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happyely · 12 days ago

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SUPER SHY (2/?)

You’re in desperate need of a bassist, and the only person available in the rumoured arsonist at your school.

Highschool!au, no quirks, bassist touya (angst this chapter)

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Touya is so distracting.

He’s laying on your bed, bass forgotten and collecting dust on the floor. A game of solitaire is open on his phone (again) and the sound of the cards shuffling are the only thing interrupting the silence that has enveloped the room. He’s not actually talking or saying anything, but just his presence in your room is enough to keep you distracted. The curve of his bicep as he rests his arm behind his head, the white curls of hairs falling into his eyes. You hate with everything in you how attractive he is.

The show is tomorrow night. You and Touya have perfected every song, and all that’s left now is to practise with the band. You figured you’d get in a last minute run-through before the two of you went over, which is why he’s at your house in the first place. That, and you also need to prepare him before he meets the rest of the band.

There’s only three others. Aizawa, Nana, and Ren. You’d all been friends for years, and met at the school's theatre production when you were freshman. You were all bushy-tailed and bright eyed, excited to be involved, also the youngest ones who had tried out for the band. Of course, you all had very minor parts being as young as you were, but it led to a friendship group you’d stuck out with all these years later. You all had similar interest and an undying love for music, and so a band just seemed like the viable next step. You’re sure they’ll all get along well with Touya.

Ren might be your only issue.

He’s protective over you. You’re ninety percent sure it’s because he has a little thing for you, if Nana’s constant teasing has any truth to it. That, and you think he and Shigaraki, one of Touya's closest friends, had some sort of trouble last year. But it should be fine. It’ll be fun.

Touya must notice your staring, because his eyes trail over to yours, impossibly blue under impossibly long eyelashes.

“You alright there?”

You roll your eyes at him. “We’re supposed to be practising. The show is tomorrow, you know.”

Touya scoffs. He doesn't move from his position on your bed, eyes still glued to his phone. You grab a pen from your desk and throw it at him.

He grunts. “Stop.”

“You stop playing solitaire and practise.” Your tone is scolding, but your resolve is weak, already breaking.

Touya grins at you behind his phone, lazy and teasing, clearly sensing how easily you’ll be swayed.

“Aw, come on. You know you wanna ditch it too.”

You hum under your breath. You mumble something about a bad influence, but it only takes a few more words for you to get off your desk and clamber onto your bed, sitting beside him. You lean a little closer and watch him as he picks up his phone and resumes the game.

“You can move the five there.”

He makes a noise in thanks. This close, the smell of his cologne, something woodsy and fresh, infiltrates your nose. He’s wearing only a black vest, a wifebeater as he loves to call it. He always runs hot, you’ve discovered, his blood always burning beneath his veins. Even though it’s only the start of spring, the sun peeking behind the clouds is enough heat for him to walk around half nude. Not that you necessarily mind.

He’s also comfortable enough to expose his skin to you, scars and all, a fact that leaves a warmth in your chest you can’t explain.

The comfortable atmosphere is broken when you feel him reach into his pocket for a pack of cigarettes. You sit up almost immediately and he tenses in preparation.

“No, no, Touya, you are not smoking in my room again!” You snatch them out his hand and he groans.

“Give me my cigarettes back, woman.” You smack his shoulder with them.

“Don’t call me that. And no, last time you smoked in here, my room stank and my mum thought it was me.” You frown, remembering the argument that had followed.

“It’s fine, I’ll tell her it was me. Your mum loves me.”

Your mum actually does love him. And your dad, surprisingly. You figured it was about time you told them about the boy you’d been hanging out with so much, which led to a very impromptu dinner at yours. He survived it though, through your dads interrogations and your siblings' attempts to piss him off. It helped that he’d come with a fancy bottle of wine he’d taken from his dads place, and a bright smile you rarely seemed to pull out of him.

“Someone has to.”

He sticks his tongue out at you and his piercing glints in the light of your room.

“Hey, the swellings gone down loads.”

You’d gone with him to get it done, about a week ago. The place had smelt like disinfectant and the man who’d done the piercing had tattoos all up and down his arms. You’d felt a little nauseous watching the needle go down through his tongue, but he managed it all with only a bored look on his face.

Touya sticks his tongue out further and you nod.

“It looks cool.”

“I know. That's why I did it.” He taps the stud against his teeth.

