hullomoon

[hullomoon]

"mirror mirror on my phone, who's the baddest?

✨ us, hello? ✨"

[hullomoon]

We're at the penultimate stage of a competition that will go down in history as being so unimportant that I doubt any of us involved will even have marked graves.

TASKMASTER 19.9

Getaway Sticks

[hullomoon]

In the words of Doc Brown... it was all rim and bounced out.

TASKMASTER • 19x07, "Glass Half Most"

[hullomoon]

this is what love is for

[hullomoon]

Taskmaster 19x02 | An Invisible Jump Rope

[hullomoon]

good or bad

for @corrodedcoffinfest prompt 'the good, the bad, and the ugly'

and a very special thank you to @thisapplepielife for letting me play in her sandbox again with gareth and di. this is your quarterly reminder to go read Tuesday's Gone With the Wind. you can enjoy this fic without it, but you'll appreciate it A LOT more if you have the backstory.

this is also my 500th work on ao3! of the 15+ years i've been in fandoms, it is kinda crazy to think this is the one that made me go so feral i have over a 1.25 million words written about these characters (mostly steddie).

rated m | 903 words | cw: referenced past drug use/abuse | tags: established relationships, therapy, marriage

👎🏻👍🏻👎🏻👍🏻👎🏻👍🏻👎🏻👍🏻👎🏻👍🏻👎🏻👍🏻👎🏻👍🏻

Gareth knows he doesn’t deserve her, but Di is sitting next to him at this therapy appointment, holding his hand, acting like he does.

She just does these things, he doesn’t even have to ask. In fact, she’s the one who scheduled this. He’s doing good. He thought he was doing good.

“Gareth?” His therapist smiles at her office door, beckoning him inside. “Di! Nice to see you, honey. You doin’ good?”

“Doin’ just fine, Lynn. Take care of my guy, okay?”

Lynn nods and Gareth isn’t sure what to say. He walks into the office and gets comfy in his usual chair.

“Soooo,” she starts. “What’s got Di so concerned that she called me herself?”

Gareth shrugs. He genuinely doesn’t know. He’s been going to his meetings, his doctor appointments, his physical therapy. He’s been in Eddie’s studio having fun, no pressure.

“She mentioned something about some missing cash,” Lynn suggests, trying to get him to talk about stuff.

Oh.

Well, Di is right to be worried about that, for sure. But not because of the reasons she or Lynn may suspect.

“Ah.”

Lynn smiles. “I’d love to hear more about where the missing cash went missing to.”

“Well, it’s simple. I owed a guy a lot of money. You can imagine how a guy who you used to buy the best shit from might get a little upset when he finds out how much money you have and he’s still in the red,” Gareth explains. “All settled up now. Won’t hear from him again. I did call my sponsor about it as promised.”

“But you didn’t tell Di.”

Gareth shakes his head. “No, we agreed I could call the sponsor for anything that wasn’t a relapse.”

“But you see why she might be concerned you’re keeping something from her, why she may be worried about a relapse.”

Gareth sighs, nodding. “Yeah, I guess I should’ve thought of that.”

“I’m sure if you just explain it to her, she’ll understand. Was this guy threatening you in some way? What made you feel pressured to settle your debts now?”

Well, realistically, he could’ve ignored the guy. Probably turned him in to the cops or something, put him away for a long time, if not forever. Wouldn't be $4600 poorer, even though that $4600 is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Wouldn’t be sitting in Lynn’s office on a random Tuesday because he made his wife think he relapsed.

“He’s the only one who has dirt on Eddie that I’d rather not see the light of day,” Gareth admits. “God only knows what he has on me.”

“I see,” Lynn nods in understanding. “Well, do you wanna tell Di or leave it?”

“I’d rather tell her. If she’s so worried.”

“Do you wanna do it here or at home?”

“Home. I think it’ll be better in private.”

Lynn nods and offers to let him talk for the rest of his scheduled session, but he doesn’t really need to. He is doing good right now.

