gluecifer42

[gluecifer42]

situation dire. i've been saying 'huzzah', 'alas', and 'tis unironically for like a year now. harmless so far.

however. i hath noticed i now mark half of my goodbyes with 'i must away'. it's spreading

[gluecifer42]

headache? not in the mood to partake in any of your hobbies because of the headache? consider simply staring at the Make Headache Worse rectangle!

[gluecifer42]

I need to admit something to the US Tumblrinas. Philadelphia isn't a place to me. It's a cream cheese. You say "philadelphia" or "philly" and I immediately, and exclusively, think of the cream cheese. "Twelve people die in Philadelphia disaster" wow that must've been a Molasses Flood style event

[gluecifer42]

Really getting into this thing called music? Y’all ever heard of this before? It’s wild, you should look into it

[gluecifer42]

I am going to kill [remembers suicide jokes are bad] a healthcare executive [remembers the fbi exists] haha just kidding [remembers that tumblr hates posers] but maybe I’m not [remembers The Alamo] The Alamo

[gluecifer42]

you can differentiate me from weevilwizard via subtle variations in our proboscis

[gluecifer42]

"the worst part of being a trans man is wearing boring plain masculine clothes" skill issue, i look cool as fuck

[gluecifer42]

really is embarrassing being known for being obsessed with a certain character bc if you start typing ‘arghhh i love Character so much Character is so peak’ it’s like yeah everyone knows. aw look grandma’s going on about her favorite old story again the fifth time this week

[gluecifer42]

that’s between me and my delusions

[gluecifer42]

flirting: omggg haha that amulet is so neat! Do you mind if I hold it?

[gluecifer42]

↖ this user has drank from the infernal river Lethe, which flows through Hades and brings total oblivion, eradicating all memory and thought

[gluecifer42]

People will straight up call your cellphone and expect you to answer

[gluecifer42]

Kurt Vonnegut really went off with "So it goes." Truly the most devastating 3 word composition in the english language

[gluecifer42]

the thing is that childhood doesn't just end when you turn 18 or when you turn 21. it's going to end dozens of times over. your childhood pet will die. actors you loved in movies you watched as a kid will die. your grandparents will die, and then your parents will die. it's going to end dozens and dozens of times and all you can do is let it. all you can do is stand in the middle of the grocery store and stare at freezers full of microwave pizza because you've suddenly been seized by the memory of what it felt like to have a pizza party on the last day of school before summer break. which is another ending in and of itself

[gluecifer42]

at the next inconvenience, i'm going to become a fish

[gluecifer42]

it really does only take one basket of laundry you procrastinate putting away before your whole life turns to shit huh

[gluecifer42]

fuck college…i am going to go be a trout………