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Joe, to Jack and Mikey: Alright, Shaggy and Scooby, you take the sinks, I’ll check the cabinets, and, Velma, you get the spooky looking fridge.

Josh: What?! Why do I get this... dubious looking device?!

Joe: Because only Velma would say ‘dubious device’. Velma gets the spooky fridge.

Mikey: What does that make you Joe? Fred?

Joe: Bitch, I’m Daphne.

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Byron: What is the one thing I told you not to do?

Joe: Burn the house down.

Byron: And what did you do?

Joe: Made you dinner.

Byron:

Joe:

Byron:

Joe: And burnt the house down.

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Mikey: Guys, I can’t find my phone.

Joe: Okay, let me call you.

Mikey: No -

Phone ringing: You are my dad (you’re my dad!) BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE

Joe:

Mikey:

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Joe: Bro.

Caspar: What bro?

Joe: Tell the whole world we’re bros.

Caspar, whispering: We’re bros.

Joe: Why did you whisper, bro?

Caspar: Because you’re my whole world bro.

Joe, tearing up: Bro.

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Joe: Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate sometimes.

Josh, on the verge of tears: Please let me sleep, it’s been three days for fuck sake.

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Jack: If your house was on fire and you could only take one thing, what would it be?

Byron: A nap.

Jack: Byron, no.

Byron: Byron, yes.

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Jack: I've got an idea: tell him no.

Josh: If we refuse, Mikey will never speak to us again.

Josh:

Jack: I've got an idea: tell him no.

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Jack: Can we please talk about the giant elephant in the room?

Conor: Your sexuality?

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Joe: Look at all these dishes. I used to just throw them in the sink and they’d be magically cleaned up by morning.

Byron: I did that. I cleaned the dishes.

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Oli: You’re a hot mess, you know that?

Jack: At least I’m a fun hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.

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Priest: Dianne Buswell, do you take Joe Sugg as your lawfully wedded husband?

Dianne: I Scooby-Dooby-Doo.

Joe: I want a divorce.

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[after hearing a noise]

Jack: I'm too pretty to die!

Byron: No way, I'm pretty too!

Joe: Alright, I'll go check.

[Joe leaves, and they hear another noise outside]

Byron: Oh my god. Caspar, go check on him!

Caspar: Why do I have to go?

Jack: I believe we've established the pretty scale.

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Conor: Mikey, that's enough sugar in your oatmeal.

Mikey: My body, my rules.

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Conor: When I said bring me back something from the beach, I meant like, a shell.

Joe, struggling to hold a seagull: Well you didn’t fucking say that.

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Caspar: What’s the problem with getting emotionally butt naked? I’m just trying to share my feelings.

Jack: We don’t want to see that.

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Mikey: I need to lay down for forty-five minutes.

Mikey:

Mikey: No, an hour.

Mikey: A full hour!

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Jack: Hey, we make a pretty great team.

Oli: You were absolutely no help whatsoever.

Jack, shrugging: Eh.