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jocksfarting · 2 months ago

Text

Smell of nasty

I love my boyfriend of five years, Nate. He’s six-foot-four, 185 pounds of rock-hard muscle, and has an infamously fat ass. Each of his protruding, spherical cheeks is bigger than my head and jiggles with his every step.

Nate is known as Nasty Nate to me and his friends because his favorite pastime is farting in people’s faces. Me and his friends are his constant victims. Usually, when he farts on someone, he announces something like, ‘I’m about to get Nasty.’

Nate is the gassiest person I’ve ever met. He always has to fart.

Whenever Nate farts on his friends, it’s for fun and laughs. But it’s different for me, especially when we are alone. I have a farting fetish and Nate knows.

Over the past two years, things have radically changed in our household finances. We used to split the bills 50/50. Unfortunately, Nate lost his job a few years ago. He’s now working remotely from home, freelancing, barely making ¼ of what he used to. I, on the other hand, have received multiple promotions. My salary has tripled. I handle all the bills with ease.

Nate is very proud, so at first, things were a little tense. Nate wanted to contribute somehow. That’s when Nate put out an offer, “Well, I can’t contribute much money, but perhaps I can offer a different type of support.”

In the end, I loved the arrangement.

I’m sitting on the couch, watching TV. I just finished a bowl of cereal. It’s Saturday morning, and my day off.

Nate pops out. He stepped in front of me, blocked the TV, and his back faced me. He’s in his normal house attire. Shirtless, showing off his sculpted abs and pecs, and a pair of black boxer briefs.

Nate’s dump-truck of an ass is stretching the back of his briefs to their limit. Those two basketball-sized globes are giving his briefs a run for their money. And they are inches away from my face.

Nate leans forward, jutting his briefs-clad mounds right in front of my nose.

“GGH… I’m about to get Nasty… HGH”

BBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPTTTTTTTT

Nate rips a 5 second fart pointblank in my face. My nose is instantly assaulted by the stench of rotten eggs and onions. It has me gagging and my eyes watering, and I love it.

Nate yanks down the back of his briefs, just beneath his ass. I can’t take my eyes off the sight of his doughy, hair-dusted cakes pouring out of their confines and bouncing enticingly in front of my face.

Nate reaches back and grabs each of my wrists with both of his hands. “Nasty Nate’s about to get real Nasty.”

Nate pulls my arms, making me slide forward, lodging my face in his bubbly butt.

My face is swallowed between his sweaty, pillowy moons, making my head feel like it’s caught in a vice grip.

The tip of my nose feels his pucker open and push outward.

RRRRRRWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTT

MMMMMMMBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFFFF

VVVVVVVVVHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPP

Nate pushes out one trumpeting fart after another right up my nose. His noxious vapors poison my lungs; they feel like they’re on fire.

Out of self-preservation, I try to pull away. Nate pulls harder on my arms. My attempted escape forced my face to sink deeper into Nate’s musky, sweaty canyon.

“Nu-uh, there’s no escaping this Nasty storm… FGH”

PPPPPPPUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMDDDDDDDD

RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLTTTTTTTTT

DDDDDDDWWWWWWWUUUUUUBBBBBBBB

Nate unleashes another barrage of bassy farts up my nose. The stench is unholy and boner inducing.

Nate lets go of my wrists. It’s muffled, but I hear him grunting and straining. “Nasty enough for ya?... UGH”

FFFFFFFFFFWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTT

A 15 second fart explodes out of his hole. It has enough power to rocket my face out of his big ass. I fall onto the couch, coughing and gagging, desperate for cool, semi-fresh air.

Nate flashes a devilish smirk down at me over his shoulder.

Nate pulls the back of his briefs up with a small jump. He accompanies the jump with an airy poot aimed at my face.

PPPHHHBBBTTT

“Add all that Nasty to my monthly contribution.” Nate teases before walking away like nothing ever happened.

I’m left coughing and gagging with a hard-on.

Things like this are how Nate contributes to the household. Nate contributes to my happiness, embracing and enabling my farting fetish.

Nate’s farting antics are always unpredictable. I never know when it’s coming.

A few minutes later, I’m in the bathroom, brushing my teeth. Nate joins me, turning on the shower.

As I brush my teeth, I watch Nate drop his shorts in the mirror. My eyes dart to his long, rubbery schlong, his hairy, grapefruit-sized bull balls, and his fat, mountainous ass-slabs.

Nate’s eyes connect with mine in the reflection. I can see the smugness in his expression.

Nate twists his hips, pressing his bare ass against my lower back.

He cocks his right leg slightly, “Take my Nasty.”

BBBBBWWWWWW-UUUUUUPPPPPPP

He rips two consecutive farts on me. Nate’s emissions are no joke, in a moment I’m enveloped in a toxic fart cloud.

I nearly swallow my toothpaste, trying to stifle my moan.

Nate chuckles at how he rattled me. He steps into the shower, pulling the curtains closed behind him.

After gargling with mouthwash and spitting it out, Nate calls from the shower, “Hey Ollie, come over here, I gotta Nasty surprise for ya.”

I step in front of the shower. Nate pulls open the curtain a little, making a small gap. The next second, his damp, fleshy, twin moons come sticking out.

I fall to my knees, getting a front row seat to his bare rump.

Nate reaches back with a hand, spreading open his cheeks, exposing his winking hole surrounded by a forest of black, wet hairs.

“Hey babe, did you ever think something clean could be so Nasty?”

PPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTstststststststsss

Nate skunks my face with a wet fart. My face is spritzed with droplets of ass water. The steamy, hot air amplifies the odor of his sulfuric fumes.

I go to stand up, but Nate stops me. He grabs me by the back of the head with his free hand, holding my face in front of his spread crack.

“Not so fast, you're in for some more of my Nasty.”

FFFFFFFFFFHHHHHHHHHHtststststststsss

Nate wetly farts in my face again. Drenching my face with more of his ass water. And his fart is powerful enough to blow my hair back.

I breathe in his intestinal vapors, savoring them with closed eyes.

My eyes open when I hear Nate chuckle. Nate lets his cheeks close with a wet clap. Ever the tease and prick, Nate gives his hips a hard rock, clocking the side of my face with his big, pillowy mounds.

“You're welcome.” Nate teases as his ass disappears back behind the curtain.

I walk out of the bathroom, boner leading the way.

Later, I find Nate lying on his stomach, on the couch, working on his laptop. Still only wearing black boxer-briefs, his hillside ass-slabs protrude a foot into the air.

Nate notices me in the entry way, with all my focus zoning in on his big ass, hungrily.

He shoots me a sexy little grin. He reaches back and slaps his bulbous backside, making his mountainous orbs jiggle like jello molds.

“Want to relax with me on the couch while I get some work done? You can use your favorite pillow.” Nate sing-songs as he sways his hips, making his fleshy mounds wobble from side to side.

I don’t have to be asked twice. I climb in between his legs on the couch and lie down, resting my face against his voluptuous ass.

The tip of my nose pokes the warm seam of the back of his briefs, which is being cradled between his thick cheeks. Just above where his pucker is hidden.

The warm seam against my nose heats up. A sulfuric stench flows up my nostrils. I immediately realize he just launched a SBD fart pointblank up my nose.

“Ah, yeah, choke on my Nasty.” He sighs in relief.

I press my nose harder against his seam, digging it deeper between his globes.

“Oh, what’s this? You want more of my Nasty. Then you got it.”

RRRRRRRRRRBBBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLTTTTTTTTT

A long, rumbly fart growls out, blasting my face with his eggy fumes.

His fart has a real kick. I turn my head, gagging on his butt stink.