You glance around his face. “You have so many piercings. How do you go through the metal detector at the airport?”

“Bold of you to assume they let me fly.”

One on his eyebrow, one on his nose. You lose count.

You lean back on the bed and look up at him. “So how many do you have?”

He thinks for a second, before his eyes flit back to you. He fiddles with his eyebrow piercing and you wince as he pulls on it.

“Eight.”

“Okay. Eyebrow. Tongue.”

Your arm reaches up, pausing by his ear. He nods his approval and you brush his hair away from his ears.

“Two on each ear. Nose.” You pause. “That’s seven. Where’s the last one?”

Touya’s eyes dart down towards his sweatpants. Your eyes follow, confused. He grins, and realisation hits you and your face burns red.

“What- Ew, Touya what the fuck!” You yell, pushing away from him.

His laugh rings out into the room, boisterous and loud.

“God- I’m just fucking with you, look.” He starts pulling up his shirt and you screech.

“No, don’t get it out, you weirdo!” You cover your eyes but warm hands grip them and pull them down.

“Look, you idiot.”

You look down quickly. And he has a belly button piercing.

“Oh. Okay. That’s. That’s unexpected, actually.”

He’s still holding your hands and his palms are soft against your wrists.

“Looks cool, though.” You clear your throat, sliding your arms back in your lap.

“I always look cool.” He pulls his shirt back down and you slightly mourn the free glimpse of his defined stomach.

“You’re so cringe. Who calls themself cool?”

You lay back down and pluck his phone out his hand. You return to his game of solitaire, and he watches from your side, silently. A breeze flows in from your open window and Touya nudges your arm.

“You should get a piercing.”

You make a noncommittal noise, eyes focused on the screen. You’re close to winning, if you could only get a red four.

“Mom would kill me.”

“You’d look hot, though.”

That is enough to get your attention. You click his phone shut and sit up, crossing your legs.

“You think so?”

He hums under his breath. He’s half upright against your pillows, and you have to actively look away before your mind wanders.

“Yeah. Maybe, like.” He reached forward, and his thumb brushed against your top lip. “Here.”

The air in the room shifts as suddenly as he moves. You feel your face heat, and you nod slightly.

“You think so?”

Your voice sounds a bit breathless and you’re embarrassed. He’s barely even touched you and you’re already acting up.

“I do think so.” His voice has dropped an octave, and you know what he’s doing.

You’ve been hanging out with Touya almost everyday for the last two weeks, and the more you see him the more the little crush you’ve been developing grows. Can you be blamed? He’s attractive, he’s smart. He’s good with kids, too. You’ve seen Touya with his siblings, and despite how much he acts like he hates being an older brother, he loves spending time with them. And the way he takes care of his mother? You’re only human.

“Well. Maybe.” You grab your phone out of your pocket and flip the camera on. Your finger trails over where his just did, and you try to envision yourself with a hoop around your lip.

Touya sits up and scoots over to you slightly until he’s cross legged as well. Even sitting down he looms over you. He scratches his cheek absentmindedly, still staring at your face, eyes flitting between your features. You laugh, only a little nervous.

“It’s rude to stare, you know.”

Touya’s lip twitches into a smile. “I’m observing. What would suit you.”

“Everything would suit me, I’m beautiful.” You joke.

Touya hums. “You are.”

You eye him suspiciously. “You’re being awfully nice today.”

“Sorry. You’re really fucking ugly.”

You snort a laugh. “Okay, okay. Enough about my beauty. We need to mentally prepare.”

“To meet your friends?”

You nod seriously. He fixes you with a quizzical look.

“It’s really not that serious.”

“It is.” You frown. “I want my friends to like you.”

Touya smiles a little. His hands are fiddling with the edge of the long joggers you have on. “And why’s that?”

“Because. They’re important to me, and I like you, so-“

“You like me?” He teases and you brush him off, ignoring the flutter in your chest.

“Not like that, you narcissist.”

“Right.”

You quickly take your phone out, pulling up Instagram. You open Nana’s page first. She is not shy to post, her page full of selfies and photo dumps, stacked up with highlights and a thousand followers. You find a picture of her and show Touya.

“This is Nana. She plays keys, and she’s also my best friend.” You say.

He nods, swiping through the post you pulled up. “She’s cute.”

You’re making a face before you know it, and you quickly try to fix it before he notices. He does, of course. He never misses anything.

