inkeepingsilentsecrets

[inkeepingsilentsecrets]

I don't need to eat I don't need to eatI don't need to eatI don't need to eatI don't need to eat I don't need to eat I don't need to eat I don't need to eat I don't need to eat I don't need to eat I don't need to eat I don't need to eat I don't need to eat I don't need to eat I don't need to eat I don't need to eat I don't need to eat I don't need to eat I don't need to eat I don't need to eat I don't need to eat

I don't need it

[inkeepingsilentsecrets]

This song is everything I think, everything I feel, and everything I want to be

[inkeepingsilentsecrets]

Been a rough couple of weeks with a lot of binges and restricting but now I'm ready to focus down and get back to where I was

Let's do this

[inkeepingsilentsecrets]

Talked to my boyfriend a bit about my weirdness with food and he was all like "I love you for who you are"

And I was just sitting there thinking

"well yeah but you'd love me even more if I was skinnier, let me do this for you"

[inkeepingsilentsecrets]

Woke up and got to experience my dad calling me and the rest of my siblings a bunch of "w*rthless f**kers*

So hey

It's free restriction I guess

[inkeepingsilentsecrets]

If a demon appeared and told me that I could be happy and thin and it'd just cost half of my lifespan

I would have accepted before he finished his sentence

[inkeepingsilentsecrets]

Got me a bf now so I'm kinda stuck between recovering because I'm happy and doubling down so that I can be as skinny as possible for him

[inkeepingsilentsecrets]

Addicted to the feeling of laying down and running my hands over and under my ribs, cannot wait until I can do this all the time

[inkeepingsilentsecrets]

3/15

Dinner: Stew and rice: 700cal

Snack: garlic bread: 300 cal

Total 1000

12640 steps: -725 cal

Net: 275 cal

Planning on a full day fast tomorrow wish me luck!

[inkeepingsilentsecrets]

Hey all, apologies for being absent, it's been a rough time for me recently but I'll be back full swing here

3/14

Breakfast, lunch, dinner: nothing 0cal

8k steps

Feeling good physically, just gotta keep at it

[inkeepingsilentsecrets]

2/24 report

Not all that great but I'm trying

Breakfast:nothing

Lunch: fries and a ice cream slush: about 900 cal

Dinner: bowl of spaghetti: 500 cal

16k steps: -1000 cal

400 cal net

I'm falling off slightly I can feel it, I'm getting too comfortable with the food that I hate and the cravings that I despise

Any motivation, positive or mean would be greatly appreciated

Thanks

[inkeepingsilentsecrets]

2/22 check in:

Breakfast/lunch/dinner: nothing

8k steps

Got a raise at work so that was pretty cool! Finally breaking out of the binge cycle I was in, best thing I can do to help it is to not stay up as late as it seems that my body is trained to have very strong cravings at like 2am lmao

Gonna have to find time to workout now that the new D2 expansion is out and I have to prepare for day 1 raiding, oh well I'll find a way

Good luck to everyone, fight off those cravings and the pain just a little bit longer! You'll get there in no time and you'll be so happy you did!

Love you guys

[inkeepingsilentsecrets]

It has been a super rough week for me

From horrible drama between my friends to terrible late night cravings to road conditions being too bad to go to the gym I have gained about three pounds

Seeing that scale hurt like a kick to the chest but it was also a good thing to see because it could have been so much worse and that it's only a minor setback

For myself and to everyone continuing to push forward to our UGW:

We've got this, we just need to stay strong and we will become who we want to be, we will be skinny and loved and happy

Take care all!

[inkeepingsilentsecrets]

Actually about to just super glue my lips together I stg

[inkeepingsilentsecrets]

Sister came by and had me try a bunch of Japanese snacks she got so I had to break my fast at 40 hours

All in all ate under 300 cal which is half of what I burned today so still in the green

Gonna resume fasting

Onward and upward everyone!

[inkeepingsilentsecrets]

Diary 2/13

Breakfast/lunch/dinner: nothing

0 cal

9500 steps: -600 cal

After a bit of a rough eating weekend being invited out with friends I'm back on track today with a full fast that will continue on for 3-4 days.

I am more than my cravings and I WILL be under 200 pounds this week mark my words

[inkeepingsilentsecrets]

2/9 check in

All day: nothing

About 9k steps

Not too bad, will continue the fast into tomorrow