Nate takes this as me attempting to get away. “Oh no, you don’t.” His meaty thighs clamp around my head, trapping me in a reverse headscissors, keeping my face locked against his pillowy bum.

“There’s no escaping this, I’m about to get real Nasty… NGH”

FFFFFFFFFFFDDDDDDDDDDVVVVVVVVVVBBBBBBBB

RRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMM

PPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRR

Nate rockets a chain of monstrous farts, lighting my face up. My moaning and coughing are being muffled by his fat, briefs-covered cakes.

Nate relaxes his headscissor hold slightly to pull down the back of his briefs. He has to shimmy to work them down his bubbly ass.

“Time to live up to the name, Nasty Nate.”

Nate flexes his thighs, re-engaging his reverse-headscissor hold. My face sinks into his musky canyon. His sweaty glutes flex on either side of my face, trapping me there.

I feel his wrinkled pucker kissing the tip of my nose.

VVVVVVVVVVVRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

A bubbly, 15 second fart hisses out of his hole, tainting my lungs with his hellish vapors.

Nate releases me from his headscissors. He turns his neck, looking back at me. Our eyes connect over his protruding fur-coated hillsides.

“That wasn’t as relaxing as you promised.” I snark.

Nate doesn’t retaliate verbally. He arches his back, jutting his ass into my face, and poots into my open mouth. BBHHPP

The acrid taste coats my tongue, making me gag, causing me to fall off the couch.

Nate laughs. Instead of helping me up, the prick stands over me, and squats down so his bare ass is just above my face. He grunts.

BBBBVVVVVVVPPPPPP

I’m left feeling both embarrassed and aroused.

Not too much later, it’s about lunchtime. I find Nate in the kitchen, cooking. He’s a great cook. Me, on the other hand, I can barely boil water.

I take a seat at our small, round kitchen table.

I watch Nate in his element. Music is playing as Nate cooks. His bubble butt ripples and wobbles as he dances along.

My gaze doesn’t waver a second from his hypnotically jiggling and bouncing globes. He’s hips suddenly come to a complete stop. I then watch his glutes flex and then relax.

PPPPHHHHH-UUUUUUTTTTTTT

My eyes snap upward, meeting his. A lopsided cocky grin is painted across his lips.

Nate plates two grilled cheese sandwiches and fries. Nate places one on the table across from me. He rounds the table and goes to place the other one in front of me.

At the last second, he pulls the plate back to him. Nate turns to his side and brings the plate just under his ass, eclipsing it beneath his protruding ass-hills.

I look up and find Nate smirking back down at me. His face then contorts in concentration, and he grunts.

RRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAABBBBBBB

Nate vents out a raunchy fart, seasoning my food with his noxious butt stink.

I smell the scent of the savory food mingling with the nauseating stench of his farts.

So focused on the food, I fail to notice Nate twisting his hips until the side of my face is sinking against his blubbery orbs.

Pppssshhhh

I feel his silent fart heat my cheek.

“Ah, get it while it’s hot. The Nasty Nate’s house special.”

I’m slack-jawed, aroused, and coughing on his farts. Nate sits across from me, mischief dancing in his eyes.

Nate watches with a victorious grin as I eat my fart-flavored breakfast. The aftertaste is noticeable. Never thought eating food would be a turn-on.

Nate's gassy antics continue randomly over the next couple of hours.

After using the bathroom, when I step out, Nate strikes by pinning me against the wall. He spins around, trapping me between his body and the wall. My front pressed against his back. He bears his bulbous rump against my lower stomach.

“You're just the way I like you. Trapped against my big booty. Never a better time to get Nasty… HGH”

RRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM

Nate and I are sitting beside each other on the couch, playing Madden. Nate’s a very sore loser. He lost the first game, and we’re in the middle of him losing the second one.

“I swear, Ollie,” Nate growls through clenched teeth, “I’m gonna get real Nasty on you if you don’t quit it.”

I pay him no mind.

Nate leans heavily on his right butt cheek, propping his left one into the air, aiming his crack at me. “I warned you. Now deal with my Nasty consequences.”

PPPPPPPPPOOOOOOLLLLLLLLTTTTTTTTTT

VVVVVVVVWWWWWPPPPPPPBBBBBBBBB

MMMMMMFFFFFFFDDDDDDDDRRRRRRRRR

For the rest of the game, Nate keeps bombarding me with one fart cloud after another. I can’t focus, I can’t stop gagging, and I can’t see because my eyes are watering so badly.

The huge brat, Nate, takes the victory.

To rub salt in the wound; Nate gets up and does his victory dance which is just him bouncing his bubble butt in his opponent’s face.

He incorporates an airy poot in my face with every bounce of his ample rear.

Bounce, VVVBBBTTT

Bounce, RRRWWWPPP

Bounce, FFFMMMDDD

When it starts to get late, Nate doesn’t feel like cooking, so we order a pizza.

It’s around 8. We’re lying on the couch together, Nate’s behind me, big spooning me. We’re watching some old B-level horror movie and eating pizza.

When the pizza first arrived, Nate made a show of opening the box, pulling down his briefs, and ripping a bare ass fart on the pie. All while flashing me a wicked grin.

In the end, I think he lost. I doubt he enjoys tasting his farts like I do.

As we eat, every once in a while, Nate will cup a fart and release it in front of my nose. I’ll elbow him in the gut, making him grunt and rip another fart.

It’s about 9:30. We’ve finished the pizza, and the movie is reaching its climax.

We both jump when the front door swings open. Two big bodies stagger in, nearly tripping over themselves. It’s two of Nate's older brothers, Victor and Lance. Nate is the youngest of four brothers.

They’re drunk off their asses. This isn’t the first time this has happened. About once a month, they storm into our home, rowdy and drunk, and wind up destroying our stuff.

Last month, Victor hurled Lance into our 56-inch TV, breaking it.

None of this would have happened if Nate hadn’t given them a copy of our key.

I give Nate a withering glare. He goes pale.

Nate frowns as he hops off the couch and heads towards his brothers, who are already starting to wrestle each other.

Nate may be the baby brother, but he is just as big as Victor and Lance.

Nate claps his hands, gaining their attention. “Alright, you two. You guys are gonna head to the guest bedroom and sleep this off. You’re not gonna destroy any of our shit this time.”

His two brothers barely listen to him for a second before they start locking arms, wrestling again.

Nate nods, “It seems you guys thought I was asking, well, you were wrong.”

Nate tackles them, taking all three of them down to the ground with a heavy thud. Nate climbs over them and wraps his thighs around both their heads at once, trapping them in a double headscissor.

His brothers are struggling and trying to buck him off, but Nate isn’t letting their faces get away from his briefs-clad taint.

“Nu-uh, you two thought you could cause trouble in my house. I think some brotherly bonding with Nasty Nate’s booty is just what you two deserve.”

“Oh” FART “Ah” FART “That felt good” FART “Hah, that was a wet one” FART “Stop struggling, there’s no escaping my Nasty lock” FART “Just succumb to my Nastiness and let it send you to dreamland” FART “You’ve got no choice”

FFFFAAAARRRRTTTT

Nate goes on a farting rampage while keeping his drunk brothers locked in a head scissors. The sight is both satisfying and hot.

With every fart he rips in their faces, their struggling becomes weaker and weaker. Soon they both stop moving, both knocked out by Nate’s farts.

Nate unbinds his legs, letting his brothers remain unconscious on the floor.

He stands up, his grin broadens when he notices me bricked up. Nate leaps onto me on the couch, straddling my chest.

“Oh, did you like the show of Nasty Nate putting his bigger brothers in their place? Does my sexy boyfriend want to take a trip to dreamland on the Nasty Lock Express?”

As much as I want to listen to my libido, my cautious side wins out.