“She is. Yes.” You take the phone back, finding another page.

“This is Ren.”

Ren’s page is much like Nana’s, if a little more refined. His page is all shirtless selfies and pictures of his car. His following count is also quite high, full of practically every girl at your school.

“This is Ren. He plays drums.”

Touya sighs. “Him.”

“You know Ren?”

Touya bites his bottom lip, thinking. “Well. Kind of. Shiggy and him got into some shit last year, so we all don’t like him.”

You feel a little panicked at that. “But- But you’re all supposed to be friends. You can’t not like him. And he-“

“Chill out, Y/N.” He says softly. “It’ll be fine. As long as he doesn’t piss me off.”

You decide to ignore that to save yourself the stress. You don’t bother to try to find Aizawa’s page, because it’s barren. He has about fifteen followers, and no profile picture and no posts. You think the only reason he has an account is so that he can look at videos of cats.

You have pictures of him in your camera roll, though. It takes a few seconds, but you find a cute one of the two of you, and show Touya.

“Oh, that’s Aizawa, right?”

“Yeah. You have problems with him, too?”

Touya snorts. “No. He’s in my Biology class. Quiet guy.”

“Mhm. He’s really good at guitar.” You add, clicking your phone off.

Touya holds up a thumbs up. “I think I’m ready.”

You check the time, and wince a little. You should probably get going if you want to make it to Aizawa’s in time. You get up, walking to your closet to dig for some clothes to wear.

“We have to leave soon if we want to get there in time.”

You pull out the first shirt and pair of jeans your hands touch. You signal for Touya to turn around so you can get changed and he dutifully does. He digs in his pocket and pulls out a pack of mentos.

He pops one in his mouth.“Excited for tomorrow?”

You hum under your breath, fingers fumbling with the button of your jeans. You pull your hair out from inside your shirt. “Yeah. Nervous, too.”

The sun is starting to set outside, and it casts pink and orange light into your room. The pretty view outside only reminds you how late you’re going to be, and you start fixing your hair with more fevour. Touya takes all the cluttering around your desk as a sign you're done, and turns back around.

“Hey.”

You jump a little, startled, and the hair tie in your hair falls to the floor. You huff, shooting Touya a look. “What?”

“That’s my shirt, you thief.” He exclaims.

Upon inspection, it actually is Touya’s shirt. He’d left it here after he’d spilt something on it and you promised to wash and return it. The washing part happened, but the returning not as much

You smile sheepishly. “Sorry, sorry! I just grabbed the first thing I saw.”

It’s a nice top, to be fair. One of the faded band shirts he seems to have a never ending supply of. It’s oversized on his tall frame, so it fits you perfectly. Touya narrows his eyes at you, but there’s no anger behind it.

“Since I’m so generous and kind I’ll let you wear it.”

“I would’ve anyway.”

The car drive is short, even including the argument over who would have control of the aux. Your guitar is hanging heavy on your back and Touya’s bass in his. You knock four times on the garage door, stepping back so that it can creak open slowly.

Aizawa’s garage had been a tenth grade summer project for all of you. You’d needed a place to rehearse for the new band you were all starting, and Aizawa’s relatively empty garage seemed to be the perfect place to do so. You’d painted and spackled the holes in the walls, watched as his dad put in new carpet for you guys. Ren had figured out how to soundproof the walls so his parents wouldn’t be too bugged, and four chairs and a thrift store table later, it was ready. It became more than just a rehearsal spot, though. It’s where you guys hang out whenever you have the time, for Halloween pumpkin carving or Christmas movie marathons.

“Hello, guys, sorry we’re late.” You apologise, walking in.

You drop your guitar, immediately tackling Nana, who’s sipping on brightly coloured bubble tea, in a hug. With your arms around her, you turn both of you to point at Touya

“This is Touya, our emergency bassist and saviour.” You say.

Nana unhooks you off her, making an irritated noise as you grab her drink and take a sip. “Nice to meet you, saviour Touya.”

“Likewise.”

Aizawa only nods in greeting. He’s wearing big headphones he’s got plugged into his guitar, and his hair is tied up and in a bun behind his head. He looks focused, and everyone has the right mind to leave him be. He gets like this usually, laser focused on practising a riff or learning the hook of a song.

Ren doesn’t look too happy. He’s lounging back on one of the old chairs, manspreading if you’re being specific, eyes trained on his phone. He’s trying hard to look unbothered, but you’ve known him long enough to know he is very aware of Touya’s presence.

