howtodisappearcompletelyand - Tumblr blog

howtodisappearcompletelyand · 8 months ago

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kicking my legs like the focus of The Metaphor Of All This Is Most Important throughout things & that like nobody's powers are solely "what would be an epic power" rather than "what's the way someone's personality / tendencies / interests / strengths might be made into this Exceptional, Distinctive Thing That They Do that 'serves a purpose'" & like it's so neat the way the idea of Seeing The Future is made to work a certain way such that other characters & the plot can interact with it more readily than it all being inside bruno's head; that (at least in what we see, no issue with having the best of both worlds & hc'ing that he can have visions Only He sees / that occur spontaneously) not only can other people see them if present but the "you're seeing exactly what i am," i.e. he has to Look At It as this external visual phenomenon too & could miss something just by it being outside his field of vision lol....but also the way that of course this means like, Like Mirabel in all those ways they're so so similar & that's entirely relevant, he's also having to Observe & Interpret through his own perspective, from literal vantage point to personal interpretation of the info

(oh & also like emphatically that i interpret that his vision re: mirabel wasn't actually open ended or showing two Possibilities, it was just Different for being That jam packed lol & everything he ever sees Will happen, it was just like yes mirabel will be connected to the house being unbroken, breaking, whole again, yes mirabel will Embrace Her & it's abuela but also, & more immediately, isabela lol, had to be Both)

also it's so fun like The Sands Of Time being made into this way the visions Display for him (and just are very fun & dramatic. bruno's theatricality....his real gift is Acting Aheheh like screamm & that is so Good & what it says that nobody brought it up about him ever like iiii'm) & that even then beyond that there can be this plot point of mirabel able to Find A Vision b/c they Also form into tl;dr tablets made out of the magic affected sand which, in being a tl;dr are all the more Open Ended in Interpretation, which feels entirely relevant to Themes & everything lol....that there's all this Green Glowiness that's "ominous" but it's like nah that's just how it is? whaddaya gonna do? it's just green & glowy? (again relevant to themes like....what's the problem w/things about bruno's being disabled being associated with his Bad Vibes lol. it's just green. that's just how it is) & the design too to have Just His Irises glow is sooo good & cool & excellent it's all such a slay. & that everything Looks Neat while also like allowing for the way bruno's gift works to weave into the plot rather than like, oh he can just have one about whatever you want to see whenever, but the only way they're conveyed is what He Alone can directly see & interpret & tell you about himself....ugh just all super impressive

but actually what i was thinking of here was The Ritual to have visions....like first of all having there be that ritual & the Sand & the need for a Big Open Space helps Getting A Vision be a plot point more involved than "just find him & ask him" as the Sole requirement, without a reason to already bring another family member into it, already venture outside the walls Once (although idk like again the Metaphor of just operating "behind the scenes" in some hidden & unfancy way is more important than the Practical Details but like, i can imagine maybe Temporarily hiding away in the walls was something he even already did before disappearing; that maybe he'd kind of built up having Stuff hidden back there before he did too; that also maybe yeah sometimes he did sneak out of the walls or even out of the house entirely, but Maybe He Didn't, you can really get creative making things work. but also like seems like it'd be difficult to keep candles & matches on hand without sneaking out. But Also i don't think it's that important unless you Want to work that kind of question into a plotline) where was i in all this....The Ritual. it's also neat how Different it is, to have any kind of "extra" process & materials in using his gift. like that the one other similar case is julieta not being able to Heal With Food without the food, which presumably she always has a hand in making....that again the Metaphor matters, & the granular practical details Can matter to a story if you write it to be so lol, not really having to get into it in encanto's canon plot

