#source: my inability to read

[nieranddear]

I know it was probably supposed to be to be in tags but I soon realized that it just Couldn't possibly fit so... here is a whole 3k+ word semi structured ramble on the matter [being Ayin and what the hell that man is] and my own thoughts on him. I hope you’re fine with it

Sympathetic, yes. Excused and able to be seen as a saint or the sort where his actions are 'justifiable' or that he is a 'good man'? Oh fuck no. Absolutely not. How about a Monster? Easily a flat out no. Does that make him a horrible person or ‘bad person’? I can’t say for sure as the definition of both depends on who you ask, but in mine it he isn’t a ‘bad person’. It would be far easier to be able to call him a bad person. A Monster. But he isn’t. He’s a person with numerous sins and blood on his hands but ultimately he is just a Person. Human. Painfully Human. Mind you, I've only played Lobcorp. Nothing on Ruina so perhaps my opinion may change. I will say this first. Just because he expresses guilt and remorse, just because he actively shows and expresses care for those around him in forms to where it was true and unfiltered [Abel “ Fatigue and Waiting” meltdown, Abram “Regret and Atonement” meltdown, day 40 literally deadass] it doesn't mean shit to those he hurt if he, Ayin, the man at his core, doesn't go ahead and attempt to Make It So his wrongs are even somewhat put right. Which he does. In a way that I’ll talk about in mixed feelings later. It doesn't resolve him of the 'sins' or his faults. But he is so so painfully Human. Which is why I do like him, as a character at least, and can feel sympathy for his plight. Just because one feels sympathy doesn’t mean that the person they can feel it towards is ‘clean’ or doesn’t hold ‘sin’ or, in a way that sounds less pretentious and used more commonly in the internet, ‘unproblematic’.

Perhaps the main problem with him is that he never did Stop. A huge thing when revolving around him. Not looking back, refusing in a way and unable in another. Be it in needing progress, to a want to achieve the goal he sees entrusted onto him from, seemingly, a woman he joined the project for and solely for as “...She wanted to save them, and guide their souls back… to dedicate herself to save humanity. Yet I, who held no such ambition, had to continue her legacy” [Day 50]. No such ambition to save humanity, for he “Lost [his] heart” and had known for a “very long time.”. Yet he didn’t stop and continued to carry her will and bring the Project to an end and was determined to do so by any means necessary For Her. Be it by not turning around to look at the bodies along his path or the fact guilt holds so heavy on his body he doesn’t look to see such a thing [Elijah, Binah's story [4] "And what happened to that coward? The one who with fear averted his gaze from my dying one." “Erasing your memories and running away from them as if nothing happened is your age-old specialty.”, Day 40 and the existence of the cognition filter in the first place and the response ‘Can you stop the recording, please?’, Abel on Day 47 “Yet you did not care to witness his final moments.”]. Or dulling himself to the atrocities he gradually grew and tumbled down into as the domino chain kept falling and the thorns along that past never subsided, getting even more grueling of a path to endure as time went on. The part that has me struggle to pin him as a ‘mastermind’ or the sort is the fact he Does express that guilt and remorse and even acknowledgement for his faults and acts.

Even though I did say it ‘didn’t mean shit’. Yes, to those he hurt it doesn’t, yet it doesn’t automatically disqualify either side’s pain. You can’t just go ahead and decide that one person’s suffering isn’t able to be taken into account solely due to the fact they also inflicted pain and hurt. Even if you don’t agree nor forgive, it still Does exist. If you shut out another solely due to the fact of personal vendetta or general hate you’re still silencing another. Yes, you can have an opinion but completely disregarding another, even if you did deem them ‘horrible’, is still Disregarding Another’s Feelings and Pain or even how they got to that point. He is someone that holds care. Yet he is also someone who did some unforgivable shit. Which is fine to not be fine with. But focusing on one side, that part of ‘Cruelty’ or part of ‘Affection’ without acknowledging the other is still ignoring the facets of the man. Which he has many of. He is someone that shows remorse and has a whole struggle with existing which can be seen in the later days. He is someone that can be seen calling it what it is. [Abram’s mentioning of them becoming “cruel” “We destroyed everything while holding her warmth in our hands.” Abram in his entirety even if the words are soaked inside guilt and self-hate it’s still aware of the actions, of day 50 and in its entirety “As you can see, we’ve become just like other Wings, committing atrocities just like them. The employees here have repeated hundreds upon thousands of deaths… My friends were robbed of their lives and trapped in this cycle of agony… All while I just sat and watch, justifying it all as the means to realize her ideal. This sin shall never be forgiven.”, Day 47’s “You realized how innocent, talented souls of young persons were trapped into machines by your hands, haven’t you?”] The idea of ‘Well why didn’t he Just stop? Just Notice it then? Not Do all of these heinous acts? Why didn’t he talk to Michelle and not experiment on Giovanni? Why didn’t he not force the procedure on Gabriel and not turn around and be safer with the key and with Elijah?’ It’s because he’s Human. He, Ayin, is a man shown to not stop at any means to realize a goal. Ayin is a man who doesn’t seem to be able to stop in his own mind, as shown before, and also a man who quite literally Didn’t Realize at the time what would happen with Elijah and Gabriel. Of the hazy specifics on the experiment with Enoch which was voted for as they didn’t want to lose their ‘binding light and ideal’ Carmen [Who is ultimately Human I love Carmen but this is a post about Ayin]. A man good with machines and the scientific part of things, methodical in the creation of a script, yet lacking inside the aspects that relate to the emotional response [See the ‘Old Lab’ as I don’t quite know the name so that is what I’ll be referring to it as with Michelle, Gabriel, Elijah, the lack of words to Daniel in the end, hurting the heart of the man that stayed by him to the end where he left as well. The obsession and drive for the project causing those nearby him to die. For the drive to get results and progress on research to complete the goal causing him to also be blinded by that and finally directly have blood on his hands with Giovanni not including the self blame of ‘driving her to her death’ (Paraphrased) with Carmen.] It’s only after the fact and after he is forced to stop [The Project halting in a way and the loops taking place over years and years] or after the fact itself [The talks from A when a Core Meltdown is about to happen and after it does is known to be after the fact though the actual time of realization is hazy, either it be directly after the death or awhile after, but it doesn’t matter as it is a realization that occurs after the tragedy happened] does he realize the mistakes and faults when looking back. [This can also be seen in Abel in his entirety. “We were too naive. I could only realize what wrongdoings we have done after transiently passing all these years.”]

It’s the fact he is self-reflective in the terms of knowing his faults after the fact, the fact he punishes himself [Loops, Binah [4] “Why is he down here suffering the same punishment as I?”, Day 35, Direct calling of this as a ‘Prison’ multiple times.], the fact that even still he persists for the wish of another when wanting to “Fade” and “Be forgotten” [Day 47,  Hokma Story 5, the elaborate farewell that is day 50, the desire and want to “Fade away without a trace” seen inside the Final Days and Hokma’s Story 5], the fact he sinks so commonly into the pit of guilt and regret [Abram in his entirety huge emphasis on Abram and his existence, Day 38 “It was also my role to butter you up with plain words, to help you avoid sinking into the pit of guilt”, Day 40 Again.], the fact he tries to rectify his mistakes and still pursue the goal of another, all for another [Day 43 “ I did not approve of you placing the Sephirot here. However, you told me that your atonement and the awakening of the Sephirot were key to the untying of this knot I lie in.”, the fact he sees himself as a core cause of Carmen’s death and feeling as he needs to complete her will in a way because of her no longer being there, the whole facility being ‘Penance’ mentioned by Adam who is a whole other thing that is fairly simple yet wordy to even talk about]. Ayin is a Man. Not a monster. Nor a genius manipulator that pulled every single string for his Script brings the ‘play’ to conclusion and the Project to its end in that part but still neglects various this [being emotional/mental aspects which is a common thing with him. That and completely lacking Angela in the end without her ever getting a conclusion in his script. STUPID script by the way]. He’s a Man who, when running to a goal, wouldn’t look back and almost in a way couldn’t for he had to bury that emotional response to be able to bear it all. A man who, inside his grief, is seen and stated to be is irritable and irrational [Snow Queen entry, Day 31 “If a ray of sunlight breaks your heart and collapses your mind with longing and nostalgia… And seeing plants outside evokes an unknown rage, tearing down your rational thought… Then we have no choice but to stay underground”]. A man who acknowledges himself [Abram] that he isn’t “normal” nor sane. A man who saw that he needed to bury his emotions underneath rationality and for his goal and who, scarily, started to become numb and apathetic to the acts the longer they went on. Became numb. Those actions that instilled fear, as it was stated to be fear, slowly happening again and again and causing the numbness. Just… the entirety of the Final Days and especially day 47 on this specific matter. Lobotomy corporation is a wonderful game I adore but it doesn’t know the word ‘subtly’ in any manner of speaking. If it wants to communicate something, it’ll say it upright. Which makes it a bit more confusing when some words may be seen as deceitful . Yes, it’s a good thing to think about the intent behind the words, but also just the plain style of how the story is delivered doesn’t make much wiggle room as it ends up plainly laying it out to the reading. It’s Very Clear on it. You see the struggles of the Sephirot, and then it is mirrored inside A, Ayin, himself. That’s how the game is also literally structured. Needing those answers from the Sephirot who mirror his own agony and struggle  in order to tell those resolutions and resolves he saw inside those people to the fragments of himself.

I totally understand why people would hate him or dislike him as a character. He's hurt so many people and taken so many lives. Done things seen as 'too far' which, yeah, absolutely can see that and I'm not excited to learn about how exactly the rest of this City functions as well. Do I believe him to be a monster? Nothing of the sort. All of his struggle stems from the fact he is so rawly Human. Do I believe he needs to be forgiven? No. No. I don't believe he should be for his actions. I don't think he Needs to be forgiven. I think they need to, his faults, be addressed. In fact it feels weird when people just forgive him for it all. He, himself, states something of the like on Day 50. He's left so many with wounds and scars that won't heal. Hurt the hearts of those nearby him and left until there was none and then only Angela which I’m not well equipped to talk about as from what I’ve heard LOR discusses her own journey and pains. But I feel as if saying he's a ‘monster’ completely ignores the other parts of his character which Are There. He’s not a messiah or anything idealized, nor is he without fault, nor does that pain and guilt erase everything. He's a person who is stubborn and adamant on achieving something when he goes ahead and dedicates himself to a cause. He’s someone who doesn’t communicate and whose face is commonly flat most of the time and seen to be in the memories at the least [Hokma, Gebura story, Day 50 expressions]. He's someone who held such love in his heart as I tend to point out in other parts and get stuck on, they used ‘Loved ones’ to describe the others. He’s someone who fully felt as if the will to live and exist died the moment Carmen did, as if his life held no meaning, as if dependent on her [Day 47 stated, shown in practice further Day 48].  He’s someone who used justifications and passing things off in the sake of a goal that he clings to as it was one of the only things he had left of Carmen at that point, especially since it was a request asked of Carmen herself. Justifications for numerous amounts of agony and torment. Grief that shrouded his actions in pain and irritability and cruelty. Yet a man who also still holds himself accountable and hates himself for feeling unable to protect those people who he considers dear to him. A man who deems himself and his existence as "very wrong". "Wrong from the start."

