glowing-in-the-dark-and-sobbing

[glowing-in-the-dark-and-sobbing]

Everytime I get to see women feeling pride in how far they have come it makes me feel jealous. I want to take pride in the things the people have done before me. But I am not a girl. I was born one but the word feels like oil and tar. I want to be able to take pride in something but I am so far removed from gender I can only take pride in myself. And there is nothing for me to be proud about within myself.

[glowing-in-the-dark-and-sobbing]

So I have many younger siblings, who I all care about deeply. I would kill for all of them but I worry the most about the youngest. She is very sweet to strangers and she looks and acts like your typical sweet southern girl. I worry about her safety online. To the point where I worry about using "she" in this post.

Anyways this post is to thank the very nice person on Roblox who gave her a free pack, some free Robux, and was just very kind to her without being creepy. She has been smiling for the last hour about it and it makes me happy to see people interacting with little kids online without being weird or mean.

Thanks to all the people being nice to kids without bad motives:)

[glowing-in-the-dark-and-sobbing]

I need you all to know every time time I eat angel hair pasta I am thinking about that one creepypasta in a hotel where the pasta was actually scalped blond hair

[glowing-in-the-dark-and-sobbing]

🔴can you help me 🇵🇸🍉

This is my home Which was destroyed by the accursed occupation yesterday I'm not sad about the stones I'm sad about the memories I hope this damned war ends 💔💔😔 🍉🇵🇸

vetted by @90-ghost

[glowing-in-the-dark-and-sobbing]

Now time to play my "favorite" game, "Can they not hear me or are they just ignoring me!" Brought to you by crippling social anxiety, no volume control, and a few year of selective mutism!

[glowing-in-the-dark-and-sobbing]

"If tampons should be free, then so should my diabetes meds."

Yes? Yes they should be? Your life-saving medication that you need in order to live for a condition you were born with should be given to you at no cost?

[glowing-in-the-dark-and-sobbing]

My Journey to Escape the War in Gaza

My name is Abdelmajed. I never imagined I’d be sharing my story like this, but life in Gaza has become unbearable. I am a survivor of the war here, and in the blink of an eye, everything I once knew—my home, my safety, my community—was ripped away from me.

The war has transformed Gaza into a graveyard of broken dreams. The buildings that once stood as symbols of life and resilience are now piles of rubble. Every corner is filled with the echoes of explosions. Every moment is shrouded in uncertainty. There is no security. There is no stability. There is no light at the end of the tunnel.

Basic needs have become luxuries. Food is scarce. Clean water is even scarcer. Hospitals are overwhelmed and under-resourced, and there is almost no medical care to be found. Every night, families go to bed hungry, praying they’ll wake up to see another day. The cost of basic necessities has skyrocketed, and it’s become a daily battle just to survive.

I’ve seen things I never thought possible—standing in long lines for a piece of bread, rationing every drop of water, and watching my people suffer in silence. I have lost everything—my home, my safety, my dignity.

Escape from Gaza is my only hope, but it’s almost impossible without financial help. The cost of evacuation is far beyond my means, and without support, I’m trapped in a warzone with no way out.

I’m reaching out to you now, in the hopes that someone, anyone, can help. I am not asking for luxury. I am asking for a chance—just a chance—to live. A chance to escape this never-ending cycle of fear, destruction, and loss. A chance to rebuild my life somewhere safe, where I can begin again, where I can find hope once more.

Any amount you can give will help me get closer to safety. Even the smallest donation will make a difference—it could be the lifeline I need to survive. If you are unable to donate, please share my story. The more people who hear it, the better the chance that I can find the support I desperately need.

Your kindness and support mean the world to me. You’re not just helping me escape a war; you’re giving me a chance to live, to rebuild, to breathe again.

Thank you for listening. Thank you for caring.

Vetted by @gazavetters

[glowing-in-the-dark-and-sobbing]

I low-key want someone to beat the ever loving shit out of me in a codependent homoerotic way. Let them prove to me that they don't think I'm weak, that they think I can still function broken where they can see. They could break my bones and then put me back together again as I'm crying with an internal scar from the bone cutting my muscle forever in me caused by them. They can permanently mark me in a way only we could see and then we talk about what we love about each other while their knuckles still have my blood on them as they clean my face.

Maybe I should actually go back to therapy.

[glowing-in-the-dark-and-sobbing]

Holy shit it has only been like five months. We still have closer to four years left

[glowing-in-the-dark-and-sobbing]

I read Osora recently and I ended up texting my friend crying because I had never seen a character who explained how they felt about their gender exactly like I feel about mine. The way Arias responded to Osora explaining everything means the world to me as it felt like he somewhat understood, a response I have never feel like I have gotten.

All this to say, Read Osora

[glowing-in-the-dark-and-sobbing]

Many times in the past I have said that my 7 year old self would hate me now. I think that statement is finally not true. She was a kid who wanted a barbie life, with every job she could think of and all the friends in the world. I may not have a barbie life but I do think I have a monster high one. I have several found family friends, my hair is dyed, and I am now slowly working my way through all the horror classics. While she may not be pleased with the horror books, She did always love monster high.