anyway & it's very Magical in the way it works with the materials & ritual beforehand & like similarly to doing it in a Vision Cave & the hallway of Visuals that seem to include like "instructions" on how to do the ritual? i can remember it seems to show bruno with a flame in one Panel & with the green tablet in another, & there sure is the question of like "if he has to do this ritual to even use this gift, how did he figure out how to do it?" like & i'm inferring that one potential explanation to read into there is "see, the walls told him" like another thing to Observe & Interpret....& then i was really interested like Ah, & that bruno's gift in particular has this "extra" ritual attached to it, not even Just "oh i need sand to see visions" maybe similar to julieta needing ingredients & cooking tools lol, she doesn't seem to have anything Special beyond her involvement then that is like "okay, using my gift Now" or anything, while then of course that bruno has like Patterns / Rituals that he has to do before / in order to do [xyz], like that he apparently couldn't verbally respond to mirabel while doing that particular pattern of rituals / until after he was done with sections of them that allow him to Move Through That Space. & so My Interpretation becomes like, connecting the ritual to use his gift with whatever other rituals he created that could be considered ocd, like well makes a fuckton of sense with him being especially someone with Lack Of Control, his entire gift would make him aware of the inability to Control The Future, once he sees it It's Happening Babey even if there's nonzero self fulfilling aspect (though evidently it's never wholly / exclusively that), plus of course just like. argh. the parallels of people pushing the narrative like "you Can control xyz" when not getting what they want, bruno as the Messenger of undesired futures basically Caused them, bruno as the exister of disabled is Causing that, just do things right and Become As You Ought To Be....the direct & indirect & intended & unintended feedback over [umm this isn't what people like or want or value] making a feedback loop in fact lol of feeling all that pressure in having no control but internalizing that well i guess you Should, try harder, might be a theme in this story across the board but that ofc the noticeably disabled (& potentially queer) family member Family Weirdo ends up especially "the problem" & thus scapegoated, like mirabel

tangents out here....anyway so that's me then thinking about like, the idea like "what if bruno doesn't Need the ritual" like but what if that's considered in the same context as you would "bruno didn't Need to finish holding his breath & knocking before Responding To Mirabel as he moves along the wall hallway" like, what does that "need" mean there. if he'd be stuck / unable to move along that path without debilitating distress if he didn't do these rituals? why not say that then yeah he "needed" to do them. uno reverse like nobody "needs" to make him stop it, even in a "for his own good" sentiment like i wouldn't agree with that but also You wouldn't drop dead either then would you lol. maybe bruno can make spackle without Needing to be jorge but like, in what way is that really meaningful; if being (&/or acting as) hernando helps him secretly be helping fix casita, if having Weird Hobbies & Weird Rat Friends (shoutout to affinity with animals / being good at socializing with them even without that or acting being made your gift lol. more neurodivergerrrr things....) &c &c helps him live alone in mostly survival mode but also trying to thrive / enjoy things how he can, in what way is it important to be like oh he didn't Need to do this. or that even the idea he didn't "need" to leave like, you can Decide that b/c this isn't real lol but that If He Felt That He Did, boom there's enough of a problem right there, what does it matter if anyone else is like "well, surely you didn't" like

anyway so that is to say just applying the same idea to his gift ritual basically like, presumably even if someone else had the sand & big open space & did the ritual & Tried to see the future, they couldn't, only bruno can, with his Individual Idiosyncratic Gift. & it makes sense if like, bruno already being Othered even by 5 yrs old & in this sort of extra chaotic existence to a degree lol (& like what 5 yr old ever is experiencing a world of Being In Control in the first place) could have that tendency to create his own rules & rituals & patterns for Doing Things The Right Way to seek any further measure of control, makes sense if this would Manifest in his personalized gift involving a ritual. like how i imagine his Seeing The Future is tied to who he personally is too, being in a position / having the perspective to just Observe & Interpret & Express certain things in a way others aren't, same as mirabel was even without that being her gift, kind of a reverse on bruno being good with animals without that being his gift but it being antonio's (or arguably his real gift being acting, vs camilo perhaps having the theatrical / acting tendencies put into into his official Gift lol) like. that yeah maybe if the ingredients of sand + space + bruno were there, Theoretically he could deliberately have a vision, but like. that if the ritual is interpreted as like oh it's Just for focus, grounding, &c it's like hmm well could still say he Needs to do it & the vision Can't be done without it b/c it's like, how could Bruno do it if he Needs to be grounded & focused or w/e other mental effect (since ofc we can see other ppl's emotions can affect their gifts, in addition to the entire The Magic Depends On The Family Depends On Their Emotions / Relationships angle) but doesn't have / execute a ritual for that. To Me i am thinking of it in terms of how his other rituals would be framed as Disabling even if it's like, well, if they make him more Able to do [xyz] actually? at all, &/or without suffering or hurting that would be prohibitive going forward & ever doing it again? akin to like "ah bruno didn't Need to hop over cracks to cross that section of floor" like yeah he wouldn't have Instantly Died. yeah Someone Else would've just walked across with no particular method to it. but if Nobody Else is doing these visions, if it's not really very meaningful to be like "what can bruno Live Without while doing this"....if he merely(tm) needs the ritual for Grounding or what have you, & if this is equivalent to his being disabled & how rituals help him move through his life & do whatever other things, then like sure isn't it more relevant to say he Needs it vs "this means he Doesn't Really need it." i'm thinking of it in terms of like, in turn not Needing to whittle down his other rituals even if they're "weird," no Need to be like oh he Needs to give up his rats now / stop treating them like friends simply b/c he doesn't Need them, like, what is this binary lol. not out here in full everything life & death world, is another pertinent point....plus again like "that ritual is Depicted in that hallway" & also that like, does the sand becoming glass Need that fire? does it Need it b/c there Needs to be that ritual b/c this is bruno's gift & b/c bruno has these other rituals? sure.

