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Robert: I’ll speak french between your legs.

Toyah: That’s… the hottest thing I’ve ever been told.

Bill: I’m just picturing someone screaming ‘BONJOUR!’ at a penis.

Tony: SACRE BLEU MADEMOISELLE VAGINA HON HON HON TITTY CROISSANTS

Adrian: TITTY CROISSANTS

Robert: Literally none of you should be having sex, ever.

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Robert: Birthday parties don’t make any sense. You were born. Congratulations! You have met the bare minimum requirement for existence! Oh and now you want presents? Would you like some cake with your participation trophies? Yes, let’s all eat cake at a party that’s going to force me to chip in for a bunch of food and drinks I didn’t want. Hurrah!

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Alan: Listen, Chris, I’ve been thinking about our current living situation and, uh… why are you smiling?

Chris: I got a little surprise.

Chris, pointing to a fish tank: Look, I got us a new fishie. I named him, uh… “Alan”, you know, after… after you.

Alan, leans down to look in tank: …Well, that’s not even a real fish. You know, that’s a Goldfish Cracker.

Chris, in a serious tone: So, what’s your point, man?

Alan: …Okay, good night… you big, freak of nature…

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David: You look tired today.

Roger: And you look like a burnt piece of toast 24/7 but do I comment?

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John: Good morning.

Bill: Good morning.

David: Good morning.

Robert: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Jamie: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

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Pete: John is okay.

Roger: He’s okay? He said he was going to break my legs. And don’t tell me he didn’t mean it, okay? ‘Cause he gave me the dead mackerel eyes. He meant it!

Pete: Roger, John threatened me. He threatened Keith. He probably threatened someone before breakfast this morning. It’s what he does. Come on. Grow a pair!

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Welp, since I'm absolute garbage at keeping my promise to post more often, I made a video to make up for it.

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John: Hey, Freddie, Veronica and I are expecting-

Freddie: AAAAA BABIES?! OH MY GOD! I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU TWO! I CAN’T WAIT TO WATCH THEM GROW! PLEASE CAN I NAME IT!!!!!???

John: I was going to say packages but I’ll go tell Veronica that

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Toyah: [kisses Robert]

Robert: What is this?

Toyah: Affection

Robert: Disgusting

Robert:

Robert: Do it again

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Today, we lost a legend.

Rest In Peace, Peter Tork.

You may be gone but you’ll never be forgotten.

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Kenney: The best revenge, really, is being nice!

John: [in the distance] Or murder

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Jim: [comes home and sees Freddie wrapped up in Christmas lights] Um, cutie, what are you doing?

Freddie: Hey, Jim. Want some Christmas cheer?

Jim: You’re tangled in the lights, aren’t you?

Freddie: Help

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Geddy: Thanks, dad

Ray:

Everyone:

Geddy: Why is everyone staring at me?

Alex: You just called Ray dad. You said, “thanks, dad”

Geddy: What? No, I didn’t! I said “thanks, man”

Ray: Do you see me as a father figure, Geddy?

Geddy: No. If anything, I see you as a bother figure, ‘cause you’re always bothering me

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George: Talk to him, that’s what friends do

John: Nope. I’m gonna wait ‘til I’m on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately

George: That’s your plan for dealing with this?

John: That’s my plan to deal with everything. I have seventy-seven arguments I’m going to win that way

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Izzy: Slash, please keep an eye on Axl today. He’s gonna say something to the wrong person and get himself punched

Slash: Sure, I’d love to see Axl get punched

Izzy: Try again

Slash: I will stop Axl from getting punched

Izzy: Correct

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Jon: If I run and leap at Chris, he will almost certainly catch me in his arms

Jon: COMING IN! [runs at Chris]

Chris: NO! I’M HOLDING COFFEE!

Chris: [drops cup of coffee on the floor and catches Jon]

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Freddie: I didn’t want to do this, but I know one way we can get the money

Roger: You’d make a decent prostitute

Freddie: I’d make an amazing prostitute, but I was actually talking about this guy I know