppy Boy comes back, you talk to him. There’s more pressing matters than talking to Cay. She’s just a girl. And yes, that sort of contradicts the entire reason I’m here, but there are things that should never come between a friendship. Pussy is one of them. And trust me, I know how amazing pussy is. But you need to be honest with him. More so than with Cay.

^Looking down at my watch, I sighed softly. I had to get back to the club. I was already cutting it close to opening, and Cassi was going to freak out if she had to do it on her own. I knew it was something she could do, if she absolutely had to do it. I just didn’t like putting her in that position.^ Look, I have to get back to Trinity. Myrick first, Del. I’m fucking serious. Fix shit with him before you even think about coming to find Cay. And I’ll know if you have. If you haven’t, be expecting another visit from me. And it won’t go as well as this one did.

^I didn’t stop to give him a chance to respond before I grabbed my bag and walked out of the house. I needed to make the trip back to The Bronx. It wasn’t going to be too long of a trip, but it was enough of a hassle. With a few clicks on my phone, I was sliding into a car and directing them back towards the club. I wasn’t sure what the future was going to bring, but I had done something. And that was all I really needed to do.^

#IfWhatYouAreIsJustWhatYouOwn

[glamsweatsugar-blog]

Process The Progress (SL with @DayDividesNight)

Amelia: ^I was tired of seeing her walk around the shop moping like she had lost her dog. She hadn’t been the same since the night Cassi and I made Cay come out to the club. I understood her reluctance. But the truth was that Cassi wanted her there, so I made her show up. So when she told Syd that she wasn’t going to be at work the next day, I wasn’t completely surprised. I wasn’t thrilled about it. That’s for damn sure, but I wasn’t surprised.

There was no way I could deny it. Cay ran the shop, and she kicked ass at running it. Cassi trusted her from the moment they met, and I had no other choice. Because again, what my girl wants, my girl gets. So she let Cay move into the apartment upstairs. We had it furnished from the start just in case one of us needed to crash here. What we had never been expecting was the tiny little redhead to turn our world upside down.

Gone were the days of me dealing with deliveries. The nights where Cassi was frustrated I couldn’t come home because something had happened at the shop. Cassi had begged and pleaded with me to teach Cay the ropes. Show her what needed to be done so that one of us wasn’t going to be here until 5 am.

And then Cassi asked me the biggest question in the world. If I wanted to give Cay the shop. I wasn’t entirely sure. The shop was what had almost destroyed us. But it was still our baby. I wasn’t sure it was something I was ready to do, but I understood her point. We barely ran it. We were barely there. It wasn’t a huge shock she wanted to give Cay that responsibility.

But I was troubled with the idea, even more so since the BDSM night at the club. Cay came back the next day and was confused as all hell. She wouldn’t say a word about what happened. She didn’t want to talk about it. She just wanted to be in her own mind. That was all well and good, but she was barely putting in any effort in the shop anymore. She did the bare minimum to get by. And that was what irritated the shit out of me.

It was rare when I would have Syd come in and cover the shop. She was better in the club, but I knew she was just as worried. Cay hadn’t been acting like herself, and I needed to figure out what the fuck was going on before she ran the shop into the ground. With my lips tightened into a firm line, I felt myself bang on the wood door at the top of the stairs outside of the shop.^

Cay: ^I was sleeping like shit. There was no other way to describe it. Dreams were being turned into nightmares. Desires were falling by the wayside. I wasn’t sure what I wanted anymore, and I wasn’t sure how to handle that. How was I supposed to understand any of what was going through my head on my own.

It wasn’t just the idea of being attracted to two men. I could handle that. I had been through that before. One of them was exactly what I saw myself with. Del was the kind of Dom I had always envisioned. I knew what I was getting into with him. The problem there was that I could see the wall he had built around himself. And I wasn’t even sure what was going through his mind half the time.

I could trust myself in his hands, but I didn’t know if I could trust him with my heart. And that was almost as important to me. I wasn’t the type of girl that would get involved with a Dom and not get her heart involved. It was just going to happen because that’s who I was. I couldn’t look at a relationship like that as just sex. It was never just sex. It was an exchange of power. It was the ability to have complete control. It was a terrifying thought.

But then there was the thought of Myrick. And that was another situation I wasn’t sure how to handle. I had never considered myself a little. I didn’t have the desire to have a Daddy. I didn’t need to be taken care of. But when it came to him? I could absolutely rely on him to take care of me. I could absolutely give him my heart. But it wasn’t just about letting him take care of me. It wasn’t about being his Little Girl. It was about giving myself to him to protect and cherish. To rely on him to take care of me. To understand me in a way no one else would get.

