incorrectsupergiantquotes

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Regardless of your gender or sexuality, reblog this and tag your most hetero male trait. Mine is either obsessing over my Altima or sitting around watching TV shows about air disasters.

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Volfred: Have a little faith in us, Bertrude.

Bertrude: We have great faith, Sandalwood, tempered with vast annoyance.

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Zagreus: There are always lessons in failures.

Demeter: Yes. You must be very wise by now.

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Dusa: I’m sorry, Prince. You’re cute, but I can’t really deal with your whole situation.

Zagreus: Oh, I understand, I can’t deal with it either.

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Than, reading the news: Some idiot tried to fight a goose at the park.

Zag, covered in bite marks and feathers: Maybe the goose was being a dick.

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Zagreus: I think I have a thing for tall people...

Megaera: It's not a thing for tall people if everyone is taller than you.

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Callisto: [gesturing at mortal worshipers] Another one's fallen for you.

Artemis: Why does this always happen?

Callisto: It’s the bright eyes, the leather. Some guys just love leather.

Artemis: I think it's time for a wardrobe change.

Callisto: You could wear chainmail...

Artemis: Yeah, but I think that’d just attract a kinkier group.

Callisto: You’re probably right.

Artemis: On the other hand, I could just stop bathing and wear a smelly wolf skin. That’d turn ‘em off.

Callisto: [grins] That’s true. Of course, you’d also be traveling alone...

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Thanatos: Can you conceive how lonely I am - when there is nothing that doesn't shrink from me?

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Zagreus: Do you have any sort of creed or philosophy that you live by?

Dionysus: Have... a good... time... all the time. That's my philosophy, Zag man.

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[Zagreus, having just defeated Theseus in a fight, standing over him with the point of his sword against Theseus’ chest]

Zagreus: Mercy is the mark of a great man.

[Stabs Theseus]

Zagreus: Guess I’m just a good one.

[Stabs him again]

Zagreus: Well, I’m all right.

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Zagreus: It’s just a metaphor, Asterius.

Theseus: His people are completely literal, you monster! Metaphors are going to go over his head!

Asterius: Nothing goes over my head. My reflexes are too fast. I would catch it.

Megaera: [freshly summoned and hating it] I'm gonna die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the Underworld.

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Rukey: I'm not one to complain, but can't the Blackwagon fly any higher?

Volfred: I have an idea, why don't we all get on your back and you can fly us all the way to Mount Alodiel?

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Asterius: We face each other as the gods intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons. Skill against skill alone.

Zagreus: You mean, you'll put down your axe, and I'll put down my sword, and we'll try and kill each other like civilized people?

Asterius: (shrugs) I could kill you now.

Zagreus: Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand-fighting.

Asterius: It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise.

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Thanatos: Are you sitting?

Zagreus: Sometimes I sit.

Thanatos: Never seen it.

Zagreus: You don't know everything I do.

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Theseus: Fiend! You knocked that smug look off my face, but luckily I was wearing a second, smaller smug look underneath!

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Lord Hades: You’re a complete embarrassment, boy. To me, to Achilles, to the Underworld, to the House of Hades, to me, to our family, to me--

Zagreus: You said 'to me' like three times.

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Zagreus: On a scale from 1 to 10, you’re a 9, because I’m the 1 you need.

Meg: I'm a ten.

Zagreus: No, see, it's a pickup line--

Meg: (readying her whip) I. Am. A. Ten--