inbetween-life-and-sanity

[inbetween-life-and-sanity]

I think I want to write stories that can easily be misunderstood. I want to explore the darkest parts of humanity. I want to write it in a way that forces the reader to read it a second time or even more to grab the full depth of it. I want to be an author of stories that, at first glance, seem romanticising of the most reprehensible acts we as humans are capable of. I want my stories to reflect the cruelty of life.

[inbetween-life-and-sanity]

It's so weird to me when people are like 'but that will cost the government money!' So what? They're the government, they're supposed to be spending money. What, you want them to take your tax dollars and then do nothing with it? Lock it all up in a big government vault and just look at it? Why are you so scared of giving a third grader lunch or a homeless person a house.

[inbetween-life-and-sanity]

Sometimes, it's hard to answer my friends even though I want to.

[inbetween-life-and-sanity]

Today, I ate only two fried eggs, and I'm frustrated that it isn't more, something more like a full meal. But at the same time, I am grateful that I at least ate something and didn't go a full day without eating.

[inbetween-life-and-sanity]

And what nobody gets; I can fight, I will fight, I do fight, but I'm not a fighter

[inbetween-life-and-sanity]

I don't like to inform myself about politics because it's depressing and I have no power to change anything about it.

[inbetween-life-and-sanity]

I feel like a fraud in my own life.

[inbetween-life-and-sanity]

I can full heartily say that I hate humans.

And still chose not to show everyone that I do because I also believe that showing kindness and respect should be a given unless they are assholes.

[inbetween-life-and-sanity]

Sometimes I start to overthink my friendships when my friends forget me, even though I know they don't mean any harm and it wasn't purposely.

[inbetween-life-and-sanity]

Like, you know you can't be pregnant unless you're the new Virgin Mary, but the relief when your period finally comes a week and a half late.

[inbetween-life-and-sanity]

I didn't know I needed the safety of close friends groups until I had them.

[inbetween-life-and-sanity]

And to tell the truth, I don't know if I could do all of this, if I hadn't all my friends.

[inbetween-life-and-sanity]

Sometimes I just want to quit every thing and be the disappointment that I feel like.

[inbetween-life-and-sanity]

Life is;

waking up way to early to be where you have to be,

that also starts at an way too early time,

to feel like the living death the whole day through

and then have the feeling of having a little power at the evening to do the preparation that you need to,

just to feel exhausted right into it,

then going to sleep,

just to lay awake in the bed and think what the hell the point of all of this is.

[inbetween-life-and-sanity]

And sometimes I don't have the power nor the will to push through it.

[inbetween-life-and-sanity]

I'm just exhausted.

[inbetween-life-and-sanity]

I should eat, I know what I would make but I just can't bring myself to make something.