It feels as if some people are reluctant to bring up aspects of him? Brought up before it feels as if a layer or aspect of Ayin is taken and then the other parts of him fall to the wayside. Not quite sure where to go with this but it's a thing that feels as if it occurs. I say feel for I can't find any actual concrete examples so I won't say 'notice' or that it 'totally does happen!' so I'll leave that thought as this small section since I can't elaborate further

Ayin is Fucked. Absolutely, thoroughly. Yet in a way that the patterns and rationale for being brought to that point is understandable of How. I can’t find it in me to look for sources right now but from what I remember it’s as if Carmen was his only source to strive for. A blinding beacon that wasn’t like any other who had an earnest wish to save and support those inside this hell hole of a City that so easily seems to cut down and devalue life. One stated to be of survival where fear needs to be consumed to continue on living. Of one so focused upon advancements where the idea of empathy has degraded, systematically at least in that stand point. Endless continuation stepping over the bodies of others. Yet Carmen was always said and shown to be so vastly different. It feels as if he kind of clung to her in a way. As if a whole part of him physically Died the moment she could never smile anymore. Almost extremely dependent. It's easy to see how a man so attached could end up doing such things if it seems as if the person he felt took his Being away when she died asked it of him. Do I think that Ayin was doing this completely inside of how she would’ve wished or wanted? NO. She literally states herself that her goal wasn’t to become a wing yet L corp ends up as a wing for reasons relating to the monitoring of the Head. One of MANY examples, the other being the, oh I don’t know, numerous amounts of bodies they had to step over with. Perhaps the "Unique cruelty unable to be found in any other wing." Yet it's also stated that Ayin’s very heart is described as a void where the pieces of a heart used to be or something along those lines. That he shows a crushing and suffocating amount of guilt for everything. That he closed his eyes and ears to everything to become numb. Yet a facet of himself still basically berates and Knows deeply and regrets for if he didn't why the Hell would Abram exist? Yet, again, this brings into the fact that just because he regets it all and shows remorse and a want for repentance if he doesn't actually end up doing something relating to it or even communicate it to others it, on its own, won't 'Mean' much. I say 'mean' as emotions do, even if not communicated, have weight. But also this is a man who had done horrific, heinous shit. Let's see some Change, brother, come on man stop getting stuck inside that cycle and idea of the inability to move forward or change the past actions you also hate and the path you took that stripped you away of what could be considered your 'humanity'. Learn to. Well. Live. Live with it, too. Which is a whole thing they're trying to get people to do. Live. Not just survive. Practice what you want to bring forth and preach, man. Even if it were for the sake of another. Do it for her...

[Next part is from souly the perspective of someone that has yet to Play LOR but will soon.]

On the idea of how they handled him at the end of Lobcorp…. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I HOPE. I HOPE that they bring him back. Not in a way to where he has to be an active figure, but more of to where he can’t just fade away or forgotten the way he yearned to. I want that fucker to face what he has done. I don’t want him to be able to fulfill the Seed of Light Project and that’s it. There’s so much he has to atone for. It feels almost cheap to just have it seemingly stop at day 50 the way it did. I Want him to be able to atone [not to be confused with needless and endless berating for it will get nowhere]. To try and own up to his actions. To be that ‘better person’ he so deems himself incapable of being constantly. To not ‘Fade’ like he so wants to and actively yearns for and that want to die. No one has to forgive nor forget. I don’t want that shit to be swept under the rug so doing such a thing would feel flat. Gaping wounds he left behind hadn’t ever been fully addressed. The Sephirot found their reasons and ability to keep going in the Company but never really any active repentance or show of remorse Directly To Them by Ayin. Hey, big problem with Ayin, He Doesn’t Communicate Or Express when he is feeling things. One of the only reasons we as the viewer are even able to sort him out internally is because we see it all from His View. God I just HOPE that they do something more with him. They made a character that encompasses all of the struggles and pains of the others, yet not just used as a narrative device for ‘hey, get better and push on! Face your past! Confront it and even if you can’t find the ‘Answer’ or ‘Reason’ to now, just the ability to change and face and bear it is a start to even begin to Live!’ I know it was likely due to time constraints or how the game itself is structured. The days system that’s limited with the further details on Ayin and Carmen being crammed into the later parts after the rest as the lower layer seems to be implemented near the final parts when they actually added Carmen as an entity entirely from what can be reviewed and recalled at the moment. Either way, I really want him to finally not be a bitch when it comes to the others and actually start expressing that love he so feels for the rest by Doing something for Them. Instead of it all just being the project or bringing them back which was, indeed, a goal they all wanted but it was also done by the huge drive to finish Carmen's dream and will. Not for the Sephirot themself though perhaps there was also a drive to do it for them but I cannot say as it was never stated from what I can remember. I want him to do something, anything for the people he forcibly brought back. For Them. To Them. Directly. Hell, even him having to go ahead, even after seeking to fade ‘fading’ actively, to try and build up something be it physically or mentally to give back to the world he took too much from and caused so much pain to would be nice to see. It won’t make it better nor will it ever erase what happened, but it will be Something. Finally.

There are many parts I missed. Still so much I want to talk about. But I’ll stop here as this already is so much. I hope it’ll be at least somewhat interesting or informative to try and help with your curiosity on the matter

Tl;dr. Ayin. I love him because of his various parts that cannot be separated that make up the whole of this man I can't stop myself from being enamored with. I mean parts mentally and literally. I'm getting the ice pick for him to make this a REAL Lobotomy Corporation

probably going to regret asking this, but I want to know what the vibe is:

I know opinions are gonna be very complex, just choose the answer closest to what you feel. explain in the tags if you must.

And only choose "played LobCorp" if you've actually played the game, any level of completion. "haven't played" covers other ways of experiencing the game, like let's plays, wiki reading, secondhand knowledge from later entries, etc. I want to specifically understand any difference in opinion between those who have/have not played.

[t34-mt]

maaau

an introduction post to maaaus

maaau ("almost my people") are the closest living relatives to maanuls. They share the same tribe, but not the same genus. Species of the same genus as modern maanuls are extinct. Mainly through diseases, genetic bottleneck, hybridization, inability to survive environmental changes, food sources going extinct, species competition during famine related to food source extinctions, etc. Contradictory to spread out in-world belief due to a poor understanding of natural history in the general population, Maaaus isn't an ancestor who'm maanuls evolved from. They are their own species, who evolved alongside maanuls but for a different available niche. They do descend from a common ancestor who arrived at the western coast millions of years ago. And said ancestor was closer to the current family the kyhuines species belong to, than modern maanuls and maaus are. While maanuls, kyhuines and mierthri may be called "cousin species" by me all around my blog, they are several sub-orders away from each others. So it is somewhat of a stretch at times, and more of an in-world thing to say. Some places will consider kyhuines and mierthri more of a cousin to maanuls than maaaus are, when biologically speaking maaaus is their closest living cousin, not them. The distinction here is a social one they made up, in modern languages the distinction between a maanul, kyhuine, or mierthri isn't distinct, as they will share the common word that roughly translates to "people". Distinctions will be done via using other words if needed, such as in the medical field for example.

During early world history, many groups of Maanuls didn't know maaaus existed for a while. as the species itself is by default is extremely shy, and avoid being seen for it's own protection. Groups who interacted with them more weren't necessarily in contact with those unaware of the species. There was rumors of "little people" that would run into the reeds if it was spotted. Most people wouldn't believing it as no specimens were caught yet. The myth of "gnomes" originate from early sightings of maaaus from mainly children or intoxicated people. Gnomes in nuinuk art (place where this folkloric and mythological creature takes a large role here) resemble a maaau with a maanul face and no arms. People confused their constant tucked arms for a lack of them.

It is considered that there are 4 species of maaaus. Knaan maaau (vague term for west coasts) or more commonly referred by Juaan maaau, is considered to be the ancestor of the other 3 species. Pigmy, Domesticated maaau, and inland maaau are the result of maanul interacting with the species. By either domestication or just picking them to be on their boat during travel, and then introducing them to new environments. While there are more species living of maaaus than maanuls, maaau's have a much smaller world range than their larger cousin maanuls. Who have spread out on most coastlines, thousands of islands, inland seas regions, some maanul populations even remaining in the artic sea all year. The original range maaaus had was quite small, more than half of their modern range is from maanul interactions.

thank you for reading. Here is a maanul sitting down and showing off a maaau to a mierthri. mierthri and maaaus are almost the same size. maaaus have a longer neck and legs.

Some additional doodles under the cut as a treat

they're not the most accurate thing ever, these are from me drawing friend's / their oc's as maaaus, shitposts basically.

additional ones that i think are cute. featuring domesticated maaaus

[boopshoops]

TWST OC INTRODUCTION - TCOAV

Aurelia Sidheline - Tales of Scars

Name: Aurelia Sidheline

Nicknames: Aura, Triggerfish, House cat, Sidhe

Gender: She doesn't know or care <3

Pronouns: She/her (But any gendered language is fine. ex: ms. mx. or mr are all good!)

Sexuality: Pan-Greysexual

Birthday: February 10 (Aquarius)

Age: 19 in canon TWST age, 21 in TCOAV AU

Height: 5'4 or 162cm

Voice Claim(s): Emilia Clarke

Twisted from: Captain Amelia of Treasure Planet

Unique Magic: She hasn't found hers yet.

Grade: Junior

Class: 3-D

Hobbies: Sailing, Spelldrive, acrobatics, flying(broom), swimming, reading, studying, sparring.

Likes: Smoked salmon, astrology, astronomy, summer, sunbeams, the ocean, strategy games, dogs.

Dislikes: Any soup, inability to read a room, misplaced immaturity, snap judgements, snow, the unrelenting pressure to conform to the shackles and rules of a inherently flawed system in order to succeed in the eyes of others but allows no room for those who are unable to 'get in line' 👁️👄👁️, sand or glitter✨

Fears: Blood, not meeting expectations, being unable to make a difference in her or others lives.

Summary: Descendant of an esteemed noble family of diurnal fae. She intends to dedicate her whole being and life to regaining her family's pride after being unfairly dishonored due to her beastman blood. Nevertheless, she welcomes these trials as a highly adventurous, passionate, and energetic soul.

Her strength in the face of adversity is something she takes a high amount of pride in, even as it is her greatest source of frustration. She had to work harder than most to get to where she is now due to the lowered positioning of her family, but nonetheless, after an ungodly amount of work for someone her age, she's getting there... no, not got. Getting. It's still happening, and it's exhausting. Her greatest strength is also her greatest weakness: after all, one who is known to show strength in adversity will eventually meet too big of an obstacle.

