A adopted 13 y/o with FASD and other "disabilities" struggles to survive life at a middle/high school that cant even be called a middle/high school. with her past issues behind her (anger issues, aggressive tendencies, impulse control, etc) she searches for a reason worth living for. because of these issues, she was placed at a residential/treatment facility where she had to spend 14 months away from what she called family just to get "better help" because she kept a journal with her on her long 14 month journey, we put ourselves in her shoes and explore somewhat of what its like to be her or living in a treatment facility.
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1/22/20-Wednesday
i really wish i had a phone. im stuck on the bus and im FUCKING BORED!!! im the only one on the bus that doesnt have a phone. it would be nice to catch up on some anime right now or text my friends ( believe it or not) or play games or listen to music or.... u get the point. school today wasnt that good. DBT happened and DBT sucks. its always so boring and akward.*shivers* its sometimes is SOOOO BOOORRRIIINNNNGGG that it felt like torture. 😩im just super depressed. i see all my friends with their phones and i just get super jealous. i mean i am the type to get jealous VERY EASILY! i sometimes wush i had mind control plwers (like shinso from my hero academia; if u havent watched i suggest u get started. its one of my fav animes😍😆) but dont we all wish to live in a superhuman society? i know i certainly do. ok , make my parents get me a phone, computer, tablet, NINTENDO SWITCH, etc. Everything my 16 y/o brother (aka Isaiah) has. (FYI im 13 y/o. although, it is almost my bday. february 9, 2006. and yes, im an aquarius!) ok, what was i saying before? oh yea. right!.... i totally forgot 😞 i wonder what it would be like if me and my brother switched places. like id be the oldest and hed be the youngest.😏 that would be nice. will i still get what he has? no one knows the true reason why i take money, credit cards, etc. and everytime i try to explain it they just think its SOME STUPID EXCUSE!!! ITS NOT! and thats what gets mepissed off. 😡😠👿😤 this is why i cant share my real/true feelings or emotions with anyone. not even my therapist ms.smith knows the WHOLE story. i wish "trust" never existed. (just like me. yay!😑) what i really want is to get a phone either before isaiahs bday or for 8th grade graduation. if i got it, this icredit card fraud would all....guess what.... DISAPPEAR!!! *dramatic sound effects* why? because theres no need to steal somethin that u either A) already have or B) dont want to lose. (especially when u just got it. 🙂) now my tablet... thats a whole different story. but i guess i have a little time to spare because i dont get home until like 4:30. i want zankou for dinner. ive been craving it for the past 2 DAYS!! 🤤ok so about that tablet... i mean, i guess its nice having it around but the camera SUCKS!! id prefer something better...wouldnt u? i wouldnt say its useless but if ihad to choose between the tablet and a game consle (nintendo switch) id choose the switch. infact thats the reason why i plug the credit card numbers into my tablet my parents wont even let me switch it for a better one. 😢😭 i can get a lot done on the tablet but....i dunno.....sometimes,i feel that it would be best if i smashed it, burned it, got rid of it because theres no point in having it if it only makes me crave for something better. im the only one in my class (class has 10 students) who doesnt have a phone. even Megan and Faith got one. and im the only phoneless one. 😢😞 i wonder....what if i got adopted by a different parents or had black parents. i am a black girl living with a mixed mom and a white dad. 🤔 i wonder if my life filled with FASD, anger issues, aggressive behavior, and ADHD would have been better (or worse). i wonder if the world wouldve been a better place if i was never born. PS, if ure reading this, i dont need ur FUCKING PITY!! remember, im just a fictional character! what i really need in my life is help. but no one can provide that shit for me. maybe mom and but its not gonna happen. and im absolutely 100% positive about that. *yawn* im gettkng sleepy. lets continue this tomorrow. oh! i forgot to introduce my self. *clears throat* i am Eliana Maya (aka Eli May) and this is "my" plot twisting, crazy, weird, perverted, weeb life. lets continue today tomorrow. im really regreting staying up till 11:11 just to make a stupid wish that probably wont even come true. its time to catch some z's. also, even tho i have an A in english, my spelling and grammar suck. just letting yall know 😉😁 but for reals this time. IM GOING TO SLEEP! good night my readers 😪😴😪😴 -Eli May NOTE: THIS STORY IS PURE FICTION! ENJOY!!
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