joyschaoticsideblog

[joyschaoticsideblog]

The parallels between Saber and Phainon in the Fate event is killing me. Like I thought this was supposed to be a happy break. I thought this was an apology for traumatizing us. What the fuck is this.

(HSR Fate event spoilers and 3.4 story spoilers under the cut)

Hey Hoyo what the fuck

Like sure deliverance isn’t only associated with Phainon, but the timing makes me think it is in fact a parallel.

And then this is followed up with this:

“Lighting the way for the next hero”, just like how Phainon passes on the title of Khaslana and Deliverer to the trailblazer.

And then later there is this:

Which like. Couldn’t be any more explicit. “Deliver it from destruction” yep this is related to Phainon.

And then this:

The need to fulfill others wishes? Just like how Phainon wants to fulfill everyone else’s wishes? Like this is very obviously another parallel to Phainon. Which is really cool but also I’m concerned of this is foreshadowing for 3.5.

The fact that the patch ends with Saber “going back” makes me worry that Phainon may not make it out of the simulation. I have been hoping and praying that he will “become a real boy” so to speak by becoming a lord Ravager but I worry we may be doomed to be eternally separated. But I guess we’ll see when the next update comes out.

[joyschaoticsideblog]

Something interesting already happened lol

While he was trying to collect trailblaze rewards before going to the Xianzhou, he accidentally got pulled into the Argenti companion quest so we did that.

He thinks Argenti is a bit weird, but his design is very cool and he loves his armor. He also had another one of his gaydar moments, paused the game, looked at me and said, “he likes boys doesn’t he” which was absolutely hilarious.

He loves fighting the bugs so he also thought that was fun.

Now we have started the Xianzhou quest and I feel like I’ll have to give him spoilers after about Tingyun because uh. He’s gotten attached. He says “she’s the prettiest character in the game”. She is also the best support he has on his account right now so that adds to the attachment.

Another fun moment was when Kafka was talking to the express and I was smiling like a goof ball he noticed and rolled his eyes at me and said “you have a thing for evil girls don’t you” and I just about died laughing.

At this point this is just gonna become a HSR blog but I feel the need to share. My brother has started playing HSR via my dad getting an account and giving it to him.

So for context for those unfamiliar with me and my blogs, I am 22, my brother is 9 (will be 10 in august), we are 12 years apart and I like to refer to him as my parents mid life crisis.

We are both diagnosed autistic (got it from our dad) and our hyperfixations tend to bounce off each other. I was grinding a lot to prep for Phainon, while also prepping for art fight (Joyful_Witch is the user btw if anyone is interested lol), so I let him do the combat for me since it was the first time he ever showed interest in the combat, and he got absolutely hooked.

See he’s been on and off watching me play this game since 1.0, so he is familiar with the astral express crew, and amphoreus especially he has gotten quite attached to the characters, so after discussing with my parents, as long as I am present he can play the game (Which I am partially glad for because I don’t think he is prepared for 3.4, especially since Hyacine is his favorite of the Amphoreus cast). He’s a really smart kid so he understands the game “isn’t real” but he still gets emotionally attached, as we all do. Since he is starting from the beginning, he has elected to not watch me play the updates going forward so he can do it himself.

Now that the explanation is out of the way, I’m going to explain the current experience of replaying the game with him, since we just finished Jarilo-VI. He has some very strong opinions on the characters which I find entertaining:

He finds Welt “cool and mysterious”.

Himeko has mom energy.

March is fun but a little overstimulating.

Dan Heng is his absolute FAVORITE. He finds his thirst for knowledge very relatable and likes his calm energy. I think this sorta cements the “Dan Heng is some flavor of neurodivergent” head canon I have. My brother agrees.

He loves the Landau siblings!

Serval is his 2nd favorite because she’s like a “cooler version” of me.

Immediately clocked Bronya and Seele (who he also thinks are very cool). They start d bickering and he paused the game and looked directly at me and went “they’re like you aren’t they. They like kissing girls and they’re gonna become girlfriends”. This kid has great gaydar. Probably because his sister is a raging lesbian.

Hates Sampo with a burning passion. Skips through his dialogue (once he confirms it’s not important with me lmfao), and whenever he is standing around, my brother will put Lynx on his team just to stab Sampo over and over.

Cocolia boss fight was a very interesting experience. He hated her and joked about her being homophobic. Luckily though he is very smart for his age, he did not quite grasp the emotional weight of her dying and was just happy to have “beaten the bad guy”. I was sitting on the couch and trying not to cry because I am a daughter very attached to my mother lmfao.