“Yeah, we're not doing anything like that with your brothers only a few feet away. What we do in private remains private.”

Nate sighs in defeat, knowing I’m right.

A small, impish smirk forms on Nate’s face, which doesn’t bode well for me.

He narrows his eyes and drops a butt bomb on my chest, fucking with me.

FFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRVVVVVVVTTTTTTTTTT

“Ah, we both know these two can sleep through a hurricane when they’re drunk. Once we set them up in the guest room, you're gonna be at the mercy of Nasty Nate and his big, fat, gassy booty.”

Nate gets off of me, grinning like the Cheshire cat. He’s such a prick; he knows what he’s doing. Now, I gotta help him while I’m hard as a rock.

The two of us move his brothers into the guest bedroom and onto the bed. Victor almost pukes on me but it lands on the floor. I make Nate deal with it. They’re his brothers after all.

I head to our bedroom, getting ready for bed.

The soft sound of wool hitting the floor has me turning to the open bedroom door. Nate is standing at the end of the hall, completely naked. His briefs, tossed to the ground next to him.

I take in the mischievousness and desire dancing in his eyes, and the toothy grin stretching across his lips.

Nate breaks into a dead sprint at me. His bulging arms pumping, his rock-hard pecs heaving, his hardening length slapping to and fro in between his meaty thighs.

I stand there, wide-eyed, unable to move.

When Nate nears me, he spins around and jumps backwards, ass-first right into my face.

I’m sacked onto the bed with Nate’s bare, titanic rump seated on my face. His doughy cheeks pour down the sides of my face, making contact with the bed. My entire head is entombed in Nate’s gargantuan ass.

I hear and feel his deep voice rumbling above me. “I hope you didn’t think you were safe. Now that I’m done with those two stooges, Nasty Nate can focus all his flatulent attention on you.”

Nate rocks his ass from side to side, and up and down, all over my face, trying to get comfortable.

I wind up with my lips kissing his pucker. I feel his hole twitch.

“Add this to my monthly, nasty contribution” FFFDDDHHHPPP “Don’t worry about the gas bill, it's on me” RRRLLLOOOMMM “Well, I guess, technically, it's on you” BBBWWWAAADDD “And it also looks like I’m pitching in with the groceries. Look at all that cake you're smothered in” VVVFFFUUUBBB “Good thing you’ve got such a sweet tooth” MMMDDD-UUURRR-OOOTTT

Nate keeps venting beefy farts into my open mouth, making my cheeks inflate with his intestinal emissions.

I feel his ass lips open up. “NGH… Buckle up, babe, Nate is about to get real Nasty… UGH”

VVVVVVVVVVVRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

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jocksfarting · 3 months ago

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A new comp of this amazing guy haha

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jocksfarting · 3 months ago

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Another clip of that bully face burping

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jocksfarting · 3 months ago

Text

Smell of an old friend

My parents are going on a two week long cruise just as winter vacation starts. Unfortunately for me, at the same time they decided to do some serious renovation on our house so for the next week I’ll be staying with our neighbors. Now I like the Baxters, it’s just their son Robbie I have a problem with. Robbie and I used to be best friends since we were in diapers, but things changed when we started high school. When Robbie made it on the baseball team he completely ignored my existence. He would ghost my calls and brush me off whenever I tried to talk to him. It stung like a bitch when he made a new best friend, but I got the picture. And for the past four years we haven’t spoken a word to each other.

Right now I’m sitting in a chair next to the bed, in the Baxter’s guest bedroom. I’m hoping I can mostly remain in here and dodge Robbie for the whole week. I don’t want to bump into him and have an awkward encounter. Maybe his parents will forget to mention I’m here, until I’m gone.

My hopes are dashed when the guest bedroom door slams open and a smiling Robbie enters. He’s shirtless, only wearing a pair of plaid, pajama pants. Robbie’s years of sports have definitely put a lot of muscle on his formerly lanky body.

“Bro, why didn’t you tell me sooner you were staying with us. It’ll be just like the sleepovers we had when we were kids. Here’s a literal blast of nostalgia.” A smiling Robbie walks up to me, still sitting in the chair, and spins around. Not only has Robbie’s muscles grown but his ass has grown too. Robbie’s now sporting a fat bubble butt.

Robbie tosses a foot onto the bed, spreading his butt cheeks in his slacks. He then leans forward putting his ass within inches of my face.

PPPHHHRRMM

Robbie farts right in my face. It’s high pitched and squeaky, and it stinks of rotten eggs.

Robbie has always been a gassy person who constantly rips rancid-smelling farts. When we used to be best friends, a day wouldn’t go by where Robbie wouldn’t fart on me, at least once. Now I see him, at a distance, farting in his jock friends’ faces. I kinda miss Robbie’s smelly show of friendship.

Robbie turns around and takes a seat on the bed, while snickering as he wafts his fart fumes towards my face. “Ah, have you missed my Robbie Rockets, haha”

I nearly forgot that he calls his farts Robbie Rockets. It’s well suited with the amount of devastation they cause. Robbie’s farts have been known to clear out classrooms, and one time an entirely filled auditorium. And usually when he’s about to fart he’d announce that ‘he’s about to launch’.

“So how’ve you been man?” Robbie asks.

I look at him flummoxed. Why is he suddenly talking to me?

“Huh, what’s going on Robbie? You haven’t talked to me since we were freshmen.” I state bluntly, making Robbie look like I stabbed him with a knife.

Robbie wipes his face with his hand, looking dejected. “I’m sorry Drew, I-I really fucked up. I’m so fucking sorry for ditching you. When I joined the baseball team and became popular, at first I loved it. I loved all the attention and people wanting to hangout with me. But I eventually realized that they didn’t really care about me. And I was really missing you. In truth, for the past two years I’ve been thinking about how I can convince you into rekindling our friendship without you telling me to ‘fuck off’.”

“But what about your new best friend Nick?” I ask, trying to keep the bitterness out of my voice.

Robbie smiles at his friend’s name being mentioned. “He’s a great guy Drew, and who says a guy can’t have two best friends. Once we all start hanging out I’m sure you and Nick will become best friends too.”

I scoff, “Nick hates me man. He’s told me, on several occasions, that I’m a boring loser. Well that’s what he meant, what he said was far more colorful.”

Robbie winces at that. “Yeah but after he gets to know you and you guys become friends I’m sure he’ll apologize.” Robbie promises, making me roll my eyes.

Robbie continues, “But this is about me and you. I’m really sorry about discarding our friendship. Can you ever forgive me? I miss you bro.”

I feel conflicted. I really miss Robbie too but he’s broken my trust. And the thought of spending more time around Nick isn’t appealing. “I don’t know Robbie.” I answer truthfully.

Robbie looks pained at first but then a mischievous grin forms on his lips. “Come on Drew, give me another chance, mom and dad will be gone for the night, so it’ll be just you and me. It’ll be just like the good old days. Please Drew, don’t you miss this.”

Robbie stands up, spins around, and bends over at the waist. He then starts to shuffle backwards, bringing his bubble butt towards my face.

This startles a laugh out of me and I brace my hands on the back of his thighs, trying to keep his butt away. This reminds me of when we were younger and Robbie would randomly wrestle me down to fart in my face. I could barely manage against the lanky Robbie, this muscled one has no issue overpowering my resistance and bringing his butt closer to my face.

“I’m about to launch.” Robbie warns. Once his butt’s within a foot of my face, he bounces it several times, and accompanies each bounce with a fart to my face.

Bounce FFFGGGHHH

Bounce BBBBBBBMMMMMMM

Bounce RRRRRVVVDDDDPPPPP

Bounce PPPPPLLLLHHHHHGGGGG

I groan as I get a few facefuls of Robbie’s eggy fumes. Robbie turns his head, looking back at me with a lopsided grin.