While she struggles to get a handle on her diurnal side, even being delayed in the development of her unique magic, she still has managed to become the captain of RSA's spelldrive team and amass a large amount of respect from the student body. Her admission into RSA cemented a change in allowing any and all genders to apply to the academy (another thing it did before NRC in my au, har har), to the point where she has become a bit of a celebrity on the island. She actively encourages any crowd questioning her admission as well as their own to "get loud and mad and unapologetic" about how the system was allowed to stay so closed off for as long as it did, because "this is what will inspire change in the world, not changing yourself."

CHARACTER PLAYLIST

Author's Notes: meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow

meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow

meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow <3

Tags!

@lowcallyfruity @kitwasnothere @cecilebutcher @justm3di0cr3 @skriblee-ksk

@techno-danger @the-trinket-witch @thehollowwriter @distant-velleity @scint1llat3

@beneathsakurashade @qsoap @kathxrat-01 @prince-kallisto @twsted-canvas

@twstinginthewind @tixdixl @sillyslipperybananapeel @jadelover69 @inotonline

[avsanderoth]

Writing Emotions: Sorrow

Welcome. Below lies truths, though not universal, for the art of woe - its reality, its impact and its depiction. Thank you for reading. 

To grieve at all scales is an utmost inherent aspect of processing the trials thrown at one by life. Whether for your own loss or the loss suffered by another, sorrow can be grounding when treated as it should be, or deluding when not. 

Misery loves company

Ideally, the sadness you express through your characters will draw the reader in, and via their empathy, leave them feeling similarly. Indeed, sorrow has the ability to humanize your characters - it makes them seem vulnerable in ways that allow the reader to understand them better. 

And in turn, it allows you to understand your characters better. Seeing and writing someone at their most vulnerable gives you an insight for their qualities when they don’t have the energy to hide behind a facade, whether consciously or unconsciously. Writing scenes that feature your characters grieving over any sort of loss is a good means of getting to know them. 

So then, how is one to write sorrow?

Your sorrow is your own

No two people grieve the same. When they experience loss, the reality hits them at different times, and haunts them just as sporadically. It is up to you to understand your character, and reason for yourself - how would they react to losing something? For loss is the great source of nearly all sorrow, be it your own loss or another’s for which you grieve. 

In this sense, I can only recommend two broad things. 

First, draw from yourself. The idea of sorrow one knows best is their own, and while you don’t need to directly copy the way you experience sadness and paste it onto your characters, it is a starting point you’re already deeply familiar with, and so you can revise it - adjust timings, physical and verbal reactions, the sheer fact it stems from you will make the process far, far easier. 

Second, allow yourself to be immersed in what your character is going through. This is a tip I give to all writing, but it is especially important when depicting sorrow. The closer you get to your story - the more “real” you allow it to be - the more natural the result becomes. 

I can also list some things that factor into sorrow - things to think about displaying through your story, though I cannot recommend using all of them at once. 

Does your character search for an escape, or a distraction? Do they allow the feelings to stew in their gut, waiting for them to settle or disappear?

Is your character’s reaction to loss inward or outward? Do they keep their grief to themselves, or do they shed tears and lament as the feelings naturally bubble up?

More particularly, how does your character react physically to loss? Does it make them feel weak and reach for support, does it make them feel eternally tense, are they overcome by sudden chills or flushes of heat?

Do they try to compensate for their sorrow via other emotions? Masking their feelings over loss through indiscriminate anger, or false content, or utter indifference?

Who does your character reach to for help, and why? Maybe they don’t dare reach out to anybody - if so, why not?

Should your character try to articulate their sorrow in words, do they succeed or does their vocabulary fail them? Grief is so inherent, there are times when not the harshest terms can do it justice - what does that inability do to your character, being unable to rationally communicate their feelings?

Feel free to use these when you depict sorrow - they are drawn from my own experience doing so, and work well for me. 

When grief owns you

If not handled, sorrow rots. It grows, though you delude yourself into thinking it’s dissipating. In reality, it merely loses its “shape”, detaches from what caused it in the first place so it may grow with every loss that follows, no matter how minor. The lows of the day grow deeper, the highs flatten out and turn life into a hay field hiding widespread sinkholes. 

Depression is one of many things that can follow a poorly handled loss, when the mind’s ability to produce the chemicals that steer your mood is stressed to a point of effectively shutting down. It’s a state of your grief encapsulating you, a suit of armor to protect you from the possibility that things get even worse. It distances you from reality, makes the embrace and touch of your loved ones feel empty. Your own personal abyss. 

But not all sorrow takes this path. The vengeful channel it, convert every ounce into relentless fury. If they make right of what happened, take revenge on those who caused it, they may be free - their own personal balance will return!

It doesn’t. Revenge is a distraction, and once fulfilled, the mind is left to fend for itself. There, the unresolved loss stands, waiting with open arms. And with nobody to stop it, the mind accepts. 

The hand reached out

Nobody can handle sorrow that deep on their own. They need help, and they need to want it. What is your character’s “safety net”? Do they have one, and if so, do they realize it? Does something keep them from accepting help, whether pride or self-loathing or fear that things will only get worse? Deep sorrow changes your perspective on life - do their days seem bleaker? Does opening their bedroom door feel like a monumental effort, much less making food for themselves or going outside?

Know that handling sorrow is a process that can span a lifetime depending on the event. Do not rush yourself in resolving it in your story, lest the impact is weakened and the end becomes rushed. Even if your story ends with the character still processing their loss, you can make it “good” by surrounding them with people who can help them, or just offering any reason for the reader to feel hope. 

These two concepts - grief and hope - go hand in hand when storytelling. When in tandem, the reader’s mind will fill in what your story is not long enough to contain, give happy endings, though distant, and make a resolution as good as the reader wants it to be. 

The end

Thank you for reading. I appreciate the support for this blog, and goodbye.

[yuriskies]

The Unbearable "Denseness" of Sorawo Kamikoshi

It bothers me a little bit when I see people refer to Sorawo as dense. For whatever reason it makes me think of the fucking Kojima "you will regret your words and deeds" tweet.

[So, uh, there's a lot of later novel spoilers in this post, so I'll hide them under the read more break]

While I do think she's a bit... obtuse... when it comes looking at herself and motivations, I do think there is a consistent throughline: Sorawo Kamikoshi does not like assumptions and invisible expectations. Vols 7, 8, and 9 of the novels all elaborate on this theme—there's her classrom discussion of interpretation-free ghost stories, having a breakthrough when Benimori brings up alternatives to escalator relationships, and comparison of romance to a gravity well. It's pretty clear she struggles to identify with normative romance, and feels scared and frustrated by the way her words and actions are misinterpreted by those around her.

Like yes, she does want a special relationship with Toriko! She swoons at first sight (twice!) and has a strong desire for exclusivity. But Toriko makes a number of common assumptions about relationships that feel like a form of pressure to Sorawo. Somewhere between vols 2 and 4, you can see her discomfort about how she expresses herself around Toriko start to grow once Toriko begins seriously pursuing her as a romantic partner. I think the source of that discomfort is ultimately the shape of their relationship changing from queerplatonic "accomplices" exploring the Otherside into something more typical of a standard romance.

In hindsight, her behavior around the confession at the hot springs in vol 4 makes sense. She even says in passing that she feels comfortable saying "I love you" to Toriko; her fears are entirely related to the "danger" of Toriko's behavior changing in a way she can't anticipate when she says it. And with good reason: once Toriko believes she has secured a relationship, she immediately moves to sex, the next step in the progression of normative romance. Which, while moving a little quickly, is a reasonable assumption for most people! It's not until Sorawo says she doesn't like kids in vol 6 that Toriko realizes they don't have the same thoughts about how their relationship should progress.

Not to say that all of the blame is on Toriko. Sorawo, for her own part, has her own ideas about the relationship but doesn't really have the language to express herself. Rather than trying to understand or talk through the problem, she tries to ignore it and hopes it goes away. It's not until Toriko gives her an ultimatum that she puts words to a long-running source of discomfort for her and they can figure out whether their relationship is sustainable or not.

But I don't think "dense" is the right word for that behavior. Her problem is not that she's unaware of her own attraction, it's that she doesn't have the language to describe it and a fear of what happens when she does. Without that understanding most readers*, like Toriko, default to intepreting her behavior through the framework of "romance". They fail to try interpreting Sorawo through her own words, and then poke fun at her inability to conform with their expectations. If that's dense, then so is every queer person attempting to understand themselves when society doesn't give them access to the tools to do so.

*for the record, I will confess that I was in this category of "most readers" until vol 8 dropped. I regret my words and deeds

[mionemymind]

Chapter 2: Confessions for You

My Rival Series

Series Summary: The time where Y/n Y/l/n and Wanda Maximoff were academic rivals that fell for each other.

Chapter Summary: Y/n already is losing herself to her studies as competition looms closer and closer.

A/n: Gif credits to @elizabetholsens

Warnings: Rivals to Lovers, Obvious Feelings, Stubborn Reader, Cursing, Alcohol, Puking, Memory Loss? (ish)

Word Count: 5.1k

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 |

Last Month - Spring Semester

‘I fucking hate losing to her.’ Y/n’s fists were tightly clenched as she saw Wanda celebrate another perfect score. The glimmer in her eyes almost made Y/n’s vein burst from anger. The competition was in three weeks and the last day of school was in four weeks. 

It's been almost a month since she spoke to Dean Holloway about her scholarship. Since then, Y/n’s mental health has extremely deteriorated. The lack of sleep and the inability to eat was catching up to the bright student. 

She was making more mistakes in math club, simple ones that even the freshman could do with their eyes closed. Her confidence has gotten lower and lower the more she was unable to perfect her craft. 

And as Y/n stared at the ninety nine written on her test, all emotion was devoid from her. She was tired. Something that Wanda had noticed. The brunette had kept up on her usual appearances around Y/n. She taunted Y/n slightly over scores, grinned at every question she got right at math club, and overall proved to everyone why she was number one. 

But that wasn’t to say that the brunette didn’t notice all the changes happening to Y/n. If anything, Wanda was the first to notice all the changes. She noticed the appearance of deeper eyes bags, the short temper Y/n had over small mistakes, and even worse, the lack of focus Y/n had during lectures. 

There were other changes too like the way Y/n no longer engaged at all to Wanda’s banter. Instead, she would walk away, fists clenched, as if Y/n was holding herself back. Or the times that Wanda no longer spotted Y/n with her friends at all. It was like she was distancing herself from everyone she knew. 

While Wanda tried her best to look out for Y/n, all her kindness turned bitter when she thought of that meeting. 

Sitting across from each other, the two were finishing their project, looking over the final draft before submitting it. Wanda was looking over Y/n’s part of the essay when she came across a large paragraph that contained a lot of circular reasoning and hardly any sources. 

Wanda circled it and leaned forward to show Y/n. “Hey, you made a mist-,” Y/n snatched the paper, already rereading the paragraph at lightening speed. Her shoulders were tense as she squinted her eyes to read the paper better. 

“You didn’t explain your side well enough. I see what you’re trying to say but you end up using circular reasoning to back up your point rather the the sources we’ve gathered.” 

