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horikita-h · 6 months ago

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Better Man pt. I

Part II Part III

Porco Galliard x fem!reader ; Canon Divergent

word count: ~3.8

|18+ Minors Do Not Interact Please|

warnings: reader has amnesia; reader is hurt in battle, but no real description; nothing other than that

a/n: this is part one of my entry for the Paramour Collab hosted by @blkladyelle ! I'm really excited that I'm able to participate in this. I realize that most of the things that happen are very convenient to the plot, but let's just go with it. Feedback is always appreciated!

Background: at the battle of Shiganshina, Reiner saw that you had been hurt and decided he couldn’t just leave you there to be eaten or to die alone. He brought you with him and tried to convince Zeke that you could be useful. Zeke was wary and half tempted to just leave you to die, but he was always one to think ahead. He thought that you might be useful in using you as a way to have some leverage when wanting to convince the Paradis soldiers of agreeing to his plan. But when Reiner had mentioned that you were a skillful soldier, one of Captain Levi's favorites, Zeke knew he had to keep you around. An act of good faith, in a way. He kept you alive and if they wanted you back, they would agree to following his plan.

Ever since you arrived in Marley, you'd been labeled as nothing. Why Zeke decided to keep you around had everyone questioning his intentions (and maybe even his sanity). Once on the mainland, Zeke gave you two options: do what he says, or be fed to the titans. If you wanted even the faintest chance of returning to your home, then you knew you had to play by their rules. It had been over a year since you were taken from Paradis and forced to fight for a place where they thought you were lower than dirt and evil incarnate. How you got here, you couldn’t remember. There was quite a bit that didn’t make sense to you. Your memories would come and go, making it difficult for you to decipher what was real. Only two things were constant: a face of a man whose presence seemed to put you at ease, and the screams and cries of utter anguish.

Most of your time was spent fighting in battles you didn't understand, but you had gotten used to the people you fought beside. The first year was rough. Nobody would talk to you or acknowledge your presence. Only once you had deemed yourself as a worthy fighter did the warriors begin to address you.

Zeke was arrogant, quiet, and always in thought, and you did your best to limit your interactions with him. He was the one who ultimately doled out any punishments that befell you, so the less you saw of him the better.

You had seen memories of Reiner, and part of you couldn't help but to think that he had a hand to play in your disposition. From what flashbacks you remembered, Reiner was the same here as he was in Paradis. Well intentioned, but severely lacking in confidence. His presence bothered you, but he was the one who was most likely to talk to you. Pieck wasn't too bad, though you didn't see her for months at a time since she stayed in her titan form for long bouts. Porco wouldn't even look at you or acknowledge you when you were first introduced. He had the confidence that Reiner could only hope for, but there was an air of doubt that lingered around him.

The aura of the battlefield was that of utter chaos. You weren't sure what you were thinking. You were insignificant, a burden, an outcast. Your presence meant nothing to these people. Why did you care so much if they were successful in their battles? The armored titan was down and on the verge of being hit hard with the enemy’s artillery forces. As much as he pissed you off, you knew that Reiner’s armored titan was a major asset to the team. So, you ran toward the enemy lines as you threw grenades their way. The plan had worked, and their focus was on you for the time being. But you only needed a moment of their time for Reiner to get himself out of trouble.

Most of their attention was on you, like you had planned. But now, your problem was that you hadn't thought this plan all the way through. Eyes squeezed shut, fists balled tight, you braced yourself for what awaited you. The sound of guns and ammo being fired was deafening. You had expected to feel the ground shake and waves of heat from the explosions, but instead, your body was moving through the air. Was this what it felt like to die?

You peeked out of one eye to see that the jaw titan gripped you gently in one of his hands.

"Galliard?!" You shouted at him, confusion filling you.

He stared at you, and somehow you could understand what that look meant.

What are you doing, dumbass?

He carefully set you down and towered over top of you. His look said "stay" and you obliged, mostly because you couldn't feel your legs, but also because he really had no reason to save you. A few moments passed and the cadence of the battle was dying down. You could hear the screams of your titan allies, and knew that victory would soon be theirs. The jaw titan was by your side once more, but this time Porco came out of his titan form. He jumped down in front of you.

"What were you thinking? Are you a dumbass?" His hands scoured over your face, looking for any external injuries you may have sustained. When he could find no obvious injuries, he tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, 'm okay. Uh," you stopped when you looked into his eyes. They were intense, but kind. Your legs began to grow heavy, an uneasy feeling settling into the pit of your stomach.