“Hey.” That’s all he can manage to say.

Touya smiles sweetly, and it’s a sight that makes you a little uneasy.

“Nice to see you too, Kimura.”

“Fuck off, Todoroki.”

You feel the tension rise the second Touya’s surname leaves his lips. Nana raises an eyebrow and you quickly rise to your feet, desperate to diffuse the tension until it starts.

“Okay, okay. Let’s put our dicks away, boys.” You laugh nervously. You turn to Touya. “You want something to drink?”

Touya sits on one of the chairs next to Nana, nodding at you. There’s a weird display of masculinity going on right now. You think it’s best to just ignore it. You kneel in front of the mini fridge, and grab a can of coke. You don’t need to ask him what he wants because you already know.

“Thanks.” He says, and the annoyance on his face melts a little as his eyes dart to yours.

“No problem. We'll start rehearsing once Aizawa’s out of the zone.”

Touya nods, slipping on his own headphones. The second he’s got his music loud enough for you to hear it seeping out, Nana stands to sit besides you on the floor.

“Oh my god. Is he hot or what?” She whispers and you snort a laugh.

“He’s my friend.”

“Yeah, right. I need that, girl.” She grins, clutching your arm.

You know Touya isn’t her type. She’s just trying to rile you up, and unfortunately, it’s sort of working. You brush her off, but you can feel the heat creeping onto your face. She making some questionable noises at you and you frown at her.

“He’s literally like, two feet away from us, shut up.” You hiss, elbow digging into her side.

Nana rolls her eyes, taking her drink back from you. “Girl, I can hear his music playing from all the way here. I don’t think he can hear us.”

“True.”

Nana grins. “So. Have you guys fucked yet?”

“Nana!”

Her peals of laughter don’t go unheard, and neither do her words. You catch Ren’s eye, and then the way they flicker to Touya for a split second, before back to you.

“Alright, I’m ready.” Aizawa suddenly speaks up, pushing the headphones off his head.

Everyone rises to their feet, slowly but surely. You’re about to start when you realise you’ve forgotten something pretty important.

“Oh, shit. We left the amps in the car.” You mumble.

Touya fishes the car keys out his pocket. “Come, let’s get them.”

You ignore Nana’s pinch to your side and follow him out. You wait until you're both out of earshot, the back door of the car covering you from sight, before you build up the courage to speak. Touya’s trying to untangle the wires from beneath the old blankets you keep in the trunk, and you tug his sleeve.

“Look, I know Ren is- He’s sort of, you know, stirring the pot.” You explain. “He’s just-“

“He’s got a thing for you, right?” Touya interrupts, finally tugging the wire out.

You stammer. “A thing?”

“A crush, a thing, whatever you want to call it.”

“You think?”

Touya hands you an amp, plucking the keys out of your hand so that he can lock the car.

“Oh, yeah. And he thinks we’re hooking up.”

You blink, a little caught off guard. His hand gently pushes you out the way so he can shut the door.

“I- He does?”

Touya just nods. “Look, I know from his shit with Shiggy and just him as a person that he’s fucking annoying.”

This is the last thing you need. This was your first proper show, unless you counted the times you’d played at proms at school. But those were free gigs and about an hour long. This was at a proper venue, and you were actually getting real money for it. And this weird little thing between Ren and Touya is not about to ruin it for you.

He must notice the dejected look on your face, because he coos. “Aw, don’t pout, doll. I promise I’ll be nice.”

You think your brain short-circuits a little at the nickname, swallowing roughly as he starts walking back, oblivious to the effect his words have on you. You follow behind him, a little lost, and Nana notices the slight blush on your face, narrowing her eyes at you.

“The fuck did you two get up to out there?” She whispers and you shove her shoulder to shut her up.

You all busy yourselves with plugging in your instruments, tuning them. You clear your throat, humming to warm up your voice.

“Okay, what song shall we do first?” You ask.

“Should we do that Paramore one? I keep fucking up the guitar on it.” Aizawa frowns, plucking at his guitar.

For someone who hasn’t practised with the others, Touya does well. Really well, actually, easily playing alongside you all like he’s been doing it his whole life. All the songs run smoothly, and by the end, your nerves over this whole ordeal have diminished. You guys sound great, and if you can pull this off at the show tomorrow you’re set. You clap your hands together.