This has been a hilarious experience, and honestly so fun watching him fall in love with the Jarilo-VI cast (besides Sampo of course lmfao).

I will likely reblog this whenever anything else interesting happens.

[joyschaoticsideblog]

At this point this is just gonna become a HSR blog but I feel the need to share. My brother has started playing HSR via my dad getting an account and giving it to him.

So for context for those unfamiliar with me and my blogs, I am 22, my brother is 9 (will be 10 in august), we are 12 years apart and I like to refer to him as my parents mid life crisis.

We are both diagnosed autistic (got it from our dad) and our hyperfixations tend to bounce off each other. I was grinding a lot to prep for Phainon, while also prepping for art fight (Joyful_Witch is the user btw if anyone is interested lol), so I let him do the combat for me since it was the first time he ever showed interest in the combat, and he got absolutely hooked.

See he’s been on and off watching me play this game since 1.0, so he is familiar with the astral express crew, and amphoreus especially he has gotten quite attached to the characters, so after discussing with my parents, as long as I am present he can play the game (Which I am partially glad for because I don’t think he is prepared for 3.4, especially since Hyacine is his favorite of the Amphoreus cast). He’s a really smart kid so he understands the game “isn’t real” but he still gets emotionally attached, as we all do. Since he is starting from the beginning, he has elected to not watch me play the updates going forward so he can do it himself.

Now that the explanation is out of the way, I’m going to explain the current experience of replaying the game with him, since we just finished Jarilo-VI. He has some very strong opinions on the characters which I find entertaining:

He finds Welt “cool and mysterious”.

Himeko has mom energy.

March is fun but a little overstimulating.

Dan Heng is his absolute FAVORITE. He finds his thirst for knowledge very relatable and likes his calm energy. I think this sorta cements the “Dan Heng is some flavor of neurodivergent” head canon I have. My brother agrees.

He loves the Landau siblings!

Serval is his 2nd favorite because she’s like a “cooler version” of me.

Immediately clocked Bronya and Seele (who he also thinks are very cool). They start d bickering and he paused the game and looked directly at me and went “they’re like you aren’t they. They like kissing girls and they’re gonna become girlfriends”. This kid has great gaydar. Probably because his sister is a raging lesbian.

Hates Sampo with a burning passion. Skips through his dialogue (once he confirms it’s not important with me lmfao), and whenever he is standing around, my brother will put Lynx on his team just to stab Sampo over and over.

Cocolia boss fight was a very interesting experience. He hated her and joked about her being homophobic. Luckily though he is very smart for his age, he did not quite grasp the emotional weight of her dying and was just happy to have “beaten the bad guy”. I was sitting on the couch and trying not to cry because I am a daughter very attached to my mother lmfao.

This has been a hilarious experience, and honestly so fun watching him fall in love with the Jarilo-VI cast (besides Sampo of course lmfao).

I will likely reblog this whenever anything else interesting happens.

[joyschaoticsideblog]

More Honkai Star Rail thoughts while we wait for the update. (3.0-3.3 spoilers included)

I’ve been thinking a lot about Himeko and the fact that she has dreams of things that Honkai Impact Himeko experienced. Once again I don’t have time to write a full thing but here’s a general angsty idea I could not get out of my head:

Himeko wakes up from a nightmare where she is sort of reliving one of HI3 Himeko’s memories where it’s one of the many times something bad happens to Kiana or Kiana almost dies, and she starts having a panic attack thinking Kiana was March. She runs to March’s room and checks on her just to see March still unconscious in the ice but she’s still arguably alive. Then she starts to calm down and breathes a sigh of relief, deciding to go back to sleep in a chair next to March’s bed because she needs that reassurance that she’s still there and she’s still alive.

Bonus: A scene later where Welt checks on March because, that’s his daughter too, and he sees Himeko sleeping in the chair and smiles because she loves March just like his Himeko loved her girls.

Also like, if he was to ever tell Himeko about HI3 Himeko and explain that what she’s dreaming of are memories of HI3 Himeko and he would omit the fact that she died:

While Himeko is stressed about March’s condition, sitting next to her bedside and stroking her hair, she’ll ask Welt, “were the girls okay in the end? Did Himeko Murata take good care of them?”

And Welt would respond with a sad smile, “of course. She loved those girls like they were her daughters. She loved them more than life itself. She did anything and everything to protect them.”

And tears would start welling up in Himeko’s eyes and he’d add,

“March will be okay too. We will figure this out. We always do”

[joyschaoticsideblog]

Haven’t posted on the sideblog in a while. But I have Honkai Star Rail thoughts.