"I'll go," you said quickly as you tried to turn from him. But his grip held you in place.

"Quit being a pain in the ass, ______."

"Bite me, Galliard!" You retorted.

A smile cracked through his tough demeanor. His tone became softer, his grip on you lightened.

"Seriously, what were you thinking back there?"

“I-” you flinched, a sharp pain bolting through your head. Your knees gave out, but Porco’s grip was able to keep you from falling. An immense pain was shooting all around your head and you weren’t sure what was going on.

You later woke up in the infirmary, a large bandage wrapped around your head, and a nauseous feeling started in your stomach and worked its way up your chest. A quick glance around the room and you found that you were by yourself. Not surprising. However, you were surprised that they actually treated you. Most of the time if you needed aid, they gave you the supplies and stuck you in a broom closet to get it sorted out.

The door slowly creaked open, and you sat up to meet the person walking in.

“G-Galliard?” you asked, surprised to see him enter the room.

“______. Hey, don’t sit up too fast,” he walked over to you and helped you sit up slowly against the headboard.

“Where am I?”

“You’re in the infirmary.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean ‘why’? You got hurt and needed medical attention. Why else would you be in the infirmary?”

“Oh.”

He pulled a chair up next to your side and the room sat quiet for a few minutes. The light in the room was fading as the sun began to set. The only sound was the pounding of your heart inside of your head. You found yourself staring at Porco on more than one occasion. The feeling in your stomach was familiar, but new all at the same time. You had felt this before, but not with him.

“Here, I brought you something to eat.” He pulled a chunk of bread from his pocket. “Just take small bites. I’ll get you some water.”

“‘m not hungry.”

“Bullshit you’re not. You’ve been out for four days. You need to eat.” His voice was stern, but not angry. “Small bites.”

You ripped off a small piece and cautiously placed it into your mouth. Porco sat back down and watched as you ate the bread piece by piece. He held out the glass of water and you graciously took it. Chug, chug, chug. You wiped any excess water from your mouth with your forearm.

“Thank you, Galliard. You didn’t have to do this.” You hand him back the glass and the bread.

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry about it. Also, you can just call me Porco. It’s fine.” He scooted his chair closer to you. “So, uh, how are you feeling?”

“My head really hurts, but I’m sure I’ll be fine. Should be okay for training tomorrow.”

“Good.” He nodded approvingly. “You never answered my question.” He paused for a moment, contemplating on if he really wanted to ask you. “What were you thinking back there?”

“I wasn’t thinking,” you scoffed. A twinge of embarrassment as you thought back to what you did for Reiner on the battlefield. "I was trying to be a distraction," you said, ashamedly. "Someone needed to save Reiner's ass, figured I'd give you a break."

He blew air out of his nose, apparently amused with your answer. “Well, that answers my second question: you ARE a dumbass.” He flicked your forehead lightly.

“Bite me, Galliard,” you smiled.

He smiled back, and you thought that it suited him. The moment was interrupted when Zeke walked into the room. He lit some candles which made up for the light that was quickly fading from the room as the sun set further behind the horizon. The flames flickered in the lenses of his glasses, making it hard to see where his gaze fell. He adjusted the frames as he stared in your direction.

“Galliard, it’s odd to see you here,” he stated monotonously.

“Yeah, figured I would check to see if she was awake. Was just on my way to come get you.” Porco stood up from his spot and dragged the chair back to its home under the desk in the middle of the room. “I’ll see myself out.” He walked past Zeke without a second glance. But, he did take one last look back at you before he walked out. You couldn’t decipher the look on his face. Pity? Irritation? Endearment? Whatever he was feeling, you didn’t have long to think about it as Zeke was soon interrogating you.

Everything from simple questions like “what’s your name” and “where are you”, to more difficult questions that had you racking your brain in order to answer to the best of your ability. You tried your best to give him the answers he wanted; his presence perturbed you and left you feeling uncomfortable. Once he deemed your answers as acceptable, he told you to get your things and go back to your room. He stopped right in front of the door and made one last comment.

“I'm sure Galliard has more deserving things that need his attention. Don't bother him anymore.”

“I,” you paused, contemplating if you actually wanted to say what you wanted. Instead, you answered with what he wanted to hear.

"Yes, Captain."

Those words left a sour taste in your mouth. You furrowed your brow, but your chest tightened, your feelings conflicting with what your face was expressing.

“Don’t forget that you are nothing.” Zeke left and you stared at the bed sheets for several minutes. A deep sigh left you, and you swung your feet off the side of the bed. How could you forget that everybody here hates you? It’s hard to forget that you mean nothing to these people. Another deep breath as your feet hit the ground. You reached up and stretched, going up on your toes. Your legs were a little weak, and you weren’t able to catch your balance before collapsing to the floor.