“See, don’t you miss my Robbie Rockets Drew? Here, let me launch some more.” Robbie quickly reaches back, grabbing the back of my head, and pulls my face into his bubbly ass. His pillowy rump molds around my face, smothering me.

“Oh yeah this Robbie Rocket has lift off” PPPFFGGG “Have you noticed that my Robbie Rockets have gotten stronger” RRRWWWLLLL “Protein shakes have become a staple of my diet since the last time I farted in your face” BBBHHHMMMM “They give my Robbie Rockets a bit more umph” PPPFFFPPPP “Can you smell the difference?” FFFFFKKKKKTSTSTSTSTSSS

Robbie keeps ripping fart after noxious fart in my face making me cough and gag. Robbie pulls my face out of his big ass and peers back at me, over his shoulder, with the same lopsided grin.

“So, you willing to hangout with me tonight or do I have to fart in your face some more. My Robbie Rockets are how I got my way with you when we were younger, and I haven’t outgrown that tactic yet.”

Robbie extends his ass, grazing my nose with his butt crack and farts. I’m both coughing and laughing. This is something bratty Robbie would always do when we were younger.

“Alright, alright, I guess we can hangout tonight.” I concede.

Robbie lets go of my head and pumps his fist in the air. “Hell yeah dude! I’ll order pizza and we can stream that new horror movie that just came out.”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “You used to hate scary movies”

Robbie rubs the back of his head sheepishly. “Yeah well Nick got me into them.”

I make sure that my disdain isn’t visible on my face as he brings up Nick.

We eventually find ourselves sitting on the couch in the living-room. Robbie starts the movie after ordering a pizza that’ll be here in 30 minutes.

As soon as the movie starts I side-eye Robbie and notice him clutching the fabric of the couch with both hands. I can’t help but smirk.

5 minutes in and a fake-out, jump scare causes Robbie to spaz-out and yelp ‘fuck’. I feel guilty but I start laughing uncontrollably. Robbie’s glaring but he’s red with obvious embarrassment.

“Haha, I-I’m s-sorry” I say through my laughing fit, “But that looked so ridiculous haha.”

“What a coincidence? Cause you’re about to smell ridiculous.” Robbie scoots over and takes a seat on my thigh, wearing a devious smirk.

Before I can react, Robbie farts on my thigh. I groan and laugh as I feel the gust of warm air against my leg and then smell his eggy fumes.

Robbie chuckles because he isn’t finished. He plants his feet on the couch, squatting over my lap. Robbie then starts to slowly rise, ripping farts up my body. I’m laughing and gagging from Robbie’s gassy assault. I try to push him off me but he isn’t budging, Robbie just keeps farting on me.

Robbie farts on my waist, then he farts on my stomach, then he farts on my chest, then he farts on my neck, then his bubble butt is right in my face.

“I’m about to launch!” Robbie declares before ripping a long, greasy Robbie Rocket point-blank, in my face. It reeks of rotten eggs and spices and puts me in a coughing fit.

With Robbie’s ass still in my face, someone knocks on the door, interrupting us.

“Oh that must be our pizza” Robbie says before dickishly adding, “Hehe, if you think my Robbie Rockets are bad now, just you wait til I’ve eaten some pizza. Remember those Drew? Better say goodbye to the last of your nose hairs because they won’t be surviving the next hour.” With that, Robbie thrusts his meaty rump right in my face, and farts.

FFFFFFGGGGGGGGLLLLLLHHHHHHH

Robbie hops off the couch, snickering, leaving me coughing and gagging. He returns with the pizza and we get back into the movie.

All through the movie I’m trapped in a revolving, noxious cycle with Robbie’s pizza-powered farts. Everytime he gets scared I laugh. This upsets Robbie so he lifts his leg, rocks to the side, and rips a fart my way. He always accompanies a Robbie Rocket with something like ‘I’m about to launch’ or ‘fire in the hole’.

I thought my friendship with Robbie was permanently dead but here I am having fun with him again.

Once the movie wraps up we decide to play some video games but an unfortunate surprise pops up.

The front door bangs open and a loud voice announces, “I’M HERE FUCK-FACE.”

I roll my eyes. Oh great it’s Nick.

Nick’s smile vanishes as he steps into the room. He looks at Robbie with a frown while pointing at me. “What’s the loser doing here?” he asks, insulting me.

Robbie groans as he stands up. “Lay-off him Nick. Drew’s staying here for a week and we’re becoming friends again.”

“When you said your parents would be gone for the night, I thought it’d be just us two bros. This little loser’s going to ruin any fun.” I’m trying to bite my tongue but Nick’s insults are really ticking me off.

Robbie walks up to Nick, tosses an arm over his shoulders, and steers him towards the couch. But Robbie does warn Nick. “Nick, Drew is my friend again and I hate when people mess with my friends. It makes me angry and when I’m angry you know I express it with my Robbie Rockets. Now I think you should stop now before my ass declares war on you.” To prove a point, Robbie twists his hips and rips a fart on Nick’s thigh. FFLLLTTT

Nick cringes and looks annoyed, but he keeps his lips shut as he sits on the other end of the couch with Robbie sitting in between us.

“So what should we play?” Robbie asks. I suggest Mario Kart and Nick suggests Call of Duty.

Nick scoffs at my suggestion. “Of course a loser like you would pick that first.”

“Jeez, everytime you open your mouth, you sound like an even bigger asshole.” I fire back.

Robbie stands up and bends over at the waist. He points his bubble butt in my face and rips a long, airy fart. Half way through, Robbie swivels his hips, ripping the second half of his fart in Nick’s face. PPPPPFFFFWWWWHHHHH

Robbie wafts his butt vapor’s towards a coughing me and Nick. “Ah, I’m tired of you two bickering. For the rest of the night, whoever’s being a dick is getting a Robbie Rocket to the face.” Robbie threatens and Nick and I take heed.

We decide to play Call of Duty first and then Mario Kart. I’m not the best at first person shooters so when we’re playing a team battle I’m not as good as Nick or Robbie. All through the game Nick grumbles about me sucking.

In the end our team lost, but I wasn’t really that bad. I got ⅔ of their kills while dying half as much as they did. Still, Nick places the blame on me.

“Way to go, we lost thanks to you.”

“You guy’s deaths are what gave them so many points. This is as much your fault as mine.” I argue.

Nick ignores my defense. “Unsurprising, losing is what a little loser like you is good at.”

At this, Robbie announces, “Whelp, you’re being an asshole Nick so it’s time for you to smell mine.”

Robbie leans to the side, cups his hand against his ass, and farts into it. BBBGGGGFFF.

Robbie quickly covers Nick’s nose and mouth with his cupped fart. Nick tries to lean away but Robbie follows, snickering.

After 5 seconds Robbie brings his hand back to his ass and cups another fart before sealing it over Nick’s nose.

“Let that be a lesson to you Nick.” Robbie says once he’s finished. I can’t help but smile at Robbie sticking up for me. Nick catches this and explodes.

Nick jumps up and points at me. “Dude why is this piece of shit here!”

“Jeez, calm down man” Robbie says, trying to bring down the tension.

Nick’s shaking his head, “Fuck no. You know you don’t want him here any more than me. Don’t you remember what you said when we were freshman and you first ditched this loser?”

Robbie looks scared shitless. “No I-” Nick cuts him off.

“You said he’s nothing but a clingy little bitch and you wouldn’t be surprised if he never made any friends. And you were right. He’s a loser loner that everyone forgets about.” Nick says, looking at me with a malicious grin. Robbie looks heartbroken and guilty, basically confirming what Nick said to be true.