****

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he says as Di chops some onions for dinner. “I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

“Sorry I jumped the gun,” she replies, turning to smile at him. “I trust you. I just…I didn’t want this to turn into something more.”

“I’m glad you called her,” Gareth walks up behind her, wraps his arms around her waist, buries his nose in her neck. She laughs, stops chopping so she can settle her hands on his arms. “He’s a shitty guy. I know he would’ve leaked some stuff on Eddie and he doesn’t deserve that. He’s doing good, but he’s still…you know.”

They all worried more about Eddie. He was doing okay most of the time, but he still gets in these moods where no one, not even Steve or Gareth, can get to him. He just lays in bed for a couple days, sulks around the house, and then he’s okay again. It’s hard to watch. It’s a bit of a red flag, honestly.

But as far as they all know, he’s never turned to using during those periods.

“Do you wanna talk about what he’s got?” Di offers, but in the way she always does, where he knows she won’t push.

“He saw Eddie at his worst. You know he never cheated on Steve,” Gareth takes a deep breath. “But there was one time when he did a line off a woman’s stomach. He threw up after. This guy had pictures of it all. Plus stuff I don’t even know about and don’t wanna know about.”

“So you were protecting him.”

“Yeah. I’d do the same for any of them.”

“I know,” she sighs, kisses his cheek, turns back to start chopping again. He doesn’t move, just rests his forehead against her shoulder. “And you know even if it was something worse, I’d be here for you.”

“Yeah,” his voice comes out shaky. He’s doing good, but he knows if he weren’t, she’d still be with him. She’s waited for him through everything, she’s supported him in the times when he least deserved it. She always will. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she says. “Can you stir the pasta?”

“Yep.”

He kisses her shoulder and does as she asked. He’d do anything for her, just as he does anything for him. Good or bad, she’s got his back.

[hullomoon]

On This Day in Schitt's Creek: July 7

2018

Language of Love [david/patrick, G, 886] by @aokayinspace

It's David and Patrick's wedding and they exchange vows.

The Proposal [david/patrick, G, 1,422] by @howami40

David proposes to Patrick.

2019

Cheers (Drink to That) [david/patrick, G, 605] by @holmesapothecary

The first night in their new house.

Control [david/patrick, E, 7,319] by @codswalloping

Patrick wants to tie David up. Things don't exactly go according to plan.

Gifts [david/patrick, M, 2,160] by TayTay4936

When a mysterious woman shows up at the motel one night, offering Moira the one thing she dreams of more than anything, she doesn't expect it to come at such a cost.

love me lights out [david/patrick, T, 1,938] by wardo_wedidit

"Nooooo,” David whines dramatically, fumbling one hand away from where he’s holding Patrick to cover his face. “Stevie, we agreed, only artists that have been pre-approved by me. No Vanilla Ice.” Or, a short drabble about David's bachelor party going off the rails.

never said that to anyone else [david/patrick, E, 5,699] by simplytheworst

David brings back Patrick's tea for their perfect moment, but the store gets busy and they can't seem to get that moment back.

this is his life now... [david/patrick, M, 1,575] by @startswithhope

Honestly, I just needed to write something soft and it turned into a bit of smut... this is set a week after Singles Week and their first "I love you" declarations.

Wild/Wired [david/patrick, T, 9,887] by @vodka-rocks-and-a-piece-of-toast @yerbamansa

Anthology-style short AU stories inspired by/stolen from sci-fi/fantasy, but with David and Patrick. Silly? Yes. Cute? We hope so. See notes for easy story index.

2020

And Baby Makes Three [david/patrick, E, 7,696] by princesstigerlily

A few years into their marriage, David changes his mind about a Very Big Thing. He chooses to bring it up over dinner, in the middle of the fanciest French restaurant Elmdale has to offer. Kinky sex and tenderness ensue.