“Hey, are you okay in…what happened?” Porco came through the door and rushed to your side.

“I’m okay. What, uh, what are you doing here?”

“I was walking by and I heard a ‘thud’. Why are you on the floor?”

“Zeke told me to go back to my room, so I was going. But my legs weren’t ready, I guess.” You rocked back on your hands and knees, building up the physical and mental strength needed to get back to your feet.

“Here, let me help you,” he extended one hand to you, the other hand gently grasped your elbow. He carefully helped you sit on the edge of the bed. “Once you’re ready, I can help you to your room. If you want.”

“Oh, that would be nice. But, uh, you probably shouldn’t. Zeke told me to leave you alone,” your voice was filled with shame, your eyes downcast. “Thank you, though.”

“What? Why?”

“Mmm, something about you having better things to do,” an exasperated sigh left you. “I suppose he's not wrong, though. Someone's gotta hold Reiner accountable," you forced out a laugh. "Anyway, I want to thank you for saving me back there. You really didn't have to do that."

"Yeah, well. If I just let you die, then there wouldn't be anybody else around here who gets irritated by Reiner as much as I do."

Silence sat heavy between the two of you for several minutes. You thanked Porco for his help the past few days. He made sure that you were able to stand and walk without falling before he left you to go back to your room. You both turned separate directions out of the infirmary and you made the long journey to your own little piece of the world. Up a few flights of stairs and down the longest part of the hallway is where your room was. It was the room that was furthest from everything. Small and dirty, it had been used for storage for many years. A dingy mattress, a tattered blanket, and a pillow that was almost as flat as your blanket was all that you had. A single window was the saving grace of this place. Sometimes late at night when you were sure that everyone else was asleep, you were able to sneak onto the roof and watch the night sky in all its glory. It made you wonder if there was anyone else out there looking at the stars like you. Maybe there was someone out there who was looking for you.

A light tap, tap, tap pulled you away from your thoughts. Surely, you must be hearing things. A head injury could do that, you supposed. But when you heard the shuffling of feet and some quiet grumbles, you knew that your hearing was fine. You opened the door no more than a crack in order to see who was out there. If you had to guess, it would be Zeke coming to tell you that you had to be up early in order to clean some disgusting place within the barracks.

“Galliard?” You opened the door a little further.

“Tch, I thought I told you…it’s Porco,” he said with a slight irritation in his voice.

“Oh, uh, sorry.”

A brief moment of awkward silence filled the space between the two of you. Neither of you were looking at the other. He was waiting for you to say something else, and you were waiting for him to leave.

“Did you..er..do you..need something?”

“I just wanted to make sure you got back to your room alright. You seemed like you were struggling to walk.”

“Oh. Well, as you can see, I’m back in my room. So thanks for checking on me, again.” You started to close the door, but he stuck his hand out to prevent you from closing it any further.

“Yeah, but are you alright? You were knocked out pretty good and the more I thought about it, the more I think you should still be in the infirmary.” He pushed his way into your room, and you did nothing to stop him. He stood at the door, which he closed behind him, and took in the surroundings.

“I definitely think you should still be in that sick bed. This place is shit. No offense.” He walked over to the window and took a peek outside. “Hm, this view isn’t too bad.”

“It’s even better if you sit out on the roof,” you blurted out.

He quirked an eyebrow. “Show me.”

“Show you?”

“Yeah, c’mon. Let me see this ‘better view’.”

“Um, okay,” you whispered reluctantly. As carefully and as quietly as possible, you pushed the window open. The night breeze blew across your skin and helped cool your body, but it did little to soothe your nerves. One leg over the window ledge, your foot finding solid ground on the roof before the rest of your body ducked under the upper window frame, and you swung your other leg over. Porco followed suit.

“Well, this is it,” you gestured to the sky. The sky was cerulean blue, dark, deep, and littered with the silver twinkle of infinite stars. The moon sat just above the buildings, the crescent shape looking like a toothy smile that was withholding a series of secrets. Secrets that you were desperate to know and understand.

Porco stood with his hands in his pockets while he stared up at the sky. It was quiet, calm, and brought a sense of wonder. Like it was from a different time and place. He wondered if the stars have ever burned this bright before; he’d never noticed, never really took the time to notice.

“I usually just sit here for a while and just…think.” You sat down, pulling your knees close to your chest and wrapping your arms around your legs.

