kangdaedefector

[kangdaedefector]

“He knew me by heart. It infuriated me that he knew me by heart.”

—

Notes from Underground 

by Fyodor Dostoevsky (via

drearydoll

)

[kangdaedefector]

[kangdaedefector]

Gabrielle Bates, from "Eastern Washington Diptych", Judas Goat

[kangdaedefector]

://kangdaejackson_thedeserter.exe

dossier | visage | musings | open starters | connections

[kangdaedefector]

if ur in a tough situation and don't know what to do immediately escalate to violence. follow me for more life advice ❤️

[kangdaedefector]

[kangdaedefector]

Kang-Dae Jackson || 29 || #901 || Big Matthew || Closed

Personality:

a dog , a brute , too smart to be so caustic. there’s always a sarcastic bite of a reply on his tongue. there’s always a fight in his bones. he’s calmed down a lot now that he’s an adult , boot camp beat a lot of the need to gnash his teeth at the world out of him. it’s less reflexive , but anyone with a brain can see his always figuratively gnawing at the bit that’s holding his jaws apart , keeping him from clenching so tight he breaks his own teeth to spite his face. when he was younger it was a loud tone colored with curses & bruised knuckles because he preferred to do the talking with his fists. now that he’s older & forced to mature , it’s constant pinched eyebrows & a grating drawl that’s somehow simultaneously uncaring & pissed off. untrusting & suspicious of those around him. he prefers to keep to himself & is a healthy combination of his military training & his base crass disposition. he struggles to make substantial connections because of this inherent distrust , but as far as he’s concerned , it’s what’s kept him alive through his high profile work & now this apocalyptic outbreak. all of that being said , he’s intelligent , he’s realistic , he gets shit done. he can think through a problem or a plan , & he can execute flawlessly because being angry at the world doesn’t make unable to function without exploding - not that he doesn’t like to explode - he just now has an understanding that it shouldn’t be the automatic answer to all of life’s problems. when someone is able to push through the nearly instinctual way he bites & barks , they find a man who is endlessly devoted to them. someone who would bend over backwards & burn down what’s left of the world just because they said they needed the light to see & keep warm. that’s the thing to know about kang - he does it all the way , or he ignores it entirely ; there’s no middle ground & he’s never half-assed a thing in his life. the worst person to have against you , & the best person to have standing next to you. he’s a dog , through & through.

Biography:

growing up in the texas suburbs of carrolton did kang-dae jackson a lot of favors. never had a hand-me-down , got the antique ‘64 mustang shelby on his 16th birthday because he’d kept his grades up. one could look at his track record in school & say that maybe the privilege gave him too many favors - he was held back two grades in elementary school on grounds of not being mature enough to be promoted , he bullied his best friend relentlessly all through middle school. he frustrated the hell out of his mother & school teachers & admins because he was obviously smart , his grades reflected that ; but his delinquent file & in school suspension report folder was nearly as thick as all the tests his mother kept that had that shiny , red ‘A+’ at the top.

he calmed down more when he hit high school. he was already professionally shitty to almost everyone he came into contact with , & puberty actually helped him balance out a little bit in his last years of lower education. instead of outright bullying his best friend ( because he had a giant crush on him ) , he was more protective & an awkward but supportive actual friend to him. instead of punching the people who pissed them off , he decimated them with his words instead , which still landed him in detention , but he was seen as much less of a volatile problem & more of an occasional hazard. not that the private boy’s prep school he went to appreciated his behavior on any level , which is why when the military recruiters came by his senior year , they all but shoved him their way - telling that marine corps salesman ‘have we got the perfect boy for you!’. when kang mocked the surprise on his face at the reserve pitch , the uniformed gentleman knew he’d found a winner. graduation came & went quickly , & kang’s mother was equal parts sad & relieved to help her son pack her bags to be shipped off to san diego for boot camp.

boot camp was the ( literal ) kick to the teeth that kang needed to finally understand that being so automatically abrasive as a response to every piece of stimuli in his life was not the way to go. he learned respect , he learned to wait & watch , he learned that there was merit & power in biting his tongue. some people couldn’t handle the extremes , some people were damaged from the experience , but kang was one of the few that really took to the training that the military had to offer. unaware , he was watched by his superiors from day one. it wasn’t often that someone with his test scores also had his disposition ; they knew if he could shape out & fill out , he would be a force to recon with. & by the time basic training was over & they were ready to pick an MOS. . . they had no idea how correct they were. before he could fill out his paperwork to make his own selection , he was approached by the blacksuits & asked about his family , his connections , any & every thing he’d ever done that might have a paper trail. at first he didn’t understand the run down , but then it became clear that he was being vetted for secruity clearence , they wanted him to go special ops. he was never asked , he was never given another option , & at first it had pissed him off , jaw ticking next to his ear - but he fell into the training so effortlessly , passed every exam without flaws & consistently showed top scores , that he learned to put a little faith in the powers that be. maybe if the right ones were watching , it wasn’t so bad to go with the flow.