“Oh my god, we sound great!” You grin, and Nana nods.

“We actually do. You did really well for your first time playing with us, Touya.” She says, and Aizawa hums in agreement.

Touya only shrugs. “Had a pretty good teacher.”

Ren scoffs behind you, and you turn around to see him standing up and shoving his drumsticks in his pockets.

“He plays like, the same three notes per song. You can call stop sucking his dick.” He mutters, sauntering over to the fridge.

Touya’s brows crease, but he just chooses to ignore him. He turns to Aizawa, holding up a pack of cigarettes you thought you’d successfully hidden in your room.

“Can I smoke in here?”

“If you give me one, yeah.”

Touya snorts a laugh and you scowl at the two of them. They go sit by the open door of the garage, and the wind blows the smoke up and out. The sky is cloudy with the threat of rain, but it’s still warm, warm enough that you can all survive with the door wide open.

“You guys are gross.” You say, and Aizawa waves you off.

“Yeah, literally.” Nana says weakly, already digging in her pocket for her vape.

You push her away from you, narrowly avoiding the puff of strawberry scented smoke that envelops the two of you. “Ew, blow it away from me!”

“But it smells good! Strawberry ice, girl.” She wiggles it in your face.

You get up, mumbling about lung cancer and early death. Ren takes your seat next to her, grabbing the vape out her hand. You sit as far as possible from all the carcinogens, allowing your disapproval for it all to sit clearly on your face.

“Come on, Ren, be a real man and smoke a cigarette.” Aizawa drawls, waving it in a way you think is supposed to be enticing.

Touya smirks, blue eyes glinting in the dim lighting of the garage. Ren catches the smirk and sends him a thunderous look, almost throwing the vape back at Nana.

“Fuck off. At least vaping is healthier.”

“They’re both unhealthy!” You exclaim, and Ren sends you a cheeky grin.

“Aw, don’t worry about me, babe. I’ll be okay.”

You smile faintly, a little bugged by being called babe, but you think it’s better for everyone if you just let that slide.

“I’m worried about all of you.” You huff.

Nana’s hand clutches her heart. “You’re so sweet. Don’t worry, I’m cutting back. One a week.”

Aizawa points the cigarette at her. “Good. And I only have a couple of these a week myself.”

Touya doesn’t say anything and you narrow your eyes at him. “Yeah, he is not cutting back. He smokes like, a pack a day.”

Touya smiles brightly at you and you can’t help but let your own slip onto your face. “My lungs are indestructible, babe.”

Everyone in the room catches the little dig at Ren.

“So. How’s everyone getting there tomorrow?” Nana speaks up in an attempt to change the subject.

Aizawa is driving himself and Nana, and Ren is coming in his own car.

“Im picking up Y/N.” Touya adds. Aizawa hands him an ashtray to throw the end of his cigarette in.

“Okay, perfect. They said we need to be there at six forty five, so they can get us set up.”

Nana bites at her bottom lip, quickly reading the email the venue had sent you guys. You were one of three bands playing, and since you were on first, you felt that much more pressure to do well. You set the mood for the night, after all, and the band the place liked the most would definitely be favoured for gigs in the future.

Nana was your impromptu manager, dealing with the schematics and informational part of everything. She nods her head, shutting off her phone and tossing it on the table in front of her.

“Don’t think there’s anything else we need to know. Just have to do better than everyone else performing.” She winks.

Ren is scrolling on tik tok beside her. Aizawa gets up and throws himself on a beanbag you’d bought him on his birthday, and Touya comes to sit beside you. The chairs are small and far too close, and so his thigh brushes against yours.

He perks up beside you. “Oh yeah, I was going to ask. Is it like a ticket thing? Or can anyone come?”

“Tickets. It’s at a bar, but the concert part is money.” Nana explains. “I think they’re like, five dollars?”

“Cool.”

He starts texting and you peer over his shoulder. “I’m being nosy, by the way.”

“Yeah, nothing new there.”

You nudge his shoulder and he laughs a little. “I’m texting Toga. She said she and the others wanna come watch.”

“Aw, really? I miss them.”

Touya makes a face. “Gross. Maybe I won’t invite them, then.”

“Invite who?”

It’s Ren asking, funnily enough. His phone plays the same video on loop, but his eyes are trained on you and Touya.

“My friends.”

“What friends?”