Feeling already embarrassed enough from math club, Y/n had enough. She got up, causing the chair to make a horrible screeching noise. Wanda grimaced at the sound as she noticed Y/n packing up. 

“Where are you-”

“Fuck off, Maximoff. I don’t need your input.” Wanda was caught off guard at Y/n’s hostility, but the smart girl had a sharp tongue and there was no way in hell she was going to allow Y/n to talk to her like that. 

“Clearly you do when you’re making basic mistakes like that.” Y/n scoffed as she stuffed her backup. 

“Always quick to call out someone’s mistakes. Would love for the day someone laughs at yours.” Wanda got up, her chair making the same awful sound. 

“Why are you being so rude? We are doing a peer review. What did you expect? That I let you mess up my grade.” Y/n rolled her eyes as she swung her backup over her shoulder. The zipper was barely over the arch, the swing almost causing her backup to open up. Y/n grabbed the remainder of her stuff and held it.

“You’re the last person I would ever call my peer. Do what you have to Maximoff but I’m fucking done here.” Y/n left without another word.

Wanda stood at her spot, offended at the fact that Y/n even snapped at her. What was worse, she genuinely felt hurt by Y/n’s tone. Y/n had never spoken to her like that, not in the three years they’ve known each other. 

So as she grabbed her stuff, her paper being last, Wanda didn’t notice the lack of marks on her paragraphs. All she noticed was the painful feeling in her heart left by Y/n.

“Okay everyone, let's please settle down so we can talk about the format for this upcoming state competition.” Up at the front of the lecture hall stood Y/n and Wanda. Naturally they stood a couple of feet apart as Wanda took the lead of the meeting. 

“This year we have the amazing honor of bringing in three teams to represent Evergreen University. Fortunately for us, Dean Holloway was able to get the approval to send in another team this year.” There were several claps coming from the students as Y/n somberly looked at the floor. 

‘He just wants to increase the odds of me losing.’ Y/n thought. Noticing that Y/n was not paying attention, Wanda shook her head and continued with the announcement. 

“As tradition has it, we will hold a bracket competition for those that would like to compete. Each team will have four slots to fill. Naturally as your co-captains for the club, we will only have 10 slots available for those that want to participate.” 

Wanda walked over to Y/n, giving her a slight pat on the back as she walked past her. “Your co-captain will list off how the competition will go.” 

Y/n cleared her throat, regaining her focus as she addressed the crowd. “In order to better assess senior and new member abilities, we will be holding a kahoot style competition as this will best mirror the real competition.”

Walking away from Wanda, “In order to avoid embarrassment of who did or did not get the answer correctly, we will be using the clickers that the University has provided our club. On the sign up sheet, I will write down your name beside the clicker number. The top ten members will receive a place for the competition. However, the members that place 11th through 13th will constitute as our substitutes in the case of anything happening to our members.” 

Y/n sat over to the desk of clickers, ready to write. “For those that are not wanting to participate but would like to see who has made it to our team, you are more than welcomed to stay as the questions on the screen will provide great practice. You may start lining up now for your clickers.” Wanda ended her speech with a gratuitous smile. 

A long line of students started to form as Y/n wrote each name down. Coincidentally enough, the first two clickers were reserved for Wanda and Y/n. Unbeknownst to Y/n, she wrote Wanda’s name at first and her name being second. Even her subconscious knew the truth. 

So as Wanda got the questions ready, Y/n sat at the table, away from everyone, hoping that her extreme hours spent studying were going to be worth it. Y/n looked at Wanda who sat with some of her friends in the club. There was still that stupid smile on her face. 

‘Eat dirt.’ Was all Y/n thought as the first question popped up on the screen. 

“Wait - you’re unable to pick me up when spring semester ends? Why?” Y/n sighed, still feeling the bitterness from math club as she sat under a tree that observed the Hodgekins Math building. 

“I’m sorry honey - your father and I are going to attend an important meeting for his company in Europe. Unfortunately, we were unable to reschedule it as your father’s clients were only able during that time to discuss the merge factors. I do hope you understand.” 

Y/n’s eyes teared up, feeling lower than ever before as she spotted Wanda finally leaving the building, the brunette’s words still in her mind. 

“How are you expected to lead when you can’t even get in the top ten?” Wanda whispered as she smiled at the students who made the team. “If you can’t even score top five, how can I trust you? Get your head back or I’m going to have to get someone else to fill your spot.” 

“Can you at least send Percy to help me out?” Y/n wiped her tears before they got a chance to fall. The weight of everything was crushing her down and it felt like no one even noticed. 

“Of course. He’ll be there to help you. How is school going by the way? Are you having fun? Your grades still okay?” Y/n leaned back on the tree, making sure no one was nearby. 

“It's been…okay. My state competition is less than a month away and I’ve been trying my best to study a lot for it.” Y/n bit her cheek, the feeling of losing gripped her heart. “But other than that, my grades are still good.” 

Y/n couldn’t see it, but her Mom was smiling on the other end of the phone. “Is that girl - what’s her name - oh yeah, Wanda, still there?” Y/n froze at the mention of the brunette, even worse, Wanda was oddly walking in her direction.

“Mom - I really don’t want to talk about her.” It’s like no matter what, Wanda somehow managed to pop up everywhere in her life. 

“Well, it has been a while since you’ve talked about her. I was starting to think she was no longer around.” Y/n knew when her Mom was acting oblivious and this happened to be one of those moments. 

“Mom-”

“You know if you can’t stand it just come back home. Your father is more than happy to help you get enrolled into-”

“Mom - I’m not going to Langford University. Dad can keep wishing but I will stay at Evergreen University.” The topic of Langford and her father was always a strain. While Y/n’s father was an alright man and honestly a great father, his vision for Y/n’s future never aligned for what his daughter wanted. 

Ever since she got accepted to Evergreen University, their relationship grew complicated. He even stopped calling after Thanksgiving break of her first semester in college. While Y/n did have a better relationship with her mother, it was still complicated nonetheless. 

“Look, I have to go. I’ll talk to you later Mom. Bye - love you.” Y/n hung up before her mother said anything back. The brunette that’s been in her mind stood right in front of her with a blank look on her face. 

“What do you want?” Wanda rolled her eyes at Y/n’s hostility. She hadn’t even said a word and she’s already managed to piss Y/n off. Had it been earlier in the year, Wanda would have enjoyed just how quick she could get under Y/n’s nerves. But now, Wanda couldn’t stand Y/n either. 

Taking a deep breath, Wanda calmed her anger and said, “Have you thought about what I said?” 

Standing up, Y/n wiped any possible dirt from her pants and glared at Wanda. “Don’t even think about replacing me. I’ll be at the competition and I’ll make sure that my group wins it all.” 

“You better be on your A-game at our next practice. If not, I’m pulling you.” Y/n’s jaw clenched at Wanda’s threat. Who was she to call the shots? They were co-captains after all. 

“Don’t worry your pretty head about me, Maximoff. I’ll be on my best behavior.”

‘I need to focus.’ It was a weeknight. As usual, Y/n was using this time to study for math club. Wanda had sent out a new packet for the competitors to use as practice for the real competition. 

For a majority of the questions, she had gotten ninety seven out of the hundred correct. But Y/n was on the brink of losing it all. She knew that any wrong answer would immediately lead to a Maximoff victory and that was the last thing she wanted. 

‘I need to be perfect.’ Erasing her calculations, Y/n redid it but still wasn’t able to match to the correct answer. Tightening the grip on her pencil, Y/n tried to not let this get to the best of her. But the constant sound of Natasha practicing her guitar started to aggravate her. 

In addition small music was already playing in the background, something Natasha was trying to play along with. So when Y/n redid her calculations once more and still got the wrong answer, she could feel her anger start to resurface. Still, she maintained her best composure and erased the wrong answer. \

Retrying for the third time, Y/n was close to reaching the correct answer when her pencil tip broke. ‘Just bad timing. That’s all. Get a new pencil and move on.’ She spoke internally. But the rational thoughts mixing with her anger were not a good combo. 

Was she hallucinating or was Natasha’s music suddenly getting louder? Ignoring it, Y/n grabbed a new pencil when the sound of a new email alerted her attention to her laptop. Going to Outlook, Y/n looked at the new email, its subject already signaling alarms in her head. 

Dean Holloway 

New Scholarship Requirements 

Feeling all sorts of anger and embarrassment, Y/n broke her pencil and slammed her computer shut. Standing up quickly, Y/n looked at Natasha, and without thinking, said, “Can you please cut that shit off?” 

Y/n was already fuming with anger, not caring if she pissed her best friend at all. At first, Natasha looked shocked at Y/n’s outburst, quickly turning the music off. But the realization of Y/n’s tone offended Natasha. 

“What’s up with you?” Natasha placed the guitar up against the wall. Y/n had never yelled at her like this before. 

“I need to study and I can’t when you’re distracting me.” Y/n waved towards the direction of the speakers and the guitar as if it was so obvious. 

“You could have asked nicely rather than being a dick about it.” Natasha did not like Y/n’s tone one bit. While they were best friends, Natasha did not take shit from anyone. 

“You could have been considerate of other people in the room rather than assuming.” Natasha scoffed knowing that this was not the first time she played music in front of Y/n. Heck, she always played music ever since freshman year of high school. Natasha could vividly recall the amount of times she asked Y/n in the beginning days of them dorming. Y/n would always respond with a smile, saying she never minded. So why would things change now? 

“Bullshit - tell me the real reason.” Natasha stood up and crossed her arms, not giving into Y/n’s lie. 

“I’ve had enough. Maybe that’s the reason.” Natasha rolled her eyes. She walked closer to Y/n, quickly lifting her shirt up to expose just how skinny she had gotten. 

“You’ve hardly been eating.” Feeling defensive, Y/n backed up, pushing her shirt back down. “You hardly sleep anymore. Not only that, I’ve barely been able to speak to you without you running away to study. Something is up. So tell me.” 

Y/n glanced down to the floor. Tears pricked her eyes as she thought of a way to get out of this. Guilt consumed her as quickly as her anger did. And now, she doesn't know what to say. 

So when the red head saw her friend silently cry, her shoulders dropped and immediately went in for a hug. “Whatever is eating you up, just please tell me. I’ll make sure to help you through it so you don’t have to go through it alone.” 

‘If I’m not perfect…I’m going to lose you.’ But as Y/n clutched on to Natasha, no words escaped her mouth for the redhead had enough to worry about. 

Day Before Competition - Spring Semester

“I can’t believe you’re actually going to a party.” Y/n looked over the simple outfit she had on, blue jeans, loose white shirt, and converse. This was the first time she was going to a party, vividly recalling the multiple lies she’s used to get out of one in the past. 

“I don’t understand why this one is suddenly mandatory for club members to go to. We literally have a competition tomorrow.” Today was supposed to be spent for late night studying, but according to Wanda’s orders, this was a must for all twelve members. 

“Who cares? I know you’re going to do well.” Natasha says behind Y/n. The red head admired Y/n’s outfit before looking eyes with her through the mirror. “You’ve been studying your ass off. I just know tomorrow is going to be your day.” 