Picture this, karaoke night on the express.

In an ideal world our current artists would be considered “ancient earth artists” on HSR. Also in this scenario the polycule is either canon or this is what triggers the polycule to be canon.

Stelle (or Caelus if you play as Caelus but I’m a lesbian and Stelle is hot so I play as stelle) picks “after midnight” by Chappell Roan.

She’d be super drunk. Or at least tipsy. Because karaoke is fun that way. So she’d be a lot bolder.

“Kinda wanna kiss your girlfriend if you don’t mind” she’d lift March’s chin up and look at her dead in the eyes.

“Kinda wanna kiss your boyfriend if you don’t mind” the same thing with either Sunday or Dan Heng.

“I love a little uh-huh” jerky hip motion that is obviously sexual innuendo while making direct eye contact with whichever boy did not get attention for the previous line.

Chaos ensues.

I feel like Himeko would be greatly entertained and Welt would be mortified. He’d insist on giving them “the talk” the next day and Himeko would be like “they’re fully grown adults Welt”.

I do not have the mental capacity to write this fic but it’s an idea I had to share because astral express polycule brainrot is the only thing giving me joy after the 3.3 update. I miss my girlfriend and my husband and my parents.

I do not plan on writing this any time soon because I’m trying to catch up on a commission, but like. If anyone wants to “steal” the idea feel free lmfao.

[joyschaoticsideblog]

Tweet i wish I made first

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hmmm

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cute gender-neutral things to call your partner

[joyschaoticsideblog]

her: you better not be Warrior Cats Official Mapleshade Large Plush Cat when i get over there

my nefarious ass:

[joyschaoticsideblog]

Episode 6 ruined me and I have brainrot so here is a fic idea I do not have the skills to write but I would love to see someone write (if you do plz send it to me)

So like. 2 possibilities.

1. Episode 6 did happen. Mobius goes back to his kids. Finds a note from his deceased wife (who was in fact a loki variant. In this au at least), that has her like, last wishes of where she wants them to move if she ever dies. And this is either going to be New Asgard or wherever Thor is (I think it’s New Asgard but I haven’t seen the movie for a bit) with his new adopted daughter. And like. Mobius’ kids are gonna go to school with Thor’s daughter and they’re gonna become besties and Thor will be like “huh these kids remind me of my brother” and then they’ll have a play date. And Thor when going over to their house will see pics on the wall of mobius and his wife and the kids and he’ll piece it together and be like “oh shit” and chaos ensues.

2. Same premise. But instead. Episode 6 didn’t happen. Loki somehow fixes everything without having to be alone. Maybe he’s still a time god and can just. Be in two places at once? Idk. But he moves in with Mobius and his kids. And becomes their dad. And they move to New Asgard. And Loki disguised himself because he’s afraid of Thor’s reaction. And Thor figures it out. And chaos ensues.

Please for the love of all things unholy I need one of these fics plz someone wrote it

[joyschaoticsideblog]

Besties I strongly dislike Scott Cawthon but the fnaf movie was good and I’m annoyed that it was good. Like. The joy I felt watching the movie (and also cried like twice cus it hit way too close to home as an older sibling) is unparalleled. But also. Scott Cawthon is an awful person and supports people who want me dead? And also doesn’t believe women should have the right to basic medical care? And. My feelings are so conflicting rn. I want to separate my love for the series from Scott Cawthon. But if I did that I wouldn’t be any better than HP fans.

I think it’s okay to have these complicated feelings and talk about them. I’m still trying to figure it out myself?

I guess the big difference between JKR and Scott is that he avoids talking about his opinions and the only reason we know these things is due to his voting record and who he gives money to (which btw I don’t believe donating to lgbt charities makes up for voting for the party that wants to commit genocide against us. It’s still shitty. Like yay he’s donating to the Trevor project but also. Damn voting for these people that want us to not have rights and don’t want us to be alive really hurts).

He is still actively harming the community. Even if he isn’t outwardly spewing hateful rhetoric (unless he’s gotten worse. Or unless his opinions have rapidly changed over the past couple of years. If so please feel free to correct me, just not without sources).

But his series has basically transcended his control. It’s not controlled by him. It’s controlled by the fans. Half the shit that’s canon now wouldn’t be canon without the fans and it’s this big collaborative effort and that’s what’s so beautiful about it. Unlike jkr whose views and specifically racism are baked into her properties.

But he still gets money from it.

