go-to-sleep-asmi

[go-to-sleep-asmi]

Did Shakespeare ge ye?

been a wheile since i mad e post with slep nmes rellt hitting so can i just say SHOU T OUT TO TEXAS AND FUCKIN TEXAS MAN CALIFORNIA WOOOOOOOOOOOOO AMERICA LAND O THE GREE qow i am swayin and mad says sleep so i will sleep but

watch out for shakespeare

he'll ge ye

[go-to-sleep-asmi]

OMG YES YOU'RE RIGHT

Hello this is your periodic remind that I am plotting.

Gird your loinsacks and oil them up :3

[go-to-sleep-asmi]

NOOOOO DO NOT BAKE

Hello this is your periodic remind that I am plotting.

Gird your loinsacks and oil them up :3

[go-to-sleep-asmi]

LOOK HOW SPROINGY HE IS!

Hello this is your periodic remind that I am plotting.

Gird your loinsacks and oil them up :3

[go-to-sleep-asmi]

IS IT JUST ME OR IS MAKKA PAKKA MADE OUT OF BREAD DOUGH

Hello this is your periodic remind that I am plotting.

Gird your loinsacks and oil them up :3

[go-to-sleep-asmi]

Hello this is your periodic remind that I am plotting.

Gird your loinsacks and oil them up :3

[go-to-sleep-asmi]

Here's a bunch of cornstarch to thicken the plot

Hello this is your periodic remind that I am plotting.

Gird your loinsacks and oil them up :3

[go-to-sleep-asmi]

Plot away, dear prince, plot away

Hello this is your periodic remind that I am plotting.

Gird your loinsacks and oil them up :3

[go-to-sleep-asmi]

Did it work?

maggots go sleep

dear maggots i know for a FACT that it is past midnight for a lot of you fuckers, I've been going through my notifs and even I got sleepy enough that i'm taking a break and I'm going to nap and it's 3 in the afternoon where I am. if im sleeping im going to yell at you all to sleep too, because sometimes the crazy adopted child must take care of his internet family.

IF IT'S PAST 11 PM WHERE YOU LIVE CLOSE TUMBLR AND GO TO SLEEP YOU BEAUTIFUL IDIOTS I KNOW HOW SLEEP DEPRIVED YOU ARE. NOPE SHUSH-SHUSH-SHUSH NO EXCUSES GOODNIGHT. IF YOU HAVE INSOMNIA GO CUDDLE WITH A PILLOW OR SOMETHING GET OFF THE INTERNET IT'S GOODNIGHT BYEBYE TIME, AS I TELL MY DOGGY SISTER. Here's a photo of her sleeping. Are you inspired? GOOD. GO TO SLEEP. DREAM OF FLUFFY CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE THINGS. NIGHT NIGHT.

[go-to-sleep-asmi]

ASMI.

ASMI

Are you inspired? GOOD. GO TO SLEEP.

maggots go sleep

dear maggots i know for a FACT that it is past midnight for a lot of you fuckers, I've been going through my notifs and even I got sleepy enough that i'm taking a break and I'm going to nap and it's 3 in the afternoon where I am. if im sleeping im going to yell at you all to sleep too, because sometimes the crazy adopted child must take care of his internet family.

IF IT'S PAST 11 PM WHERE YOU LIVE CLOSE TUMBLR AND GO TO SLEEP YOU BEAUTIFUL IDIOTS I KNOW HOW SLEEP DEPRIVED YOU ARE. NOPE SHUSH-SHUSH-SHUSH NO EXCUSES GOODNIGHT. IF YOU HAVE INSOMNIA GO CUDDLE WITH A PILLOW OR SOMETHING GET OFF THE INTERNET IT'S GOODNIGHT BYEBYE TIME, AS I TELL MY DOGGY SISTER. Here's a photo of her sleeping. Are you inspired? GOOD. GO TO SLEEP. DREAM OF FLUFFY CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE THINGS. NIGHT NIGHT.

[go-to-sleep-asmi]

Asmi no

RIP to @howmanyholesinswisscheese's search history as he compiles the Detailed History of How I Became Good Omens Mascot, continuing @falling-raine's hard work. And fuck Tumblr's search engine.

YOU'RE DOING GREAT DAD KEEP UP THE WORK YOU WERE ALWAYS DESTINED FOR MORE THAN FARM LIFE ANYWAY (aka researching the descent into madness of some guy on tumblr who happens to be your son)

[go-to-sleep-asmi]

Oh look makka pakka is searching for something.

What are you looking for, Makka Pakka?

Asmi's sanity? Where ever could it be?

y'all ever had to take a shit so bad that you feel your internal organs starting to ossify like a rat's penis

[go-to-sleep-asmi]

Yes Asmi, you should sleep.