The fact that Robbie said those things really hurts, but I don’t let it show on my face. “I’m done hanging out with you two dicks.” I say before heading up to the guest bedroom.

Nick cackles as I leave and Robbie barks out ‘Fuck You’. At first I think it’s aimed at me but realize it isn’t when Nick and Robbie start yelling at each other. I leave them to bicker as I head to my room and lock the door. I lay in the bed and start up a game on my phone.

For the next fifteen minutes I hear more yelling happening downstairs and then it all goes quiet. A few moments later my doorknob rattles, with no success, followed by persistent knocking.

“Drew, open up. Please bro, let me explain.” Robbie pleads but I ignore him.

“Fine then. If you won’t come out willingly then I’ll force you out.” Robbie threatens. I hear a heavy thud against the door, and then… PPPPPPHHHHBBBBBB

Robbie rips a bubbly fart against the door that reverberates through the wood, making the whole door rumble.

“Oh yeah Drew, I’m gonna stink you out so we can talk about this face-to-face.”

PPPPPRRRRBBBB, RRRRRRFFFFFLLLLLLL, FFFFFFFDDDDDDVVVVVVVV

Robbie keeps farting on the door for the next ten minutes straight. The eggy stench seeps into my room, but the door is keeping most of his ass fumes out. With all the Robbie Rockets I’ve taken to the face today, I can handle this. I just keep playing on my phone, ignoring Robbie’s gassy tantrum.

Eventually Robbie stops and barks ‘fuck’ before I hear him stampede down the stairs. Downstairs I hear Robbie roar, “I’M GONNA BURN YOUR FUCKING NOSE OFF!” followed by a loud crash. Then I hear loud-ass Robbie Rockets exploding from all the way downstairs.

I put in my airpods and ignore it all.

After playing games and watching videos on my phone, I notice that it’s 1 in the morning. It’s been hours since I heard any noise coming from around the house. Hopefully Nick and Robbie patched things up and left somewhere.

I’m hungry so I leave my room to get something to eat. I slip into the kitchen and warm up a few slices of pizza, and grab a can of soda before heading back to my room.

As I re-enter my room, with my food, Robbie speaks, surprising me. I spin around and find that he was hiding behind the door.

‘Damn Drew, I’ve been waiting for you to leave this room for hours so I could sneak in.”

This is Robbie’s home so I can’t tell him to leave the room, so I decide to leave myself. I silently head towards the door.

Robbie immediately shuts the door, keeping us together, inside the room. With his back to me, he braces both hands against the door, and arches his back, jutting his fat ass out, in my direction.

Robbie looks back at me, over his shoulder, with a crooked grin.”You ain’t going anywhere. You’re gonna hear what I gotta say and I’m gonna make you listen.” Robbie’s face scrunches up into a look of concentration before he farts. PPPPHHHOOOOOOTTTTT

“Ah, oh yeah, but first I need to turn this place into a fart-box. Need to weaken you enough so you’ll have to listen to me and realize you can’t escape. I’m about to launch like mad bro…. NGH”

Robbie proceeds to fart like crazy. As soon as one ends, another one’s immediately firing out of his ass. He does this for 12 minutes straight, filling every inch of the room with his rancid fish and shit smelling butt fumes.

Food long forgotten, I sit on the edge of the bed, coughing and with watery eyes. The collar of my shirt is pulled over my mouth and nose but it’s of no help.

Robbie looks back at me with a triumphant grin. Robbie finally stops farting but not for too long. He walks up to me, stands me up, and steers me into sitting in the armchair next to the bed. Robbie spins around and then pulls down the back of his pajama bottoms, freeing his fat, bouncing cakes.

Before I can even think of doing anything, Robbie steps onto the armchair, backwards, bracketing my knees with his feet. He then squats, spreading his cheeks and aligning my face with his ass crack.

Robbie immediately thrusts his ass back, swallowing my face in between his meaty globes. I’m instantly met with a fart up my nose.

RRRRRRFFFFFLLLLLLMMMMM

“Now Drew you’re gonna listen to my apology but since you annoyed me by not letting me explain myself, I’m also gonna demolish your face with some bare-assed Robbie Rockets.” FFFFFFHHHHHHKKKKKKTTTTTT

“Yes I said those terrible things about you years ago, but just so I could be popular. I didn’t really mean it. But I do mean this.” MMMMMBBBBBBBFFFFFFWWWWWW

“I wish I could take back my words and all my actions that hurt you. I wish I could take it all back and replace them with these.” BBBBBGGGGGGGGVVVVVVPPPPPP

“Ah, but I can’t take them back. But I can promise you things are gonna change. I’m making sure that the three of us will be best bros again. And I don’t mean Nick, fuck that guy. I’m talking about me, you, and my Robbie-Rocketing-booty” FFFFFFHHHHHHHLLLLLLLLFFFFFFFFFF

“From now on you are under my protection. If anyone at school gives you any sort of trouble then my nasty ass declares a smelly war on their persons.” BBBBBBBBFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT

“Phew, I don’t care if it takes all night, I’m gonna Robbie Rocket my forgiveness out of you” BBBBBBBBMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVV

“You gotta believe that I’ve been wanting your friendship back for years. Everytime I farted in one of my teammates’ faces I was imagining it was you. Please don’t kill my dreams Drew. Please accept my friendship and become my favorite Robbie Rocketing victim again.” RRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLL-OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH-RRRRRRRRFFFFFFFF

Robbie leans forward, pulling my face out from in between his cheeks, but keeping his bare ass only a few inches from my nose. “So do you forgive me yet or do I need to do some more launching?”

“Robbie, I don’t-” I start but Robbie farts in my face.

“Robbie, stop-” He again silences me by farting in my face.

I can’t help but laugh at this whole scenario. And judging by Robbie’s jiggling, bare cheeks, he’s laughing too. To others, this might seem like nasty bullying, but I know the real Robbie. This is him showing that he’s truly sorry for everything and wanting to make amends. I can’t not forgive him.

“Alright, alright, I forgive you, we can try being friends again.” I exclaim. Even after that, Robbie kisses my nose with his butt crack and farts.

“Ew, gross Robbie, I forgave you what the fuck?”

“Ah, hehe, I’m still annoyed with you for hiding away when I tried to apologize earlier. So you might have forgiven me but I haven’t forgiven you. But I think a night long, Robbie-Rocket-filled Dutch oven will fix that.”

Next thing I know, he’s tossing me onto the bed. And Robbie, with his bare-ass still hanging out, follows. This new, muscled Robbie easily manhandles me and I find the both of us, lying on our sides, on the bed. I’m halfway down the bed with my face once again buried deep in between his bulbous ass-mounds.

I obviously can’t see anything, but I feel Robbie placing the covers over me and the lower half of his body, sealing me in a Dutch oven. He also wraps his legs back, around my shoulders, trapping me in place. With his meaty, ass flesh covering my ears, it sounds like I’m underwater, but I hear his voice.

“You’re in for a real treat tomorrow Drew because I’m gonna prove to you that I meant what I said earlier. No one gets to pick on you but me. I’m inviting Nick back over and pretending that I’m gonna apologize. But when he gets here, his face is going into my bare-ass and he’s going to be Robbie Rocketed for a straight hour, haha. I won’t feel guilty about killing that friendship with my farts… NGH”

FFFFFFFGGGGGGGGG-OOOOOOOHHHHHHH-FFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTT

“Ah, and when I’m done with him, you’re screwed for the rest of the week Drew. You’re going to experience all the new techniques and tricks I’ve mastered over the years to fart in peoples faces. I’ve become very flexible… HGH”

BBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLL-AAAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVV-DDDDDDMMMMMMMM

“But for now let’s get some sleep; enjoy your Dutch oven. And don’t worry, I still fart constantly in my sleep as I did when we were younger… GGH”

PPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFF-OOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBB

I suddenly hear a gurgling noise coming from Robbie’s stomach.

