incorrect-kaput-and-zosky-quotes

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Okay so, I think the roles might be incorrect for a scenario like this, but I still thought this was funny.

(Location: Discotekus)

Zösky: Wanna dance?

Kaput: I don't know how.

Zösky, flirtatiously: Neither do I.

Both: *Lying down on the dance floor as the music plays*

Source: asdfmovie15 (skip to 1:32 for the skit in question)

[incorrect-kaput-and-zosky-quotes]

I know this blog is probably dead, but I'm gonna submit this anyway.

Zösky: Oh my god, Kaput!

Kaput: What?

Zösky: You crisperized our waiter!

Kaput: What was I supposed to do? He came at me with a knife!

Zösky: Because you ordered the stake!

Kaput: That is… NOT an excuse.

Source: Sanity Not Included (Season 2 Episode 2)

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Kaput: Wait, did you just flirt with me?

Zösky: Have been for the past year but thanks for noticing!

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Kaput, holding a scooter: Zösky! Can I go outside and play with this? Zösky: Sure, whatever. I'm not your mother. Kaput, running outside: Thanks Zösky! Zösky, running out after him and screaming: NOT ON THE STREET! STAY AWAY!

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Zoobooboo: Are you this rude to everyone? Kaput: Yup. Kaput: Don't think you're special.

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Zösky: Hello Kaput, made anyone cry today? Kaput: Sadly, no. But it’s only 4:30.

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Kaput: Something’s off. Zoobooboo: Maybe you’ve finally developed actual emotions and feel bad for hurting people. Kaput: No, but that’s funny.

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Zoobooboo, to Kaput: Hah, look at you! All cute and small! I could just eat you up! Kaput: *proceeds to kick her in the shin and run away* Zoobooboo: Ow, what the fuck! Zösky, walking past: Rule number 1, don't call Kaput cute or small

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Zoobooboo: You are irrationally angry 365 days a year. Kaput: Well, that’s just your personal opinion, I don’t have anger issues. Do you think I have anger issues, Zösky? Zösky: Well, I wouldn’t really call it an issue. An issue is generally something you can fix.

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Kaput: I love hearing Zösky shout at somebody else; it makes for such a nice change.

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Zösky: Kaput annoyed me today so I told him that I can’t wait to see what he has planned for our special day tomorrow. Zoobooboo: What's special about tomorrow? Zösky: Oh nothing, but there is something special about watching the color leave his face as panic takes over.

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Zoobooboo: Something tells me Kaput's going to be a little more unhinged today... Kaput, holding a lit match and a bag of cheetos: Leave me be, Zösky isn't here to stop me, I'm going feral.

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Kaput: You need to be a little more careful, Zösky. Zösky, who was dragged into Kaput's issue: Careful? CAREFUL?! I'LL CAREFULLY WRAP MY HANDS AROUND YOUR THROAT-

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Kaput: Are you busy? Zösky: Yes. Kaput: Cool, so the other day--

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Kaput: *Accidentally eats something too spicy so his eyes start to water* Zösky: Kaput, look at me. It's okay. I would die for you. I love you so much. You're the best person I know. Kaput: Wh-?! Hey, get off of me! Zösky, hugging Kaput's head: Shush dear, it's okay. I'm here and I love you with my whole heart. Everything's going to be okay.

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Kaput You’re drunk. Zösky: Correction: drinking. Present tense. Grammar, Kaput.

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Kaput: Are you coming to bed? Zösky: I can't. This is important. Kaput: What? Zösky: Someone is wrong on the internet.