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jak-milo · 6 months ago

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Hey, me again!

I totally agree with everything you said. The show does talk about very serious topics, even if all of it is then excuse and red conned to soccer- and I do agree that it's a bit too much, sometimes. You're so right mentionning the war plot line, but also, can we talk about it's not even just soccer

It's JUNIOR soccer

Isn't there any adult team who could fight against aliens instead of kids?

But to come back to Kidou and Kageyama, yes, I 100% agree with everything you said. It's a deeply unhealthy co dependent relationship, and while Kidou obviously can not be held accountable for this, he's a child, Kageyama is an adult and to me cannot be excused for anything he did. I'm always struck by how obsessive he is with Kidou, to such a level it's actually creepy, even if the show often brush over it because ~soccer~. Like, he literally tried to RECREATE him through another child! Keeps calling him his "greatest creation", and begging him to come back to him! If all of it was not a subplot to reinforce the message of the power of friendship, it would be actually frightening. Imagine a grown ass man being so obsess with a boy that he keeps trying to recreate him. Imagine playing the sport you're so passionnated about with a carbon copy of yourself on the field, except it's the version of yourself in the darkest moments of your life. Horrifying.

And Kidou is utterly terrified of him, once he's out of Teikoku- actually, he already was terrified by Kageyama at the very beginning of the show. I remember him covering away, clutching his old magazine against him, trying to back of from his poor excuse of a coach. And once he's out, damn, if the show was actually aimed at more mature audience- what we see already strongly reminds me of PTSD, you know, when he keeps seeing Kageyama everywhere, looking, following and talking to him, and how it completely wrecks his usual reasonnable mindset. It's brushed over too quickly, once again, and it's so obvious he's not at all over that terrible relation he has with this man

And of course Kageyama dies before he gets to fully sort it out, and all Kidou has left is this leftover of fear, mixed with the impression of still owning that awful man everything. It's heartbreaking to me that we see him keep the glasses, like he's forever keeping with him part of Kageyama, and never, therefore, truly shaking his hold off of himself. We never get to see the aftermath, of course, because ina11 is not about that, but dang it's a shame.

I would absolutely love to hear every thoughts you have about Kidou, too!! Like, your headcanons, for example? The plot points you're most interested in? I'm taking anything, really, as I'm joining you in the autistic hyperfixation, ahah

first of all i wanna say i am absolutely astonished at the fact that i finally found someone that i 100% agree on every single point of view regarding kidou and that someone is you. congratulations we are brain twins

second, the ask is already long (WHICH I GREATLY APPRECIATE, SERIOUSLY), so just click on read more to see my reply (its to not clog people's feeds!)

KEEP IN MIND WHAT YOURE ABOUT TO READ IS 90% PERSONAL HEADCANON. i do try to link it to canon as much as possible tho.

well, from all what you said i have not much more to add because, again, its a carbon copy of my kidou interp. actually insane. im very happy! except maybe for the last part but I'll leave it for later

im just gonna talk about my 😁😁 my son whom i love!!! in a general way

first of all getting out of the way the basics if you ever see me use they/them for kidou is because my headcanon is nonbinary (he/they/xe, but for simplicity I'll mostly use he in this). second of all, hondureño, bio parents moved to japan for permanent business. 5'3, short king, possibly underweight but fit enough to play and not get exhausted. autistic and schizophrenic. thats the basics for headcanons

heres the not so basics!!!!