Touya furrows his brows. “That any of your business?”

“It is when all your friends are crackheads and criminals.”

Nana’s mouth drops open, and Touya sits up a little. His jaw clenches and it’s as angry as you’ve ever seen him. The careful way he’s looking at Ren is foreign to you, and it makes you a little nervous.

“What did you just say?” His voice is low, dangerous, and you feel a desperate urge to diffuse this situation before it gets worse.

“Okay, guys, let’s-“

“I said I don’t want any of the drugged up freaks you call friends at the gig tomorrow.” Ren snarls.

“The fuck is your problem?”

“My problem is-“

“Okay!” You yell.

This is pissing you off, if you’re being honest. Ren is pissing you off. You’re adults, for god sake, can’t he just act like one for once? All this over some stupid drama from years ago. You fix him with a stare.

“Can I talk to you, please?” Your polite words are paired with a tone so annoyed that he doesn’t try to argue, stomping off into the house.

You follow after him quickly. You all know your way around Aizawa’s place like it’s your own, so Ren has no trouble finding the fridge and yanking it open with a little more aggression than necessary. He grabs a can of coke, cracking it open. You watch it fizz over his fingers as he takes a long sip of it. You cross your arms. You feel sort of like a teacher right now, scolding a student who won’t stop misbehaving.

“Ren, what is going on with you today?”

“Me?” He laughs sarcastically, can clinking against the table. “What’s going on with you?”

He must sense the confusion radiating off you, because he shakes his head, exasperated.

“First of all, you didn’t even ask me if you could invite him to the band.”

“I didn’t know I had to run shit by you.” You snap, but Ren rambles on.

“And he was just supposed to play bass for us! You’re not supposed to be friends with him!”

He looks so frustrated, running a hand through his black hair, that it only begins to make irritation trickle beneath your veins.

“And who the fuck are you to tell me who I’m supposed to be friends with?”

“I’m not-“

“But you are. You didn’t even give him a chance, Ren, you just started being a dick from the jump!”

Ren stammers. “I- I just don’t think he’s the best person to hang out with.”

“Why the hell not?”

“He’s bad news, Y/n!” He says. “I mean, you’ve heard the rumours, I know you have. He’s got a criminal record, too, and he fucking burnt down his own house!”

Those are all rumours. You’re sure of it. Touya wouldn’t do something like that.

“You don’t know that. You don’t know anything about him!”

“Y/N-”

“No.” You cut him off and his mouth snaps shut. “You can’t hate him before you give him a chance. Even if you got into shit with his friend, because funnily enough, they’re two different people!”

Ren falters a little. He rubs his eyes, shrugging. “I- I’m sorry, i just. I’m just worried about you.”

You sigh. “Touya is not some super villain. I- I don’t need you to worry for me. I'm not stupid.”

“I know. But you’re my best friend.”

You know he’s just trying to make you forgive him by being all nice. You hate that it’s actually sort of working. If not for his sweet talk, you can see the words sinking in, see the guilt etched on his features.

Ren is a hothead, but he isn’t an idiot. One of the things you like about him is that he’s never too ashamed to admit when he’s in the wrong, despite how angry and in the right he seems to act like he is.

He pulls off the tab of his coke can, fiddling with it idly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been such a dick to him.”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have.”

He frowns a little. “I’m trying to apologise, you know.”

“You should be apologising to Touya.”

“I will, I will.”

He holds out the tab to you. It’s a stupid tradition, one that has been going on for years. You give him your bottle caps and he gives you his soda tabs. It’s not tradition now, but a peace offering. You smile despite yourself, grabbing it from his hand.

Ren grins. “I knew you couldn’t stay mad at me.”

“Don’t push it.”

Ren does in fact apologise. Its stilted words and a weird dap up you think means Ren is forgiven. You don’t really understand men. You and Touya decide to take your leave soon after that. He waits patiently as you hug everyone goodbye, before you both get in the car and start driving home.

If you’re being honest with yourself, you can’t stop thinking about what Ren had said.

It’s not that you don’t trust Touya, or that you’re scared of him. You just wonder if there’s any truth to all of it. The criminal record, the whole house rumour. You’ve heard it before of course. It was all anyone could talk about when Touya had arrived at school with burn scars all over his body, face even more thunderous than usual. You hadn’t cared though, because you hadn’t know him. But now? You’re friends, maybe something more, and you do care.

