incorrectbuffyquotes

[incorrectbuffyquotes]

Based on this post by @incorrectbuffyquotes

[incorrectbuffyquotes]

Based on this post by @incorrectbuffyquotes

[incorrectbuffyquotes]

Spike: (outside Buffy’s house in the dead of night half naked strumming a guitar) I love you bitch.

Buffy: Oh my god.

Spike: I ain’t never gonna stop loving you. Bitch.

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Spike: *leans in* Buffy: What are you doing? Spike: What are you doing? Buffy: I’m- Spike: I was just- Buffy: I’m rejecting your kiss. Spike: What? I didn’t…  *long pause* Spike: Can I have a ride home? Buffy: If you sit in the back.

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Everyone always wants new things. Everybody likes new inventions, new technology. People will never be replaced by machines. In the end, life and business are about human connections. And computers are about trying to murder you in a lake. And to me the choice is easy.

Rupert Giles

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Angel: I guess I underestimated you.

Spike: Yeah, well, maybe next time, you will… estimate me.

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Buffy: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him. What should I do?

Faith: Punch him in the stomach and when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Willow: Tackle him.

Xander: Kick him in the shin.

Angel: NO TO ANY OF THAT. JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN.

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Buffy: Sometimes I feel like God is teasing me. Just like he teased Moses in the desert.

Giles: Tested, Buffy. God tested Moses.

source: the simpsons

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I quit drinking because it's not good for your health, and I fell into a bonfire! Yeah, you're done drinking then, you don't need AA. Falling into a bonfire is a one step program

Buffy Summers

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Buffy, it's Dawn. Please come get me. I'm probably fine. But I also might be dead. Goodbye.

Dawn Summers

Source: New Girl

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Xander: I’m an old man now. 

Willow: Huh? By what measure? Logan’s Run?

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"Wrecked"

Spike: What we did last night was…

Buffy: Stupid.

Spike: Totally, crazy-stupid.

Buffy: What were we thinking?

Spike: I’m coming over tonight though, right?

Buffy: Oh, yeah, definitely.

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Willow: It happened, take from it what you can learn, move on.

Spike: Well, I learned if you kiss her too fast you get an ice-cream headache.

Buffy: You also learned that I have twice your upper body strength, so shut your pie hole.

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Buffy: That was Dawn’s school calling. Apparently, she’s been using some very creative language today.

Spike: Oh. Do tell.

Buffy: Well, she called her math homework a “cluster duck” and her teacher a “mother flunker”.

Spike: [amused] Did she call anyone a “sock sucker”?

[Buffy looks at him, pissed]

Spike: What? It’s just someone who sucks socks.

Buffy: I can’t believe you’re teaching my sister loophole swear words.

Spike: In my defense, “mother flunker” was entirely the little deviant’s creation. And very clever of her, I might add.

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Xander: I must be the best handyman you know. 

Buffy: You’re the only handyman I know. 

Xander: So you do think of me as a handyman. 

Buffy: I think of you as a man with hands. 

Xander: I will take that. 

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Some important new information has come to light. Women are the worst. I thought it was paper cuts, but I was wrong. No piece of paper ever cut me this deep.

Xander Harris

Original: The Big Bang Theory

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Buffy: Spike, you have lost your mind!

Spike, riding a children’s train in circles around the magic shop: YUP AND I DON’T MISS IT

Original: That 70s Show