incorrectsamdean

[incorrectsamdean]

sam: he put the keys down, five minutes later, “WHERE ARE THE FUCKIN KEYS I FUCKIN LEFT THEM HERE ON THE TABLE!” luckily we found the spare pair in the pantry, but where were the original pair, dean?

dean: …

sam: dean, where were they?

dean: …

sam, sighing: let me try again. dean, where. were. they?

dean: …the dishwasher.

[incorrectsamdean]

*family game night*

sam: my turn! i pick six.

john: uh, sam, you need to roll the dice.

sam, moving his token: one, two, three four five six.

john: dean, objection.

dean: i’m going to allow it.

john: why??

dean: because he cracks me up.

[incorrectsamdean]

sam, exiting the bathroom in just a towel: hey have you seen-

dean: [immediate drooling]

sam: uh, dean? you’re…

dean, too busy staring: future mr. whatever-your-last-name-is.

sam: …winchester. the same as you.

[incorrectsamdean]

dean: i think dad mixed up our lunches. look. [holds up a post-it note that says “i love you so much.”]

sam: oh. well that explains this. [holds up a post-it note that says “please be good. for the love of god, please be good.”]

[incorrectsamdean]

dean: i’m gonna fake an epileptic seizure.

sam: you are not an epileptic.

dean: that’s why i’m gonna fake it.

[incorrectsamdean]

sam: here’s some advice.

cas: i didn’t ask for any.

sam: too bad. i’m stuck here with my thoughts and you’re the only one who talks to me.

[incorrectsamdean]

dean: hey what’s the name of the guy who lives down the hall?

sam: his cats names are walter and rose.

dean: that’s not what i asked.

sam: that is all the information i have.

[incorrectsamdean]

sam: i relate to belle because she loves books and likes people for who they are.

dean: i relate to tinkerbell because she needs attention or she dies.

[incorrectsamdean]

sam, scolding jack: we are not mad, just disappointed.

cas: no, we're mad.

sam: yes, we are mad. we are livid. but we are going to let this one slide.

cas: no, we are not.

sam: i’m not a mind reader, cas!

[incorrectsamdean]

dean: oh just so you know, it’s very muggy outside.

sam:

sam: dean, i swear, if i step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn, i’m leaving you.

dean: [sips coffee from bowl]

[incorrectsamdean]

sam: we’re going out in public. i expect you to be on your best behavior.

dean, to jack: yeah, kid. listen to your father.

sam: i was talking to you.

[incorrectsamdean]

exclusive footage of the winchesters before going on a hunt

insp @1337wtfomgbbq

[incorrectsamdean]

teen sam: [swears loudly]

john, overhearing: what are we?

sam: heroes not swearoes

[incorrectsamdean]

jody: this computer invasion that sam’s performing on the coroner’s office. one assumes it is entirely legal.

sam: entirely.

dean: of course.

jody: right. wasn’t here… didn’t see it… couldn’t have stopped you.

dean: good idea.

[incorrectsamdean]

sam: what the fuck? people actually tell their crushes they like them??

dean: what the hell do YOU do?

sam: i die? lmao what kinda question…

[incorrectsamdean]

sam: okay, i’m going to get the wedding cake.

dean: perfect while you do that i’ll check on the ring bear.

sam: …

sam: you mean ring bearER, right?

dean: …

sam: look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

[incorrectsamdean]

dean: you need to be more careful!

sam, who was dragged into dean’s issue: careful? CAREFUL?! I'LL CAREFULLY WRAP MY HANDS AROUND YOUR THROAT-