Y/n didn’t want to overthink Natasha's words. Ever since she outlashed that night, she refused to for her anger to get the best of her even though her circumstances weren’t so great. Offering Natasha a wide smile, Y/n said, “I’ll be only drinking one cup tonight but nothing else. I can’t be too drunk.”

“And I’m going to do the opposite, I will be getting drunk especially since finals are this upcoming week.” 

‘I want to leave.’ Hours into the party, the crowd grew more alive. More people were in the center dancing while many small groups formed around the frat house. The backyard was filled with people vaping or smoking. 

Y/n didn’t quite recognize all that attended the party. If she was being honest, people started to come even when they weren’t part of a club. There were a few outliers from chemistry and movie club, but other than that, the crowd was overwhelming. 

Sipping on the last few bits of her drink, Y/n watched Natasha with a small buzzing feeling. The red head was downing her fifth shot. A smirk was wide spread on her face as she wiped the small bits of tequila that were on the corner of her mouth. The crowd around her cheered as the next person got their shot ready.

Natasha walked to where Y/n was standing and stood beside her. Feeling touchy, she decided to lay her head on Y/n’s shoulder and observed the crowd. She knew a lot of the outliers from the many parties she’s been to. Plus, with how outgoing of a personality Natasha had, a lot of people gravitated towards her. 

But no matter how many people Natasha was friends with, Y/n was always her favorite. The two were opposites but that made the friendship even better. The red head always viewed Y/n as the black cat that never wanted to be petted. But the day she was finally allowed was one that Natasha always remembers. 

“Having fun?” Y/n could smell the alcohol from Natasha’s breath but didn’t mind. 

“A little bit. This drink is helping me not stress so much though.” Natasha smiled at Y/n’s confession. The two didn’t really have a long talk about her outburst many nights ago. And while Natasha always had her guesses, she remained at Y/n’s side, never wanting her best friend to feel alone. 

As for Y/n, vowed to keep her anger in check. While she did still feel irritated at times, she focused on not letting her anger consume her as much. Even with the given circumstances, it wasn’t fair to Natasha or any of her friends to get the short end of the stick. It wasn’t their fault for the way things were. 

“Ya know Nat, for this party to have mandatory attendance, I have not seen Wanda or any of the math club members anywhere.” Natasha looked around the crowd that was in the dance room and couldn’t spot the all too familiar brunette at all. 

“That’s weird. Did y’all agree for a meet up spot?” Y/n shook her head no. 

“I haven’t even gotten a text from Wanda. She’s usually on top of these things.” The two watched for a moment, letting the loud music fill the comfortable silence between them. Wanting to get another shot, Natasha almost left when she saw Wanda amongst the crowd. 

“Why does Wanda affect you so much?” Y/n almost hadn’t heard Natasha’s question, but when Y/n followed the direction of her gaze, she knew. 

“She doesn’t affect me.” Although it was a small buzz, the ability to lie knowing she had drunk a little was all the confidence Y/n needed. 

“Well you talk about her,” Natasha pointed out. “Plus, anytime she’s around, you end up bickering for a while. Sometimes you would go on rants talking about what she said to you during class.”

The blush that appeared on Y/n’s cheek was hard to spot in the dark setting. The brown eyed girl clutched on her red solo cup, feeling embarrassed that she was easily called out with compelling evidence. 

Looking back at Wanda, Y/n could feel her heart rate increase as she saw her talking to other people. There was this different aura surrounding her. Maybe it was the drink or maybe it was the fact that she seemed to really enjoy herself. Like academics wasn’t the only thing she excelled in. 

“Is she the reason you’re acting so differently lately?” Natasha lifted her head as she felt Y/n stiffen up. Feeling like she overstepped, the red head was about to spout an apology.

“Yeah,” Y/n continued to look at Wanda. Even though it was rude to blame the situation on her, it was easier to admit it than speak the truth. “It’s just..I hate Wanda Maximoff. I hate her face and the way she hides her freckles. I hate her smile and how perfect she laughs. I hate how smart she is and how she knows everything. I hate her.” Y/n complained. 

But how could she hate the girl that always took number one in everything? How could she hate the girl that captivated her mind 24/7? How could she hate the girl she would willingly be number two for?

And as Natasha looked back at Wanda then Y/n, a realization suddenly hit her. ‘You like her.’ But Natasha didn’t dare to confess this outloud but it was so obvious. ‘What else would eat her up this way?’ Natasha thought. 

On the other side of the party, Wanda could feel eyes on her. Looking around the room, she finally connected to the brown eyes she knew well. Unknowingly, the sight of Natasha being so close aggravated the brunette for some reason.

But all Wanda could focus on was how soft Y/n’s stare was. There was no jealousy or bitterness about them. And that captivated Wanda even more because this was the first time that Y/n had ever looked at Wanda that way. 

Suddenly, all the air shifted in the room, and Wanda couldn’t help but think, “Why does she hate me?” 

Natasha left after her tenth shot as her girlfriend dragged her away. Feeling no reason to stay any longer, Y/n made her way out the frat house when she bumped into Wanda. 

The red head was unable to stand up straight, almost falling if it weren’t for Y/n’s arms. “Hey - hey - are you okay?” 

Here was the gaze again, the same one Wanda felt half an hour ago. It was almost too much to handle the first time, leading Wanda to drink even more. It was stupid, nonetheless, Wanda was drunk and the very reason why was the same one holding her. 

Feeling too much, Wanda leaned away as she puked into the bush. Almost wanting to puke from the sight, Y/n held Wanda’s hair back as she patted her back. “There - there.” 

Y/n looked around and was thankful that no one was here to witness this scene. As much as she hated Wanda, Y/n didn’t want this image to be in people’s heads. 

Standing back up, Wanda teared up, hating the feeling of puking. 

“Hey - it’s gonna be okay.” Not knowing what compelled her to do this, Y/n used the bottom of her shirt to wipe Wanda’s mouth. She didn’t care if puke got on her. The idea of Wanda crying infront of her was worse than puke. 

“Let me take you back home. You can’t walk in these conditions.” Was Y/n thankful that Wanda had bumped into her? No…well at least that’s what she would say out loud. But as Y/n walked Wanda back to her dorm, the awful thought of Wanda unsafely walking by herself at night made her sick. 

Arriving to dorm 321, Y/n swiped the key card, opening the door to a cold room. Carefully leading Wanda to her bed, Y/n lifted the white duvet, allowing Wanda to crawl in. 

When Wanda looked comfortable, Y/n looked around the room, noticing the minifridge at the corner. Opening it up, Y/n grabbed a water bottle and placed it at Wanda’s nightstand. 

Although Y/n could leave, the sight of Wanda sleeping made her freeze. Many thoughts slipped through her mind, some that she would blame the alcohol on. But there was this worrying feeling in her heart as the thought of Wanda puking in her sleep crossed her mind. 

No one would be able to help her in time considering she didn’t have a roommate. Groaning at her predicament, Y/n looked around the room. There was no spare pillow or blanket. It would be a rough night and the competition was soon. Looking at the clock on her wall, the bus would be ready to leave at 8:00 am giving Y/n around six and half hours to sleep. 

Was it worth it to stay at all? Would Wanda be fine? But as Y/n helped Wanda turn on her side to sleep, the brown eyed girl knew her answer. 

“Wanda, I’m going to be on the floor. If you need anything, just let me know.” There was no response from Wanda. Figuring she could leave before Wanda woke up in the morning, Y/n laid down on the ground, feeling cold from the intense air conditioning.

‘I can’t sleep if I’m freezing to death.’ The thought of using the rug below her as a blanket crossed her mind. Before she could say fuck it, Wanda’s voice caught her attention.

“Why do you hate me?” Glancing towards the bed, Y/n couldn’t see Wanda’s face from her view at the floor. Laying back down, Y/n looked at the ceiling, surprised that Wanda was even up.

“What makes you think that?” It was rude to dampen a drunk girl, that much was common sense for Y/n. So rather than outwardly admit anything, she rediverted it back to Wanda. 

“I can’t recall a moment where you were kind to me.” Y/n froze as she thought about that moment back in the library, wondering if Wanda had her flannel in her dresser. “And I don’t think you’ve said a nice thing about me…so you must hate me.” 

Oh how wrong Wanda was. Because the truth of it all, Y/n never hated Wanda. She could never hate the girl that pushed her to do her best everyday. She could never hate the girl that would go above and beyond for people that need help. She could never hate the girl she lived and breathed for. 

“I have said nice things about you,” Y/n whispered. The two never spoke like this before and it terrified Y/n to even admit such things. “You just have to look inbetween the lines. You’re smart - so I guess I hoped you saw through them.” 

Wanda was too drunk to really recall anything. She wanted so badly to ask but was afraid of the truth. “Are you ready for the competition?” 

Looking back up, Wanda had scooted to the edge of the bed, her eyes connecting with Y/n. “I think so. Do you think you’ll win?” 

Pulling the duvet away from her mouth, Wanda looked away as she said, “If I don’t, I’ll just disappoint my father.” 

“You wouldn’t disappoint me.” Wanda looked back at Y/n. Had she not been drunk, the intensity of her words and stare would have made her combust. 

But as the long night finally reached Wanda, she suddenly fell asleep before she could respond back. “Nothing you could ever do would disappoint me, Wanda.”

Competition Day - Spring Semester

Waking up to the sound of her alarm, Wanda panicked at the time. Immediately rushing to brush her teeth and change her clothes, she rushed out of her dorm, almost forgetting the important papers for the competition. 

As she ran on to the bus, sparing ten minutes, she looked around to see that everyone besides two people were left. The migraine in her head was hard to ignore, regardless, Wanda was thankful that she made it on time. 

Soon, the remainder of the team hopped on board, choosing a free row for themselves. Since it was a four hour ride, Wanda didn’t bother lecturing the team this early about the competition. She could do that later. 

Finding a free row near the front, she sat down at the seat closest to the window. Cursing herself for even drinking so much, Wanda glanced over and noticed that Y/n was across from her. She had jeans and white shirt on with a weird stain at the bottom. 

Wanda almost wanted to yell at her for not being in uniform when she noticed that she was asleep. Feeling another headache, Wanda focused on trying to find medicine in her backpack, the events of last night gone from her memory. 

Taking an ibuprofen, Wanda pulled out her notes and studied some problems. And although she didn’t remember, the girl across from her did as she finally got some sleep, having been up all night making sure that Wanda was safe and sound. 

Chapter 3

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[mind-empty-just-fictional-people]

Love Language

masterlist

summary: you’ve never said it, neither has he…is that weird?

paring: dean winchester x female reader

rating: R for language

word count: 0.6k

warnings: language, not being able to say “i love you”, talk of sex

author’s note: i always found it interesting dean never told lisa he loved her…like ever. which is strange to me, considering how long they were together?

gif source

Three whole years you’d been with Dean, and neither of you saw an end anywhere in sight. You had grown up a hunter and you’d hit it off with Dean almost instantly when you had met him about five years ago. What started off as a wholesome friendship became deeper and more passionate after a night of drinking.