all not to say like oh don't think anyone could/would/should play around w/the ideas of the parameters & Rules of his gift, or this interpretation, or anything else. just sure immediately thinking of it in terms of Rules & Rituals bruno has in any other aspects of his life & this also being easily seen as "ugh do you Have to do that (the person presumes No)" & that the "ideal" way of doing things would involve being Peak Normal. & the limits of how relevant it is to be like "oh [person] is only this way b/c of their experiences" like yeah many such cases, Zero cases of "wow, this person has had No experiences. thus they are their pure & ideal self", meanwhile like his ass autistic & queer & Theatrical & so on & this isn't going away, being a family Weirdo is just gonna be part of the way that he is. again thank god that yknow even as it's like, needing a bit of turnaround from mirabel being like "i too feel this is totally out of control so all i can do is try to shift this onto the preexisting scapegoat, it's bruno's vision" to being like oh shit it's bruno himself, & finding him bemusing & weird & like yeah don't think isolation (or ramped up survival mode) ever really makes anyone more of what is considered "normal," but doing what you gotta do, Need to do some might say, & to what Harm especially if not doing it would've hurt more? the Harm of "i'm gonna bully the shit out of them for it :(" not an acceptable answer lol

anyway love that afterwards like mirabel can still a whole 5 sec later be like yeah you're weird but obvi you're cool. & antonio not even being fazed by the [you're weird] part like rather than that This Is The Way That He Is. touching on it in the end like Jorge Is Here & everyone is thumbs up & smiling genuinely & going about their business like thank god lol we did not leave off on some kind of promise that bruno is Becoming More Normal / forcing him to in whatever ways, such as exerting pressure or shame or what have you, is underway....bit antithetical to [you see the consequences of how he was treated] if he has to Fix Himself to be accepted now lol versus everyone's Weirdness & Vulnerability Needing to be welcomed & protected rather than pushed away. & the necessary shift for him being like, same as how mirable Needed to meet bruno & talk to him & see what the family had already done to its last scapegoat & have that context to understand like, yeah, i'm doing this For Everyone, not just abuela or the miracle or me, which makes it more doable even (in addition to having this fellow scapegoat's understanding & full support, bruno being so Optimistic about mirabel's involvement) while bruno likewise is like oh i couldn't do this for Just Myself, but if i'm protecting my scapegoat niece i'm sprinting & tackling my mom b/c when it came to just me i was afraid of her rejection but when it came to acting on mirabel's behalf i'm raring to go & Taking It On & what a great little detail too that He didn't feel he Needed abuela's approval then. we've all been there (the scapegoating / Seeing The Worst / blame going so far it goes in the other direction. in my evil bitch era [angrily pressing buttons on the microwave] or being such a wretched sicko you'll tell off your mom & invite her to hate you 5ever so this kid doesn't experience that b/c like what else is new for you? if you'll be hated either way may as well consider other things in your agency, in for a dime in for a dollar, & so on)

