jacksghey

[jacksghey]

[jacksghey]

[jacksghey]

Stories that would be improved by polyamory:

Dracula: it's basically a novel of kitchen-table polyamory already, but this way someone might actually kiss Jack Seward.

A Midsummer Night's Dream: just let them all have an orgy at the end. I feel like they'd be into it. Puck's invited too if he wants.

Bridget Jones' Diary: why force a choice between Mark and Daniel if there was the option to have both?

Any Arthuriana: less cheating, more honesty, fewer duels, more snogging, everyone's a winner.

Stories that would be made worse by polyamory:

Wuthering Heights: dear God do not give Cathy and Heathcliff a reason to drag more people into their terrible relationship than are already involved.

[jacksghey]

if you try to run me through with your blade i'll just pull it in deeper until we're face to face and kiss you on the mouth. with tongue.

[jacksghey]

[jacksghey]

this is a confession to the star wars fandom because I have to get this off my chest. last summer just for fun I taught myself to read aurebesh and. you fanartists have Got to Continue putting the most Hilarious stuff into the background of your art because it is literally my favorite thing

here’s a couple of excellent things I’ve read since I started keeping a list just last month:

- “I hate drawing lightsabers”

- “Idk what to put here”

- “stupid fucking sign”

- “eat paste, it’s good”

- an entire news article on a phone screen which I actually found really impressive

- a few funny misspellings but the best one so far was ahsoka somehow becoming “asock”

- wanted poster of obi wan that read “wanted for fashion crimes”. the caption translated it as “wanted for high treason”. like blatantly lying to my face. love it.

- door on a ship was labeled “cake storage”

- “shopping list: frogs, hair gel, lightsaber polish”

and my personal favorite:

- “if you’re reading this you’re a fucking nerd”

[jacksghey]

the absolute tgirl swag of elagabalus gathering up all the prostitutes and bottoms in rome and giving them lectures on being horny

[jacksghey]

I made a little wooly bear caterpillar. I was inspired by The Closet Historian's moth brooch video to learn turkey stitch, and I tried brushing it with a wire brush, which really fluffed it up a lot more. I had to trim it a little bit more after the brushing.

All the materials were from my stash, and I didn't time it but it took quite a few hours. I wish I'd used a thinner fabric because this felted coat wool was a bit tough to sew through, and didn't want to bend into a rounded caterpillar shape.

I'm quite happy with it, it turned out so cute! It's a bit bigger than a real one.

[jacksghey]

I need everyone to know that the ship Götheborg, the world's largest ocean-going wooden sailing ship, answered a distress call the other day.

Imagine waiting for the coast guard or whatever to show up and instead a replica of 18th century merchant ship pulls up and tows you to the coast.

[jacksghey]

Losing my mind at the sheer BDE this royal mistress exuded

[jacksghey]

The divine right of kings but it's a curse

[jacksghey]

I don't remember where I got the inspiration for this. Might've been from a movie or someone just saying, "Make a Gold Beetle!" But here it is! For all your DnD magic item needs!

The Golden BeetleWondrous Item, very rare

“A realistically carved beetle the size of a human fist that is made of stone. There are cracks within the stone that show small veins of gold below it. Under the right circumstances the stone breaks away revealing a brilliant, golden carapace.”

At the start of each day roll a d20 and on a roll of a 1-15 this magical item is a beetle carved of stone roughly the size of a human hand. When activated using the command word it can serve as a familiar.

The beetle acts independently of you, but it always obeys your commands. In combat, it rolls its own initiative and acts on its own turn. A familiar can't attack, but it can take other actions as normal.

The beetle has an AC of 10, 20 hit points and is resistant to all damage. When it is reduced to 0 hit points it drops to the ground and must be retrieved. It returns to normal after completing a long rest.

While the beetle is within 100 feet of you, you can communicate with it telepathically. Additionally, as an action, you can see through its eyes and hear what it hears until the start of your next turn. During this time, you are deaf and blind with regard to your own senses.

On a roll of 16-20 the beetle sheds away the stone skin revealing a glittering carapace of gold. The golden form of this magical item gives additional benefits as well as serving as a familiar.

While in its golden beetle form, if you or an ally you can see within 30 feet roll less than 11 on the dice for a skill check, you can add a +10 bonus to the result. You can do this a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus. You regain expended uses whenever the beetle takes on its golden form.

When a creature you can see within 60 feet is hit with a critical hit you can use a reaction to instead cause the attack to be a miss. Doing so causes the golden beetle to revert to its regular form.

Join us on Twitch every Mon\Wed\Fri to create new Homebrew and check out our Patreon for 420+ magic items, tokens, maps and more.

[jacksghey]

what’s funniest about the pacific rim scientists is like. when newt geiszler says he’s a scientist he means an old-timey 1910s entomologist wearing khaki shorts and a comically oversized pair of binoculars traipsing through the jungle capturing endangered species of butterfly and murmuring “egads!! fascinating…..” and scribbling it in his journal. when hermann gottlieb is being a scientist it’s literally the fucking manhattan project. tortured chainsmoking physicist. pawn of a war. repressed homosexual all his life. gets executed for being a communist. And they have to do each other’s peer review

[jacksghey]

Types of brain fog:

Brain is primordial sludge & you are drowning in it

U are a ghost and nothing is real

Mental equivalent of attempting to stream some high-res video game when all you have is dial-up

The thing you want to articulate is *right there* but you're just scrabbling at it like a cat continually failing to catch the bird on the other side of the window

The Void