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Agatha's reaction to Billy's sass in episode 7:

Agatha: You think you can just bully people, but you can’t. It’s not okay. I’m the bully around here. Ask anyone.

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Agatha: I've been through hell.

Jennifer: Big deal. I worked at a sunglass kiosk at the mall for four years. So not only have I been through hell. . .

I was assistant manager there.

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Agatha: You love that nerd stuff.

Billy: Writing things down is nerdy? What do you do?

Agatha: I just forget stuff like a cool person.

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Agatha coming out of Wanda's spell:

Agatha: Mark the day, Rio. May 18th at 4:00 p.m.

Rio: Oh, honey. We're well into October.

Agatha: Really??

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Agatha: Why don't we just set fire to the fence, you know, set it ablaze?

Billy: That's arson.

Agatha: Well, let's leave that up to the lawyers. Point is, it would work.

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Agatha and Rio's vows:

"I guess I kind of hate most things. But I never really seem to hate you. So I want to spend the rest of my life with you, is that cool?"

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Billy, about Agatha:

I don't care what happened last episode, I'm so excited for Agatha and Wanda to co-parent Billy

(and also I love that this is an april ludgate/aubrey plaza quote)

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Billy: I don't get it. Is this bath water?

Agatha: Might as well be; it's rosé.

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Agatha: I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

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Agatha Harkness:

i was made to be the sweetest girl ever. it’s on you if i turn evil

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Rhodey: Hey, what are you doing tonight?

Tony: More like, who am I doing tonight?

Rhodey:

Tony: No one. I'm free. What's up?

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Sam: Shotgun for eternity! Bucky: You can’t call shotgun for eternity. Sam: I just called it. Bucky: You can’t just call things! Sam: I call that I can call things!

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Peter: Mr. Stark! I wasn’t super paying attention to what you just said we would be doing, but I will give it 110%!

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Bucky [deadpan]: My therapist said I need to be more vocal about appreciating myself. Thank you, Bucky. You’re welcome, Bucky.

Bucky: I sound insane.

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Peter: This is the worst day of my life.

Tony, trying and failing to be comforting: The worst day of your life, so far.

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Bucky: Right, that's the guy you said the lame stuff about, like he's a good listener.

Sam: I'm sorry, what do you look for in a guy?

Bucky: I don't know, real stuff: shape of his ass.

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Tony: Be super critical. Rhodey: You’re short. Tony: I meant about my new suit.