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Tang Mo: If you were in a hurry, you could have killed me in the cornfield.

Bai Ruoyao: We’d only just met. I’m a psychopath, I’m not rude

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Tang Mo: I’m not gonna die before I cop a feel!

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Bai Ruoyao: So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Fu Wenduo does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff?

Mu Huixue: If Fu Wenduo were to jump off a cliff, they would’ve done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Fu Wenduo jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Bai Ruoyao: You jump off a cliff!

Mu Huixue: Gladly. Provided Fu Wenduo did first.

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Fu Wenduo: Hey, I’ve seen worse.

Tang Mo: Really!?

Fu Wenduo: No. We are most definitely fucked.

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[at the New Year’s eve party]

Tang Mo, raising their glass: I would like to offer a toast.

Tang Mo: I cannot believe already gone through another twelve months of absolute fuckery.

Tang Mo: Cheers, boys.

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Bai Ruoyao: The only time you seem honest is when you’re insulting someone!

Tang Mo: The only honest things I can say to you are insults.

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Tang Mo, at some point in the future: Ten years ago today, I married Bai Ruoyao.

Tang Mo: Fu Wenduo is still really angry about it, but Bai Ruoyao and I were drunk and thought it was funny.

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Fu Wenduo, stroking Tang Mo's head: You’re so tiny and adorable.

Tang Mo, half asleep: I could kick your ass right now.

Fu Wenduo, looking at Tang Mo with heart eyes: I know.

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Tang Mo, drunk: [points at Fu Wenduo] That’s my boyfriend, suckers!

Mu Huixue: Your husband, Tang Mo.

Tang Mo: My husband! Even better!

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Tang Mo: I googled ‘I hate Bai Ruoyao’ and got over a thousand results.

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Bai Ruoyao: An outsider might be tempted to say that it sucks to be me, but that’s a common mistake.

Bai Ruoyao: It’s AWESOME being me! What sucks is everything AROUND me!

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Bai Ruoyao, storming in: Your husband is bonkers!

Fu Wenduo: Yeah, but he’s cute.

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Bai Ruoyao: Oh, my God. Do you know what this is?

Tang Mo: It’s a book. There’s a lot of those in here, this is a library.

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Fu Wenduo: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules.

Tang Mo: What?

Fu Wenduo: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

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Tang Mo: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Fu Wenduo: Okay.

Tang Mo: And make out during the scary parts.

Fu Wenduo: Th-

Fu Wenduo: The scary parts.

Fu Wenduo: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

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Bai Ruoyao: Tang Mo, you’re the only one that understands me.

Tang Mo: Yeah, but it doesn’t mean I care.

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Teacher: Your child was in a fight.

Luo Fengcheng: Oh no, that’s terrible!

Tang Mo & Fu Wenduo: Did she win?