“What do you usually think about?” Porco asked, mimicking your motion of sitting down.

“Do you want the honest answer?”

“Yeah.”

You took a deep breath as you thought about how you wanted to phrase your answer.

“I usually think about my dreams…er, I guess they’re more nightmares-”

“Your nightmares? Why would you think about that?”

“Well, I sometimes think I might remember something about my life before here. I can see myself flying between buildings along with other people. And titans. So many titans. There’s almost always a feeling of dread.

But, I try to focus more on the one thing that brings me some sort of comfort. There’s always the same face in my dreams. A man’s face. He seems familiar, like I know him and he knows me. Maybe he cares for me or something. And I stare up at the sky and think ‘maybe he’s looking at the same sky, maybe he’s looking for me’. But now that I say that outloud, it seems kind of silly,” you sheepishly chuckled.

“Nah, it doesn’t seem silly. You probably have some pretty boy out there looking for you,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Pretty boy?”

“Yeah, I bet pretty boys are your type.”

“How would you know what ‘my type’ is, Galli–ah, Porco? What if I told you that Reiner is my type?” you teased.

“Reiner? Uck, yeah right! Don’t even joke about that,” he threw a piece of debris at you. “Although, he’s a dumbass, you’re a dumbass. So you two could be dumbasses together,” he blew air out of his nose

“Shut up,” you laughed. You leaned back onto your hands as you readjusted yourself, but your fingers accidentally grazed Porco’s fingers. Immediately, you withdrew your hand and tucked them back under your knees.You focused on a particular star that seemed to be larger than the rest. Embarrassment and another feeling you couldn’t quite describe flowed through your body. You could see him in your peripheral vision. Porco stared at his hand, and then to you, and then back to his hand.

“Ah, you should probably be going soon. I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble for being here. And to be honest, I don’t know what would happen if Zeke caught me out here and with you, specifically after he told me to leave you alone,” you sighed, reality coming back to you and your embarrassment being replaced with guilt.

“I know that Zeke is higher ranking than us, but what can he actually do to you that makes you so scared of stepping out of line?” Porco asked. It wasn’t demeaning or mocking, it was just out of a sense of curiosity. He hoped that he could understand your motivations better.

“My life is in his hands. If he decides that I’m too much of a burden or I’m too troublesome, then he’ll feed me to the titans.” You tore your gaze away from the night sky and looked at him. “I’ve seen it…in my dreams. Not me. But other people. People I think I knew. I hear their anguished cries and I’ve seen their faces scrunched in fear and desperation. I’ve seen it over and over again. And I know that’s not how I want to go.”

He stared back at you, his brow scrunched and a little pout showed that he was in thought. “Yeah, me neither.”

Silence lingered between the two of you for a few moments. The silence was becoming more comfortable the more time you spent together. Neither one of you was sure what to say. But it was getting late, and you were worried that Porco might get caught for being out of his room so late. It was also getting cold, and if you didn’t close the window soon, your room would be too cold for you to sleep somewhat comfortably.

Porco stood up, effectively snapping you out of your thoughts.

“I should probably go.” He held his hand out to you. You stared at it in confusion.

“Take my hand, dummy. I’ll help you back inside.”

The heat rushed to your face. You grabbed his hand and he yanked you up. It might have been a little too hard, because you lost your balance for a split second and bumped into him, causing him to catch you in his embrace. Even more heat coursed through your entire body, and you quickly apologized and made your way to the window and back inside.

“Galliard, I’m sorry. But I don’t know if-”

He flicked your forehead. “...Porco, ______. I’m Porco. Maybe we can do this again soon. And maybe you won’t be so nervous next time. I know you’re scared of Zeke’s threats. But, you shouldn’t worry. As long as I’m around, I’ll look out for you.”

With that, he disappeared down the hallway. And for the rest of the night, you laid in bed and thought about what he meant by what he said. When you eventually fell asleep, you dreamed of something different. The man from your dreams appeared as usual. But no nightmares. No screaming or cries. No sounds of horror. No, you mostly just dreamt of Porco.

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horikita-h · 6 months ago

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oikawa ‘clit kisser’ tooru

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horikita-h · 6 months ago

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bitches be like “he’s my comfort character” and it’s just some dude covered in blood

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horikita-h · 6 months ago

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She’s everything

He’s just Ken.

