insalmonous

[insalmonous]

if you malliable and ductile hmuuu im looking to form an ionic bond w/ sum1

[insalmonous]

My baby. I'm so sorry.

[insalmonous]

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a fapping,

As of some one gently jacking, jacking at my chamber door.

“‘Tis some visitpig,” I muttered, “pleasuring himself at my chamber door— Only this and nothing more.”

[insalmonous]

Hired a moving company and they sent four strong, strapping, beautiful lads to my house to disassemble my furniture and move all my things. I loved them. I got them pizza. They told me moving company gossip. I missed them one minute after they left. My moving lads. Come back to me. You're so strong and so well trained in safe lifting

[insalmonous]

[insalmonous]

"Learn your queer history! (but don't talk about all the racism and transmisogyny)"

[insalmonous]

it's genuinely crazy that free the nipple died

[insalmonous]

the American people are so fucking in love with the idea of war despite it never fucking coming to their home soil

[insalmonous]

sort of silly to think about how the crowd that parrots the "Generative AI is burning down forests!" misinfo are often from the first world who have been majorly responsible for global warming for the 200 years or so

[insalmonous]

Releasing my brand newest item it's a t shirt with a picture of a half-frog half-possum creature wearing an I'm With Her shirt and holding a Starbucks cup and it says Be They, Heckin Do Crime you Valid Gremlin and it will INSTANTLY kill every ReThuglican alive with the power of vote blue no matter who and you can wear it with your heckin gay wifey and your horrible adopted cat Licksore who will eat a hole in your head after you pass away on your bathroom floor so fucking buy it you insufferable cunt

[insalmonous]

So far loving the theme of people responding with "haha but like. Muh be gay do crime"

I hate the queer uwu smol bean possum be gay do crime aesthetic so fucking much. It's unbearable. I hate sanitization

[insalmonous]

[insalmonous]

counting my chickens before htey hatch? bitch. i fucking; hard boiled the eggs. i kinda fucked up peeling them but its ok because they're getting chopped up anyway. for Egg Salad. i made egg salad sandwiches. you want one? they're pretty good. we've got the white bread for it too. so yeah, them eggs are fucking accounted for

[insalmonous]

sitting through a meeting with jd couch on easter killed the fucking pope

[insalmonous]

[insalmonous]

We mostly joke around on this blog but can someone unironically mail me prescription amphetamines