He cared about you so fucking much, you cared about him too. You were deeply in love. But neither of you had ever actually said love.

It was beginning to really bother you. Why hadn’t he said it? Every other relationship you had up until now had imploded long before the three-year-mark because of your inability to say the three big words.

Did Dean not love you? Maybe that’s why he hadn’t said it yet. You knew you felt that way about him, that you L-worded him, but maybe he didn’t feel the same way.

“You okay?” Dean asked when he looked up from the lore book he was reading and was met with your blank stare.

“Yeah…just thinking.”

“About?”

“Do you think it’s weird we haven’t said you-know-what to each other yet?” you asked. He furrowed his brows before he realized what you meant.

“Oh…no? No, definitely not.”

“Dean,” you sighed, closing the book in front of you. “I care about you so much it’s fucking insane but-”

“Right back at ‘cha! Let’s just leave it at that,” he cut you off.

“But, isn’t it strange we can’t say you-know-what? I mean I’d fucking die for you and I can’t say the three words? That’s fuckin’ weird!”

“To be fair, you have died for me. Like twice now,” he replied, trying to lighten the mood. You smiled a little. “And maybe we haven’t said the words but we’ve done other things.”

“If you’re talking about sex right now I swear to god-”

“No!” he chuckled. “I’m talking about that time you jumped in front of a bullet for me. I’m talking about when you were dying in my arms and I made a deal with Crowley to save you. I’m talking about how you bring me chicken noodle soup when I’m sick and force me to stay in bed till I’m feeling better. I’m talking about how many times I’ve bought you tampons and pads and chocolates so you didn’t have to leave the bunker when you were on your period.

“I’m talking about letting you drive Baby, I’m talking about you letting me use your precious espresso machine. I’m talking about the way I look at you when you aren’t looking, and the way you laugh at my clearly un-funny jokes. I’m talking about holding you when you cry and bringing you breakfast in bed. I’m talking about you letting me sleep on your boobs because they’re more comfortable than our pillows even though I know you’re sore in the morning.”

You let out a laugh and slightly rolled your eyes, though you were swelling inside. Dean smiled as he continued.

“I’m talking about those three words that we don’t even have to say because we prove to eachother we feel it every fucking day.”

“God damn it Dean Winchester!” You shook your head, still smiling. You got off the chair, walked around the table, and sat down in his lap. You put your hands on his face and kissed him sweetly. “You mean everything to me, you know that?”

“I do,” he whispered as you rested your forehead on his. “Do you know how much you mean to me?” You nodded. “See, then I think that’s enough.”

“Me too,” you replied before you kissed him again.

[nionom-art]

Hi there, loving your work on the miraculous coccinella au, kudos on the characterization, art and subtle shifts in the stories development that lay the groundwork for greater ripples and wages down the line, it is all flowing extremely well! Low key very curious how or if the time travel involved at the start will come up again or if it is functionally the stories unicorn. Either way great stuff!

This might be an odd question, so feel free to ignore it, but I'm curious about your view on Chloe & Andre's dynamic, as a lot of stories are rather charitable with him despite Andre being the primary source of Chloe's problematic behaviors.

I also ask cos of this potential read on things: https://www.tumblr.com/tumblingxelian/777651776055918592/wait-what-the-spouse-ification-of-chloe-omg-i

But again, sorry if this is over the line, feel free to ignore and or delete if you prefer.

I think it’s complicated, because, yeah, most of Andre’s behaviors stem from his inability to say no- he was mistreated by Audry as well, so that’s probably where a lot of his behavior stems from. But frankly, in my personal opinion, Chloe is still suffering from how he treats her as well. Chloe doesn’t really understand how to treat others or act around them because she’s grown up seeing Andre and Audry’s dynamic (and imitating Audry as a result). Andre just encourages Chloe’s behavior, because it’s what he’s used to from his wife. It’s a vicious cycle. Honestly, Zoe’s people pleasing tendencies likely came from her growing up with Audry as well- in the episode she’s introduced, Zoe states that she felt like she had to reinvent her personality to match the preferences of those around her, and it’s heavily implied that she made some poor choices back in New York. This behavior likely stemmed from her trying to please her mom, who of course, is never pleased.

All interesting things that will eventually be explored in my au, at least to some extent :)

[pedropascallme]

☆Kinktober 2024☆

Day 11: Blindfold

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!Reader

Warnings: SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI!!!!) oral (m receiving), p in v sex, kind of a power struggle but Joel is pretty happy to let you take control for once, some dirty talk, use of a blindfold, creampie, if I missed anything please let me know!

“Hss—not so tight, sweetheart,” Joel reached behind his head, swatting at your hands as you tightened the blindfold around his eyes. “Try’na kill me?”

“It’s around your eyes, Joel, not your neck…” You pushed his hands away, tying a messy bow. “And don’t give me ideas.”

He laughed, letting his head fall back against your chest once you’d removed your hands.

“One thing at a time.” He leaned into you, and the mattress creaked beneath him as he shifted his weight.

You moved to kneel at his side on the bed, cupping his cheek in your palm to make him face you.

The black fabric—a piece of some spare article of clothing that wouldn’t be missed—covered his eyes, spanning down to the middle of his nose.

He looked good.

Obscured, slightly, but good.

You’d broached the subject nights ago, lying on his chest in the large bed.

The comfort of the house and the surrounding Jackson area offered a new brand of safety that was unfamiliar to you, and it unshackled you from the burden of responsibility.

You could close your eyes. You could speak at a normal volume.

You could be reckless.

“What if…” You stared up at him, a glint of mischief in your eyes as you spoke.

He had craned his neck to look down at you, raising a brow, coaxing you to finish your sentence.

“Maybe I should blindfold you. Next time we fuck.” You said, and it came with a sense of finality, just happy to have spoken the words into existence.

“Absolutely not.” Joel scoffed, shaking his head.

“Why not?” You smiled, pushing yourself up, planting your hands on his chest.

“Cause half the fun of fuckin’ you is seein’ you.” Joel’s fingers ghosted over your arm.

“But isn’t the most fun part feeling me?” You purred, pressing yourself into him and nosing at his neck.

“You gonna make me choose my favorite part?” He chuckled lowly, “We’re gonna be here all night.”

“Just think about it, Joel—if you can’t see me, you can really focus on how I feel…” You kissed his jaw, pushing yourself back down the bed ever so slightly to curl yourself into his side.

He had mumbled something about you being a fuckin’ minx, and how he thought you might kill him, and then the conversation was over.

A week later, you’d come home to a strip of fabric on the bed, a small note that read “You’re on.”

Now here you were: looking at the man you were meant for, smirking at the knowledge that he couldn’t look back at you.

It was arousing. You greeted your newfound source of power with a sigh, leaning into him, brushing your lips to his.

“Lie down, Joel.” You pressed a hand to his chest, pushing him back onto the bed until he was flat on the mattress.

“Knot’s pressin’ into my fuckin’ skull…” He grumbled, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips; a ghost of amusement at the way you had so quickly fallen into your new role.

“You’ll forget about it,” you straddled his legs, beginning to undo his belt. “Promise.”

You made quick work of unzipping his jeans, tugging the denim down a bit to allow yourself the space to pull his cock from his boxers.

He hissed at your touch, the softness of your palms as you wrapped your fingers around him.

His lack of awareness, his inability to calculate what you were doing and what you might do next, heightened the suspense.

Joel was left in anticipation, relying on his less than fantastic hearing, and wondering what you would do with him.

It made him painfully hard.

You could tell. His cock throbbed in your hand; the soft skin that stretched over his rock-hard length became an angrier red the closer you got to the tip, and arousal dripped from him.

You leaned forward, taking him in your mouth. You swished your tongue over his cockhead. Rather than focusing on just the tip, you pushed down immediately, taking as much of him as you could, wrapping your mouth around him and hollowing your cheeks.

Joel let out a strangled moan, hand flying to the back of your head.

“Christ—shit, there you go…” He tugged at your hair absentmindedly, head thrown back, cursing through his teeth. “Pretty fuckin’ mouth.”  

You mewled, letting the vibrations travel through his core, and he rocked his hips shallowly, beckoning you. Begging you.

You kept your hands busy. One stroked the base of his cock, dragging over him rhythmically, in time with your mouth; the other traveled lower, cupping his balls, massaging him with little pattern, simply a method to further his pleasure in even the slightest of ways.

It worked. Joel groaned wantonly, pushing against your hands with his body, so unbelievably engrossed by the feeling of you.

You had been right—every sense was heightened, and it was driving him wild.

And he could take the blindfold off. He could hook a finger beneath it and yank it up his face, could allow himself the joy of seeing you between his thighs. He could take back his power.

But he didn’t really want to.

“Come—come sit on my cock,” despite the overwhelming experience, his voice remained level—stoic, even, as he tested just how much control you thought you had. “Come on, sweetheart.” But he faltered, letting slip his sense of urgency as he tried to goad you into fucking him properly.

“But I thought you loved having my mouth…” You were playing coy, smirking up at him despite the fact that he couldn’t see you.

He tugged on your hair, adding more pressure to your scalp. “I said come here.” It was a weak demand, but you smiled at the way he was so desperate to keep control, even after pushing himself into your mouth while he whined.

So you conceded, allowing yourself a few more moments of feeling the weight of him in your mouth before pulling yourself off and moving up his body.

But you didn’t give in completely. You dragged yourself over his spit-coated length, grinding down onto his cock where it lay over his stomach and watching it slide between your folds, occasionally nudging your clit.

Joel whimpered, a needy sound that came up from his throat, and his hands reached out for your hips. You swatted him away.

“You said—you said no lookin’, not no touchin’,” he gritted out, locked in a battle with you as you continued to evade his grasp.

“I’m changing the rule.” You shot back.

He acquiesced, allowing you to press his arms against the bed. He could easily overpower you—you both knew it for a fact—but he was giving in because he liked it.

He really liked it.

You removed your hands from his arms, reaching beneath yourself to grab the base of his cock.

He sighed at the feeling, a warm sentiment that was cut short when you, without warning, sank down onto him in one go; sheathing his cock inside your eagerly waiting cunt until his balls pressed against the swell of your ass.

You whined, feeling the stretch of him, the way your cunt turned malleable to mold you into a cocksleeve for him even when you held the power.

“Fuck!” Joel disregarded your prior note, hands flying to grip your waist. “God, this pussy…”

“Do you feel good, Joel?” You began to roll your hips, disallowing him the chance to collect himself. “Don’t you like it? Being able to feel me like this? So completely?”

He didn’t respond—couldn’t respond, not with the way your cunt swallowed him; the gummy pressure of your walls around him; the way he could actively feel every drip of your slick that trailed down his cock.

He sat up, burying his face in your chest, mouthing at your tits and groaning into your skin as he bucked his hips up into you.

You yourself struggled to keep your composure. His writhing beneath you, his pleading movements, it engulfed your body and lit small fires across your skin that seeped down into your core, lighting the powder keg that was your pleasure, and waiting for it to explode.