kidou yuuto is an extremely complex character and hes only 13. being a complex character and a teen is already a burden. why are you having the mental capacities and developements of an adult bro you should be? watching adventure time and going to bed before 10 pm get SERIOUS. and its because i genuinely believe kidou "matured" way quicker than most his friends (gouenji also has this issue, but less exaggerated). this is for two reasons. one is a personal headcanon and its simply me thinking puberty hit him early-ish 😅. the second one is EVERY single figure of authority in his life has expected things from him that a preteen shouldn't even know about. his step father's insistancy for perfection (might talk more abt that later) and a need for kidou to HURRY AND GROW UP so he can be successful. and of course, the man himself kageyama treating kidou as if he was a completely independent adult for more than one or two reasons... this cycle would kinda stop when he joins raimon. the coaches, both hitomiko and kudou, are strict with him, but thats because theyre GOOD at their job. they can tell between a kid and an grown ass man. i said the cycle would stop, but not break. kidou has already been used to be seen as the grown up of the team of sorts. he's the...the clever one. the one that directs the teammates, that strategises every move. the one in charge, the big man. indirectly and accidentally, his teammates influence this perception of him further. if you notice kidou has a wayy more formal way of talking. the only thing he's more childish in is when he's getting petty revenge (more clearly shown in orion), or..when he's with endou.

endou is probably one of the many keys to kidou's healing and the comfort of sorrows in the series. not completely, of course. but they see this other kid, a ray of sunshine that no matter how bad things get, he never gives up, he always offers a smile, even to his enemies. despite being the same age, endou becomes a role model of sorts for kidou. at first is more some kind of blinding jealousy. ' how come he can be so satisfied with life? why is he okay even when he loses? how is he happy being this imperfect? kidou can't grasp the idea of having a literal polar opposite being their friend, but eventually accepts it. endou offers a light in kidou's life that they have never seen before, and it's so warm and it feels so nice, it's natural kidou would stay with endou even in adulthood. he brings comfort. he picks kidou up when they can't bring themself to get back up. he makes them believe in a newfound sense of community with the team, and an enjoyment that only 13 year olds could have. so kidou can relax more when he's around with endou, or hell, with a good part of the raimon team as a whole.

now, if you go back to the first parragraph, notice how i put mature in quotations. and that's because kidou hasn't ACTUALLY matured at all. he was forcefully shoved into this role of responsibility with no way out, and believed it to be simply that his genius was far beyond the rest. when he's probably average, excluding him probably being high capacities. here's another headcanon that when he reaches 15-16 years old he has one of the biggest burnouts in the history of gifted burnouts. but in the end its not..true. he is not mature, he is hurt, and his best defense is act all "grown up" about it.

aghhh ok theres ONE topic about him. im squishing my brain trying to come up with more in a more or less chronological order......

ok. if i may jab a bit at his friendships, specially regarding the whole thing with shin teikoku in season 2. this small(ish) segment is about the dependency kidou has on his friends. setting aside endou, since i already covered him, im focusing specifically on sakuma and genda. i'll dabble in a bit of fudou too because his dynamic with kidou is a wonder.

mainly the dependancy in question comes from the fact that they all went through the same shit, except kidou suffered it in greater numbers, but still, same issue : some 50 year old guy thinks he can train/manipulate children into killing people via soccer. i am Not exaggerating this i love pointing out always that kageyama actively attempted infanticide (polite reminder. inazuma eleven is STILL a family friendly shonen despite this). so, when confornted with their friends as shin teikoku, kidou can't help but. see himself. that could've been me. that SHOULD'VE been me. remember how he's claiming the guilt for losing against zeus? which is also the reason (kindaaa fudou pulled strings) why sakuma and genda (and some others) decided to accept the alius stone, and brainwashed as they were, took sides with kageyama once again. kidou takes the ENTIRE blame for this thing happening, he even tries to push endou out of it because this is a..teikoku only issue. kidou finds it that his friends were basically the pillar of his crumbling mental state when they were all back at teikoku. he relied on them to perform well in matches so that then he wouldn't be charged with being a bad captain in case something went wrong. and let's be honest here, kidou probably couldn't do a lot of things outside of football without the guidance of his two friends. we also gotta consider, when shin teikoku is happening, genda and sakuma are feeling huuuuge amounts of jealousy towards kidou for being "perfect". the image kidou carefully crafted so that his friends wouldn't be TOO worried about him worked more than better, but at what cost. small summary for this point since its a bit all over the place is. kidou is reliant on his friends, both in soccer and personal life. it causes his friends to worry too much over him and slightly picture him as the centre of attention, which kidou accepts because for him it's the only way which he can mantain the friendship. ooooof course this gets better overtime. im not trying to say his friendship with these two is fake, not at all 🤒 quite the opposite, its just that when you get 3 teens that went thru similar trauma and never heal from it and one keeps dragging the other 2 down subconsciously. well. it needs some fixing.