But I needed to stop going down this road. I needed to not think about them. I knew what thinking about them would bring me. More trouble from Amelia. I knew that I was off. I hadn’t been the same since those fateful 12 hours or so. Since the two of them had walked into my life.

The soft rapping on the wood door made me jump. It was my day off, and I knew better than to expect anyone to come up. So when I opened the door, I was shocked to see my boss standing out there in a pair of jeans and a band tee.^ Hello to you too, Mellie. What brings you by?

Amelia: ^I rolled my eyes as Cay opened the door. A pair of cotton shorts and a tank top was all that she was in. Granted, that was to be expected. It was her day off, and that’s why I was here. I knew I could talk to her. She wasn’t going to go anywhere. Pushing myself into the tiny apartment, I started to pace before I took a seat at the bar.

I remembered putting this place together when Cassi and I first opened the shop, but it was different now. There had been some updates. Cay made it her own. It was still light, but the touches of color were exactly what I saw for her. But I wasn’t here to think about the decor. I had a reason for being here. I had to talk to her about what was going on.^ You know Cassi wants to give you the shop, right? Like hand it over to you. Title and all. You would be the owner. Me? I think you can’t handle it right now. I think you’re so stuck in your head that you can’t handle it.

Cay: ^I rolled my eyes as Amelia walked in. I watched as she walked around before taking a seat at the bar. I wasn’t sure what was going through her head, but I was surprised at the words. Cassidy wanted me to have the shop. I wasn’t sure what I had done to deserve it, but Cass was willing to take a chance on me. I felt my hands tremble as I took in the next set of words.

Mellie was right. I hadn’t acted like myself recently. I didn’t prioritize the shop like I had before the BDSM night. I was barely going through the motions. It was a wonder they trusted me enough to let me stay here. But I knew my actions as of late weren’t enough to completely destroy the trust Cassidy had in me. However, if Amelia was here, there was reason for concern.

I felt the tears well up in my eyes, but I knew I couldn’t break down in front of her. She wasn’t going to have that. The only person whose tears worked on Amelia were Cassidy’s. Of that, I was absolutely certain. But there was really only so much I could do. I could try harder, but my brain did not want to forget them.^

I.. I didn’t know Cass had that thought. I mean, you two know I am more than willing to do whatever you need to help out at the shop. But I wasn’t ever expecting Cass to just give it to me. I’m sorry my head has been out of it for a while. I just don’t know what is going on with me.

Amelia: ^I knew the moment the lightbulb went off in her head. She wanted to own the shop. Anyone who couldn’t see it was stupid. Cay cared so much about the place that she treated it like it was her own. But I saw how she felt disappointed in herself for feeling like she had let us down. She hadn’t to a degree. She was still a great worker, but she had closed herself off.

It was something that wasn’t like her. Cay wasn’t much younger than Cassi and I were. We had opened the shop when we were around her age. Not much older. We knew how much it sucked to run a business at that age. But we were positive Cay could do it. And she wouldn’t be on her own. We were going to be right next door at the club to help her.

But she was insane over a guy. A guy that, to my knowledge, she hadn’t seen since that night at the club. I could see it in her eyes, though. She needed to talk about what was going on. She just didn’t know who she could turn to. I needed to give her an option.

I knew she would have preferred to talk to Cassi. Cassi was better at this sort of thing. I didn’t have the time or patience to talk about guys. Well, I didn’t have the patience to talk about unrequited desire. I had what I wanted. I didn’t understand not having that. I couldn’t even begin to think about not having that. Because the moment I didn’t, I knew I had screwed up somewhere.

But I needed to try to talk to Cay. I had to show her that Cassi wasn’t the only person she could go to. I was more than just a business associate. I was willing to be a friend. And besides, I knew this was going to make Cassi happy. She loved Cay like a little sister. She was willing to take care of her at all costs. I hadn’t let Cay that close to me, and I know it was hurting Cassi. And when it came to hurting my girl, I hated doing it. But there was a reason I kept Cay at arms length. And this was the reminder of why I did. I didn’t want to hurt the businesses we had. And by getting close to Cay, I could lose everything.^ I know you’d prefer talking to Cassi, but you know she won’t say anything unless you come to her.

We love you, Lin. We want you to be okay. And of all the people in the world, Cassidy and I understand complicated relationships. It’s not like her family is excited she decided to be with me. I’m pretty sure they’d rather she just settle down with a guy. Neither one of us is in contact with our families. Well, I talk to my brothers, but that’s different.