just going on & on but like also Many Thoughts bruno is such a character what a gift. that the peak relevance of the crucial role of Scapegoat being the distillation of that "is it successfully a refuge / protection if vulnerability is rejected rather than actually made safer?" matter & being able to See problems others can't, See them ahead of time literally or more figuratively lol, be willing to Say them even when others don't wanna hear it, b/c they feel they're keeping their head above water even if you don't & are liable to thus point things out or rock the boat like Something's Wrong, Something Has To Be Done, Something Has To Change, in all the various ways that can be expressed....that it's like, so clear on Yeah disability (& queerness) means someone's probably all the less adequately supported, meaning they're seen as "a problem" / "a disruption" or w/e else, meaning they're scapegoated &/or ostracized, while ofc what would support them would improve things for everyone, even if also a change to theoretically benefit Just Them would be reason enough, but that's still in theory lol like more access / support / options is more of that For Any/Everyone....again that they don't "assure" us bruno will Become More Normal Now, that this Meeting & Mutual Understanding Of The Scapegoats is this fundamentally crucial turning point for Everything, certainly first & the most for those scapegoats themselves, Needing each other's support & understanding even if it's "ideally" seen as like ohh mirabel &/or bruno should've managed to figure out & resolve things All On Their Own. right back the ritual thing like, did they Need to?? they both Needed those changes / new info & contexts & motivations, & what does it matter to Want to whittle it down, No rituals, No support from others

& i'm just sooo. it's so great that bruno is so important & the movie holds you at gunpoint like no you Do gotta love him lol, you Need to. or that if you don't appreciate him / consider him important then you probably just don't really respond to the movie much lol given the Cruciality & the perspective of [the main character is being scapegoated as well & is very similar to bruno] like augh thinking of how even as mirabel like obviously as mirabel gives bruno a bit of a push & has that perspective & experiences to do so, it's not like "bruno is too much of a PUSSY but mirabel isn't & that's why bruno didn't break & reform the miracle" lol like. that They're The Same & just need each other still; mirabel was removing herself from the Family Goings On & even behind a wall during antonio's ceremony (& afterwards, Going Unnoticed & removing herself from things, before sort of "having a vision" (i'm presuming casita like was kind of putting on a show there just for mirabel to Convey Info to just her)) & couldn't emerge for her own sake, but only b/c antonio needed her while in the same place she was in & knowing she understands; so too can bruno emerge from hiding not for his own sake but uh oh mirabel's in the same position & needs & is asking for his help b/c she knows he understands. that, oh you know, in the end after mirabel's Best Efforts including full honesty direct confrontation failed, she too was like well i guess i gotta leave after only hurting my family....that even together they can only do so much, the family can't operate differently if the other members aren't like "oh shit yeah okay" & operate differently in turn, no real hypothetical Perfect Way To Do Things that will guarantee that others will do things differently either, relevant too to getting basic respect as a disabled person or anyone else Othered / made more vulnerable/unsupported

finally think i'm running a bit out of Writing These Words steam lol, truly my main point was "what does it mean to speculate he doesn't 'need' the ritual in the context of this disabled character & comparing it to his Other rituals" but there's so much to say like waugh what a movie & what a character fr like well also obviously i love him like utterly delighted. what especial addendums did i think of Just Now....oh for one thing like the autistic moment of like a few First Time Reactions having the same "wow rude / why would ou say that" response of bewilderment to "you're very sweaty" like Shut Up i immediately understand. it's not a nonsequitur, it's not an insult, it's matter of fact Relevant Info being shared, he's barely taller than mirabel & subsisting on little food & holding her up with one hand & if she's Very Sweaty, that is a pertinent problem re: holding her up lol, sure it's a bit Spontaneous to share this but so what. sue him. anyway that already watching it myself i was like oh he's autistic Of Course, & could break down some reasons but truly tl;dr b/c one understands them perfectly right off the bat lol / thee recognition....also theee genderrr in his surely personality & experience related Shrounded Style, god i wish that were me, i always wish it were me [not being seen at all], ever since i was a child i knew even if there was a house i theoretically belonged to i would want to move about secret passages undetected (true)