*strolls into tumblr and falls on my face pretending I haven't been missing for like a month I was out getting the milk hello maggots*

Doctor Who But I've Never Watched It 2.0

For those of you feeling deja vu YES I HAVE MADE POSTS ON DOCTOR WHO BEFORE OKAY but back then I was a young uneducated lad, just a fresh blossom unfucked by tumblr. Now I am surrounded by you lot and by god do y'all love Doctor Who. And I am Educated. My DW virginity is deflowered. All that.

SO HERE WE GO, EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SHOW I'VE NEVER WATCHED:

The show started in 1963, and then was rebooted in 2005 and the showrunner was... Robert de Neiro? Idk all I know is he gives Pedro Pascal vibes. Like his name. His name is Robert.

There have been 15 Doctors so far. One is a lesbian and it is not Jodie Whittaker, it is actually the 12th doctor.

There's someone called the Master. I don't know what that means, or if it's some kind of BDSM thing, but he has intense sexual tension with the Doctor.

He's also emo and has bleached hair and is kinda babygirl. And is called Missy.

The Doctors all have intense trauma and the 15th Doctor kind of girlbossed it by leaving David Tennant intact when they binary-fissioned.

Donna is a person played by Catherine... Tate? Not Hepburn. And she knows less about Doctor Who than I do. And Donna is in a QPR with the David Doctors (there are two of them).

David Doctor loves Donna very much. And then he kills her. But doesn't kill her. And then they have dinner together with her husband and kid.

The original show had shitty effects. The new show does too, and everyone is happy about this.

Rose is someone the David Doctor is in love with and then she ends up with a human AU of him and he leaves and the fans are very divided and passionate about this.

The human AU is called Tentoo because y'all hate using W's. What the fuck is Tentoo. What is Nuwho. Why isn't it New and Two. Help me.

THERE IS SOMETHING CALLED THE TARDIS, IT IS BIGGER ON THE INSIDE, I HAVE HAD WEIRD DREAMS WHERE IT WAS A FUCKING AUTO-RICKSHAW WITH RIBBONS FOR SEATBELTS, AND IT IS BLUE AND NOT YELLOW BUT IT WAS YELLOW IN MY DREAM. Because of a Drarry fanfic that I misread.

The 15th doctor dances homoerotically with someone during the French Revolution.

The 9th doctor kinda vibes with like his head jiggling idk I've only seen one gif of him.

The 13th doctor keeps forgetting she's in a woman's body.

It is all very gay.

David Tennant's arms are too long.

The sexiest person is a head.

The Meep's pronouns are Meep. Meep is not friend. IF NOT FRIEND THEN WHY FRIEND SHAPED??????

A buttcheek skin talks or something yeah this is all I got.

have at it y'all @robinprinceofchaos @multidimensional-trashcan @wispedvellichor @queermarzipan thanks for the second hand brainrot

*sneaks away under the cover of night* i was never here

[go-to-sleep-asmi]

MORNING NEWS WITH ASMI!

@wispedvellichor said he used to read my posts like it was the morning paper and now I've decided to inflict a new form of torture on you maggots.

ON TODAY'S MORNING NEWS (it's not morning. but whatever. it's morning in australia.) WE HAVE:

The stray dogs are howling outside. Perchance there is a gang war. Locals wonder if any of the dogs are gay (it's me I'm locals).

You don't have to fight with thoughts you have that you don't agree with. You can just let them be. You're not agreeing with them by staying silent. They're just chemicals. You don't have to burn down all the clothes in a store you don't wanna buy just to prove you dislike them. You can just. Let them be.

Antarctica is turning green. This is not gucci. Global warming sucks.

Homosexuality is at all all-time high.

I keep accumulating queer neurodivergent people even irl.

I have not eaten a mango in a while.

Traffic is insane during holiday season in this city.

AND NOW WE HAVE OUR WEATHER FORECAST:

Australia: Hot with a chance of thongs that are not melted but are definitely sweating rubber.

Asia: Rain and generational trauma.

Africa: Clouds and a sun that is definitely a sun and not anything else.

Europe: Falling leaves and the chill of a collapsing global economy.

North America: Icy winds and vague capitalist thunder in the distance.

South America: The smell of crumbling trees and hot abs of the trees.

Antarctica: Green. We been over this.

And here's a crossword, too!

[go-to-sleep-asmi]

Night Night Asmi

Here reblog this post with whatever you want

Anything your witchy little heart desires

But beware

I am watching you

[go-to-sleep-asmi]

Blog name spotted in court @multidimensional-trashcan @chaoticgenderflood @weirdly-specific-but-ok

[go-to-sleep-asmi]

You don't have to concede anything. Last I heard maggotdom was a monarchy and you're the prince

But we will be very happy if your eep follows India time and not Brazil time

Blog name spotted in court @multidimensional-trashcan @chaoticgenderflood @weirdly-specific-but-ok