hivebite-blog

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herdsheep‌.

In this world of Khthonios a cat is no longer a cat. It is Khthonios, maybe. Or it is not. But the knowledge that it could be them is enough. Pluto’s legs stiffen when the cat rubs against them. Their jaw clenches. As though it is burs scraping along their heels and not a cat. It feels that violent. If Khthonios could become the sky like they can become priests and sheep and mothers, Pluto wonders, would wind still come to carry a child’s kite, still spread pollen and fruit seeds across fields? They won’t ask. They’ve already decided what the answer would be.

Khthonios‘s voice warms Pluto, fills them like a church bell. Pluto can feel how easily Khthonios is something you could slip into. Open to. Die to.

So, Pluto stays stiff, like frosted blades of grass. Purposefully. Their fists are squeezed so tight that they quiver with each heartbeat. They keep their body uncomfortable to keep their body their own. And find the comfort in this.

Slowly, calmly, like dragging glaciers:

          “Death is natural. I accept it. You are not natural.”

Earnestly, genuinely:

          “Why must you be the world? It is enough. It is enough to be in the world. You do not have to become it.”

‘ I do. ’

Without purpose, what is it, other than several thousand hollow corpses walking single file over the edge of a great chasm? Is it not enough, it wonders, to do something because it makes you happy? Because it makes you feel whole? 

‘ Perhaps I gave you too much credit. ’ 

The guilt Pluto tries to conjure is like thick, black smoke that crawls down its one throat, but there are worse things stirring in Khthonios’s gut. Stronger, stranger things. Things that can swallow smoke, things that can expand and wrap around it, smothering it from all sides. Feeling such a thing and letting it rot you from the inside-out is such single-minded nonsense, it crushes the seeds of such negativity before it gets the chance to sprout. Before it can think about sprouting.

Still, it doesn’t enjoy such talk. It does not like to be talked down to.

‘ Do you ever worry about what it will be like when all your sheep die and you are alone without them? Do you worry about long winter nights when you are so cold and so hungry and so alone and they are all almost dead and so are you, and you think, oh, there is no use letting us all die.

Do you ever worry that I am the sheep you herd? That I was the ewe that bore them and the farmer that delivered them. Do you worry that if you eat a creature I have taken, then I will be inside you, too?

Do you worry about being the only one left? The only one allowed to speak from your own mouth?

You would never know the difference. Maybe I am already inside of you. Maybe I am looking through your eyes right now, looking at me, wondering if it could be true, wondering if it has always been true.

It is hypothetical nonsense, and we both know it. My point is that there is no point overthinking it. You will be dead and in the ground with before I am done. ’

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Ian McShane as Mr. Wednesday in American Gods Season 1

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strange omens gather at the end of the street

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After sunset, padded footsteps softly pace down every hall.

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herdsheep‌.

@hivebite

Pluto’s jaw juts out, shifting like a tectonic plate. When they move toward Khthonios, their shoulders churn, slow and wave-like. Their sheep are safe–miles away. This gives them comfort and the chance to be unreserved. Their gaze is as slick and sharp as two iced ponds, pupils open like two wine-dark holes.

Pluto speaks softly, gravel-y, it makes their words sound like they’re rumbling:

          “I am not the same as you. I am a shepherd. I am better for it. I am better.”

‘ No one is the same as me. ’

And yet, everyone (here) is, aren’t they? They speak using one mouth and a voice that is smooth like silk and velvet, the sort that warms your chest, makes you shiver. There is a cat, small and white with a black patch on its back. The cat rubs its head against pluto’s shin, curling its tail around their ankle. It’s just a cat. It curls at Pluto’s feet and closes its eyes, like it will sleep there. It still listens.

It smiles with its one mouth.

‘ You are no better. We do what we must, and I must do this. For you, for everyone. These people will die without me, as your sheep will die without you. ’

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ultimately there should be no way for anyone to interact with khthonios but they’re curious enough to not assimilate every single person they meet immediately. anyway, here are some places a person could coexist with khthonios

a rebel who kills lone khthonios’s that have somehow been separated from the herd. they deserve it, don’t feel bad. don’t think about the fact that khthonios can vacate these bodies at any time and give this person back their agency just so you can hold them as they die (or fake it, in any case). it truly is the only way to get rid of khthonios/defend yourself from being assimilated but it’s really a lose/lose no matter which way you look at it! 

join the cult of khthonios. fan it with leaves and feed it grapes and carve statues of it into marble. you get to keep your mind and live in a castle but there are no other benefits 

diplomats and traders. exactly what it says on the tin. you will probably have to sit behind bulletproof glass to supervise khthonios unloading goods so that it can’t assimilate you and then go through a rigorous screening/quarantine process upon returning to your home country 

feel like khthonios opens up tourism but there’s no chance any country would ever let you go to france and allow you to return. khthonios is super psyched to have a visitor though. you get the tour, and they’ll probably let you go home unassimilated but no one’s going to believe you so it doesn’t really matter anyway

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CHARACTER FLAWS. TAGGED BY:  @dogfake!

