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Kidnapper, on the phone: We have your member.

Dann: Which one?

Kidnapper: Louis.

Dann: Oh no, you don't have him.

Dann: He has you.

Dann: Good luck! [hangs up]

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Dongheon: Kangmin is the best! But he's seventeen.

Dongheon: When Kangmin was born, I was already in third grade. Which means if we were friends back then, I'd have been hanging out with a baby.

Dongheon: ...

Dongheon: I don't know anything about infant care!

Dongheon, to himself: Oh my god, I could've killed him.

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Hi everyone! @thetinyjunghoseokstan and I have been working on this project for a long ass time and we finally got ourselves together enough to make it shareable! 

Have you ever had a sudden startling (and sometimes disturbing) realization that two idols have a much different age gap than you perceived? Well, so did we, all the time, so we decided to make a chart to keep track of who was born when so that we could have startling realizations whenever we want! Then we kept going with other topics and well, here we are.

A few caveats about the following charts: as of right now, they only include boy groups, although I’m slowly working on getting girl groups added in as well. There are some groups that we left out because we just couldn’t feasibly include everyone. We are not taking suggestions for boy groups to add because we have literally run out of distinct colors. I will take suggestions for girl groups; just DM me.

There are also a few members of some groups that we’ve left out because they were involved in major scandals (i.e. Burning Sun) or just generally make us uncomfortable. We also didn’t include SHINee at all, for personal reasons. Finally, some groups have their former members as well, some don’t. It depends on how recently they left and how we felt about either including them or deleting them. 

For the height one specifically, it’s based off the heights listed on KProfiles for each group. We only monitor younger groups like NCT Dream to update heights, which means that if new heights for older groups come out, they might not be updated in that chart. Each column in this chart is in age order.

So yeah! Enjoy! (You’re more than welcome to share these links around as long as you credit us! I’ll also be posting them on Twitter.)

Age order

Height order

Zodiac order

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Kevin: Don’t you know Canada is the most redneck part of the world?

Eric: Have you heard of Louisiana?

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Dear followers

We’ve seen the sad news this morning that Sulli (Choi Jinri) of f(x) has passed away. While we ourselves aren’t heavily affected by this, we know that many of you may be and would like to offer our inboxes for anyone needing to talk. You can find us at @sunnyuto or @thetinyjunghoseokstan if you need to talk to someone today.

Our condolences go out to the Choi family, the f(x) members, and all SM artists and staff.

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Hello everyone!

We know we’ve been a little scarce on this account, and that's because we've been doing a lot of writing together, so much that we've kind of forgotten how to write separately. That's why this year, we decided to participate in Inktober!

We'll be writing the same prompts, same groups, same pairings/people, but our own separate takes for every day of October. All of the stories can be found in this series!

Hope you enjoy!

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Minho: You can control white people by giving them cheese.

Chan: Cheese is so good though.

Minho: I got one!

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Kai: I want a Bernese mountain dog.

Xiumin: Oh my god, no, the shedding!

Kai: Drown me in fur.

Xiumin:

Kai: I’m ready.

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S.Coups: I keep a daily planner and a calendar, both of which are used to record important events.

Woozi: How's that working out for you?

S.Coups: It isn't.

Woozi: Hm.

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Jaehyun: Sounds like he's against Nazis so...let's hear him out?

Kun: That can NOT be where the bar is!

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I'm sorry I can't read, but I'm not sorry that Woojin's hot!

Bang Chan, at least once a day

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Hyojong, on insta live: Hello. A lot of you have had questions about my hair.

Hyuna, reading off questions: Number one: are you Jimmy Neutron?

Hyojong: No, but I am fucking your mom.

Hyuna: Number two: are you Sonic the Hedgehog?

Hyojong: No, but I am fucking your mom.

Hyuna: Number three: are you the Mad Hatter?

Hyojong: No, but I’m fucking your mom.

Hyuna: Number four: are you an e-boy?

Hyojong: Yes, and I’m fuc-

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Hyunjin: Are you hacking into the government HMO database? Is that legal?

Jeongin: Of course not. We'll go to prison and you'll become someone's bitch.

Hyunjin:

Hyunjin: Really?

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Shownu, to Changkyun: WHO RAISED YOU????

Nu'bility, looking the other way: Not a clue.

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E’Dawn? Did you mean: Hui’s emotional support k-pop boy?

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Changkyun: Thank you, Kihyun, I love how you just ruined my dramatic introduction.

Kihyun: Well, your face ruined my day, so.

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Xiumin: Kyungsoo is NOT a parent figure.

Lay: No, but he’s more responsible than most of them.

Xiumin: He’s like that shady uncle, but not creepy shady, just like inexplicably rich shady.

Lay: ...life goals.

Xiumin: He’s like a rich gay wine aunt!

Lay:...you’re so right.