i-mean-its-practically-canon

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

Bruce: Stephanie?

Robin!Stephanie: Yes?

Bruce: I have a critique.

Stephanie: Go on.

Bruce: Sometimes you behave less...well than anyone has ever behaved.

Stephanie: I see. Strikes me as the pot calling the kettle black, don't you think?

Bruce: Touché.

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

Stephanie: I would kill for a burger.

Tim: I can get you a burger.

Stephanie: Aww. He's such a good provider. Husband material.

Dick: You're not married.

Stephanie: Why buy the cow when I can get the cheeseburger for free?

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

@pricetagofficial said: Nah I think it's only Bruce Wayne, and everyone is just a figment of his imagination

Oh thank God. I thought I was gonna have to read a comic.

Wait there are other DC characters?

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

Wait there are other DC characters?

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

What does Bruce have against Etsy?

Is he pissed that he couldn't buy it?

Tim goes wild for monogramed gifties. It's frankly irresponsible. Everybody else can use it though.

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

how come u dont post more of dc outside of batfam /genq

I'm a one trick pony, baby

(you can submit whatever you want btw) (I might even get around to posting it)

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

Why do you tag your posts as satire? They're not satire.

That's my name.

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

Dick: What are you doing?

Jason: What?

Dick: Those are my tights.

Jason: I'm Robin.

Dick: I beg your pardon!?

Jason: I'm Robin. Bruce said I could be.

Dick:

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

Stephanie: You know, you should be nicer to me. I'm the only low maintenance one.

Bruce: Sure.

Stephanie: I'm like a Honda.

Bruce: A what?

Stephanie: .....

Stephanie: I'm like a Lexus.

Bruce: Ah.

Stephanie: Yeah.

Bruce: Good starter car.

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

Tim: *pulls out a bag of vitamins*

Tim: I require a lot of maintenance.

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

Bruce: I love all of my children equally.

Jason, who secretly wants to be the favorite:

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

Tim: So you know how I always wanted to be Robin?

Dick: Yeah.

Tim: Especially when Jason was Robin. He was so cool. No offense.

Dick: Uh. Okay.

Tim: And I used to think about it all the time, how I'd really, really love to be Robin, if the position weren't already filled.

Dick: ....okay.

Tim: Do you think I killed Jason with my mind?

Dick: Tim. Please.

Tim: I swear it was an accident.

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

Dick: What are you doing?

Jason: What?

Dick: Those are my tights.

Jason: I'm Robin.

Dick: I beg your pardon!?

Jason: I'm Robin. Bruce said I could be.

Dick:

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

Tim: So you know how Jason has a cat?

Jason, with a little cat hiding in his jacket: No I don't.

Dick: Yeah.

Tim: I think I would like a pet too.

Dick: Oh?

Jason, trying to muffle the sound of purring: I don't have a pet. You're thinking of Damian.

Tim: I put a collar on one of the bats.

Dick: ....Is that safe?

Tim: For me, or for the bat?

Dick: Both, probably?

Jason, with a little cat nose sticking out of his collar: Both.

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

Hello Kitty and Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes are the angel and devil on Jason's shoulders, respectively.

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

Dick: Can you please stop being so mean to Tim?

Jason: Remember when I was twelve, and you told me that if I didn't stop bugging you, then Jon Bon Jovi would kill Bruce?

Dick: Bon Jovi?!

Jason: Yeah.

Dick: And you believed me?

Jason: Not really. Well, not entirely. On account of Bruce being so big. I figured he could take Bon Jovi down if he had to. But I also didn't know about Batman yet, and I didn't have any reason not to believe you.

Dick: Wow, Jay—

Jason: Meanness builds character. You've made me into the man I am today.

[i-mean-its-practically-canon]

Dick: Why do I feel like you did something shifty?

Tim, who did something shifty: Your suspicious nature is not your best quality. You should work on that.