^Taking a breath, I had to stop the rambling that was slipping from my lips. This wasn’t the time to just go on a tangent about our pasts. Cay understood it. She hadn’t been accepted by her family at all. It was why she went from Philadelphia to the streets of New York City. Cassi couldn’t let her be homeless. So she came here.^ We get it. I just want you to open up to me. Let’s talk about what happened that night at the club. The guy you went home with. What happened. Let’s try to figure out what we need to do to get your head back into the shop.

Cay: ^I felt my mouth drop open a bit as Mellie tried to get me to open up. There was only so much I could do, but she had a point. I wasn’t as much of a social outcast as I wanted to believe. True, our lifestyles were different, but Mellie and Cass were so open minded about other lifestyles. They accepted the fact that I was a submissive. They didn’t make me feel bad about it. It was what it was.

Taking a breath, I thought about where to start. Realistically, the only place to start was the beginning. I had to tell her about Del and what had happened there. I didn’t want to lie to her, either. So the full story was it.^

You opened the club to members of the BDSM community. It was only natural that I ended up finding someone there to go home with. And I did. His name is Del Everly. And he seemed perfect. He was everything I could have ever dreamed of in a Dom. He was fucking perfect. He even grabbed my ass in front of his roommate when we got into his apartment. All was perfect.

^I shook my head as I came to the complicated part of my story. The only thing that terrified me of telling everything to Amelia. Telling her the truth about Myrick. Telling her what had happened with him. How I felt I could belong to both of them if they had given me the chance. But I couldn’t handle the idea that Mellie would look at me differently after.^ After we did what we did, we fell asleep in his bed. The next morning, I woke up and talked to his roommate about some of the stuff that had happened the night before.

Amelia: ^I could tell Cay was hesitant to tell me what happened next. But I had an understanding without her saying a word. Something had happened between her and the roommate. That’s what all of this was about. There was something there, and she didn’t know how to handle it. That was easy to fix.^ Talk to Del about everything. Explain that you’re just not into him as much as you’re into the roommate. Lin, this isn’t the end of the world. That I promise you.

^It was the destroyed look on her face that made me realize I had said something wrong. Her nose scrunched up, and she visibly recoiled when I said that she wasn’t into him. I felt my mouth drop open as I started to put the pieces together.^ You slept with the roommate that morning, didn’t you?

Cay: ^I could only nod my head as Mellie asked if I had slept with Myrick. I didn’t want to deny it. I couldn’t deny it. Because it was true. On the countertops of the kitchen. That was where everything went down. And I was terrified of who came to me first. If either one of them was going to come to me. I couldn’t blame them if they didn’t want to. It was their choice. I could only sit back and wait. I refused to go to them. I had done enough damage the first time I was there.^

I wasn’t expecting it to happen. But I woke up the next morning, and I was bruised to hell and back. I went downstairs to have tea with him, and we got to talking. He looked at my ass and thighs and made me take ibuprofen and put an ice pack on it. He took care of me, Mellie. He did in a way that I had never expected before. He was every bit the Daddy I thought he could be.

^I clenched my jaw shut when I said the last line. I didn’t need to announce to the world that Myrick was a Daddy Dom. It wasn’t my place to tell anyone. But I knew the truth was that Mellie wasn’t going to say a goddamn word about what we discussed unless it was to Cassi. It was the one thing I knew was that I could trust her.^

I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know if I should be with Myrick or if I should be Del. I went home with Del. I wasn’t expecting anything more than the night. But what I got was something I could see myself wanting. And then there’s Myrick. He wasn’t anything I was ever expecting. I didn’t know I could want that. I didn’t know it was something that was going to work for me.

^I bit my bottom lip as I felt the tears pricked at my eyes. I didn’t want to cry over these guys. I wanted everything to just be normal. But I knew the truth was anything but normal. It wasn’t even the lifestyle that made it a bit more messy.^

The truth is, I don’t know what the hell is going on. While Myrick had me on the counters, Del stood there and watched. He enjoyed it. But I wasn’t sure if it was because it was me or if it was because it was Myrick that was screwing me. Because once Del made his presence known, he kissed Myrick and disappeared. Myrick got quiet, and I left because I didn’t know what else to do. Because what could I do? How was I supposed to sit around and deal with the awkwardness?