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horikita-h · 6 months ago

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Me: "I'm reading One Punch Man manga for the engaging plot, the intentional and thinly veiled derision of the hero-villain dichotomy, the fast-paced action, wholesome comedy, and Murata's god-tier art style"

The engaging plot, the intentional and thinly veiled derision of the hero-villain dichotomy, the fast-paced action, wholesome comedy, and Murata's god-tier art style:

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horikita-h · 6 months ago

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horikita-h · 6 months ago

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『03』ブルーロック: blue lock recs

冴糸師: sae itoshi

lost to time by @syriiina

nostalgia. it’s delicate but potent. “nostalgia” literally means “the pain from an old wound” in greek. it’s the twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone – a feeling of a place where we ache to go again. but in sae’s case, it’s the painful ache in his chest to return to someone that’s already been buried by the sands of the past; the yearning for someone that’s already been lost to time. notes: this fic emotionally destroyed me; heavy angst paired with audio recordings; basically the most gut-wrenching combination ever; smooth chronological plot development; encapsulates the dichotomous pain and pleasure of love; i felt like my heart was healing and hurting at the same time

merry go round by @syriiina

what if you were given another chance? another chance to say all the things you’ve wanted to say, cry all the tears you couldn’t and hear the voice of the person you’ve cherished all your life? sae itoshi was given that chance. just one more chance for your birthday that he’ll never get to spend with you. just another chance at goodbye. notes: at this point this author needs to pay for my therapy; examining the process of grief; almost dreamy and hallucination-inducing atmosphere; idea of letting go; new beginnings; childhood nostalgia; sequel to first fic

to my first love / to my last love by @by-moonflower

when you agreed to date itoshi sae in mid-october of 1993, you never imagined he'd be your first love—whose presence would continue to linger in your life, hauntingly, even if a year, two, or ten came to pass. notes: high school sweethearts to exes to lovers again; examines insecurities of girlhood; idea of love being a process of trying and trying again; reader discovers herself before she discovers others; happy ending; pre-2000s nostalgia; montage/vignette style

come out and haunt me by @alaboadoa

sae is 13 years old when he moves to madrid. his temporary apartment is old and cheap, and worst of all it's haunted. but he finds your company better than nothing, even if you do tend to knock all of his belongings over. notes: incredibly well-written study of sae’s character especially as a pre-teen; honestly would've never expected a ghost AU; this author has such a beautiful mind; finding commonality in exclusion and lack of belonging; a unique rendition of right person, wrong time; loving someone but still not being enough

hungry hearts by @sanzu-sanzu-sanzu

You are Itoshi Sae’s Manager. Fielder of dumb reporter questions and keeper of his schedule. Among many others. notes: their dynamic reminds me of miguel and lyla from the spiderverse or that one kdrama about secretary kim; sae denying that he is in love yet noticing every little detail about reader; their witty banter is so funny; gradual realization of feelings; honestly i think this is how canon sae would fall in love

find love by @tenjiiku

“Mama?” “Yes, little bunny?” You call her by such a name because when she was a toddler she had somewhat of an obsession with playing leap frog with others. The original pet name had been little frog, but it had caused a rather large tantrum, so you never used such a term with her. Her father suggested it. It was the only thing he made that you still used. notes: i don't even need a rec to tell you how good this is; nuanced portrayal of divorce; honestly hit too close to home; idea of marriage not being endgame; slight hint of second-chance romance; love that never fades; sae being emotionally oblivious; for the hopeless romantics

the hanshin expressway by @tenjiiku

He remembers how sad you had looked — gentle, sweet and kindhearted you. And he remembers feeling the urge to hold you. Because it was the first time he voluntarily felt such a gripping emotion. He recalls the way your nimble fingers trembled around your second mug of jasmine tea, and he looks back on the way you turned to him with a forced smile, as if it was the easiest thing to do — to bear yourself and all of your little idiosyncrasies in front of him, no walls, no windows. Just you and him. You, reprimanded for your selfless displays of kindness. Him, admonished for his lack of expressing his. It was hard not to let himself fall into you. notes: literally even the premise of this fic is not for the weak; amnesia tropes are the death of me; prose is so tender and beautiful; sae being the one who now teaches the reader how to love; role reversal; reliving grief; idea of being unable to equate the past and present versions of the person you love; people change and you are helpless to stop it; being unable to return to what once was

rezkinoff / prelude by @tenjiiku

07.01. It is the first day of my break. I am going to journal both my fitness levels and caloric intake because my nutritionist has told me to. I will also note a daily observation so as to look back on my time with certainty that I have spent it properly and because you have told me to. Today’s observation: the heels of my feet are growing calluses and I found a single strand of white hair, still on my head. I need better shoes and hair dye. Perhaps something is in the water. — Itoshi. S notes: one of the most authentic portrayals of sae’s character; sae being emotionally inept but slowly learning; aging but as a graceful process; daily observations of life; the epistolary style makes it a smooth reading experience; ambiguous enough for interpretation