also it's kind of fun how much it's like hmm can't really gauge this super easily like queer Coding? b/c for one thing it's like, what is the supposed normative standard for what would be liably categorized "cishet man"....all around like, being a bit theatrical / emotionally expressive & such is just kind of an Across The Board thing to a degree, though certainly arguably ramped up for bruno. naturally the That's Probably Not Normative is him being unmarried / no kids when forty (& beyond, but like, the living in the walls a Would Be hindrance there. but idk maybe he had secret relationships. cinderellaing it out here, every night i have to leave & return somewhere with my rats) so you know. also like yeah he's queer b/c a) utter relevance to the Themes & his situation & b) he deserves it & c) we deserve it & d) why not. uh oh "bruno doesn't Need to be queer" lmaooo like what if it's just the way that he is. what if you could force people into doing the normative things but you don't Need to actually & it's better for everyone that you don't....

whew waugh & like great character to be able to Point To like tfw scapegoating, tfw outcast from a group such as a family (including if you left it b/c you thought / felt you Had To, perhaps b/c otherwise what unbearable) (what if it was "merely" "unbearable" for bruno to try to operate wholly without his rituals or rules Ever....), tfw the different ways Clearly A Disabled Character manifest, tfw the theatricality, tfw what a Range he has as a character, [withdrawn, avoidant, nervous] while also ["obtrusive," bold, spontaneous] Big Personality vs Big Trauma representation, hang on tfw not just the rats affinity but the coatis that immediately took to him too lol, tfw tfw aaahh just Scream at the like obviously deliberate "being the Weirdo involves this being a disabled family member" like argh & that this person is this Observer & Truth Teller & his experiences with that parallel to mirabel's role & experiences even as she can't literally see What Will Happen, even as bruno also still has to Observe & Interpret too rather than like having the revelation of The Correct Insight or anything. whew just like thank fuck too that the experience of this movie is is so emphatically like yes this is bruno & we will all be killing for him. for the autistic ocd Family Weirdo. where like how much does it matter if you go "bruno Must think of these roles as personas he Acts & not people he is" or "bruno Must be cishet & now that he's accepted he can get more Normal re: gender/sexuality as well as disability"....also the little possible clues ahead of time about True Things about bruno even before meeting him, seeing his silhouette being shorter than julieta & pepa's, probably not 7ft tall, that that family tree in casita has the like Heart design in the branches around the triplets, not like his sisters directly expressed that they Did/Do Not Love Him or anything lol but you know. oh also that there's just so direct an example of "bruno being disabled is completely relevant to how he & his gift are interpreted, though other aspects of him / his gift are relevant to how his being disabled is interpreted too" in that like he didn't do anything to Ruin pepa's wedding save have his intention & meaning not just completely misinterpreted but then the presumption of "b/c we don't understand what he meant it must have been Fucking With Us On Purpose" a la people like "why would anyone say anything like that" about his first dialogue being to inform mirabel she's very sweaty, I Don't Get It, so it must be that he's causing chaos / being insulting out of sicko / otherwise Wrong/Bad motivation. whereas like no i get it he's talking about issues re: him holding her up. Autistic autistic autistic, Decided what you meant & there's no chance to correct this & it's this huge deal & you were trying to do something completely different & like, supportive & considerate & nice & like augh kill me. many such cases of i think about it like ah yes extremely relate....& then it's just like such a surprise like oh what do you mean this funny little guy queer disabled outcast Weirdo is a crucial character who the material clearly utterly sympathizes with (not that it doesn't all the characters. also i like all the characters wheeee) but like You have to sympathize & understand too & everyone loves this little guy yaaaay. so bizarre like oh what do you mean the Relatable Fun Weirdo isn't a peripheral running joke of no importance if not dismissiveness / disdain???

again Whew & reminding myself "you can make other untagged long text posts" in case i even think of other things i want to throw down. many thoughts, never any one true comprehensive post of them all

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