[glowing-in-the-dark-and-sobbing]

I saw the Tv glow out of the corner of my eye. I saw it when I was a kid looking up identities until 3 in the morning. I saw it when the smart older classman came out for the first time. I saw it when I called myself someone's son as a joke.

I only got the courage to look at it recently. I can see to the other side and there is someone there. I cannot recognize them but they are smiling so brightly. He is happy.

It is not too late for me. It will never be to later for anyone.

[glowing-in-the-dark-and-sobbing]

Due to the election as queer person in the south I have thoughts to share

I cannot give up on life because that shows my kid sister that her rights are not worth fighting for. That she should just give up and take it. She will be a teen when this over.

I will not go out of my way to hide what is different about me because that shows my baby cousins that what they cannot hide about themselves is not something to be proud of. That they should try to hide away themselves for others. They will 5 and 6 when this is over.

I refuse to lie about myself or deny things people know to be true about me because that shows my nephew that his parents are something to be ashamed of. That what the hatful people say about his dads is true. He will be 5 when this is over.

I am scared. I am scared that the people I love will be hurt. I am scared that people will hurt me after everything. But I refuse to let them scare me into changing. I refuse to hide important parts of myself for old men in power. My life stopped just being a kids life and became a rebellion when I came out at 12.

With that being said, if you need to hide then hide. You are not weak. You are not a coward. You are surviving. You are protecting yourself and at the end of the day that is what is most important. Your survival is just as important to keep queer people safe as standing out and fighting. You will be able to tell tales about us to everyone in the future.

Stay safe everyone and remember that you are a person. You have feelings and you know who you are and they cannot take that from you. Do not let them take that from you even if you have to hide.

[glowing-in-the-dark-and-sobbing]

I would love nothing more than to be a writer or film maker.

I love symbolism. I love telling stories and making people feel seen by my characters

I want to make horror movies with concepts that have never been seen before. I want to show off my monsters that are unique.

I want to write mystery books that leave you wanting more. You may have heard the plot before but the story would be done in a different way.

Unfortunately I have been told that it is not sustainable. I could not live doing this. And even if I could it's not right for me to chase this dream. I have to help people for all the things I let happen to me. I have let so much happen to me and the people I care about that there is no point to my life if I don't help other before I die. I have done nothing good enough to be considered more than just an "Ok person" so I have to help as many people as I can in hopes of being a "Good Person"

I can't do that with stories and dreams.

[glowing-in-the-dark-and-sobbing]

Here is something I wrote! It's a sad little story with a hopeful ending.

✧✧Kintsugi✧✧

On a random day in spring there was a girl with dark hair. She was lonely and she wanted a friend. So she made a doll. The doll was a small thing, made of porcelain with dark eyes and hair to match the girl herself. As the girl grew, the doll stayed by her side, hearing her life and watching her grow. The doll begin grow alongside the girl. The two of them stayed together for as long as the girl could let it but eventually she had to put the doll down, to let it see the world in all its glory. The girl worried about the doll, something she had made and feared it getting broken by how cruel the world could be to fragile things, but the doll believed it was unbreakable. It had been made of porcelain its entire life and had not ever broken. Why would it break now?

After the doll left it met a new girl. This girl said she would love the doll, take care of it and teach it new things about the world, things the first girl never told it! The doll was happy and didn’t think anything about it when the porcelain cracked as the new girl taught it things. As time went on the doll learned more and the more it learned the more cracks it found. The old girl has not taught it what the cracks were, or how to fix them. The doll only knew it was bad and they hurt. After a while the new girl got bored with the doll and left it broken, cracked, and alone. The doll laid there for a while, not knowing what to do, grieving the loss of its smooth unbroken skin. After a while a group found the doll. It was more people than then the doll had ever seen and they were asking the doll to join them. They didn’t promise the doll anything, nor did they ask it for anything in return, and the doll went with them.

At first the doll hid the cracks. What if they saw? Would they leave? Would they make more? One day the doll showed one of them a crack and they didn’t leave. They didn’t hurt it. They showed it how to make it better. Now as the doll looks at its skin, covered in golden lines filling in the cracks, at the painting done over the doll after it saw it somewhere else, the doll knows who it is. The doll feels like a person, not made for someone else, not to be used as a toy, but itself. It will always be a doll, made to be a toy but it doesn't have to only be that. It can be a person, something to be proud of.

[glowing-in-the-dark-and-sobbing]

Hello!

You may call me Jay! I use He/They/She pronouns and I am Aroace.

As the description of this blog states, I will be using this blog as a brain dump. Some will be happy, some will be odd, and most will be sad.

I welcome any one who reads to give advice or ask questions about their own life (I plan to work in mental health after college). I may take a bit to get back to you as I have the app muted on my phone but I will respond as soon as I can!