“Uh-oh, I feel a Robbie Nuke heading your way Drew. Well, what are friends for? I’m sure this’ll put you to sleep hard. Ah, nighty-night Drew. FGH… I’m about to launch… UGH”

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTT

456 notes · View notes

jocksfarting · 3 months ago

Text

Smell of ending a friendship

This is a sequel to Smell of an old friend

NICK’S POV

I still can’t believe Robbie chose that loser, Drew, over me last night. Thankfully he pulled his head out of his ass and called me later that night to apologize and asked me to come back over today. I'm definitely going to make Robbie work for my forgiveness.

I knocked on his door, and Robbie immediately opened it. He’s still shirtless and wearing the same pajama bottoms from last night.

With a guilty smile, he invites me in. Once I step inside, he shuts the door and tosses an arm over my shoulder as we head deeper into his place.

“Nick, man, I’m sorry about last night,” he apologizes.

I scoff, “Whatever, where’s your bitchy, loser of a girlfriend.” I taunt.

For a second, I think I see a glimmer of rage in his face, but with another glance, it’s gone. Probably just a trick of the eye.

“He’s upstairs; he’s still staying with us for the week. But after hanging out with him for an hour, man, you’re right; he is a total loser. I kicked his ass to the curb and told him to not bug you or me when we hangout.”

I’m grinning like a loon as we stop in the living room. I slap him on the back, proud of him. “There’s my bro that I know and love. Good to have you back. You were acting fucked up, last night.”

Robbie gives a meek shrug, and then we hear a small thump behind us. We both look over our shoulders and see Robbie’s phone on the carpet.

“Shit, I dropped my phone. Hey Nick, can you get that for me?”

“Sure, I got you,” I say as I kneel to pick up his phone. As soon as my fingers clasp his phone. Something big, bulbous, and warm covers the entire right side of my face. Startled, I turn my head, accidentally covering my entire face with the large, mysterious object.

BBBBBBBRRRRRRRWWWWWWWPPPPPPPPP

A loud explosion goes off in my face, and the stench of rotten eggs and broccoli invades my nose. I’m immediately clued in that Robbie’s big ass is in my face and he just blasted me with a noxious Robbie Rocket.

I fall onto my ass, with my back against the wall, coughing on Robbie’s toxic fumes, filling my lungs.

“Man, Nick, I can’t believe you’re so fuckin’ gullible. To come on over, thinking I wanted to apologize to you. And then for you to fall for the oldest trick in the book, to get your face near my ass. You made so many mistakes, and now it’s time to pay the price, old friend. I’m about to launch.”

While still coughing on the ground, I open my stinging eyes to a horrific sight. Robbie’s bent over at the waist, with his knees slightly bent, aligning his mountainous rump on height level with my face. Before I can scream ‘NO’, Robbie quickly backs up, smashing his meaty mounds into my face.

I can’t see anything, I can only feel ass meat rubbing from left to right and up to down, all over my face. Robbie comes to a stop, and I feel his glutes flex.

RRRRRFFFFFFLLLLLLPPPPPP-BBBBBBBMMMMOOOODDDDDD

Two long and consecutive, airy farts are launched in my face. Their eggy stench has me gagging.

Robbie starts shimmying his plump booty again, taking my pinned face along for the ride.

“Nighty-night, my former bud. And sorry to say, but when you wake up, things are going to be much worse… HGH”

PPPPPPPPPWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBB

RRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDD

MMMMMMMMMMBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPP

FFFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMM

Robbie launches a barrage of nasty butt rockets point-blank up my nose. They stink of raw sewage and Robbie’s pungent musk. It overwhelms me, and I find myself blacking out.

LATER

I groan as I come to. I try to move my arms but can’t; I try the same thing with my legs, but they are also a no-go. My eyes shoot open, and I take in that I’m in Robbie’s room, lying on his bed. I look at my limbs in horror, seeing that they are tied to the four bedposts of Robbie’s bed. I’m trapped, starfished on his mattress.

“About time you woke up,” a voice says.

I look up and see Robbie posted against his closed door. His arms are folded, and he’s wearing a lopsided grin.

“What the fuck man? Let me out! I’m your fucking best friend!” I yell at him.

Still grinning, Robbie starts walking towards the bed.

“Come on, Nicky, you’re not that stupid. Haven’t you realized it yet? I’ve chosen Drew over you. Drew and I are gonna be tight as brothers again. And you? You’re shit outta luck.” Robbie’s words hurt and anger me.

“How can you choose that friendless loser over me, dumbass?” I seethe.

Robbie’s grin falls, and he narrows his eyes at me. “Last night, you nearly got Drew to hate me. And I come to learn that you’ve been talking shit to his face, when I wasn’t looking. You’ve done fucked up Nick because you made me mad. And you know what that means. My ass is declaring war on your face.” Robbie growls as he steps up to the bed.

I look up at Robbie, fearfully, making him smirk devilishly.

Robbie climbs onto the bed, straddling my chest backwards, and says, “Remember last year when that nerd snitched on us for cheating on our test? After we lured him into your place, we tied him up in your bed and I farted in his face for hours. Well, now it’s your turn, Nick, hehe.”

Robbie squats his bubble butt less than a foot above my face. It looks like the stitching of the seat of his pants is barely holding together in containing his watermelon-sized globes.

“Please Robbie,” I beg, but he ignores it.

WHUMP

I groan as Robbie drops his big ass on top of my face, burying it under his heavy, thick mounds.

“I’m locked and loaded, Nick. This is war. It’s time to launch… GGH”

BBBBBBWWWWWWWOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM

Robbie farts in my face, big time, making me gag on his skunky vapors. Robbie suddenly lifts his ass off of my face and I gasp for some untainted, cool air. As I take a breath, Robbie slams his ass down on my face, and farts into my open mouth.

FFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDPPPPPPPP

Robbie keeps doing the same routine for some time, torturing me.

Up, WHUMP… BBBBBBBBBFFFFFFLLLLLLLRRRRRR

Up, WHUMP… RRRRRRRRVVVVVVVWWWWTTTTTTTT

Up, WHUMP… MMMMMMRRRRRRROOOOPPPPPPPP

Up, WHUMP… FFFFFFFRRRRRRRAAAAAABBBBBB

After his last fart, instead of getting up, he presses his bubble butt down hard, crushing my face. I can’t breathe at all as he does this, so I start to struggle.

From above, I hear him say, “Hang on, Nick, I feel a big one coming down the pipeline. Oh, here it comes… NGH. Ah, there, it’s out to launch.”

It doesn’t make a sound, but I feel a stream of hot air vent out and warm the tip of my nose. I suddenly start thrashing and dry-heaving as I get a sniff of his silent ass wind. Robbie’s sbd’s could be classified as bioweapons. The vile stench of digested meat and sulfur ravages my lungs.

Robbie eases off of my face forcing me to breathe in all of his putrid butt fumes.

“Not to toot my own horn, pun intended, but that was pretty good, wasn’t it?” Robbie asks, sounding cocky.

I’m too busy dying to answer.

“Oh, quit being so dramatic, here, maybe this palate cleanser will help,” Robbie says with his ass hovering just above my face.

I frown, knowing nothing good is about to happen. I’m proven right as I watch Robbie pull down the back of his slacks. His bubble butt pours out of its confines and I now have his bare, fuzzy, slightly sweaty, twin moons lording only inches above my face.

“Give my ass crack a little lick. That should help.” He suggests.

