gremlinsminion

[gremlinsminion]

i finally get why purple => bisexual lighting!!!

Real picture of Alice in Paris don't @ me

[gremlinsminion]

Whenever I see a post about how awful and stupid and out of character domestic devil's minion is I take serious psychic damage. The world sucks ass, let me have my toxic vampires being sweet for once. Let me live, damn.

But also, do we forget that they're like one of the most domestic couples in TVC? They're basically married for years, come on. Yeah, they're fucked up, but they have so many tender moments, and because the show has only given us episode 2.5 and a throwaway comment about "spite" so far, half the fandom thinks they're just 24/7 puppyplay and psychosexual torture. If that's what you like in your fics, fine, I enjoy a good fucked-up DM fic myself! And yeah, they do fucked up shit FOR SURE, but there's also soooooo much more to them.

I so desperately need the show to give us some tender moments with them so I can crack my popcorn open and start giggling and kicking my feet.

But regardless of any of this, THIS IS FANDOM!! PEOPLE ARE GONNA INTERPRET THINGS DIFFERENTLY TO YOU AND WRITE IN VARIED WAYS. LET PEOPLE LIVE. I've never seen fic policing like I've seen from some corners of this fandom, I swear to god.

I'm so sorry, I swear I go on this rant once a month. Anyway, go read something by @hummingbee-o0o, @graygiantess or @irisbleufic (or me 🥺) to get your domestic devil's minion juice. Meanwhile, I'M OFF TO WRITE THEM GOING TO AN AMUSEMENT PARK AND MAKING OUT TENDERLY ON THE FERRIS WHEEL *BLOWS RASPBERRY*

[gremlinsminion]

ASSAD ZAMAN as Armand

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (2024) 2.05 – Don't Be Afraid, Just Start the Tape

[gremlinsminion]

If someone erased all my memories of IWTV but let me keep one little thing, I’d keep Jacob Anderson’s smile.

[gremlinsminion]

A hundred nights in and you've grown bored. Only with acting.

[gremlinsminion]

🎶 And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like: "Give it to me! I won't waste it! I think you could use me! I think we have an energy, you and me! I could be your Lestat, your Claudia, but better! I mean, I got a little bit of both of them in me, plus a few things they don't." 🎶

[gremlinsminion]

Me🤝Assad🤝Armand

[gremlinsminion]

Achieved by Great Agony in Body and Spirit - Chapter 16

New chapter. They go clubbing. Happy Pride 🌈

[gremlinsminion]

Idk what stars would have to align for these 2 to hatefuck in the back of lestat's limo, but it would def be satisfying to witness.

Full: direct | Bsky

[gremlinsminion]

explain your gender in 10 words or less without using boring words like “male”, “female”, “nonbinary”, “masculine”, “feminine” or “androgynous”.

go!

[gremlinsminion]

ASSAD ZAMAN as Armand

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (2024) 2.03 – No Pain

[gremlinsminion]

You should tell us all about your fake academic text from the fantasy!Romans :3

So as you may or may not know, all my books are set in the same world. The fantasy!Romans are the ancient Lausans, who are evidently just straight up also The Actual Romans because I have been researching the SHIT out of this book (and beguiling several classicists out of the woodwork and into my DMs to lavish me with Trivia Facts and supervise my Latin homework) and, breaking news, the Actual Romans are too fucking hog wild to not replicate exactly one-to-one on the page.

Here are some hog wild fun facts about the Romans:

The Romans are incredibly misogynistic and bottomphobic so everything Bad is therefore Effeminate (interpret this in that snide middle-school "Ew that's GAY" thing that was everywhere in like 2005). This is fucking hilarious, actually. Hear me out.

Gayest (read: most Effeminate) thing you can do as a man? Eat pussy. Yes, this is legitimately more gay than bottoming. (it's because the mouth is considered sacred and oral sex is defilement.)

Other things that are Gay According To Romans: Having too little hair, having too much hair, not combing what hair you do have, shaving/depilating more of your body than just your armpits, not bothering to shave/depilate at least your armpits, wearing jewelry and makeup, not belting your toga tightly enough, being too fashionable, being too unfashionable, wearing threadbare or ragged clothes, chasing women (especially married women), having too much sex, having too little sex, having a particularly small penis, having an exceptionally large penis, dancing, playing musical instruments, being an actor, kissing your wife in public, being penetrated in any way during sex (whether by a man or a woman)...

Yes, you are reading this correctly: A hairy, rugged man with a huge dick who doesn't care about his personal appearance, has loads of sex, and enthusiastically goes down on other men’s wives is Effeminate According To Romans. I find this ABSOLUTELY HYSTERICAL. Roman men twisted themselves up into the kind of fragile Toxic Masculinity Anxiety the likes of which we have never seen and it's so so so so so so so funny. "YOU MUST BE COMPLETELY MID!!!! DEVIATING ONE INCH FROM MID IS GAY!!! [hyperventilating, feverishly accusing each other of being gay for, like, blinking too much or something]"

They are absolutely baffled by lesbians. Crying and shaking when they try to understand lesbians. They can't do it. It's like dividing by zero to them.