TAGGING:  i’ve already tagged ppl! definitely do this n tag me tho!

Bold the ones that apply to your character. Italicize the ones that sort of / occasionally apply.

absent-minded | abusive | addict | aggressive | aimless | alcoholic | anxious | arrogant |audacious | bad liar | bigmouth | bigot | blindly obedient | blunt | callous | childish | chronic heroism | clingy | clumsy | cocky | competitive | corrupt | cowardly | cruel | cynical |delinquent | delusional | dependent | depressed | deranged | disloyal | ditzy | egotistical |envious | erratic | fickle | finicky | flaky | frail | fraudulent | guilt complex | gloomy | gluttonous | gossiper | gruff | gullible | hedonistic | humourless | hypochondriac | hypocritical | idealist | idiotic| ignorant | immature | impatient | incompetent | indecisive | insecure | insensitive | lazy | lewd |liar | lustful | manipulative | masochistic | meddlesome | melodramatic | money-loving | moody| naive | nervous | nosy | ornery | overprotective | overly sensitive | paranoid | passive-aggressive| perfectionist | pessimist | petty | power-hungry | proud | pushover | reckless | reclusive |remorseless | rigorous | sadistic | sarcastic | senile | selfish | self-destructive | shallow | sore loser | spineless | spiteful | spoiled | stubborn | tactless | temperamental | timid | tone-deaf |traitorous | nonathletic | ungracious | unlucky | unsophisticated | untrustworthy | vain |withdrawn | workaholic

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dogfake‌.

@hivebite continued from here.

They’re staring at her–close, very close–and they’re not stopping. It’s not an inviting stare. It’s an enveloping one. You could get claustrophobic under this stare. Dr. Barks doesn’t realize she’s holding her breath. Do you take commissions? The whole lungful of air spurts out through their nose. Do they know? How? And how much? And why haven’t they reported them?

She gives an exaggerated, pointed stare back as though to say this is what you look like.

          “That is a very odd question you have asked me. Why do you ask it?”

it doesn’t falter. 

‘ i represent someone who wishes to know more. ’  or, more accurately, who wants to be told more. eating the knowledge from the inside of someone else’s brain really isn’t the same as an elevator pitch, is it?

‘ this is my proposal: we have money, and we’d be happy to give you some, in exchange for... ’  they pause, rolling their tongue in their mouth, like that’s how they’ll find the words,  ‘ demonstrations. multiple. ’

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“probably  best  you  didn’t  say  anything  to  them .”

hill house

‘ and cut this encounter short? ’  they lean closer, and closer, and keep on going ‘til they’re only a few uncomfortable inches apart.

khthonios’ eyes are sharp and intrusive. there is something in the way they’re looking at the doctor that might make them feel as though they’re peeling back each layer of skin to reveal the secrets that lie underneath. they look like they know - not just the elephant in the room, but each and every interesting thing that might be lingering beneath that disheveled exterior. 

they pull back abruptly, unsmiling. 

‘ do you take commissions? ’

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me every night after all my mutuals have gone to bed: get on khthonios get on khthonios g

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“When it feels scary to jump, that is exactly when you jump, otherwise you end up staying in the same place your whole life, and that I can’t do.” Oscar Isaac in A Most Violent Year (2014)

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metuere‌.

“I don’t like this squirrel and I don’t respect it. This squirrel has killed a lot of people. Did you know that. Squirrels are not supposed to do that.” 

‘ How would you know? If anything, this is a remarkably intelligent and resourceful squirrel. It should be praised, not eaten. ’

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@metuere

‘ That squirrel did nothing to you. ’

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A Look ™

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hmmmmm tiny starter call ..

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(    *   & .   —   THE  HAUNTING  OF  HILL  HOUSE  SENTENCE  STARTERS

*   warning   :   may  contain  spoilers  for  episodes  one  through  ten .