us, again by @ode2rin

in which: itoshi sae returns to the only place on earth he vows to never set foot again. notes: one of the best second-chance romance fics out there; i still think about this fic at night; just the right balance of hurt and comfort; sae and reader both messing it up and finding each other again; dilemma of both loving and hating a person; has a coffee shop scene and a dramatic airport reunion so what is there not to like

scraps by @itoshiexx

you give him all you have. it's time to collect the scraps before there is nothing left. notes: short but packs the most brutal emotional punch at the end; idea of love not being enough; sae pushing reader away; miscommunication; hurt people hurt people; giving up on someone you love most; falling out of love

conversations by @saerins

he’s back home, and you recall the times you’d spoken to him. all the calls you made, then all the calls he made, and then all the times it went to voicemail. notes: i was having a good day until i read this and started violently sobbing; honestly it's a pretty accurate reflection of fame and the troubles it brings for both you and sae; the voicemails crushed something within me; i was grieving for a relationship that never existed; please read when you want a good cry; thank god for the alternate ending here

do stars return? by @hanyjar

your childhood friend leaves, and you question if he’ll ever come back. notes: the way that i ate this shit up with no crumbs. sae itoshi and star metaphors go hand in hand. picture this: you and sae grow up and then he leaves you and then he comes back again. now amplify that and add childhood angst and a sprinkle of poetic language. you're welcome.

凛糸師: rin itoshi

the first snow by @tenjiiku

It’d take him 3 lonely nights for Rin to admit to himself he wanted to see you again. He wonders if he torments you as much as you do him. notes: two-shot that changed the trajectory of my life; this author absolutely nails the slice of life genre every single time; finding beauty in the mundane; realistic depictions of modern love; somewhat slow-burn; dialogue and internal conscience are beautifully written

riptide by @misssleepless12

Concerned with how things were left after U-20, Isagi goes to visit Rin before the end of break. They address it. Sort of. notes: not necessarily a rinsagi shipper but this fic has a stunningly accurate portrayal of MLM romance; no sense of false idealism or over-romanticization; rin and isagi’s natural dynamic is perfectly captured; strong imagery and cultural setting of kamakura; rin’s sarcasm is on point

カイザ: michael kaiser

five dates and a proposal by @by-moonflower

all it takes is five dates for kaiser to fall in love with you and you in him, much to your surprise. notes: this fic actually made me believe in love; strong female character; fear of love and gradual opening up; basically what it feels like to fall in love with someone you never thought you’d actually love; realistic depiction of insecurities

color me blue by @saekkas

in which you need to wrestle your boyfriend, michael kaiser, out of his bed to fulfill a promise: re-dye his hair. notes: domestic fluff; michael being childishly cute; imperfections as perfections; heart-warming snapshot of established couple life; never fails to make me smile when i reread it

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horikita-h · 6 months ago

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18+, post brazil arc hinata, heavy makeout scene, implied sex

The first warning sign is the sound of your television ringing out. You can hear it, even outside the door. It plays out a muffled commentary, followed by excited cheers and screams, but to you, this is beginning to sound like a soundtrack of a horror movie. Your fingers pause on the key, heart racing.

You make sure to save your electricity bill every time you go out—it’s become a habit. There is just no way you forgot to do it today. As depressing as it is to admit, your life had been such a monotonous repeat of last week that even a slight change of habit like that would’ve been the most excitement you would feel for the past three years.

This is no longer exciting. This is just horrifying.

Usually, you’d enter and greet no one in particular, kick off your shoes in an impressively lazy manner, then pluck them back up and store them properly, place your groceries on the counter, lie down on the couch, then pass the fuck out. It’s been a routine. But today, you slide your phone out of your pocket, text Yachi, if i don’t reply in an hour, call sugawara-san and the police, and turn the key with a click!

You’re instantly greeted by the sight of an unfamiliar pair of shoes, deposited neatly beside where you would usually place yours. They’re too big for your feet. Next comes the turned up TV, maxed to a hundred—to the point where you can feel the buzz on your feet.

You see him right away, sprawled on your flimsy couch. It’s hard to miss him even when you try anyway, with the shock of orange hair illuminated by the blue of your TV.

But you must be hallucinating. Hinata is in Brazil. He should not be here. He should not have his arm over the head of your couch, he should not be drinking out of the glass you use every day—he should… he should not…

You flick the lights on and your mouth dries.