Happy Surprises [david/patrick, E, 1,082] by @mickeysmyheart

"Imagine David's first birthday after the finale. When he doesn't hear from his parents or Alexis, he thinks they've forgotten about him again. But then there's a knock on the door and all 3 of them are there in Schitt's Creek because they wanted to celebrate with him in person."

I Think She Knows [stevie/alexis, M, 35,417] by stevierosebudds

Post-"Happy Ending." Stevie is sorting out her feelings for a certain Rose, and it's not the one you think.

I'm Part of You Indefinitely [david/patrick, E, 4,019] by @streetlampsunset

Most Brewer men could visit the lives of their alternate selves once they found the person they were meant to be with. The fact that he had woken up here, today, meant that David returned his love. The first jump was involuntary, but now all he had to do was close his eyes to see the vastness of the multiverse spread before him, all the ways he and David would find each other. The gravity of it all swelled inside him; he spilled over with love for David Rose. Patrick spends some time with an alternate version of the man he loves.

Lessons to Unlearn [david/patrick, T, 10,632] by @agoodpersonrose

5 things David has to unlearn about relationships, and the things that David and Patrick learn together.

Not Quite [david/patrick, T, 670] by @patrickredactedbrewer

David was already snoring by the time Patrick curled into him, and he thought I’m going to listen to him snore for as long as we both shall live, my lawfully-wedded husband, and then his eyes popped back open. Or It is unlikely Moira actually had the power to legally marry them.

sing [david/patrick, E, 2,497] by @wild-aloof-rebel

Patrick gives David a three-month anniversary gift.

2022

[Fan art: AO3 logo designs] [david/patrick, G, art] by mallpretzles

Reimagined designs using the associated colors of Patrick, David, and the Schitt’s Creek show logo.

Slow In the Stock Room [david/patrick, E, 2,071] by swift_wind

“Thank you for letting me think this through.” Patrick pulls David round and sits him on the sofa.“I don’t need for us to get naked right now.” David almost looks disappointed, but schools his face quickly, and Patrick smirks.“But I do, with some urgency, need to make you come.” ___ David gives Patrick some time to think on what 'taking things slow' means for them

2023

later [david/patrick, G, 360] by @enablelove

What if David and Patrick realize there's something more between them the day of the store opening?

2024

Dress Rehearsal [david/patrick, T, 1,044] by @characterassassination-at-9am

They have their first dress rehearsal for Cabaret. Patrick likes his show makeup...or he likes that David likes it...but has a hard time admitting it.

Heather [david/patrick, G, 100] by @ramonaflow

Stats:

No fanworks for 2017 or 2021 2018: 2 fics/2,308 words 2019: 7 fics/29,183 words 2020: 7 fics/62,013 words 2022: 2 fanworks (1 fic, 1 art)/2,071 words 2023: 1 fic/360 words 2024: 2 fics/1,144 words Total: 21 fanworks (20 fics, 1 fanart)/97,079 words

[hullomoon]

chappell was right it's like 199 degrees

[hullomoon]

turkey vultures in july 🦴

[hullomoon]

phones love to go "do you want to clear up .3 GB by deleting these cherished pictures that you havent looked at in more than 30 days?" while also installing random apps and AI bullshit you didnt ask for. and you cant even uninstall half the apps

[hullomoon]

"What's gonna happen when we graduate?"

The cast of series 19 of Taskmaster

[hullomoon]

wallpapers :)

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S19E06

[hullomoon]

platonic shuffle ➛ hugs schitt's creek (2015—2020) | s02e06

[hullomoon]

Abbott Elementary (2021-) 2.01 - Development Day

[hullomoon]

sorry if i'm gonna be quiet for a while. my country recently introduced laws that make it so that in order to use social media to the fullest (not being able to view ns/fw content and in a few cases, not even having access to dms), i HAVE to give the sites my id/face scan.

it goes into effect july 25th. it'll probably effect here too, since this place allows mature content (tho not full on ns/fw)

i'm very distressed about it bc i might end up not even being able to talk to my internet friends. i don't really have any irl ones

if i have to disappear on most socials by then, you know why.