Your cunt squeezed him, and your movements became less calculated. The once thought-out swipe of your hips over him was reduced to desperate grinding.

And he felt it. He felt all of it; the tightening of your walls, the desperation in the way you rode him, the blunt edges of your nails as they dug crescents into the skin of his chest.

And he felt a surge of the familiar dominance come back to him.

“Good girl,” he panted, “I feel it, baby—right on my cock like that. Good girl.”

That’s what did it, his gentle coaxing, the way his unbridled want oozed from his words, and the way he thrusted into you.

You came with a whimper, your stammered movements over his cock serving to deepen the feeling that heated you from within.

Joel wasn’t far behind.

“Shit—Jesus, sweetheart, fuck me like that. That’s it…” He was grinding himself into you, eager to feel every pulse of you around him.

The suspense he felt, unable to see you, but feeling and hearing you ride out your high above him—because of him—heightened his own release, and he pushed you down against him, pressing himself as deep into you as he could.

He came with a low moan, shooting thick, warm ropes into your cunt.

You collapsed on top of him, sweaty and spent and satisfied.

His hands stayed on your hips, rubbing his thumbs over your skin before sweeping his palm over your back.

You grabbed at the fabric over his eyes, gently yanking it up to gift him his vision back.

“Untie it f’me,” he muttered, hand squeezing your waist. “Wanna see how it looks on you’.”

[killer-wizard]

now that i have your attention: please go donate or reblog this compaign !! ive been tagged by @khawla-gfm2 for some time now and the family hasn't reached their goal yet!!

$14,523 raised out of 20k!

This campaign is vetted by association through @mohiy-gaza (vet). (source)

PLEASE REBLOG AFTER VOTING

here's Khawla's words from the gfm page:

"I am Khawla from Gaza, 34 years old. I stand before you as a person trying to support her family of 5: Me, my husband, and my three children: Muhammad, who is 5 years old; Sham, who is 3 years old; and Ghazal, who is nearly a year and a half old. In our terrible conditions, My son Muhammad contracted hepatitis from drinking contaminated water, and both he and Sham are deprived of their right to register in kindergarten, daycare, or other educational institutions. Additionally, due to the circumstances and lack of income, necessary benefits like milk are not provided to baby Ghazal.

With that, my husband's livelihood ha been completely destroyed since we are no longer entitled to work; and we expect to live under miserable conditions in tents in Mawasi Khan Yunis. It is difficult for me to find the words to describe what we face every day in Gaza; with no food, no medicine, no clean drinking water; with oppression, helplessness, psychological pressures, doubts, and daily traumas caused by everything around us and inability to care for loved ones. the fear of danger, disease and death never leaves us.

Now, I find myself in this difficult situation, and humbly ask for your help to save the lives of my family, especially my children, by getting us out of Gaza or helping us have money for medication or other necessities we may have access to. Asking for help is not easy, but we were left with no choice because we want to survive and we strive to rebuild our broken lives. We are very grateful for any help you can provide, no matter how small, as your help will contribute greatly to alleviating our suffering. I hope you will share my story with your family and friends."

-

and if you can't donate, go to arab.org. thank you for reading. free palestine forever and always (any hate or nonsense will be blocked)

[kawaiifuturebass88]

my wife is a super active tumblr user and has been telling me about this media literacy thing thats been happening/talked about here and i have really struggled to understand it, to the point that i didnt really believe it was real or i was just misunderstanding her or it was a very small isolated thing. she was telling me about it and it felt like she was just exaggerating for shock value and to be funny and i couldnt even laugh cuz i was too busy trying to figure out what the fuck she was talking about. people dont engage with media where someone is a bad person? ok but like so what do u watch and read? what is a story without a villain? that doesnt make sense i literally cant believe it.

then i watched the arcane finale and after exhausting my usual sources i turned to tumblr for more fan art and good vibes and ohhhhhh BOY arcane tumblr is like the source pool of this behavior, it is overFLOWING with media illiteracy and i got to actually see it with my own eyes and i was floored. i cant stop reading. the takes get wilder and wilder and the fabricated scenarions, lies, gross misunderstandings and blatant inability to infer anything get worse and worse and WORSE. its like watching a car accident over and over and over and its fascinating.

like, i understand why and how someone would become a conspiracy theorist or join a cult or whatever extreme thing, it makes total sense to me and is inherently human to create reasoning that feels safe to explain things that shock or scare you i.e. why religion exists lol but this doesnt follow that logic at all. i assume folks think they are being extremely smart but i struggle to accept that when people are just blatantly lying on the internet and most of the stuff i read is about visual media and you can literally just watch it or cite clips and instantly debunk it all. its not click bait and its not rage bait because all the interactions are supportive and agreeing. like wtf happened here?

i've been obsessed since i started reading this stuff because im so intrigued as to how you get to such a ridiculous spot, and not just a couple people but a whole swath of people across all the fandoms all writing long essays of bad takes with the same therapy language and total demonization of any disagreement. i wanna understand what you get from soapboxing on the internet and backing it up with exaggerations and lies and blatant ignorance to basic human interaction? i wonder if these people have ever spoken to a person before or had any kind of relationships because this is like robot level ignorance. i wonder why you want this. i wonder why you think these opinions make you better. i wonder if you actually apply these opinions in your real life, do you treat all your relationships with the same clinical level of over explaining and always assuming the absolute worst.

anyways, thats it for now. i have so many thoughts and theyre all running all over each other and i already have a hard time writing a large amount at once so i gotta step back and maybe ill try to collect some thoughts and continue thinking out loud here or maybe anxiety will get the better of me. we'll see.

[flowerandblood]

Archmaester Gyldayn’s Chronicle

Lady Royce's life before abduction by Prince Aemond

Archmaester Gyldayn’s chronicle combines information gathered by Septon Eustace and Mushroom concerning what happened before Prince Aemond ordered the abduction of Daemon Targaryen’s eldest daughter with his first wife, Rhea Royce. As is common in history, lies and truth become one.

Next part ➽

Both Mushroom and Septon Eustace agree in their opinion that the marriage between Prince Daemon Targaryen and Lady Rhea Royce was, to put it mildly, a failure — the spouses despised each other, and rumours spread by servants on duty in Runestone claimed that the Prince and his wife only lay in bed with each other once, on their wedding night. This is how Septon Eustace described it:

The servant who was supposed to have overheard under the chamber what was taking place in the marital alcove heard silence, then loud arguing and groans, which, however, did not sound like the result of pleasure.

In the morning, the young wife was said to mock her husband's inability to fulfil his duty for a long time, recognising that the reason for this was that she was not related to him. She complained that her husband exhausted her, causing her discomfort and pain, and expressed the hope that his seed would not take root inside her.

The reasons for Prince Daemon's problems in fulfilling his duty as a husband, Mushroom sought to find in his wife's spiteful, harsh, stern temper.

Lady Rhea Royce resembled a man more than a woman — she combed like a man, dressed like a man, spoke like a man and smelled like a man. She lacked feminine charm, tact and patience. She was only interested in hunting and archery, apart from that she had no interests or dreams. Conversations about philosophy and history bored her, as did the warmth of the home.

Contrary to her hopes, two moons had not passed when it became known that Lady Rhea would give Prince Daemon an heir. Although the Rough Prince dreamt of a male offspring, the word that their child would be born pleased neither of them.

It is known that Prince Daemon did not accompany his wife neither while she was with child nor during the delivery, appearing in Runestone only after the child was born. Both Mushroom and Septon Eustace agree that the birth of their daughter was a great disappointment to the Prince.

“You can't even beget a son,” Rhea Royce was to tell him according to Mushroom's accounts, humiliating him in front of all those gathered, holding the infant in her arms, “thank the gods my daughter did not inherit your hair.”

Prince Daemon left Runestone the same day and did not appear there for many months. According to Septon Eustace's informers, Lady Rhea was no better a mother to her daughter than her husband was a father.

Lady Rhea was unable or unwilling to find herself in the role of mother — just a few weeks after giving birth, she handed her daughter over to a wet nurse, devoting herself to horse riding, returning to her daily routines. She entrusted the girl's upbringing to Septa, herself keeping her interactions with her to a complete minimum. She did not visit her or dine with her, forgetting her existence.

Mushroom was even more strict in his assessment.

Rhea Royce preferred her hounds to her daughter, showing them more interest and affection than her. She failed to manifest any maternal instincts towards her and did not surround her with care, leaving her in the hands of her old nanny and stern Septa.

Little is known about their daughter's childhood itself — both Mushroom and Septon Eustace described her life superficially, apparently having no reliable sources for what happened to her during this period.

“The girl was quiet and meek, withdrawn and close-mouthed,” wrote Septon Eustace, “probably because she could not cope with rejection from both her father and mother. Septa Catlyn was a strict and pious woman, lacking maternal warmth and understanding — she taught her to write and read, and to some extent to play the lute and draw. She often punished her by making her kneel on the stone floor for long hours when she did not approve of something in her gaze or facial expression.”

Prince Daemon visited his daughter and wife rarely, and when he did, there were arguments between the spouses — one of which probably resulted in Lady Royce's death, and her body was found at the foot of the mountain. Both Septon Eustace and Mushroom have their own explanations for this mystery.

Prince Daemon came on Caraxes to Runestone to settle the matter concerning their marriage and divorce her once and for all — by then the whole Kingdom was already gossiping that the Rough Prince had taken his niece to his bed and deeply desired her.

Lady Rhea was said to have laughed at his words, saying “you will not free yourself from me, you pathetic man” which was supposed to have enraged her husband and resulted in him pushing her and her falling off a cliff.

Mushroom portrays this incident completely differently, finding more fault with the person of Lady Royce.

When Prince Daemon appeared in Runestone to take his daughter with him to Dragonstone, her mother refused: “I will not allow you to destroy her life,” she was to say, “her place is by my side.” “You have made her your hostage,” her husband replied, “you are a worse mother than I am a father.”

We do not know what happened next, however, the result was that Prince Daemon fled to Dragonstone and Lady Rhea's dead body was found at the foot of the mountain.

Their daughter became heiress of Runestone after her mother's death — the young girl, horrified at what her parents' miserable marriage had led to, feared that the Lords of the Vale, seeing her as a good match, would want to marry her off against her will. With the persuasion of her cousin, who saw her weakness as an opportunity, she relinquished her rights to the fortress in exchange for a lifetime of guardianship from her family.

Indeed, while this move politically destroyed her chances of marrying a high-born lord, it also threw off the burden of responsibility and unhappiness from her shoulders — her cousin fulfilled his promise, taking her with him on hunting expeditions, teaching her archery and horsemanship.

Sources are silent about her for many years to come, however, it can be concluded that her life was prosperous and peaceful until Prince Aemond saw her as an opportunity to gain an advantage over her father.