You don’t know how you’d feel if it’s true. Would it change how you saw him? How you felt about him?

Touya senses your silence besides him. No music plays on the radio, just the low hum of the car driving down the silent roads. You pull up to his house, but when you turn off the ignition, he doesn’t move, and neither do you.

“So. What did he say to you?” Touya speaks.

He’s tense. He’s not looking at you, but instead out his window, his leg jogging up and down.

“Nothing, he just. You know.” You mumble.

“Y/N.” Touya speaks so sternly. Your fingers fiddle with the hem of your shirt.

“He said that he was worried about our friendship. Because you have a criminal record, and. You burnt down your house. Apparently.” You say softly.

The words feel stupid as you speak them, and you can feel the atmosphere in the car get heavier. You steal a look at him and he’s nodding slowly, avoiding your gaze completely.

“Right.”

It’s evening now, the sun set, late enough that even the street lamps aren’t on. You’re both sitting in the dark, only the sounds of your breathing cutting through the silence. It’s quiet for about thirty more seconds before Touya speaks up.

“My dad used to hit us.”

He speaks quickly, like he needs to get the words out before he loses the courage. You don’t know what to say, so you say nothing, ignoring the sinking feeling in your chest.

“Not the others. Mainly just me and mom. But fuck, if he didn’t used to beat the shit out of me.” He laughs, but there is no mirth in it, just a bitterness that makes you shiver.

Touya turns to you. He lifts up his shirt, and by his ribs, there's a long jagged scar, stretching a few inches over his stomach. “He knocked me into a glass table. Twenty stitches.”

He still won’t look at you, eyes darting to your hand tight on the steering wheel, his lap. He licks at his lips.

“I was an angry kid. I was just so fucking angry all the time.” He swallows. “So yeah, I drank and I smoked. I stole and did illegal shit and I do have a criminal record. I did shit I’m not proud of and shit I wouldn't do now.”

He runs a hand through his hair. It’s not the first time and it stands on end, messy and tangled.

“Your dad always seemed like kind of a prick.” You mumble.

Touya huffs a laugh. “Yeah. You have a good eye.” He leans his head back on the chair.

“The house wasn’t me.”

You feel yourself let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You knew he’d never do something like that, but it was a relief to hear it from him nonetheless.

“It was a faulty gas line. I’d- I’d never put the others in danger. Never. The reason my skin is as fucked as it is is because I went back in, not because I started it..”

You look at him, confused. “You went back in?”

“Shoto. He was- He was in there. Parents weren’t home, and it was just us kids. The rest of us got out but. Fucking- Couldn’t reach the door handle. The firefighters weren’t there yet, so-“

“You went back in.” You almost whisper the words, scared he’ll catch the emotion cracking your voice.

Touya was fourteen when it happened. And you can’t even imagine having to run into a burning building now, as an adult. You picture a rosy cheeked Touya, coughing through smoke, fighting through the heat and the flames licking his skin all to save his baby brother.

“Oh, Touya.”

He finally does look at you then, and his face twists at the emotion clouding yours. He smiles weakly, the corners of his lips only just tugging up. Touya reaches forward and grabs your hand in his.

“Don’t look so sad.”

“You- Oh, god. I’m going to kill Ren.”

He just shrugs. “He’s not the first to think like that. And he won’t be the last.”

You feel like shit. For him, and for the shitty circumstances he’d been dealt. The fact that, even four years later, he was still suffering consequences for something that wasn’t even his fault. And he’s not wrong. You’d thought those things of him, what felt like a million years ago. But that doesn’t make it okay. You tell him as much, and he softens a little.

“Don’t worry about it, doll. I’m a big boy, I can handle it.” He teases.

His hands are calloused. You run your fingers over the scarred tissue on his palm, the wrinkles on his fingertips. “This doll business is new.”

He’s watching you closely, watching your fingers trails over him delicately. “You don’t like it?”

“I never said that.”

You sigh. “I’m sorry about Ren. He- He means well. Just struggle with his delivery, that's all.”

“Yeah, trust me, I did not feel threatened by him.”

You giggle, despite yourself. “Alright, not too much. He’s my friend.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

You wait a beat. “Thank you for telling me.”

He only nods. “S’fine. Don’t get all sappy on me now.”

Your mouth drops open. “Well, excuse me for trying to be heartfelt.”

“It’s fucking cringey.”