jaimcvay-blog

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Don't give up. It'll be OK.

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An all new Dawson McAllister Live is coming your way and phone lines are NOW OPEN!!! Give us a call and let's talk about what's happening in your life - 1.800.394.4673. Find a station carrying #DMLive at dawson247.com (link in bio). It's all about getting help and offering hope. That's what Dawson McAllister Live is all about!! #GetHelp #ShareHope #LiveOnAir #instaradio #instagood

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Who ya talkin' to?! #instagood #beagle #jackabee #friday #moodygrams #mood

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...or don't. It's your call, really. I'll be here posting, regardless. Have a stellar day! #makegoodchoices #instagram

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Surround yourself with people who will lift you up, people who want to lift you up, not tear you down... And, be that same kind of support for the people in your life. #HappyFriday

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Grieving Isn’t One Size Fits All

Dealing with the loss of a loved one can be extremely hard and you may feel like no one understands what you’re going through because everyone deals with it differently, and each relationship is different as well. Grieving isn’t one size fits all. You may have lost your grandmother; but your dad and two aunts lost their mom, your grandfather lost his wife, and that woman that has no relation to you but you call aunt anyway just lost her best friend. Each and every one of you are grieving in different ways, but hurting just the same.

I come from a big family and have lost many relatives over my life, but I’ll never forget “that morning.” When my mom called to tell me one of my uncles passed from a massive heart attack, it was like a tone of bricks hit my chest, all the oxygen cleared out of the room, and time just stopped. Though it was hard to deal with, things did get better and that heart wrenching pain of feeling like you can’t breathe does pass. You will laugh again, and it’s OK when you do. At my Uncle’s funeral there were even some giggles and heartfelt laughs and dancing (country music was playing because that’s the way he was).

He would have wanted more smiles than tears.

Myths and Facts about Grief

MYTH: The pain will go away faster if you ignore it.

Fact: Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it.

MYTH: It’s important to “be strong” in the face of loss.

Fact: Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. You don’t need to “prtect” your family or friends by putting on a brave front. Showing your true feeling can help them and you.

MYTH: If you don’t cry, it means you aren’t sorry about the loss.

Fact: Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one. Those who don’t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it.

MYTH: Grief should last about a year.

Fact: There is no right or wrong time frame for grieving. How long it takes can differ from person to person. *Source: Center for Grief and Healing

Five years later, I still think of him often and happily; but every year, on that one day, I can’t help but reminisce on the good times, as well as how hard that day was. It’s important to move forward and keep your head up and know that it is possible. I will always love him and carry him in my heart (as I do with all my family members that have passed). I know how much he loved me and I take comfort in the fact that he knew how much I adored him as well. Believe me, they know. They always know. Even if the last thing you said to them wasn’t “I love you”, they still know. This pain you’re feeling won’t last forever, but I would be lying if I said it would never hurt again. It will, and that’s ok.

There’s nothing wrong with shedding a tear every now and then, as long as you remember to fill your heart with love and not anger for them not being here anymore. Do not dwell in the pain. Feel it, acknowledge it, then move on. And remember that just because they can’t talk back, doesn’t mean they’re not listening when you talk to them.

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog, and be sure to share it with your friends who may be struggling with the loss of a loved one.

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Fairy Princesses were all the rage in the 90's!!! I'm not sure what's worse: #grannyglasses or#sockswithheels 😂 #tbt #throwbackthursday #instagold

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Drive Safe...Put The Phone Down

Let’s stop and think about something for a moment – a distracted driver is just as deadly as a drunk driver. True story. You may think you can multi-task your life from behind the wheel, but you’re not in control of those you’re sharing the road with. If you’re more concerned about what’s happening on your phone than what’s happening on the road around you, how do you expect to be able to react safely to the other distracted, drunk, or just plain “bad” drivers on the road? First thing’s first…YES, you are important and people are waiting to read what you have to say. You have texts to respond to, emails to read, brilliance to tweet, Facebook stalking to do, and your Instagram and Snapchat followers are waiting….but, PUT. THE. PHONE. DOWN. There is nothing on that phone that will help you drive better or react to another bad driver or obstacle on the road. Keep your phone put away, even out of sight, until you’ve reached a stopping point and your car is safely shifted into park. I’ve actually witnessed, on multiple occasions, a driver stopped at a red light messing with their phone only to not realize their foot has slightly lifted off the breaks….causing their car (that they don’t even realize is now moving) to hit the car in front of them. MULTIPLE TIMES I’ve witnessed this! If the temptation to play with your phone is too great, silence your phone. If you don’t hear pings, dings, and dongs with every notification that comes in, you won’t be tempted to reach for your phone to see what’s going on. Whatever comes through on your phone will still be there when your car is safely shifted into Park. If you have someone else in the car, designate them to be your text and responder. You’ll keep your eyes on the road, and not suffer from the fear of missing out. If you’re a passenger in the car of a distracted driver, take their phone and offer to respond to anything that comes in. Friends don’t let friends text and drive. There are also Apps you can download to your phone that will let others know you are currently driving and cannot respond at the moment. Some apps lock your phone when you reach a certain speed, making it impossible to tinker with until you’ve stopped. I truly believe your friends and family love you, cherish you, and care about your safety and wellbeing enough to prefer you respond when it’s safe…instead of learning you never made it to your destination because you were busy playing with your phone. It doesn’t end with texting and driving, though. All types of distracted driving is dangerous. Did you know that even reaching for your phone to plug it into a charger is just as dangerous? My cousin's husband learned this the hard way. He drove a truck for a company and would never even think of playing with his phone while he was driving for work. Except for that one time he noticed his phone’s battery was almost dead, so he went to plug it in. As he reached for the charger, and looked down “just for a second” to plug his phone in, his truck veered off the road. He over-corrected, sending him across 4 lanes and into oncoming traffic….killing a college freshman who was on her way home for a quick weekend visit. Drive safe. Put the damn phone down.