Hinata’s head whips around, eyes wide in surprise, before it melts into a pleased grin.

“Y/N! You’re back!” he exclaims. If you had a pet, it would surely react like that.

See, the problem is this: You and Hinata Shouyou are best friends. Friendly enough for you to call him Shouyou, for you to miss him so much when he left that it left an ache in your chest for too long, for him to update you about his troubles in Rio De Janeiro, for him to come over unannounced (apparently), and friendly for you to try and bury your feelings away to not ruin what you had.

Hinata shifts his torso to face you fully. “Y/N?”

Then his expression falls, and it takes a shudder from your shoulders to realize that you’re crying.

Hinata drops the remote and hurries over to you, large hands cupping your cheeks. He’s so, so warm, and real, and he’s asking you ‘what’s wrong? Are you okay?’ And no, you’re not okay. You thought that those two years without him would’ve helped you get rid of your feelings, but your heart is lurching to your throat and tears continue to leak from your eyes.

“I don’t…” You sniffle. “It’s not stopping.”

He murmurs your name so lovingly that you just cry harder.

You’re stupid to think that you can even get rid of it. Hinata wipes a stray tear with his thumb, leaving a scorching trail. You hiccup pathetically, dropping your groceries to hug him fully. His warmth envelops you as he lifts you by the waist to hug you back. You feel your feet lift off the ground.

“S-Shouyou,” you wail, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders. “You didn’t— You didn’t tell me—”

You then hit him on the chest, but it doesn’t work in your favor when you realize how sturdy it is and you must’ve been like a pawing kitten clinging onto him. You suddenly become aware of this, and push off, but he keeps you pressed against him.

“I wanted to surprise you,” Hinata says softly, but the gleam in his eye and his amused smile betrays him.

You frown. “This isn’t funny.”

Hinata smiles wider. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“How did you even get in?”

Hinata shrugs. “You gave Yamaguchi your spare key. He helped me out.”

“You didn’t tell me you were back! I would’ve picked you up!”

Hinata laughs. “I wanted to surprise you. That’d be counterproductive.”

Against your morals, you jab a finger on his chest again. Just to test it. It is still as firm as about five seconds ago. “Did you do this to Yamaguchi or Hitoka, too? Huh? You idiot!”

“No, of course not. Just you,” he says it like it should be obvious.

What’s so obvious about your best friend holding you by the waist as you two stand in the doorway of your apartment, and your heart is racing because he’s gotten unfairly hotter? Nothing about this is obvious. Nothing about this is normal.

“I didn’t expect you to cry, though,” he says after a while.

You pull on his ear until he starts whining for you to stop.

You sit on your dingy couch as the TV plays out a sports channel that Hinata must’ve tuned in into while you haven’t arrived yet. It shouldn’t make you fond, but it does. He’s lowered the volume to 5%, and neither of you are paying attention.

“Sorry,” Hinata mumbles in defeat.

That shouldn’t make you forgive him in an instant, but it does.

“I could’ve at least prepared something for you,” you say, embarrassed by the state of your apartment. You really meant that so you could at least make your place look more presentable had you known Hinata Shouyou would be coming over. What if you had a stray underwear lying around somewhere?

Hinata turns to you with a kicked puppy expression, bottom lip jutted out. “You went from crying to angry in a flash, it scared me.”

“I’m not angry, Shouyou. Just—you know. A warning next time. I’m embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed? Over what?”

“It’s rude, Sho. You should be embarrassed!” You knuckle his head, momentarily forgetting how soft his hair is. It’s been years since you’ve touched it. You linger on it for a while, and he lets you.

Hinata just laughs in delight, his hands finding home on your hips. “You don’t have to prepare anything or clean up for me. I’d be coming over all the time now, anyway.”

“You’re a pro athlete now. Know your priorities!”

“You are my priority.”

You shove your accent pillow on his face. He yells in retaliation, but it’s mostly to hide your flustered, wide-eyed expression. Hinata is stronger, though. He pulls your hand off and grins at you, like you nearly straddling his lap is normal.

You realize you’ve been staring at him for too long. Shit. Seriously? Way to waste those two years trying to move on.

Hinata’s hand slides down to the small of your back when you move away, stopping you. His expression is more serious now, facing your gaze head-on. This is a terrifying position you’re in.

“I missed you,” Hinata says.

