heartless-aro

[heartless-aro]

I’ve seen a lot of intersectional aromantic discussions this week (yay!), but not if you’re aromantic and disabled.

I’m aromantic and disabled. In one aspect, my disability is a relief as people stopped harassing me to pursue romance. That’s abeism saying disabled people shouldn’t perpetuate their genes and die out quicker. It’s also ableism saying alloromantic disabled people shouldn’t have full access to society. But, and this is a big but, society also expects romantic partners to look after disabled people for free so society doesn’t have to. As a disabled aromantic, I’m missing a huge support network, of a live in carer and an additional family. I can’t exchange romantic feelings for basic care because I don’t have those feelings to tender. Factor in the aro-phobia of living costs based on two people co-habiting (usually sharing a bed/room) and being unable to work and relying on state income - how am I supposed to afford a place to live?

Please look out for your aromantic and disabled friends. We don’t have the same social support network because society doesn’t want us. In society you’re expected to be productive with your labour, be it exploitation for wages or giving birth. I can’t do one and have no interest in the other. That found family trope you love so much in fiction? Apply it to aromantic people and disabled people in real life.

[heartless-aro]

I am aromantic and life is beautiful.

I’m told that I should long for a lover’s embrace so that I may be made whole, but when I feel sunlight dancing on my skin or laughter vibrating in my chest or air filling my lungs with life, I know that I am already whole. I’m told that there’s no greater joy than the taste of someone else’s lips, but I have smelled the rain and tasted warm food after coming inside from a storm and held an instrument in my arms and fallen into the music I create until it feels inseparable from myself, and I know that I have felt true joy. I’m told that I should fear being alone, but there is a community of people like me, and I know that I will never be truly alone.

I’m told that my life is missing something that will give me meaning, but I have seen the stars shining in the sky and admired the golden glow around the clouds during a sunset, and I have looked out at the ocean as far as my eyes can see, and I have met people who are so wonderfully and intrinsically different from me that I can never fully understand their experiences, but can only squint at those experiences and view them through the blurry lens of my own, and so I know that the universe is far too infinite for meaning to only exist in one form, in one place. I am aromantic and I am alive and I am so, so happy to be who I am.

[heartless-aro]

Look at me. Listen. QPRs are not a compromise. They are not compensation. They are not "romance-lite". Aro people in QPRs are not getting into them because they feel the need to somehow fit in with allos by making up for their lack of romantic interest in the form of putting extra emphasis on loving their best friend.

[heartless-aro]

"all men are basically aromantic" <- you're telling me that you conflate aromanticism with (men) being "heartless", non-committal, emotionally distant, selfish, uncaring, and so misogynistic they can't or don't see the value in creating deep emotional bonds with women. which is arophobic cause that's not what aromanticism is and most of those are already existing negative stereotypes of aromantic people

[heartless-aro]

Guys, it got so much freaking worse. KOSA is bad, but SCREEN is even worse, somehow.

"Sen. Mike Lee has introduced the SCREEN ACT, a bill that applies the "harmful to minors" standard used to ban LGBTQ+ books and resources in schools and libraries and apply it nationally to the internet.

Any site that has any amount of material "harmful to minors" would be forced to employ surveillance tech (biometric scans, ID uploads, background checks) to prevent minors from accessing "pornography."

You will not be surprised to learn that this is backed by the Heritage Foundation.

Unlike some of the state age-verification laws, many of which are being challenged in court, SC will be enforced by the FTC, which has the ability to levy fines, raid business and freeze bank accounts. Yes, meaning that even non-for-profits like Ao3 will suffer.

This is something for all US users to keep on their radar. Call your reps, call your senators, and spread the word to protect our archive!"

- When talking with Republicans play up the fact that this would force Elon to implement age verification systems on X (yes do call it X during the call). Elon's been threatening to primary Republicans who stand in his way so there's fear of him. Also play up concerns about "Liberals" doxxing people or Chinese hackers.

- When talking with Democrats, play up the connections to Project 2025 and suggest voters will not be happy to see Democrats siding with it.

Republicans:

Ted Cruz, Texas (Chairman) - Phone: (202) 224-5922

John Thune, South Dakota - Phone: (202) 224-2321

Roger Wicker, Mississippi - Phone: (202) 224-6253

Deb Fischer, Nebraska - Phone: (202) 224-6551

Jerry Moran, Kansas - Phone: (202) 224-6521

Dan Sullivan, Alaska - Phone: (202) 224-3004

Marsha Blackburn, Tennessee - Phone: (202) 224-3344

Todd Young, Indiana - Phone: (202) 224-5623

Ted Budd, North Carolina - (202) 224-3154

Eric Schmitt, Missouri - (202) 224-5721

John Curtis, Utah - Phone: (202) 224-5251

Bernie Moreno, Ohio - Phone: 202-224-2315

Tim Sheehy, Montana - Phone: (202) 224-2644

Shelley Moore Capito, West Virginia - Phone: (202) 224-6472

Cynthia Lummis, Wyoming - Phone: (202) 224-3424

Democrats:

Maria Cantwell, Washington (Ranking Member) - Phone: (202) 224-3441

Amy Klobuchar, Minnesota - Phone: (202) 224-3244

Brian Schatz, Hawaii - Phone: (202) 224-3934

Ed Markey, Massachusetts - Phone: (202) 224-2742

Gary Peters, Michigan - Phone: (202) 224-6221

Tammy Baldwin, Wisconsin - Phone: (202) 224-5653

Tammy Duckworth, Illinois - Phone: (202) 224-2854

Jacky Rosen, Nevada - Phone: (202) 224-6244

Ben Ray Luján, New Mexico - Phone: (202) 224-6621

John Hickenlooper, Colorado - Phone: (202) 224-5941

John Fetterman, Pennsylvania - Phone: (202) 224-4254

Andy Kim, New Jersey - Phone: (202) 224-4744

Lisa Blunt Rochester, Delaware - Phone: (202) 224-2441

SCRIPT

Hi, my name is [], and I am one of Senator []’s constituents. I live in [city, zip code - leave your full address if leaving a voicemail].