“Fuck off.” I bark, scared and disgusted as hell.

Robbie laughs, causing his beefy mountains to wobble above my face.

“Hehe, that wasn’t a request, Nicky. I’d get to licking if I were you. You don’t want me to launch a Robbie Rocket, bare-ass, in your face do ya?” He sing-songs.

“N-no,” I answer.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Taste me.” Robbie taunts me by swaying his hips, making his bulbous cheeks jiggle and clap above me.

I lift my head and stick my tongue out. I shiver as my tongue meets his sweaty crack; the salty, acrid taste is repulsive.

Before I can react, Robbie reaches down and spreads open his cheeks, showing off his equally sweaty pucker.

He slams his ass down on my face, entombing my head in between his brawny cheeks. What’s worse is that his asshole is pressed into my open mouth and I can’t close it.

“Haha, I can’t believe you’re this fucking gullible. I just wanted to launch into your open mouth, dumbass.”

I fearfully whimper as I feel his hole open and push outward.

“Oh yeah you should be scared, you fuck, because I’m about to launch like mad… NGH”

BBBBBBFFFFFFFFFWWWWWWWPPPPPP

FFFFFFFFMMMMMMMMRRRRRRRDDDDDDD

PPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAMMMMMMM

MMMMMMMMDDDDDDDDBBBBBBBRRRRRRRR

Robbie keeps launching one gnarly fart after another, inflating my cheeks and lungs with his noxious wind. It seems like his farts have no end and I’m feeling sicker by the second.

“Open wide, Nicky. I’m sending a big care package down your gullet. HGH… Bombs away… NGH”

BBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Robbie launches a 25 second butt rocket into my open mouth, making me smell and taste his raunchy, nauseating vapors. It stinks of rotten fish and sulfur. It’s too much and I pass out as his monstrous fart comes to an end.

This isn’t right, we were best friends only a few hours ago; this shouldn’t be happening to me. That’s my last thought before everything goes black.

LATER

When I regain consciousness, the first thing I hear is Nintendo’s mascot character, Mario, yelling, ‘WHAA-HOO!’

That’s followed by two voices talking.

“Man, this is weird.”

“Why? We’re just two dudes playing Mario Kart.”

“You’re excluding the fact that you’re practically naked with your bare-ass in a tied-up guy’s face.” The other voice dryly adds.

I give a muffled groan, feeling my body’s movement has been even more restricted than before. I open my eyes and immediately see why. I’m still in Robbie’s bed, lying on my back, but bound up with several long pieces of duct tape.

My hands, ankles, thighs, and knees are wrapped together, and my arms are bound to my sides, all with duct tape.

If that wasn’t enough, Robbie is lying on top of me. His ass is facing me as he lies on my stomach, on top of my body, with his head near my knees. And it gets worse, all he’s wearing is a jockstrap. So his bare, bubbly rump is aimed right at my face.

Although his upper body is lying down, Robbie’s on his knees and pushing his ass out towards my face. Because of this, I can see his fuzz-surrounded, sweaty, and winking hole.

Drew is sitting at the end of the bed as the two play Mario Kart.

Drew looks back at me, and I try to yell, ‘Make him stop,’ but all I get out is a muffled yell, surprising me. Drew quickly looks back at the screen, and I realize that my mouth is duct tape shut. Also, I feel cloth material filling my mouth, and its taste is rank and vile.

Robbie looks back at me, over his shoulder, with a cheeky grin. Hours ago, that grin made me laugh, telling me he was about to launch a Robbie Rocket in a nerd’s face. Now it fills me with unease.

“Hey man, how does my crusty, unwashed jockstrap taste?” Robbie asks.

I give a muffled groan, now knowing what disgusting thing is defiling my mouth.

“Hold that thought, buddy, I gotta launch… GGH”

I watch in horror as his pucker opens and presses out, a few feet from my face.

MMMMMMMMMFFFFFFFFFFBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRR

I’m blasted in the face with a trumpeting 6 second fart that is powerful enough to blow back my hair. It stinks of rotten eggs and onions, and has my eyes stinging.

Both Drew and I groan simultaneously. “Come on, man, you using your Robbie Rockets as we play is so unfair,” Drew complains, making Robbie laugh.

“Haha, no it’s not because this time I have a victim in front of my ass that’ll be forced to sniff up the brunt of my butt fumes.” Robbie follows that with…

BBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPP

Drew winces, “Oh damn, that’s bad Robbie.”

“Oh come on, you should be used to your best friend’s nasty butt rockets,” Robbie replies with a sly grin.

It’s humiliating that they’re just chilling and talking, while Robbie’s torturing me with his farts. I give a muffled yell, trying to get their attention.

I get Robbie’s attention, and it isn’t good. Robbie looks back at me, annoyed.

He shouts two words at me. Punctuating each one with a fart in my face.

“SHUT!… RGH”

FFFFFFFFFFFFMMMMMMMMMMMMVVVVVVVVVVBBBBBBB

“UP!… HGGH”

VVVVVVVVVVVBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPP

His toxic butt vapors poisoning my lungs, has me coughing. Robbie shoots me a nasty sneer, while Drew does his best not to look at me.

Robbie gives Drew a genuine grin. “Think about it, Drew. Even though you’ll have to play while I hotbox the room with my farts, I’ll be playing two games at once. I’ll be playing Mario Kart with you, and my booty will be playing a generic first-person-shooter with Nick’s face. See, it’s perfectly fair.”

Robbie shoots me a quick, nasty smirk as he rocks his hips, making his meaty moons ripple in front of my face.

Drew snickers, “Heh, when you put it like that, I guess it is fair.”

Robbie’s smirk grows a little more devilish. “Since you agree that it’s fair, how about we make a little bet?”

Drew looks intrigued. “What kinda bet we talking here?”

“We play a grand prix, and if I win, we’re best friends again.”

“You can’t just declare that we’re best friends again. It doesn’t work like that, Robbie.” Drew corrects.

Undeterred, Robbie continues grinning like he’s got all the power. In a way, he does.

Drew sighs in defeat and relents. “And what do I get if I win?”

“Then I’ll never dutch-oven you again.”

Drew frowns, “I’ll be sleeping back in my place within a week, so all I’m winning is a few days of no dutch-ovens.”

Robbie grins knowingly. “With you living next door and us being friends again, nothing is stopping me from climbing into your room at night, and waking you up with a surprise dutch-oven.”

Drew turns pale and goes slack-jawed. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Robbie doesn’t say anything. He just grins and…

RRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPUUUUUUUBBBBBBBBBB

Robbie launches an eggy butt rocket in my face that wrecks me.

“Shit, I guess I’ve got no choice,” Drew says mostly to himself.

They proceed to play, all the while Robbie continuously rips massive Robbie Rockets in my face and taunts me.

“This red shell is for you, Drew, and this brown one's for you, Nick… GGH”

BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRWWWWWWTTTTTTTTTTT

“Damn, I hate b-bombs! Don’t you agree, Nick?... FGH”

MMMMMMMLLLLLLLLLLLHHHHHHHHHPPPPPPPPP

“Ha, that's one win for me. My farting and gaming skills are unmatched… NGH”

FFFFFFFAAAAAA-PPPPPPLLLLLL-BBBBBBRRRRRRR

“Hell Yeah! Eat my dust, Drew! And you eat this, Nick… HGH”

PPPPPPPPPPVVVVVVVVVVUUUUUUUBBBBBBBBB

“I’m about to launch a power-up and Robbie Rocket at the same time, I’m hella talented… GGH”

RRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWFFFFFFFFFF

“There’s my second win. Let’s commemorate it with a two-fer… FGH”

BBBBBBBRRRRRRRRR-HHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTT

“Heads-up, Nick, here comes a real-life blue shell… GHH”

MMMMMMMMBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP

“Shh-ssh, both of you, be quiet and listen. This is gonna be even bigger… UGH”

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRR

“There’s my third win. Bro, I’m owning you. And my ass is owning you, Nick… RGH”

PPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBB

“My thrusters are really roaring back there, Nick. I wonder if you’ll still have eyebrows when I’m done… GGH”

FFFFFFFFPPPPPPPPPPPVVVVVVVVVVVDDDDDDDDD

“How unfortunate. Drew hitting me with a green shell really angered my ass and it’s about to take it out on you Nick. I’m about to launch… NGH”

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“Fuck Yeah! I won first place in all four races. You know what that means, Drew? We’re best friends again. Let me celebrate by launching Robbie Rocket fireworks.”