You pause. Wherever this was going, you were expecting it to just be a heated one night stand. You expected for it to end up with him on your bed, for him to never bring it up, and for you to regret hurting yourself years later. But Hinata says:

“I missed you so much,” he says, brows pinched to convey his earnestness. “My buddy, Heitor—he got married. I was invited. I clapped for them, but I just kept thinking about you.”

Oh.

“Well—I… I missed you, too, of course,” you stammer out, your pitch getting higher and higher as his other hand moves to the back of your thigh.

“You know, two years without you made me realize a lot of things,” Hinata tells you, never breaking eye contact. “A lot. You don’t know how many times I wanted to just risk everything and call you, but I wanted to do it here.”

“R-Really now?”

“You can tell me to stop, okay?” he says, and oh god, you know where this is going. “And we can forget I did this.”

You should tell him to stop. This is Hinata Shouyou, your best friend (and crush) since Karasuno High. Hinata Shouyou, who you watched grow up and get to where he is now—now being on your couch as you’re actually straddling him.

Instead, what comes out is: “Please.”

Hinata kisses you fiercely, not dissimilar to how he comes off in court—grand and dramatic and everything all at once. You tug on his wild hair, pulling on a few strands, and he makes a really pretty noise that makes something burn in your stomach. He gets revenge when his large hand trails to your ass and pushes you to sit on his lap. You may or may not have made an embarrassing noise in return.

Hinata chuckles. “That was hot.”

You scowl, locking his hips with your thighs, and he’s quick to shut up. It’s difficult for you, considering how thick he’s gotten, but the dazed fog in his eyes makes it all worth it.

You dive in for another heated kiss. His hand slides up your shorts, lingers on your inner thigh, where your skin meets his. It makes you gasp at the heat he’s emanating, rolling off of him physically. He pushes his tongue in your mouth, and your eyes might have just rolled back.

When you have to pull back for air, Hinata is gnawing on his bottom lip so hard that it swells up the way your lips are feeling.

“Fuck,” he says, with feeling, frowning.

You shiver when his hands continue to explore around your thighs. The cold breeze of the evening air then the sweltering heat of Hinata’s palms has you making pitiful, pitiful noises that makes Hinata groan into your neck, like you’re hurting him.

“Shouyou,” you breathe weakly.

Hinata’s sharp gaze cuts to yours, then he’s on top and you’re underneath him in a flash, caged by his arms. Your breath is knocked out of your lungs, and you could excuse it to his speed, but it’s really from just how easily he’s molding you to his liking.

“Sho—”

He rests a finger on top of your lips. It would’ve been difficult if it was just the TV flooding the room with light, but in this, you can see how red his ears have gotten.

“Stop… saying my name like that,” he says weakly.

You belatedly realize that this is him embarrassed, and laugh at his little problem. He looks at you and resembles a wounded animal.

“Shouyou,” you say, then pointedly roll your hips and grin when he stutters on a groan.

“Y/N!” he whines, as if trying to chide you, but he’s also moving his hips. It might be absentmindedly, seeing how he looks so far gone in bliss.

“Shouyou,” you repeat. “I want to take it further. So stop stalling take off your damn shirt already.”

At the green light, he hurriedly pulls his shirt off, fumbling for a second when it catches on his ear. He murmurs in embarrassment, but you’re not paying attention.

You trace his tan lines, lining his arms and would only be really visible if he was topless, like how he is now. His abs expand and contract with each heavy breath as he sucks on the skin under your jaw, hands moving everywhere, frantic, needy. He whimpers weakly every time you move against his hard-on, and the sound fuels you even more to tear him apart.

Two years trying to push him away. Hilarious. If all it took was one unexpected night for Hinata Shouyou to lose his mind over your hips, you would’ve risked it all instead of wallowing alone.

He pants, muscles flexing, and you breathe out a whine, trembling. You let him slide your shorts down, let him pull off your shirt, let him kiss you on your shoulder, your waist, then the inside of your thigh. You let him do more because he keeps looking at you like he wants nothing more than to be here, pupils blown wide and hands desperate, as if even a second without touching you would kill him.

You tug on his hair in warning when his nose brushes against the source of your heat. Hinata pulls back, looking dazed and upset you’re pushing him off. But you haven’t had the chance to tell him earlier, so you’ll tell him now.

“Shouyou,” you say.

Hinata reluctantly tears his eyes away from the mark in between your legs to look you in the eye. “Yeah?”

“Welcome home.”

Later that morning, you have about three missed calls from Sugawara, and over fifty from Yachi. In apology, Hinata sends them a picture of him on your bed, grinning smugly, like he’s just won a particularly hard match. He sends it off with a caption that read: I’m home.

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