Next part ➽

[nudityandnerdery]

[Image Description: A series of sixteen tweets by John Rogers @jonrog1 that say:

1) A moment at the Teamsters/UPS rally this morning clarified our current struggle with the studio CEO's (among other bosses). Teamsters got a lot of wins, but one of the main sticking points is the pay for the 65% of local UPS workers who are part-time …

2) If you read the SAG-AFTRA demands, a truly STUNNING amount of their points involve protecting background actors, and trying to improve conditions for the 87% of their union who makes less than $26,000 a year.

3) As WGA members know, this is not a strike for the showrunners. We're trying to fix the fact the the current younger generation of writers can't even afford housing and their pathway to advancement has been cut off.

4) Like … folks, I'm fine. There are maybe two proposals in there that affect me. I'm walking in 90% weather and losing over 50% of my income for the year because I want the younger writers to get what I got at this stage of their careers.

5) Our unions and the CEO's and various negotiators have a fundamental cognitive disconnect. Because CEO's types only succeed by FUCKING THEIR PEERS.

6) Zaslav, Iger , those types of execs, etc have never gone without so a fellow exec or a junior exec could thrive. A fellow exec failing is the moment to use your own leverage to advance past them, if not destroy them.

7) Part of it is the money but part of this, I think, is a genuine inability to grasp even the concepts of any labor action. Because it is always other-directed.

8) So many people treat capitalism as part of nature red in tooth and claw, but it's not. It's a human construct. There are different rules you can play by -- but not if you want to win.

9) The greatest gift capitalism ever granted was the ability to validate selfish behavior as a virtue because that's "just what's necessary, I don't make the rules!" (Look ma, it's reification!)

10) This is where I usually point out that Adam Smith wrote that you have to overpay workers to keep your labor force up, and you need to take into account the psychic damage of capitalism to the workers, and that admiring the rich is the greatest source of moral corruption …

11) But I'll stave off that diversion to just land with … this is a discontinuity of attitudes which I think was once breached by the fact that management USED to come from people who loved building their company or their trade, even if they eventually did management shit.

12) Now, even that thin thread of SYMPATHY (Adam Smith joke, get it? People?) is gone. The CEO's are working off a different scorecard, practically and morally. We're not just playing by wildly divergent rules, our lives and careers are DEFINED by those wildly divergent rules.

13) To them, we are IN FACT being "unreasonable", as our behavior does not make sense in their moral framework. They don't think they're being evil, they think they're playing by the actual rules, and we're nuts.

14) There's not great conclusion to this, other than to note that the bit about making writers homeless was described as "cruel but necessary" because they genuinely don't understand the meaning of cruel, because they are always on the other side of the power dynamic.

15) And if they're ever NOT on the top of the power dynamic, they're not suffering, they're dead. They are un-people in their own eyes.

16) These men are not irrational, but they are deranged. This isn't about money, it's about identity. And in a fight about identity … they will set billions on fire.

Because they can always get more money. But they'll never shed the stink of losing to their lessers."

end of image description]

[hellohellowelcome]

ik it's just homophobia at work, but something that's always puzzled + bugged me is when fans can't apply the real-life complexities of romance, sexuality, and identity to fictional romance. I'll see a well-thought out analysis of how Ochako or Izuku are great examples of comphet, for example, and all of a sudden here comes a pack of dudebros shouting "MHA fans don't know how to read OCHAKO CANONICALLY LIKES MEN! IZUKU BLUSHES AROUND GIRLS! THEY ARE STRAIGHT!" from the rooftops....like.....okay? Should we clap? It's the same spirit that drives antis to rush to social media to say "bkdk and togachako are dead I prayed for times like these" instead of just enjoying their own ship 💀

It's "sexuality can be fluid and sometimes your understanding of the attraction you experience (or don't) changes over time and that's okay!" Unless, of course, you're talking about [insert character here who must be straight because it kinda seemed like it in these three panels from four years ago~] Like oh brother, give it a rest.

Again, there's nothing wrong w/ disagreeing with headcanons like these!! You might think, "well, I actually think Ochako's crush on Izuku is genuine and that they would make a cute couple!" That's great, love! Ship to your heart's content! My issue is when people act like any interpretations aside from heterosexuality are insane and the product of some inability to understand the source material. Especially when it doesn't affect your individual hcs or enjoyment of the series at all? And especially when most of these headcanons often come from actual queer fans seeing their experiences in these characters' journeys.

[hvly]

WINDBREAKER VIRGINS YOU SAY 👀👀👀

— ⋆｡˚｡⋆ ｡˚ 𓆩𖥔𓆪 ˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆ —

speaking : yep, you heard right 🙂‍↕️ every show/manga i read is gonna get hit with my virgin ray. "i love virgins, anon ! I LOVE VIRGIIINS !"

𓆩𖥔𓆪 — disclaimer ! these are just my opinions ! if you disagree, cool. let's keep it cute. tbh, they all could be virgins, but they’re the most pressing in my eyes.

Nirei Akihiko

Don't get me wrong, I like Nirei alot ! I think he's super cute and he's so sweet it makes my teeth hurt. But, until his confidence goes up, ain't nothing going down. i do think he has a separate notebook with sex tips that's he gathered from various sources. From friends he worked up the courage to ask, to Cosmo articles, to the pornos he watches on lonely nights. When he finally get brave enough to try though, best believe he'll be prepared for any possible scenario.

Sugishita Kyotaro

Again, I feel like perhaps because he's tall, quiet and handsome, y'all think he'd be laying pipe. I mean, the quiet ones are usually the nastiest in bed, right? extremely loud incorrect buzzer. It'd be a miracle to actually get a sentence out of him. And it'd be another miracle to convince him to come shake the sheets instead of playing Umemiya's shadow. The plants he takes care of have a better chance getting wet by him than you ever will.

Tsugeura Taiga

Straight up, he just scares away any possible suitors. Plus, he's a little slow on the uptake. Between being loud and a bit off putting, and his his inability to catch social cues, he is unfortunately stuck in perpetual virgindom. That's it, that's all.

Sakura Haruka

Now, put the torches and pitchforks down before y'all drag me to the town square. How do we as a collective think Sakura would react if he saw you naked? Stand there reveling in the majesty that is you, dick so hard he might pass out? No. He'd turn red and start yelling before you even get your shoes off. Get him more comfortable with being romantic/sexual, and i’m sure the yelling, stomping, flailing and cherry red blush will die down…in a couple years. Best of luck !

Saku Mizuki

Wannabe General Mizuki. The minute I saw him, I knew he was getting NO pussy. And that makes me sad for him, it truly does. He's too stiff. If, for some odd reason on your part, you decided to lay the moves on him, he'd probably lecture you on how it's inappropriate to shamelessly flirt with people. He'd kill the mood so bad. Plus that one dude called him ugly and he turned around..oof

Takiishi Chika

Take this one with a grain of salt, but from what I've gathered...he just would not be interested. I'm sure Endo has tried bringing it to his attention before. And I'm also sure he got the fire knocked out his ass as soon as it left his mouth. Now, if does decide to get his dick wet, I hope you're fully resigned to letting him do whatever he wants and possibly leaving unsatisfied. Utter anything that sounds like you're telling him what to do? Let's leave getting beat up to Endo, mkay?

Shuhei Suzuri

I think he finds fulfillment and joy in his hobbies and that's all he needs. Being able to cook for people and enjoy his games gives him the satisfaction he was missing when he was in extreme poverty. I'm sure he wouldn't really mind losing his virginity either way, but it's definitely not on the forefront of his mind. A consistently full belly and a couple video games is good enough for now.

Choji Tomiyama

He thinks everything is a game and plays entirely too much to just be fucking for real. And I think he's fine with that ! He's carefree and he's content knocking people's heads together. I do think you could probably get him to give losing his virginity a true shot if you compare him to Umemiya or make it a competition, though. But who's gonna do all that to nut? (I really just added him to make one specific person mad. Let me know if it worked <3)

Honorable Mention : Togame Jo & Umemiya Hajime

Just cuz I want to be the one to take their virginity. I have no real reason LMAOOO.

© 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘵𝘰 hvly 2024. 𝘋𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘧y.

[craziertogether]

stand UP.

i am so sorry to say this like this, but guys please stand up. there is absolutely no way anything in those leaks are true. i’m not even going to share the original bc it isn’t even worth the space in this post. but let’s be so honest, if byler isn’t confirmed or endgame that is something that i will discuss later, regarding the actual plot points revealed. WHY would any information about ST5 be revealed to the public? the duffers and netflix have been so secretive about everything to the point that we have gotten practically NO new content regarding the new season. There have been interviews yes, we’ve gotten very general ideas of mike and will’s relationship and that we know the show is ahead of editing but absolutely NOTHING has been said besides “you guys will be very happy”. they have continued saying since season 3 that “season X is the best season, it’s bigger than the last” and each time we have been proven correct, as bylers and as fans the show has grown into bigger things with bigger relations and bigger villains. so please tell me why ANYONE is believing that “the same season 4 tactics will be employed” and “EVERYONE SURVIVES” has us shaking rn. stand up.

regarding byler leaks. i am actually a byler truther, maybe i’m delusional and maybe we all are. but my goodness, we know the duffers are incredibly talented at writing and creating plot lines and storytelling, why in the ever living hell would they create a universe where they again stated it’s for outcasts, claim that “will takes center stage” in season 5 and that he “comes into his own” AND “he gets a love interest”, all to let him have a huge confession scene to get rejected by the person he’s been set up to be in love with for nearly 8 years IRL and a decade in the show. like i’m sorry but, what do you mean you expect me to believe that you guys believe that will, who so thinly but successfully veiled his love confession, poured his entire heart and soul into mike but not for his own desires but to make mike happy and to continue doing what he has always done. which is giving mike strength (season 1 finding him, season 2 helping him while he was possessed, season 3 helping him come to terms with his sexuality unknowingly and remind him of his actual love, will and his friends, and season 4 remind him he isn’t useless) and then he’s going to what? DO IT AGAIN? “hey mike i actually uhm yeah so i know i lied to you breaking our biggest rule but i had to let you know that actually the painting was from me and el doesn’t think of you at all the way that i said, it was all me bro” followed by a “oh my fault bro, uhm i don’t see you like that but let’s stay friends and i’m gonna marry your sister and uhm yeah ig well see each other around sorry if i confused you or something but thanks for helping me get over my inability to tell my girlfriend that i love her”. IF this happens i will personally go to the duffers house and kidnap them and make them watch byler edits and read analyses with them AND livestream it bc what a TERRIBLE ending.

like guys.. i acc cannot with you guys who are believing this “leak” i’m sorry 😭🙏. but please don’t tell me you’re going to let an unconfirmed source, AN ANONYMOUS LEAKER, of all things deter you from the incredible analyses and actual CANON information and content from the show??? will and mike are shown to have intimate moments, paralleled to actual couples, and have been SET UP to be in a love triangle, all canonically, and this on leak from a faceless twitter account with no actual connection to any cast/staff working with the show has you guys crumbling at the knees.

STAND UP I SAY. WE HAVE BIGGER ISSUES, LIKE WAITING FOR THE ACTUAL SEASON TO COME OUT.

ps. i’m such a yapper but guys please PLEASE BE SO FR.