then comes fudou, and he manages to reverse a gear in kidou's brain, because fudou is BOLD and Direct. and he puts kidou in his place in his own distasteful way, but it works. he also drags along sakuma and genda with him. fudou is like some kind of ' back to reality ' tool. they work together pretty well, unlike with sakuma and genda which is a constant of ' ok i support you and you support me and we support each other and we balance this tower of support so it doesnt topple over except it does, eventually '. with fudou, he grounds kidou, and kidou lifts fudou up. at least thats how i see it.

to not make this post too long I'll cover only one last topic. i think its time we enter kageyama territory.

BOY you dont know how much i could talk about these two. I'll start by saying DID ANYONE ELSE NOTICE HOW BARELY ANYONE CARES ABOUT THE LIOCOTT ISLAND ARC??? WHERE HE JUST. FINDS OUT KAGEYAMA IS FREE AND IN THE ISLAND AND HE GOES CRAZY. BECAUSE I THINK THIS IS THE FOCAL POINT OF EVERYTHING at least prior to the match against italy (bullshit episode. because of kidou's subplot. the match was fucking awesome)

i dont see this talked about enough. about kidou feeling GENUINE TERROR at the idea of seeing that man again. and kidou worrying more about what might happen to his friends and teammates MORE THAN WHAT KAGEYAMA COULD DO TO HIM. and then fucking demonio astrada shows up and its like???!?!?!?? his whole. fucking. world crumbles away because suddenly he, HE THE PERFECT CREATION IS REPLACEABLE.

OKAY IM GONNA USE ALL CAPS NOW BECAUSE I FEEL SO STRONGLY ABOUT THIS AND IM GONNA USE PRETTY BLUNT WORDS. KAGEYAMA HAS SUCCESSFULLY MADE A HOLLOW OUT OF KIDOU, SO SO SO EASY TO MANIPULATE ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY. HE MANAGES TO MAKE KIDOU THINK THAT THEY WEREN'T ALL THAT IMPORTANT FOR HIM, EVEN AFTER TAKING THEM IN SINCE AGE 8, EVEN AFTER ACTING AS AN ACTUAL PARENT BECAUSE DID YOU KNOW KIDOU'S STEP FATHER ASKED KAGEYAMA TO RAISE THEM??? DID YOU KNOW KIDOU WAS RAISED BY THEIR GROOMER??????? AND DID YOU KNOW KIDOU DEVELOPED AN ATTACHMENT TO KAGEYAMA BECAUSE HE WAS THE ONLY ROLE MODEL THEY COULD LOOK UP TO? BECAUSE HE DID ACTUALLY TEACH THEM EVERYTHING? BECAUSE EVERY EVERYYYY SINGLE ASPECT OF KIDOU'S LIFE HAS BEEN TOUCHED BY KAGEYAMA THERE IS NO TRACE OF KIDOU!!!! THERE'S NO KIDOU!!! IT'S JUST THE VERSION OF KIDOU THAT KAGEYAMA WANTED TO SEE.

...............and that's why i think the whole thing of post-italy match happens so quickly. kageyama suddenly revealing he loves soccer and is actually decent? my ass. yes he does love soccer. yes this hatred and impulsiveness roots from his hatred towards his father. NO, it does NOT justify the acts. it does not justify what kidou went through, only because some GUY couldn't PULL HIS SHIT TOGETHER AND WORK ON HIS DADDY ISSUES

did you notice kageyama projects HEAVILYYY on kidou??? the mentality. ' if i suffered then so he will ' because he sees his younger self in kidou. he also saw it in fideo but he didn't have enough time to groom him before he got killed in an accident ROFL🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

but yeah.