I am calling in regards to a bill that was recently introduced in the Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transport: the SCREEN act.

I am asking Senator [] to either take no action or vote against this bill because of its implications for freedom of speech. [insert one of the other concerns listed above]. Thank you for your time and for listening to my concerns.

[heartless-aro]

IF YOU ARE UNMARRIED, DON'T HAVE KIDS, AND HATE YOUR PARENTS PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HAVE A FUCKING WILL

this has been a public service announcement from your friendly neighborhood probate lawyer

[heartless-aro]

yeah this is where this was always gonna fuckin go, unfortunately

she’s 35 years old, by the way

[heartless-aro]

"Single people are on average less healthy, less financially stable, and overall less satisfied with life than partnered and married people are. This must mean that monogamous relationships and marriage are the solution to society's problems"

Huh, it's almost like society, both socially and financially, is set up to specifically benefit people who have monogamous relationships and get married and punish people who don't partner or get married. It's almost like there are financial benefits that exist specifically to incentivize people to get married and have kids and be a nuclear family. It's almost like it was very culturally normal until very very very recently to just not have any deeper platonic relationships after you get married, meaning that single people past a certain age just get left behind and get treated as spinsters or loser bachelors. It's like life just is not designed for single people to be able to easily participate and survive while still being single. Huh, very weird. I'm sure marriage will fix this.

[heartless-aro]

“You don’t want to die alone, do you?” Maybe I do. Being alone is great. As we speak, I am fantasizing about you leaving me alone.

[heartless-aro]

went on someone’s blog who didn’t post in over a year and their last post was about getting married. like your marriage is more important than posting on tumblr? grow up

[heartless-aro]

“Do it scared” “do it badly” it’s time to drop the guide for do it alone

[heartless-aro]

With all my heart, I believe in the possibility of a better world, where everyone has the right to choose whether or not they will seek out a partner. Someday, being able to live as single or nonpartnering will be a right granted to all people, not a privilege available only to those of us who are lucky enough to have access to that option. I believe in a future where no one is ever again sold into child marriage. I believe in a future where unmarried people considered women under their countries’ laws will have equal access to medical care, will not be pressured or coerced into quitting their jobs, will have the right to get a passport and travel, and will not be kept prisoner in their own homes by laws which require them to have male chaperones.

Until we are living in a better world, we cannot look away from the suffering of those who don’t have the freedom to live without a romantic and sexual partner. This includes not only fellow aromantics but all those whose rights are dependent on entering into a heteronormative relationship, whether they’re gay, divorced, a widow, or just someone who — in another life — would have preferred to be single. We cannot forget that for all the difficulties that come with being nonpartnering in the West, the fact that we have that option in the first place is a privilege that not everyone is afforded.

[heartless-aro]

"not romantic or platonic but so devoted the lines blur" rolls my eyes so hard they fall out of my head. you know that there's nothing about platonic relationships that limit them to a certain amount of devotion, right. you know this is an incredibly obnoxious and shitty way to talk about platonic relationships and makes a lot of weird and implicitly arophobic assumptions and assertions right. you know you can just enjoy the way you interpret or depict a dynamic without implying or outright saying that other interpretations (particularly specifically and explicitly platonic ones) are less interesting/complex/devoted/interesting/whatever. right. right.

[heartless-aro]

Sometimes I think about a post I once saw on a legal advice subreddit years ago where a straight person and an aromantic person from two different countries wanted to marry platonically but worried that this would be considered “marriage fraud” since their relationship was not romantic. I sometimes wonder how often that happens. How often is aromanticism a barrier to immigration? How many aromantics are forcibly kept away from their non-romantic partners on the assumption that their marriage would be a “fraudulent” marriage entered into for immigration benefits? How many aromantic people are there who would give anything to build a life with a person they care about in another country, but don’t even consider it worth trying to jump through all the extra hoops of convincing immigration agencies that their non-allonormative marriage counts as a legitimate partnership?

[heartless-aro]

there should be more romance repulsed characters. there should be more aro characters in general but i deserve characters who would rather throw themselves off a skyscraper than be in a romantic relationship

[heartless-aro]

"aros can still date" well i don't want to. "aros can be in qprs" well i don't want to. "aros can still get married" i cannot stress enough how much i don't want to do that. "it can be completely platonic" i don't care i still don't want to. "aros can still go on dates and kiss people and act indistinguishably from an alloromantic person" why are you so hell bent on us fitting into amatonormative society as much as possible. "aros can still love" is this just to make you feel better? it feels like it's just to make you feel better

[heartless-aro]

Whoa, this film opens up with the main character saying she rejects the idea that you need to fall in love/get married to have happiness and she isn’t interested in finding a partner, surely THIS time she won’t fall in love by the end of the movie