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I have a first paragraph. I have an end. And fuck all else. Work backwards⦠work backwards yes. You see I simply have no fucking clue. I have random scenes some adorable some violent. But actual plot? We donāt know her.
#writing#outlining is so fucking difficult for no reason#i kinda wanna cry#writing is so fucking hard#but itās fun#it will cause me to slowly lose my mind but itās also my last tether to sanity#:))) this is fine
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Iām just gonna use this as a way to be a shit person. Maybe not a shit person maybe just tired and trapped. Basically donāt mind the vent.
I do everything for him. Literally everything. And somehow thatās not enough and Iām trying my best but oh no. Not good enough. He used love like a weapon and when I show that Iām upset in any way he tells me thereās nothing to be upset about. I canāt fucking leave for more than three hours cause Iām a goddamn caretaker. I didnāt ask for this role. I didnāt want this role. I do not have the mental stability for it. But did I ever get a say in the matter? Nope! So here I am. Doing my best while he throws slurs and criticism and manipulation and conveniently forgets the shitty things heās done and said throughout my life. And yes I know. Heās my grandfather. Iām supposed to care. But I am so beyond the point of being able to give a fuck anymore. I want to move out. But I canāt. Because fuck my life I guess. Need a job to be able to leave. Need to be able to leave to have a job. My mom says a few months and if it isnāt better weāll talk like that makes the fact that I havenāt gotten a fucking break since September okay. Like⦠man I am tired and so far beyond done itās not even funny. And this man⦠just the entitlement and the fact that he did this to himself but blames everyone but him? Nah⦠no. Fuck all the way off. I am not a nurse. I did not and do not want to be one. If I did, I would have gone to school for that. But even they get to go home at the end of the day. And oh yeah had a say in doing it. He doesnāt want me to hate him but says hateful things. He says sorry, doesnāt say why heās sorry and nothing changes anyways so doesnt matter. And Iām just⦠here. You know I canāt even really go outside? The two minutes I had today was the first time I was outside in 2 weeks.
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When your āprogressiveā grandfather throws out homophobic slurs⦠and youāre just here like š š« ā¦yeah thatās ā¦something.
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if youre not worried about trans rights issues because "its only in the usa" then youre sorely mistaken, once theyre done fucking killing us in the usa, theyre coming for other countries too. there was already a terf protest in australia, given, they were drowned out by trans supportive people, but this shows that they wont fucking stop in just america. we need to do all we can to fight transphobes, fight for our rights, fight so we can fucking live safely.
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I finished Art Heist Baby
Iām actually going to go insane. Like that was beautiful and then ā¦pain. Just ow.
#james potter#regulus black#jegulus#iām fucking sad#but you know#theyāre fine#nothing is wrong#cause theyāre happy in the stars#I love you. thatās all.#iām gonna go cry now
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Tell me why Iām using art heist baby as a way to cope with crimson rivers ā¦oh Iām fuckedā¦
#art heist baby#crimson rivers#send help#iām scared#jegulus#wolfstar#everything is fine#Iām so scared Iām on chapter 25 of ahb and actively ignoring the mcd tag#theyāre fine#they are in love#they live happily ever after
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ā¦hey⦠what the actual fuck- but- no!
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āYou donāt have to be sorry Ā for leavingĀ and growing upā
~ Matilda is for Sirius.
āI can run, but I canāt hide From my family lineā
~ Family Line is for Regulus.
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