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30 minutes. For the past 30 minutes Robbie’s been farting in my face non-stop. His last Robbie Rocket was the worst. It was 55 seconds long, and strong enough to blow back my hair and make his bubbly orbs flap.

The horrendous stench of raw sewage and sweaty hole is all I can breathe in, and it has my lungs feeling like they’re on fire. I’m a coughing and gagging mess. My eyes and nose are dripping.

Through my teary eyes, I can see Robbie grinning at Drew. “You know what this means? Good game, best friend.”

Drew sighs, “A deal is a deal. But our friendship is on a probationary basis.”

Robbie flinches as if he’s been hit, looking surprised. “What?”

Drew looks Robbie in the eyes. “Robbie, please don’t tell me you’ve forgotten all you’ve done.”

Why do I have to be here while they have this heart-to-heart talk? Why do I have to be here with Robbie’s bare bubble butt right in my face?

“You’ve got years of ignoring me and making fun of me behind my back to make up for.” Drew looks back at my hell torn face and flashes a small smirk, “But so far, you're doing a good job.”

Robbie looks over his shoulder with a cheeky grin. “Hear that, buddy, we’re doing a good job.” I'm confused about why he’s thanking me. Robbie’s grin turns devilish when his eyes connect with mine. “Oh, I was thanking my ass. But you, you’re more than welcome to choke on this. I’m about to launch… NGH”

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Robbie launches a short but loud-quacking rocket in my face. I turn and cough on his sulfuric vapors.

Drew groans, but I can hear the mirth in his tone. “Damn, Robbie that one was foul, even for you.”

“Haha, don’t blame me; it was all this big guy.” Robbie slaps his mountainous backside, making his cheeks wobble like bowls of gelatin. I cringe in disgust at the sight happening inches from my face.

“You and your butt are both at fault,” Drew starts as he stands up, “Since we’re rekindling our friendship, I’m using my right to get the hell out of here and return to the guest room. You fart-boxed your room something awful, man.”

Drew heads for the door. I thank whatever higher power is listening when Robbie gets his ass out of my face and off the bed. He rushes over and pins Drew, with his back against the wall, before he can leave. Robbie rotates his hips, pressing his butt against a restrained Drew’s side.

“Hold on, pal, you can’t escape without a complimentary Robbie Rocket. I’m about to launch… GGH”

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Robbie blasts Drew’s body with a raunchy, 6 second fart.

“So freaking gross,” Drew mutters with a grimace.

“Ah, hold on, bro, hold on. I got another one ready for launch… FGH”

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Robbie launches another greasy one onto Drew, making him groan.

Watching the two of them is heartbreaking. That was Robbie and me, not even 24 hours ago. The two of us the best of friends, Robbie constantly and playfully fucking with me with his farts, and Drew just a loser of a footnote in our lives. But now, Drew’s and my roles have reversed. Robbie and Drew are now tight as thieves, or at least working up to that, and I’m the butt of the joke, literally.

“Ew man, it may have been years since we last been close, but you’re still nasty as ever, Robbie.” Drew gripes after Robbie finally lets him go.

“Oh, that's how you want to be? Then take this,” Robbie spins around and bends over, aiming his butt at the open door Drew his walking towards.

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Robbie fires off a bubbly fart into the door way that Drew has to walk through. Drew coughs and gags as he wades through his noxious fumes.

“Look at you, willingly walking through my shitty fart cloud. Who’s the nasty one now?” Robbie teases, a cheeky grin stretches across his lips as he wafts the air behind his ass towards Drew.

“You’re such an asshole,” Drew calls out as he stumbles into the freedom of the hallway. How I wish I could join him in the hallway and walk myself out of this hellish nightmare.

“I love you, too, fart-face. That insult will become completely true when I launch a surprise Robbie Rocket into your face later tonight. And you’ll never know when it’s coming.” Robbie sing-songs before slamming the door. I hear Drew groaning in despair through the wood.

Speaking of despair, that’s what I feel in the pit of my stomach. I’m alone in a room, bound, with a gassy Robbie, who’s only in a jockstrap.

Robbie turns to me. His grin broadens into a more toothy and dangerous one. And the malicious glint I see shining in his eyes sends a shiver up my spine. He starts prowling towards me, tied up on the bed, like a sleek predator.

“Nicky, Nicky, Nicky,” Robbie shakes his head, “You know how angry I get with assholes who mess with people I care for. Hell, you should remember the shit I’ve done to people who fucked with you.”

I’m hit with warm nostalgia as I think about such a time last year. Some dude was spreading rumors about me. In the cafeteria in front of ¼ of the school, while the guy was eating lunch, Robbie pulled up his pants, giving himself a slight wedgie. Robbie stuck his big butt in the guy’s face and ripped a huge fart.

“Nick, you went too far last night. You should’ve known this would happen.” Robbie gets onto the bed and stands up, and starts walking up my body, “You’ve been fucking with Drew behind my back. You snitched, telling Drew all the bullshit I said about him in the past, even though you know I didn’t mean it. You nearly derailed my attempt to mend my most important friendship.” Robbie stops when his feet are planted on either side of my shoulders. “Since last night, my stomach has been brewing up so much gas in rage. My butt is desperate to waterboard you with my butt funk. Any last words?”

“Please, Robbie, I was doing right by you. Being friends with that loser would make you a loser by association. I was helping you.” I desperately plead my case.

In a rare and frightening change, Robbie isn’t smiling. He looks stoic, and the air is thick with his lingering farts and his fury.

“Well, congrats, “Robbie turns around. Towering high, over my face is his bare, protruding globes framed perfectly by the straps of his jock. “In helping me, you helped yourself to this...”

Robbie pulls his legs out from beneath him, his huge rump comes crashing down onto my face. His doughy moons smother my pain-filled grunt. It feels like two asteroids, covered in flesh, crash-landed on my face.

My head feels like it’s being flattened by so much ass fat and muscle. Most of my face is being squeezed in the sweaty, musky valley between his pillowy orbs.

I hear Robbie’s voice rumbling from above me, “Hey Nicky, it might be dark in my ass, but I have some news that will brighten the situation. All this time, I’ve been taking pics and videos of you’re face all up in my big gassy ass. I’m going to be sending it to everyone at school. You’re gonna be famous, my former friend.” Robbie congratulates with a mock cheer.

This is when I break. I start crying with my face still swallowed up by his big butt. Straight up bawling. I wish I could go back in time. I wish I could have just been friends with Drew. The three of us could’ve been a tight-knit crew. But now, I’m going to be the lonely loser. My life is going to be ruined, and it is all my fault.

“Oh, no need to cry, Nicky. I’ve brewed up another one of your favorites.” FART “Oh yeah, breathe that in.” FART “Robbie Rockets are the only air you’re gonna get for a long while.” FART “Damn I’m a nasty bastard, haha.” FART “Buckle up my former best friend, NGH… I’ll be launching all night long… UGH”

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