i-belong-to-none

[i-belong-to-none]

One minute I'm okay, and then the next, I feel this insatiable void of sadness and a pit of despair like I'll never be okay again, and life has nothing good for me. I'm so stuck in the routine of nothingness I have forgotten what it's like to be free. I am the bird and I am the cage and I can't get myself out.

[i-belong-to-none]

Forget me

Forget what I look like, the way my brows seem to change daily from over-scrutinizing them, the way I do my makeup to hide my imperfections, the way my hair seems to frizz only around my face

Forget the clothes I wear, the ensembles to match each season and mood, the outfits that speak “I didn’t try today” or “I tried too hard”

Forget how I acted last week, I was pms-ing and overstimulated, I’m sorry I acted like a jerk

Forget the times I did myself a disservice by staying with people who treated me poorly, letting them walk all over me because “oh, it's just so nice to have someone who likes me”

Forget the times I stared at people in public or didn’t bother to carry a conversation because I felt incapable, I promise I’m not a mean person

Forget what I said to you that one time, I didn’t mean it, I was jealous, angry, hurt

Forget my hobbies from three years ago, I’m not the same person, I like to read and write and paint now

Forget what you think of me

Forget what you know of me

Because I am not that nor have I been anything I’ve said

My soul awaits deep inside of me, ready for the day I lose my body

The body that's carried me from infancy, the one littered with scars and imperfections, the one I tried to fix, the one that people complimented, the one I used to hurt others, the one that tried to fit into standards

My soul is disattached from this world

Nothing I can do, say, or anything absorbed by society will change it, harm it

Forget me

Because you do not know my soul

[i-belong-to-none]

Drug of choice...fanfiction 🫦

[i-belong-to-none]

Journaling is a selcouth catharsis of undeniable importance, laying waste to the drudgery of life by battling your emotions until your hand hurts. Journaling is like a mosaic of time and experiences, glimpses of your past self scattered on every page. Journaling is so beautiful because you can see that no matter what you experience, there's always an entry after.

[i-belong-to-none]

All the boys I have met suffocate and cling and try to hold me too close despite my persistence that I need space

[i-belong-to-none]

I've been dreaming about the same guy for almost two years. I don't know why, I mean, I don't think about him. Rarely do my thoughts wander to him on their own, I'm usually guided towards the thought of him after I have a dream. Something about him has stuck with me like hot maple syrup down the side of a glass leaf jar, and for a moment, I wonder if he dreams of me too.