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Gobby: I do look like a hairless cat, I admit it.

Umbra: Proof?

Gobby: You’re so forward… *twirls hair*

Umbra: How are you doing that.

Source post :)

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*Norman and Vincent lying in bed*

Norman: *turns to Vincent and starts repeatedly poking him on the cheek*

Vincent: What are you doing?

Norman, still poking: I’m poking you.

Vincent: I can tell, but why?

Norman, still poking: I want attention.

Vincent: You could have just asked.

Norman, still poking: Well, I didn’t, did I?

Inspo post :)

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Ollie, to Harry: Bro, did you eat the whole edible? Like, the whole thing?

Ollie: That’s bad, dude.

Ollie: I mean, you’re gonna be fine.

Ollie: The horse demons don’t like that, though.

Ollie: You know, the evil horse demons with fucked up scary human faces that live in the bathroom at night so they can get people who are too high. Those ones.

Ollie: Yeah, they can smell if you’re scared.

Source post :)

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Hammerhead: O’Hirn, you admitted to me jus’ now that you have been committing marriage fraud to get more money out of me.

Hammerhead: What in the hell are you talking about?

Alex: Well, when your guys would work together on a job, you’d pay them more.

Alex: So Flint and I just decided to… get married.

Alex: And now we make more money, and we buy each other things sometimes. It works out good for both of us.

Alex: Every time I talk about it, I gotta tiptoe around the fact that… I’m not gay?

Hammerhead: Well, I got news for you.

Hammerhead: One. You didn’t have to get married to get me to assign you together.

Hammerhead: Two. If you and Flint are legally married, there ain’t any fraud goin’ on.

Hammerhead: You don’t gotta be gay to get married to a man.

Hammerhead: Although the two of you are definitely gay.

Alex: I love him, also.

Alex: I love my husband a lot.

Hammerhead: …

Source post :)

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Gwen: Is there anybody here who’s actually straight?

Harry: *puts his hand up*

Peter: *puts Harry’s hand down*

Inspo post :)

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Menken and Norman: *out on Oscorp business*

Menken: *sees a cute guy, and turns to Norman*

Menken: Permission to be gay, sir?

Norman: *annoyed sigh*

Norman: Fine.

Norman: Permission granted.

Inspo post :)

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Otto, in a serious tone of voice: So it’s been reported lately that you do, in fact, have little paw-paws and a little button nose. Do you care to comment?

Edison: Mrrrow

Otto: Riveting.

Adrian, just now walking in:

Adrian: Am I interrupting something?

Inspo post :)

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First time drawing these fuckers and it’s for this lol (I love my problematic faves)

Also for legal reasons this is a joke

Minors please DNI!

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Menken, wearing an expensive business suit and stopping outside Oscorp to check how he looks in the window: *distressed* My normal guy slay, my normal guy slay-

Source post :)

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Otto: Text me to say you’re home safely

Kieran: I’m home dangerously

Otto: Stop it.

Kieran: I’m home lethally

Kieran: I’m home in an extremely lackadaisically and downright reckless fashion

Otto: Text me that you’re home and not in the morgue and/or prison.

Kieran: My journey home is violating so many health and safety regulations

Kieran: I’ve killed three pedestrians

Otto: You’re breaking my heart.

Kieran: I actually got murdered as soon as I left your field of vision

Ft. @vvizardz ‘s OC Kieran

Source post :)

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Peter: Your dad looks GNC as fuck.

Harry: YOU’RE INSANE.

Source post :)

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Norman, working on Globulin Green: All testosterone should be neon green and glowing, by the way.

Menken, ordered to take notes for Norman: *sighs*

Source post :)

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Harry: I’m kind of crushing on someone but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not gonna like it.

Gwen: Rip the bandaid off.

Harry: It’s Peter.

Gwen: Put the bandaid back on.

Inspo post :)

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Gwen: This tabloid says that supposedly Harry’s dad was seen in a gay bar?

Peter: Okay…?

Gwen: That’s your response? ‘Okay’?

Peter: Next they’ll report a fork spotted in a kitchen.

Gwen: …

Peter: Come on now.

Inspo post :)

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Harry: Dad, are you gay?

Norman: I’m homophobic, Harry.

Peter: He’s dodging the question!

Inspo post :)

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Norman: I can’t mansplain manipulate manwhore my way out of this one, can I?

Norman, suiting up as Goblin: Manslaughter it is, then.

Minors DNI

Inspo post :)

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Flash: Why do I have to learn all of these interpersonal skills when I can just punch people in the face?

Peter: That’s not the can-do attitude I’m looking for!

Flash: But I can do punch them in the face.

Peter: I’m not sure what’s worse, your grammar or your morals.

Inspo post :)