kidou. forgives kageyama. because what Else can he do? what else could he possibly do? kidou mourns kageyama because who else does he have? he feels lost. he doesn't realise how much pain he's been through, he keeps giving kageyama chance after chance after chance and all kageyama does is break him further and further. and now he's showing a good side. over some italian kid that he met 3 days ago. what did fideo did that kidou didn't? what else can kidou do at that point except. forgiving and forgetting.

so yeah. period.

now, i dont like assuming, but i get the feeling you havent seen inazuma eleven GO? if you have then good, I'll just briefly mention this. spoiler free except for the fact that. drumroll. kageyama is back!!!!! and he's um. normaler? he's not trying to manipulate or kill kids. kinda. he does financially coerce them BUT ANYWAYS.

yes, 10 years later kageyama returns and kidou. Knows that. and he's an adult now, so he can actually be...calm about it. but it just makes you wonder. how does it actually make him feel? knowing it was all left unresolved. knowing kidou didn't have the means to heal or even Realise most of the wrong stuff. did he realise? does he resent kageyama? his thoughts on this in GO are a mysery for me to be honest. i simply assume he's slowly working on getting better.

2 more things. 1. im not gonna talk about aries. its kinda the same shit except kidou isnt there AND THANK GOD. GET AWAY FROM THEM. GET A JOB.

2. you might find it positive that kidou Does eventually shed his goggles. his sister gifts him a different pair. which brings us to our last topic. what does haruna know about all this?

i honestly dont think haruna is even half aware of what Exactly kidou went through. she knows the basics...that he was. bad. and hurt kids. but thats about it. she doesn't know the magnitude in which this man has affected her brother. and we know kidou isn't the most talkative about it. she just...feels that something is wrong. that her brother is different from any other older brothers other people have. and she takes it upon herself to make sure he's ok, even if she doesn't know exactly what she's fighting against.

THATS ALL. THATS ALL!!!! IM DONE. gosh what a ride. 1:20 hours of typing!!!! im also sleep deprived so sorry if some of this doesnt make sense. bleehhhhh thank you for letting me talk about kidou yuuto 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

#AAAAAH #YESS #AM I DREAMING IS THIS A DREAM #THE WHOLE ESSEY ON KIDOU MY BELOVED #THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU #PLS #can I join you both in hiperfixation💀😭😭🙏#it's beautiful #i love tumblr lol

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jak-milo · 6 months ago

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Okay, so I finally decided it bc the intrusive ideas don’t let me think straight; this post is based on @jak-milo amazing musical analysis post, go read it bc its beautiful.

As I said before: if there are four Sonic songs that fit Gouenji as Ishido those are “Rhythm and balance”, “For true story”, “Live and learn” and “I am all of me”. In this post I will be analyzing how the two first can adapt to IEGO context.

Well, “Rhythm and balance” first. This song, as well as the rest of the others except “I am all of me” can be found in Sonic Adventure 2. This song starts to play in the dark story, specifically when Shadow is going to rescue Rouge after knowing she got trapped while stealing the master emeralds from Prision Island and starts releating this to the same situation Maria was when she got killed (utterly defensless). With all the trauma he goes to rescue her and this song reflects a full PSDT attack and determination to not let that happen again, revealing that maybe Shadow isn’t a villain.

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So, how can this relate to a former soccer player that turned into a monster for the greater good? Let’s see:

“Oh yeah, hurry to the unexplored land”: Part of him is taunting and pushing him to go further and deeper into the madness that is Fifth Sector

“Don't mind the steep slopes or any obstacles”: Gouenji’s inner voice trying to be ready for that madness. He’s really trying to be mentally prepared and us pretending it’s nothing for him, that it doesn’t hurt and it would never scare him. The reality is that he’s in a vast pain and knows perfectly what will happen if his cover blows up or the plan doesn’t work, and he can’t help but feel terrified about the consequences

“Oh yeah, hurry to the unexplored land. I'm not scared at all”: He is either overthinking or having an argument with his fears and doubts, trying to override them as he keeps going with his mission. He can’t stop and won’t stop, what he thinks or feels doesn’t matter when the future of soccer and the kids depends on the success of the mission

“Are you scared of something?”: His fears and guilts trying to make him not go deeper. Part of him wants it to be over and rest, but he knows that if he stops or gets caught is game over