Amelia: ^I hadn’t been expecting the outburst from Lin. I hadn’t ever thought she would just let her fears out. I understood what she was scared about, though.  She didn’t know where she stood. She didn’t have any answers to any questions that she was looking for. I wanted to make it better. I could make it better, but that was a different story for a different day. I  needed her to know that this wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t on her to go find them.^ I’m going to assume you left them a way to find you? A phone number? The club? Even the shop?

^I was out of my seat before I considered what I was doing. I hated her hurting. I hated that they were doing this to her. It’s why I was so glad I was a lesbian. Guys didn’t understand the pain that came with their noncommittal decisions. And it was worse for girls like Lin. I knew her better than she may have wanted to admit. But I knew her reactions. She wasn’t going to put herself out there. Even if she wasn’t a submissive, it was the history she had with not being good enough for people that held her back. Of course, the guys didn’t know what the hell was going on. To them, she was a warm pussy. Nothing more, nothing less. They didn’t understand how damaged she was. How fragile Lin was when Cassi gave her this place. It wasn’t something anyone ever saw.

Walking over to the stereo, I slipped in the one album I knew would make Lin feel better. The one album that made her realize that she was okay. That she was going to be okay. I saw the twinkle in her eyes as the song started. It was a matter of seconds before Lin was dancing around the kitchen singing at the top of her lungs. But I was with her the entire time.^

Remember when you were a madman? Thought you was Batman? And hit the party with a gas can? Kiss me, you animal!

Cay: ^As soon as Bulletproof Heart started, I grabbed the remote I kept in the kitchen drawer and pressed pause. There was no way I was going to be able to handle that. I could barely get my emotions together long enough to process happy. But Mellie knew the truth. She knew what made me move. She knew what put me in a good mood. And My Chemical Romance was a great way to do it.

But the reality of the situation was that I was still troubled over two guys who hadn’t come for me. It was something I needed to get over. Something I needed to not worry about any more. They didn’t come for me. It was as simple as that. I needed to put my big girl panties back on and get back to the life I had made for myself. Looking to the clock, I groaned softly. We were set to open in ten minutes, and I was nowhere near ready. I saw the roll of her eyes before I squeaked and ran off to the bathroom. I didn’t have time to fool around before I needed to be back in the shop.^

Amelia: ^I wasn’t surprised that it only took the two of us having a discussion for Lin to get her shit together. It was just something I knew how to do. Walking out of the apartment, I took the short staircase down to the shop. Syd was throwing the till into the register with a grin on her face. The downside to having her here was that she was exhausted. I knew it, and I owed her huge for this. But I still needed one more favor from her before I could let her go home for the night. Walking over to the register, I clear my throat and look at my best bartender. She had a raised brow as her eyes flickered towards the upstairs apartment.^ I need an address, Syd. Guy Lin went home with that night at the club. Name is Del Everly. You have twenty four hours. Because he’s not going to step foot in my club again without knowing what he did to her.

^I knew I could be a bit scary when I wanted to be. Right now was no surprise. Syd knew I was serious as a heart attack and nodded before walking out from behind the counter. She was out the door faster than I could blink. But that was good. I needed her rested and with the information I needed. It wasn’t going to be hard to find. Plug in the name and search. It was something I could do if I wanted to, but there was still so much to do for the next theme night at the club. I had barely made the time to make this visit. But for Lin? There was nothing I wouldn’t do to help her. Even if it meant giving her a swift kick in the ass.^

#ProcessTheProgress

[glamsweatsugar-blog]