‘  if  you  were  me ,  you  wouldn’t  be  such  a  fucking  asshole .  ’

‘  the  world  out  there  has  teeth  and  it  is  hungry  and  it  is  stupid  and  it eats  and  eats  mindlessly .  ’

‘  you  listen  to  your  gut .  even  if  it  makes  them  hate  you .  ’

‘  i  am  a  dream  and  so  are  you  and  so  are  we .  ’

‘  you  are  a  looker ,  aren’t  you ?  ’

‘  honey ,  someone’s  in  the  house .  ’

‘  i’m  dreaming ,  right ?  ’

‘  i  just  need  a  little  time  away .  it’s  nothing  more  than  that .  ’

‘  you’re  saying  it  was  an  accident ,  so  you  accidentally  put  your  hand  through  a  mirror ?  ’

‘  i’m  scared .  that’s  all  i  am .  there  is  nothing  else .  i’m  only  scared .  ’

‘  do  you  think  there’s  something  wrong  with  me ?  like ,  really  wrong ?  ’

‘  it’s  alright ,  sugar .  it’s  just  a  dream  —  just  a  screaming  meemie .  ’

‘  we  yield  to  it  or  we  fight  it ,  but  we  cannot  meet  it  halfway .  ’

‘  i  seldom  am  well  behaved .  ’

‘  i  enjoyed  the  conversation ,  but  i’m  gonna  say  goodnight .  ’

‘  did  you  just  punch  me  in  the  boob ?  ’

‘  just  enjoy  me .  i’m  loving  you .  ’

‘  i  wouldn’t  have  changed  a  thing .  i  need  you  to  know  that .  ’

‘  forgiveness  is  warm  like  a  tear  on  a  cheek .  ’

‘  i  loved  you  completely  and  you  loved  me  the  same .  ’

‘  that’s  all .  the  rest  is  confetti .  ’

‘  forgive  a  girl  for  being  lonely .  ’

‘  there’s  nothing  sadder  than  a  cold  bed .  ’

‘  journey’s  end  when  lovers  meet .  ’

‘  journeys  don’t  end ,  not  if  you  love  someone .  they  don’t  end  at  all .  ’

‘  probably  best  you  didn’t  say  anything  to  them .  ’

‘  i’m  asking  you  to  love  me  hard  for  the  next  few  minutes .  ’

‘  i’m  gonna  jump  and  i’m  asking  you  to  hold  my  hand  while  i’m  falling .  ’

‘  i  have  something  that  i  have  to  tell  you ,  but  i  need  you  to  remember  when  i  do  that  i  love  you .  ’

‘  i  wish  i  would’ve  loved  you  better .  ’

‘  pandas  don’t  like  macaroni .  ’

‘  i’m  just  floating  in  this  ocean  of  nothing  and  i  wonder  if  this  is  it ,  this  is  what  death  is .  ’

‘  i  wonder  if  this  is  what  death  is ,  just  out  there  in  the  darkness ,  just  darkness  and  numbness  and  alone .  ’

‘  i  wondered  if  that’s  what  they  felt ,  just  numb  and  nothing  and  alone .  ’

‘  he  was  a  light  in  the  darkness .  he  was  a  life  preserver  in  the  ocean .  ’  

‘  i  reached  for  him  because  i  had  to  feel  something .  i  had  to  feel  anything .  ’

‘  god ,  i’m  so  glad  i  did  it  though .  thank  god  it  worked .  ’

‘  i  felt  scared .  so  fucking  scared .  ’

‘  honestly  i  had  to  do  it  because  it  felt  better  than  feeling  nothing .  ’

‘  that  thorough  fucking  shame  was  so  much  better  than  that  horrible  empty  feeling .  ’

‘  you  have  to  live .  ’

‘  i  don’t —  i  don’t  know  how  to  do  this  without  you .  ’

‘  i  learned  a  secret  :  there  is  no  without .  i  am  not  gone .  i  am  scattered  into  so  many  pieces ,  sprinkled  on  your  life  like  new  snow .  ’

‘  when  we  die ,  we  turn  into  stories  and  every  time  someone  tells  one  of  those  stories  it’s  like  we’re  still  here .  ’

‘  we’re  all  stories  in  the  end .  ’

‘  you’re  supposed  to  protect  me ,  but  you  say  the  meanest  things  to  me  when  i  try  to  tell  you  things .  ’

‘  that  was  really  wild  stuff .  ’

‘  that  was  really  wild  stuff  considering  you  were  asleep  for ,  what ,  like…  ninety-nine  percent  of  it ?  ’

‘  i’m  sorry .  i  should  have  made  more  of  an  effort  with  you .  ’

‘  you  tried  the  best  that  you  could .  i  should’ve  met  you  halfway .  ’

‘  people  fuck  up .  i  guess  you  don’t  get  that  —  you  really  don’t  get  it  until  you  fuck  up .  really  fuck  up .  ’

‘  i  felt…  nothing .  just  nothing .  and  it  spread  everywhere  in  me ,  this  nothing ,  until  i  couldn’t  feel  anything  anymore .  i  was  just  this  dark ,  empty  black  hole .   ’

‘  i  felt  nothing  and  so  i  drank  and  i  drank  and  nothing  worked .  i  couldn’t  feel  anything .  ’