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whispering winds
i heard the most amazing thought today. i was being pulled in a certain direction by the holiest of spirits and i stopped to listen. and i heard him say, "you know how happy and known you feel when you get a direct answer to prayer? and you think, 'he really is listening, he heard me and he responded. he must really care...' well that's the same way that heaven feels when you respond to the holy spirit. when you stop and listen and act upon that voice and that whisper, heaven rejoices and says, look! she really is listening, she heard me and she responded..."
and just like that faith is a two way street. its not just that we are building our knowledge and trust of christ, but he is also building his knowledge and trust in us
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forever, forever ago
many of us talk about sacrifice a lot but we do not actually sacrifice when the time comes. many times a sacrifice must come to ashes and we look at that and think our sacrifice has come to nothing and many people drop the vision and walk away but we do not realize that the ashes are a proof that our sacrifice has been received by god.
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relief over rest
relief often feels like breakthrough when we are burnt out or weary. but its not breakthrough. its just a temporary respite from the fight. from the weariness. most of the time relief, as temporary and fleeting as it may be, is the seed we need for change. in the breaking of patterns, in the restoration of breath and hope and capacity to even think about and imagine a different better future, there is the opportunity and silent invitation to change, permanently. but change is work and one is tired and so enjoying and clinging to the in-definite peace.
so often, without even realizing it, we eat the seed of relief to lighten the weight of the current season. instead of sowing it so that it can multiply in abundance in the next season.
change is so much work. and its by definition unknown territory. but it is beyond necessary. it's uniquely imperative.
so often my purpose has been simply to create space. to hold up a weight so that frees someone else temporarily. so often people are thankful for relief and go right back to carrying the weight at the end of my time with them, rather than taking the opportunity to change something.
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too much & not enough
i suppose it is not enough to be strong and be selfish. strength only goes so far when it goes as far as you need it to. it ends up being weak. strength has to be paired with servitude. and a community to draw it out and pull on it til it stretches and breaks and then grows strong again.
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half speed
ive been humbled in my serving efforts. i used to ask for every challenge and as much and more than most were asked to handle. and now. i am weak. and i must ask for help just to keep my head above water. and i used to do pieces of several peoples jobs, all night long. but now. i only try to do my own. because i am weak.
still tho. i am proud of myself for being able to keep up with everyone else with one leg behind my back.
what did i even need all that extra strength for anyway? was it even working for me? it wasnt even working for me. it was mostly helping everyone else with things i didnt absolutely need to do.
that strength was for serving. but what good is that if i just need to serve myself?
#outofajob
#isitbettertobeweak
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gravitas
"You either face your demons, or they raise your children."
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2010
i got a call today from back when i was 21. and this boy was only 12. i was a safe place then and the feeling has remained engrained for all this time. he is looking for a safe place to be able to grow and i came to mind.
there is something to be said for empty spaces. for rooms that you dont know who will fill. that there is space and time to come and go.
who knows what seeds i planted in the tiny country of wales, so long ago and so dear to my heart. who knows if they will blossom and grow after all these years...
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sideways
the garden is growing again. i loaded up my car 4 x today with things that were being thrown away but were perfect for the garden. starting to get up again.
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cover up
had a conversation recently about a 12 yr old and 10 yr old with flat chests being shamed for wearing bikinis at the beach. being told they have to be modest because they can be stumbling blocks.
firstly, stumbling blocks are for the blind. they were literally sticks or rocks placed in front of the *blind* and only the blind because if you put a log in the way of a seeing person they can literally just see it and go around it, without even thinking twice. it is only those with darkened hearts that stumble, and if your heart, your eyes, are dark in a certain area why not let the light in? why not ask for healing?
there are so many topics and questions that jesus did not directly answer. im incredibly thankful that this is not one of them. and it wasnt a subtle nod or a gentle suggestion.
one of my favorite parts of the gospel is that when it comes to lust jesus gives a clear radical and definitive answer. instead of saying, like most churches preach, that if only women were modest and covered then we would avoid problems. no. thats not even close to what jesus says. he literally says, oh, well, if your eye causes you to sin then pluck it out?!?!? if you feel that what you see causes your heart to sin then best not to see at all and keep your heart and soul free.
so if you're going to call someone a stumbling block, then you have to also bear the physical weight of blindness.
#preach #blindleadingtheblind #talkaboutarealholinessmessage #jesusisthebest
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