Drenched In Sin

^There was no denying giving her what she wanted. First, it was the shop. Then, after Cay came into our lives, it was the club. It was never that Cassi was scatter brained. It was that she had so many ideas going on at the same time. That’s fine. If she can handle it, then I’ll give it to her. I was the one that did the math. I made sure we had the money to be able to afford the club and the shop. I couldn’t deny it. While Cassi and I were busy with the club, Cay had taken over the shop’s day to day like it was her own. She cared for it in a way I never understood. Cassi understood it, though. They both had a shared passion for the place. Something about giving everyone a safe place to express their most inner desires. A place where the employees not only understood the products that were sold, but had also tested each one out. I had to give the young girl credit where it was due. When she first walked into the shop, I wanted to smack Cassi for accepting her like a lost puppy. She immediately handed over the keys to the apartment upstairs, and told her to make herself at home. I knew that there was no stopping her. So, I trained Cay to run the place. I taught her how to count the drawers at the beginning of the day and at the end of the night. I told her about cash orders, deposits, overages and shortages. She took it upon herself to learn about inventory and shipments. I wasn’t apologetic for the attitude I still gave her. I trusted her with the business, but I was always going to watch out for Cassi’s heart. I would always keep Cay at arms length because I didn’t want her to hurt my girl. There wasn’t much I had in the world, but Cassi was the only thing I ever gave a shit about. Coming out as a lesbian to my family had been an experience. My parents weren’t accepting. There was no other way to say it except for that. My brothers didn’t care because it gave them an excuse to talk about girls around me. I could give them input, and they could give me their opinions. There was only so much disapproval that I could take, though. I made it my life’s mission to finish high school two years early just so I could get away. At sixteen, I filed the paperwork to emancipate myself from my parents. They weren’t financially responsible for me. I had saved money from the time I was ten until I left the house. Any allowance, random babysitting job, or actual job I had was to save up the money I needed to leave. I worked my ass off to get an academic scholarship to college. I was barely twenty by the time I graduated. It wasn’t that long after graduation that I met Cassi. And that was what my life had become. I found a woman who loved me for me, and needed me in a way I didn’t think was possible. It wasn’t about teaching her everything about running a business. It was giving her the opportunity to do whatever she wanted on a whim. It was the reminder that she always had someone there to catch her when she fell. I couldn’t let her feel alone. I just wasn’t sure of letting other people close to us. It was in Cassi’s nature. Find people she wanted to love and hold them close. It was what had happened with me. But I wasn’t entirely sold on Cay. And today proved it. After the club had closed up, Syd let me know that Cay wasn’t planning on being at work in the morning. That she had left with some guy. It was something Cassi had been hoping for. But I knew that I wasn’t going to sleep tonight. If I even left the club. Just after the club was set to close, we were expecting a delivery. Normally, it was Cay that took care of it all. It was one less thing to worry about. I wanted to be irritated with Cassi for encouraging it, but I saw her point. Cay spent every minute either in the shop or in her apartment doing the orders for the shop or the club. Everyone at the club knew the truth. While it was my club and Cassi’s baby, Cay ran the damn thing. She knew where everything was stocked, had personal relationships with all of the sales reps and the delivery guys. The problem was that this was not supposed to be her life. We both knew there was more to it for her. As I finally crawled into bed after dealing with the delivery, I heard my girl start to mumble softly. The truth was she had problems sleeping without me. It was why I hated deliveries. I just wanted to be able to be here. Get her through the night without a nightmare. Pulling her into my arms, I watched those beautiful blue eyes blink at me sleepily. Pressing my lips to hers, I quieted any words that were about to come from her mouth. I just wanted her to sleep for the night. I didn’t want anything to bother her. Everything could wait until morning. Brushing her lavender hair out of her face, I watched as she slowly fell back asleep without another word. Her head pressed against my shoulder as I just looked up at the ceiling. The night had been a relative success. Again, we owed that to Cay who was wonderful as a host. I had some ideas rolling through my head in regards to the redheaded woman that practically ran both of my businesses. But it was something I needed to talk to Cassi about before I could do anything. I thought about the ring I had tucked away in my office back at the shop. The only person that knew it was there was Cay. She had stumbled upon it while cleaning and asked me about it. I didn’t lie to her. It was absolutely for Cassi. I just needed to find the perfect time to give it to her. The aquamarine stone matched her eyes almost perfectly. The black diamonds surrounding it showed that the darkness I saw in her was beautiful. It wasn’t something I wanted to change. I wanted to embrace it. Love it just as much as I loved the rest of her. She was the only person I was willing to tie myself to permanently. I just needed the time to do it. The only thing I cared about was if Cassi said no. It wasn’t something I was going to be able to handle. It wasn’t that I didn’t handle rejection well. I could absolutely handle it. But there was something about this girl that called to me. I needed her in my life like no one else. I couldn’t do what I was starting. I couldn’t have this kind of a panic attack. The last thing I needed was to freak and wake up Cassi. She’d probably think I was going insane. I rarely went into a panic. When I did, I made sure my girl wasn’t around. I never wanted her to see me that out of control of myself. And the only thing that ever sent me into a panic was my parents. Matt or Brian would call to give me an update of when they were coming to the city. I hated the idea of seeing them. But I also knew they wouldn’t dare step foot in Temptations or Trinity. It was too much of a disgrace for the two of them. Those were the days I made sure I had a reason to be in the office. I couldn’t do this. I needed to stop thinking. I needed to relax. I needed to sleep. Pressing one more kiss into Cassi’s hair, I let myself get settled. There wasn’t anything to worry about. This girl was absolutely going to spend the rest of her life with me. I had no other reason to think otherwise.^ #DrenchedInSin