And he could be using that money to support some really awful people.

Idk. It’s complicated.

I don’t like or support Scott Cawthon. But I love fnaf. I grew up with it. I love the community. And it really influenced my love for horror media. And gods this movie was great. I had such a good time watching it.

I don’t know what point I’m trying to get at.

I guess I’m just sorta venting.

It sucks loving something when it’s creator who actively gains money from it supports some truly awful people.

I want to be able to put my feelings aside so I can joyfully rant about this movie without mentioning “gosh I wish Scott wasn’t involved” but that obviously isn’t the case.

I don’t expect any response to this post. Im just sorta putting my feelings out there into the void. And if someone relates I hope they know they aren’t alone.

And if you’re gonna say something hateful or something that outwardly supports conservatives I will gladly block you. There is no excusing the active genocide being perpetrated by the Republican Party against the queer community, but more specifically trans people. And if you support that then you can gladly get the fuck off my page. I will not tolerate bigotry.

Also don’t harass anyone mentioned in this post. I really don’t want their fans to harass me and don’t want them to have a reason to. I’m not very popular but last time I posted about Scott I got a bunch of death threats from a bunch of middle aged white men and trolling teenagers. And I do not have the mental capacity to deal with that right now. I’m dealing with a nasty bout of Covid and a nicely sized second degree burn from a cooking accident on top of my chronic illness I don’t need to be harassed.

K thanks bye

[joyschaoticsideblog]

About the Yandev situation:

I'm more confused why he's facing punishment now for what he's done. He's been accused of this stuff before, and he's been accused of general pest behavior in the past. Hell, I assumed most people hated him purely because of how badly he sucks at making a game. Knowing people were still into him despite his controversies being within a single Youtube search is disappointing, to say the least.

I think this is important to say, as someone's who's experienced a crumb of attention from a younger audience: If a content creator really loves you, they won't want to be your friend. They are so concerned about making sure you understand the boundary between you two, it sometimes comes off as being cold. They'll block you first if you try to get too personal with them. They will be friendly in public, but they will never invite you somewhere alone with them. They will never want your Snapchat, your email, your phone number- nothing. You are a username and an icon to them, and sometimes a face they'll forget. That's how it should be. Expecting any more should be met with an iron wall of rejection. That's what boundaries are.

To the fans and other creators that stayed, even when there was plenty of reasons not to: Shame on you. You put each other in danger, and you need to support his victims the loudest now. You aren't the problem itself- that belongs to yandev alone- but you are part of it.

Quite frankly, I'm fucking sick and tired of the "but muh Fandom", ESPECIALLY from people my age and older. Get the fuck over yourself, you literal fucking nerd. Your anime clubs are full of pedophiles, transphobes, and racists. How you can stomach those "cherished memories" knowing it was there is beyond me. Either choke them out of your groups or leave the group. Sometimes you can salvage a space, sometimes you can't- it sucks, I know.

Do it anyways. This isn't a request.

[joyschaoticsideblog]

likes charge, reblogs cast or whatever

[joyschaoticsideblog]

I was waiting until he would a response and, well, I’m just gonna take a few things he said from his own Wordpress.

“Right off the bat, she let me know that she was 16. At the time, I didn’t even perceive this as a problem. “What do I care what her age is? She’s just a funny fan of the game who wants to talk to me.”

“I made the same type of vulgar jokes that I make when voice chatting with my other friends. This was an absolutely unacceptable mistake. No grown-up should ever use adult language or make adult jokes in the presence of a minor. “

“Occasionally, she would say something flirty towards me. Most of the time, I would shut that down immediately, and refused to reciprocate. However, there were times when I didn’t shut it down, and let her talk to me that way without stopping her.”

I know he likes to be wordy, but I can also read through them.

Look, I already stopped being a fan ages ago. I did admit to it also when I said I regretted being in the fandom. (Not like certain people who were against him were better either. Remember Apies and GameSleuth?) Either way, I did have a bit of hope that maybe he would listen to his critics that wanted to help him, stop distracting himself with excuses, etc.

But now that it came to this, especially by his words and the voice call, I genuinely hope his game crashes and burns. If you still wanna support the game because I know someone out there will, then be my guest.

But if I do see anyone of you try to say how the girl was in the wrong on the same level as the dev or some other nonsense like that, I’m chewing you out.

[joyschaoticsideblog]

[joyschaoticsideblog]

I can’t stop laughing at this 🤣😂🤣

[joyschaoticsideblog]

ryan referring to him and shane as “mom and dad” 😭