juneemery

[juneemery]

You’re expected to be somebody when you’re a nobody

But when you’re somebody, they don’t want you to be anybody

[juneemery]

Without

If you were able to survive without them before, Then what makes this separation so difficult? My hypnotherapist asked Because a year ago, I was not aware of what I was missing I hadn’t discovered how surreal life could be If you have somebody So if I’m back to where I was before Then wouldn’t this all be one great disappointment? I was climbing up a mountain before I met him And when our paths crossed, I finally reached the top, the apex But now it just feels like I’m falling down And I’m bound to hit my head somehow

[juneemery]

Ephemeral Sunsets

I don’t know if I loved the sunsets Or if I just liked you there Because when you disappeared, the sky seemed to fade along with you And not in the beautiful way where contrasting colors blend No, the sunsets just seemed to vanish out of nowhere Maybe it was there, but it felt like it wasn’t Because the image didn’t last forever And neither did you You and the sun are one and the same Your nonexistence blinded me So all there was to see was colorless depths

[juneemery]

Blink, Blank, Gone

Blink That’s your portrait Blank Is your reputation Gone Preparing for the upcoming era of defamation Your story is trending Front cover in bold Huge font with scattered words soon to be untold They hate you But you’re not hated enough Any publicity is good publicity You have none though, which is only bad publicity You wanted to be a hardbound novelist But all you amounted to was the grocery shopping list Raspberries, milk, what else am I forgetting? A box of chocolates of course to let myself down Tracing my thumb along the heart Wondering how nice it would be if these were bought by somebody else To me In cursive, italicized, read the letters: I L-o-v-e Y-o-u Who loves me? The press certainly doesn’t

Blink That’s your memory Blank Is your memoir Gone Your visions are subpar You live in Reno now and visit Emerald Bay whenever you’re feeling uninspired Home plastered with photo frames Displaying stock photo children that aren’t yours Paparazzi watching you at those venues Writing your will on an old Thai food menu They love you But you’re not loved enough Conspiracies float around, painting you as a monster When you never were at all You only received recognition after you stopped chasing it And by then, you were already done

[juneemery]

The Dead End

Big Bear Lake I’m here to escape I haven’t been back in twenty years And it looks quite the same But different as well When we go back to the place we once loved We not only are there But are witnesses foreseeing the event of the recapturing of the soul that faded long ago You’re born and reborn again and again Because every time you hold onto the sentiment you once knew From your abstract idea of your forgotten location You drift closer to your old being Your old being, being someone you grew apart from Two decades in the past It’s inevitable that we will view things differently than we had back then Every minute wasted is a whole other journey in which nobody has experienced before Every journey is never the exact same in its course of path In its remorse of wrath Although the result stays the same The only reason it doesn’t is because at this point in time, you are an entirely different person You found new lovers, new album covers Hung high like a giant sequoia with no mother

And whenever you decide to leave yourself presently and return to the one buried deep When you decide as a tree leaf to fall a myriad of feet down to the ground Present becomes past and past becomes a new beginning Though a new start doesn’t sound quite as glamorous as the embodiment of an old memory It’ll still be a chapter to remember for forever Whether what the lines between spark yesterday’s guilt or tomorrow’s euphoria or today’s melancholy You live through the tribulation because you live to suffer and suffer to keep sane all the same Every chapter is a chronicle of speed bumps in which nobody has read before The pages are what guide you towards lands you have never been, people you have never met, and dreams only your unconscious has seen Routes will lead you in directions with no dead end in sight eternally And it will feel like in each page, you’ll encounter what hasn’t been discovered What’s frightening in some way because you turned left instead of right or backward instead of forward You could’ve gone the path you hadn’t chose and the chapter would’ve contained memories you never got the chance to deeply know Except the result would have stayed the exact same The result was the dead end