Romans do not think about sexuality in terms of "what gender are you attracted to", they think about it in terms of "what is your favorite hole and what do you want to do with it".

They therefore have six separate verbs for "to fuck" based on which hole you're talking about (ass, mouth, pussy) and whether you are topping or bottoming. (So like: pedicare, 'to fuck in the ass'; cevere, 'to be fucked in the ass'. irrumare, 'to face-fuck'; fellare, 'to suck cock'.)

Also, this is gender-neutral! So if someone is described as "He only fucks asses, not cunt" that's not saying he is gay. The ass could be attached to anyone, gender of the ass is irrelevant. Likewise "He only gets fucked in the ass" -- that could be by anyone, whether they own their own dick or bought one at the store or are using their fingers.

Huge hand-wringing at one point because OMG Guys We HAVE To Stop Fucking Twinks, The Twinks Are All Golddiggers And They Are Taking All Our Money, This Is The Downfall of Society. Evil Twinks Are Going To Tear Apart The Roman Empire. (cool of them)

You know about Catholic guilt and repression? Yeah the Catholics got it from the Romans. That's just Roman guilt and repression. It has been preserved across the centuries by the Catholics.

I do not have time to explain to you about Roman Gender Is As Much A Function of Social Class As Physiological Sex so you will just have to take it on faith when I say that the concept of "MAN" and "MANLINESS" and "MASCULINITY" is restricted SPECIFICALLY to Freeborn Male Citizens and nobody else, and therefore male slaves, freedmen, foreigners/immigrants, etc, should be considered an entirely different, separate gender.

(For more on all this nonsense you should read Roman Homosexuality: Ideologies of Masculinity in Classical Antiquity by Craig Williams. It is GREAT.)

These people are insane. Bring a bucket of popcorn and watch them be INSANE.

FINALLY, the last bit of trivia, and this is more directly related to the book (though all of the above will be in the book also):

Emperor Hadrian. You may know him from such things as Hadrian's Wall. If you are queer and a nerd, you probably also know him from things like Having A Ravishingly Beautiful Twink Boyfriend Named Antinous.

But did you know that after Antinous mysteriously drowned, Hadrian was SO FUCKED UP about it that he had Antinous raised to a god, named a city after him, spent the rest of his LIFE grieving him, and commissioned TWO THOUSAND SCULPTURES OF HIM, of which more than a hundred survive, making Antinous the third most-depicted person of classical antiquity. I am told that the vast quantities of Antinouses we keep finding all over the place legitimately kind of has fucked up art history. like "oh we've found a sculpture!!! .....it's another Antinous. ok put it in the warehouse with the other 285295802 of them." The Spiders Georg of art history. Twink sugar baby of all time. Honor his name.

Also twenty-two of these sculptures were found at Hadrian's house, and because of how antiquities and sculptures work, we can assume that others had been broken, looted, or otherwise removed, so he probably originally had more. It is entirely plausible for him to have had at least one statue of his beautiful dead boyfriend in every room. Because that's how we cope with heartbreak. I cannot overstate how shattered this guy was. He's like that guy on Reddit who's like "AITA for refusing to take down photographs of my dead wife? My new girlfriend thinks it's creepy that I have a photo of my late wife on my bedside table, a sexy pin-up poster of her hanging above my bed, and thirty others throughout the house. I don't want to take them down. She's so beautiful and I miss her so much. Edit: nvm just gonna dump the new girlfriend and buy a custom body-pillow of my wife" Except it's fucking thousands of the goddamn things and it is full-scale sculptures and busts and he is making it EVERYONE'S problem. That's the kind of Wife Guy Freak we are talking about with Hadrian.

Anyway so the book is about the fantasy version of Hadrian and Antinous, except it is a fake academic text -- that is, it is a fictional guy's PhD dissertation -- about a major archaeological discovery which reveals some huge new information that revolutionizes the field of Ancient Lausan History and what everyone knows about Fantasy!Hadrian and what happened to him. This is a book for people who read news articles about incredible archaeological finds and feel all breathless and starry-eyed with wonder for how amazing the world is; and who maybe get choked up about how easy it would have been for us to have NEVER discovered that thing that had been lost for centuries and how we would never have learned these new exciting things because of it if the archaeologists had been just little more unlucky; and also who feel a teeth-gnashing longing in their heart for "AH I WISH WE KNEW MORE, WHY DOESN'T THIS ARTICLE TELL ME *EVERYTHING* ABOUT THIS FIND!!!!! TELL ME!!!!"

(If this sounds like your jam, the Introduction to the academic text is available on my Patreon right now, or you can sign up for my newsletter if you want to be sure to get a head's up when I publish it :D)

[gremlinsminion]

The Company of Salomé in rehearsal. Photo by Richard Lakos © RSC

[gremlinsminion]

like ohhhhhhhh my god like oh my goddddddddddddddd

[gremlinsminion]

Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy? 🤨

[gremlinsminion]

the funniest part about the weird incest thing lestat has going on with his mom is that she isn’t even that into him!!

[gremlinsminion]

Two freaks at the club: the dry-humping prequel~*

And a close-up <3

Also on Bsky!