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Guanyin: Why did you go down and eat children?

Fish: *blup*

Guan Yin really needs to teach her pets some manners.

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Ao Bing: Why do you have the camera for?

Nezha: Eh, Wukong asked me to make a TV show about your family drama.

Ao Bing: What?

Nezha: He calls it, "Keeping up with the Ao Family."

Ao Bing: Am I being recorded right now? Don't, I look terrible in this lighting

Nezha: No, you don't. Gorgeous.

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Nezha: *guarding his stuff* Wukong, what are you doing here?

Wukong, who was totally not planning on scaring the emperor and bringing Red Boy: I, uh... I'm sleepwalking! Also, now I'm sleep-talking. *points at the spear* Nice spear, by the way.

Nezha: You! You're the one stealing my stuff!

Wukong: What? No! My crime is a lot better than that. *walks through the gate* I'm gonna get that throne and be ready in the morning when the Jade Emperor comes in and I burn his clothes. Then maybe I'll steal something. Night's still young.

Nezha: What's next? Is Red Boy here, too?

Red Boy stealing his wind-fire wheels: *falls on his face* I'm okay

Nezha: *done with everything* Go home and stop stealing my stuff!

Wukong is a klepto and Nezha is too old for his bs.

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The-Buddha: You're too smart to be a thug, too much of a thug to be Smart.

Sun-Wukong: >:P

(Source: YouTube)

He's everyone's nightmare: An intelligent arsehole.

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Bai Longma: :) Sha Wujing: >:( Bai Longma: Turn that frown upside down! Sha Wujing: ):< Bai Longma: Not sure what I was expecting...

Good question. What were you expecting, dragon boy?

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Erlang Shen: My ultimate goal is to punch my uncle in the eye, just to spite him one last time.

DOITDOITDOITDOITDOIT-

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Golden Cicada: Live, laugh, love! Yellow Brow: Die, cry, hate.

Golden Cicada: You'll die alone.

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Sun Wukong back from collecting alms: Where is everyone? Bai Longma: Erlang Shen had a nervous collapse, shifu is looking after them, Wujing is trying to kill Bajie, so I’m in charge. Sun Wukong: Oh heavens! Bai Longma: I know, right?

Sun Wukong: *sighs* I swear, I can't leave you guys alone for five minutes!

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Zhenying looking at Ao Bing: Pretty!

Nezha: Anyway, I better get this one home *holding Zhenying* See you Ao Bing

Zhenying reaching out for Ao Bing: No nonono

Nezha: *kissing her forehead* Yees. You need to sleep now.

Ao Bing: When are we getting our own family?

Nezha: What?

Ao Bing: What?

Yes, Nezha! When are you?

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Bai Longma: Did you guys miss me while I was gone? Zhu Bajie: You were gone?

Tripitaka: *wacks Bajie upside the head with his khakkara* YES, WE MISSED YOU! WE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!

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Erlang Shen: I think we can be evil. As a treat. Golden Cicada: We? Sun Wukong: We. :)

Golden Cicada: This will end badly.

*a few hours later*

Erlang Shen & Sun Wukong: *laughing maniacally, as everything is on fire*

Golden Cicada, on the phone: Hello, Shifu? Yes, we have a problem here.

The Buddha: *sighs*

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Sha Wujing: If I fall down these stairs, I'm just going to lay down and accept my fate.

Wujing, no!

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Ao Bing: *waiting for Nezha* what's taking him so long?

Longnü: Oh, he went to jail after being involved with property damage. Zhenying was the one driving.

Ao Bing: What?! I'll see you later, I need to bust them out. *opens the door to see Wukong*

Wukong: Hey, so me and my husband need help breaking out our kids-

Ao Bing, busting out his credit card: Say no more.

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Tang Sanzang: Why be bored when you can be taped to a ceiling?

Random mook demon: You okay up there?

Tripitaka: Eh, you know. Just another Monday.

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Erlang holding the phone: Hello *shock* Wukong, wake up, Zhenying went to jail!

Wukong grabbing the phone: Zhenying, if you see the biggest one, assert dominance and beat that guy up. No one would lay a finger on you until we get there!

Nezha on the other end: Tell them I'm here too.

Zhenying: Papa, Nezha is here with me too.

Erlang: What did you two even do?

Zhenying: I went to the Eastern Dragon Palace with Ao Lie and helped Big Brother go on his date with that one dragon prince, but I crashed into the side of the building.

Wukong looking outside: Is that why Ao Lie is not here?!

Bai Long Ma, screaming on the other end: Zhenying, they're piling on me!

Zhenying: Also, there's a prison riot. Love you guys, bye!

Nezha: Wait, don't hang up yet- *phone line dead*

Sun Wukong: *sighs* We'll have to stop a prison riot, don't we?

Erlang Shen: *grins* No. We just have to get our family.

Sun Wukong: ... I love you, A'Jian.

Erlang Shen: I love you too.💖

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ZhuBajie: Amazing! shifu, your just like Shrek Homeless! TangSanzang: IT'S SHERLOCK HOLMES!

The nerd has been triggered. Run, Bajie.

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Erlang Shen: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

And not even five sessions in, the therapist regrets their choice of profession.