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It feels like some people that we cross paths with are just so we know where to set the bars and remind us about how it should feel to be in love.

“Dear J, looking back at our conversation, it is insane how you accepted me. If given a chance, I wish I’m as murture and less of a thinker as I am now so perhaps we might have a fighting chance to last.

Nonetheless, I still loved every bit of our relationship as it was and can’t be more grateful that with you I experienced love.

Looking at the photo of you and your current, I am truly happy for you and wish that she is the one for you...”

- J.C.

(11/02/2021 04:41)

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Afterall, we all creatures that are not meant to live alone and long to be loved....

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I prayed.

Tonight I prayed, but as bad as I’m at praying because usually my words are just end up going all over the place, instead a rush of emotions came, and I cried.

Instead of praying to God, I cried to him. I told him that despite all the “bad” I have been getting lately, I’m still grateful of him. But in the prayer, I also asked him a favour. I told him that I no longer want to get whatever stupid “ideal” boys that I have in my head. But instead, I just want something good. Anything that God could offer me. It does not have to be boys, or anything fancy. I just want to be as happy as I was back in secondary school days.

Those days are blessings and people I ended up being friends with, are gifts from him. Those days may be dumb, but they are simple. Lastly, those days I feel my emotions, and not emotionally retard. I know how it’s like to feel sad, happy, excited, angry and heart-broken. These days though I may have days that I may feel happy, but my heart can never be as full as I could back then.

I miss simplicity, and all I asked for is to be happy.

- J.C

(30/04/2020 03:22)

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Mahmoud Al-Kurd.

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Elvis Pigsley 🐷😍

via @pig_gaspar

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Great work team

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Funny snaps

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Animal snaps

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animal snaps

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Thought Process

He is nice, but yet unintentionally toxic at the same time.

He has a kind soul, but never realised how sometimes the things he says can actually affect others negatively.

On days that it is true that I made a wrong choice, what I want to hear is “it’s okay, things will be fine”, “it’s never too late”, “we’ll work it out” or something along the line, than “I told you so, you should have taken it from me when I first told you”

On days that I go a little off track, what I want to hear is a reminder than to be given sarcastic comment on how I’m always in my own world or whatever.

When I speak about going for solo trip, I understand that it can be quite dangerous. Instead of hearing things like “You shouldn’t go, you are blur af” and so on, I did rather hear things like “please take care if you are going”.

At first I thought I was being too demanding to ask for him to be more mindful with his words after all we are just friends. Or maybe I was just being too sensitive. But as days go by, I realised how my other friends were reassuring and supportive of me when situation of such happens. That is when I realised I wasn’t asking for too much as a friend.

I guess this is the “rude” that my friend has observed from the way he treats me. Well context, basically she was explaining to me the possible reasons why I always end up dropping the thought of dating him even though we both know that he is the type of guy that will be nice and loyal to his partner.

As kind and loyal as he is, there are certainly gaps to fill. Other than that, there are definitely other reasons why I drop the thought of dating him. But this is one of it, I need someone that helps me to pick myself up, than to tear me down.

Though I must give him the credits that he is also often there for me and constantly trying to change himself which often swad my mind into seeing him.

To be very honest, I really ask myself if I’m setting my expectations too high because everyone is bound to have the imperfections in them. But then again I remember being told not drop my standards to settle for less. I am stuck between the idea of both, and I guess this is why I decided to keep working on myself until I find someone that gives me definite attraction that I should be seeing them.

- J.C

(13/02/2020 00:58)

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