jimmyzare0

[jimmyzare0]

Sometimes I can’t fucking speak. I feel retarded and fucking slow. I want to say fucking everything but my mouth won’t move. Fucking tragic.

[jimmyzare0]

I can fucking feel my decline and it’s insufferable.

[jimmyzare0]

Having hallucinations and having aphantasia or whatever the fuck is weird because I don’t always see them but I *see* them. I see it in the back of my mind but it makes its way to the front of my eyes? It’s like visual snow where it’s not that visible but you know it’s there. When I was younger it used to be so much more prominent and in my face. Now it just causes me panic every time I see shit. Now when I hear shit that’s annoying and catches me off guard. I’ll hear my wife speaking to me but her mouth isn’t moving. I’ll hear the same loud crash on loop getting louder. I’ll hear whispers or convos between two people who are not alters. I’ll hear talking and whispering in other rooms. I’ll hear bitches calling my name. I’ll hear all types of shit. In my brain I’ll feel it. I’ll feel crosshatching patterns or the lattice pattern. Sometimes they’re stagnant. Other times they’re moving or breathing. And then I’ll see things moving and breathing at me. Or when I look at objects it looks as if something is trying to come out of the object but in real life it’s not moving. But yeah anyways. Rant about my possible schizophrenia.

[jimmyzare0]

What if I took your old ass by the fucking pajamas and chucked you out of the window two stories down. Would you still be fucking complaining.