“Oh yeah, hurry to the unexplored land. I don't mind any walls or any obstacles”: Trying to focus on avoiding the eyes of Fifth Sector members, specially Daigo’s eyes. Be as stealthy and sneaky as he can be and strike fast if necessary, he can’t give into the privilege of feeling fears and guilts now even if they are eating him alive

“Oh yeah, hurry to the unexplored land. I'm not scared at all”: I don’t have to elaborate

“I don't wanna hear you”: In this case its him telling his survival instinct and horror to shut up and let him focus on the job, he knows he has to go deeper if he wants to know exactly what Fifth Sector and Daigo had planned if he wants to either sabotage them, win time for the revolution to work out or help anyone that would be affected by that.

“Shadow, don't make me upset”: Replace the Shadow with Gouenji, then you hear Endou’s voice. His guilt adopted the form of Endou because he knows he has hurted and betrayed everyone, his best friends included even if its for the greater good

“I don't wanna hear you”: After imagining what Endou would think about his actions he tries to refocus and tells him to shut up. He knows Endou will be dissapointed by his choices, but even if he wants to see him again the mission is more important than them.

“You are frightened of something”: his rational and more calculating side sounds like Kidou’s voice. It doesn’t matter how much he tries to cover and fight, he’s not okay, everything inside him knows it and he can’t lie. This rational side is either taunting a little or just spitting a well known fact: he sacrificed everything and even became a demon in the eyes of everyone just because he wanted to help, but at the end he’s deeply afraid and hurted of tormenting more and more people, of getting caught or even stay trapped in a position he hates for the rest of his life. If he could express it he would probably give up and his rational side knows it

———————

And now, what about “For true story?” Well, for a song sompossed by only three lines that repeat themselves, in the context of the SA2 game this reflects Shadow’s cynism with life while he’s battling against Sonic. For this I think the song fits perfectly in the IEGO context of ideals, in this case reflecting the cynic reallity of Gouenji/Ishido against Endou’s more hopeful, brighter reallity.

After all, at the end of the day the reallity is that it doesn’t matter how hard someone would try to ignore it or point out that Gouenji was wrong about his choices (or even try to put all the blame on him), the revolution NEEDED someone to make the dirty job and help them from inside the enemy’s ranks. And Gouenji was the person that could fit in the role, even if he had to pay the price and put his life on the line:

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“Stars don't twinkle, the moon doesn't shine. Birds don't sing, the wind doesn't blow”: Gouenji, despite what honosuto shows us and how kind-hearted he is, is still a very logic and rational person; negating that stars twinkle, moon shines, birds sing or wind blows would show the cynism and painful reality that he has to live everyday since he became Ishido. Negating the perspective we have about this phenomena and seeing them with the cientifically, cold reality can also reflect the clash of both ideals and ways to feel the pain against Endou.

Endou is realistic too, but at the same time he’s still a very cheerful, positive and fair person to the point some view him as naive and delusional; he couldn’t hurt anyone like other IE villains, neither join Fifth Sector. Gouenji, on the other side, is passional about the sport he loves or the people he cares about, but as said, rational too. Gouenji knew that Fifth Sector wasn’t going to fall down without anyone that could do the dirty job and he was the one that decided to give up everything and put his life on the line.

In one way or another it can be affirmed that Endou was a little naive to think that the revolution could work out by only winning matches and make schools join them. Gouenji knew a reality that hurted him deeply, turning him into a more or less cynic person after having to commit atrocity after atrocity just to keep the plan moving

“To the pure body, to the perfect existence”: The first part of this can reflect Endou’s physical power as shown in the movie and the capacity to train a bunch of kids to keep the revolution alive. The second part reflects the “Ishido” mask as this untochable, unwavering figure of power

“I'm shivering with cold, I struggle against despair”: This is simply a reflection of Gouenji’s tragic state, expressing the pain and loneliness he had faced for years since he became part of Fifth Sector

#UGHHaodnagshj noo gouenji...😭#but ur so rightt

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