from there , everything always happened so quickly. he was dragged from one place to another , more shinies added to his chest , more badges sewn into his uniforms. . . seldom getting the opportunity to go home & see his mom or his friends back home. he quickly became one of the most trusted marines to do high - level security duty , black suits & corded devices in his ears as he transported senators & presidents & foreign liaisons. he got to travel the world & see some cool people & see some cool places , but he became nameless , faceless , forgettable. he enjoyed the work at first , but as the years dragged on , he liked it less & less. he missed his home. he missed his mom , he missed his best friend. but duty was duty & he’d sold away his freedom to the military so he was left with no choice.

until the outbreak. he’d all but been thrown on a private jet back to the states. they knew of the outbreak before the media did , & he was able to cross the border back in without a hitch. they shipped him straight to new york city , there was a team from the cdc that was having an issue controlling the environment enough to do their work , & it was his job to keep the crawlers off them so they could do their potential world - saving work. his anxieties had been with his mom back home , but they’d assured him nothing had reached as far as texas yet. she was aware of the situation because of the news , & he demanded & cussed until he got a phone call to make sure she was safe before he stepped of the plane. thoughts steady on home , on the people from what used to be his life. . . 

just to step off the plane & see a green mop of hair that he used to shove down. those pretty curls that he grew to think were so adorable , above freckles that dusted tan checks , above a mouth that was twisted in concentration as he leaned over a giant portable suit-case computer that was bright & green against his glasses. the object of his life-long obsession , his best friend that he thought after so frequently over the last several years , right before his eyes , being the subject he was supposed to protect. the boy he regretted bullying once he had vision enough to pull his head out of his ass. funny how things worked , huh ?

if things happened quickly before , now they were speeding by kang in a manner he could barely keep up with. training kicked in & he moved automatically , bullet after bullet between the eyes of any crawler he could snipe , charged with protection and saving ammunition & supplies. the team outside of sev himself was small , & a few of them got injured , a few of them kicked it , hell a few of them even ran in a selfish attempt to save their hides. but not sev , never sev. focused on the goal , so focused that when the muttering about ‘not being able to do enough , or see enough from here ’ got louder, kang was hell-bent on doing whatever he could to see his vision through , even if it meant deserting his post. & then like the universe was just as hell-bent on delivering sev to what he needed , their camp was over-run & the team was dispersed , forced to separate. kang kept to the scientists heels , rifle in one hand , field knife in the other until they reached a beacon of light called the wexley.

the occupants readily let them in , seemingly thankful for another capable set of hands. they’d quickly find that kang’s loyalty was already totally tied up & spoken for. . . 

Pre Outbreak Occupation: USMC Special Ops Previous Zombie Experience: very up close & personal as he protected a base camp at the edge of the island before literally fighting his way into the wexler. Martial Status: Single Children:  N/A Residence: Loft #901 Years residing at The Wexley: 0 Connections: 

Seven Du - Ensured that Sev made it safely to the Wexley. Currently rooming with them as they’re unsure they can trust any of the Wexley’s residents.

[kangdaedefector]

CLOSED ft. @biohqzards | #901 , their penthouse | early december , late in the night

dark hues swept of the open shared space of their new apartment , giving a healthy once over to approve all of the cleaning that he'd been doing over the last several days. it hadn't been filthy by any means , but the dust that builds up in an unoccupied space is something no one can help , & he'd been a little fuckin' manic about making the space meet his standard of livable. though , sev hadn't seemed to give one damn. had set up his suitcase laptop & all his science shit all over what was meant to be a dining room table without a care for any mess or balled up pieces of trash that might have found their way onto it's surface. kang wasn't bothered by it , it's not like the'd be sitting to have a proper meal any time in the forseeable future , so what did he care ? as long as yeon was able to do his thing , he was content. he crossed the room to sit in one of the two chairs by the table , freshly scrubbed down & no longer slightly sticky against his the skin that stuck out of the muscle shirt he wore. his tone was curious , blonde locks shifting as he tilted his head at the numbers on the screen , " what ya workin' on ? i know when we left camp you were still tryin' ta... " he pauses , trying to remember the gargin , " isolate ? some parts of the virus sequence ? did ya finish that or nah ? " he didn't really understand it , & didn't to pretend to - but he at least tried to show that he'd been listening. their new relationship was tense at best , & awkward when neither of them could figure out what to say. a lifetime of memories put to the side while they navigated whatever... this thing that they were all but forced into was. kang tried to sigh in that moment , & instead just put his energy into looking interested , showing sev that he was engaged & ready for him to info dump his science shit onto his military grunt built brain.

[kangdaedefector]

OPEN | wexley's atrium | early december ;

the distrust that felt heavy on his shoulders with the new place they were calling home definitely swung both ways. they'd all but crashed through the front doors , some dude name ashton ( funnily enough , someone he'd trained with in the corps ) holding it open for them on his way back in. he seemed alright , but for the most part , kang couldn't help his honest & immediate suspicion of every single person they'd come across since living here. they'd at least been smart enough to read that he would not be separated from sev , & their room together he supposed could be counted as a blessing. that being said , he could hardly expect them to accept either of them , but especially him , without an equal ( & healthy ) dose of weariness. so , he was always surprised when someone took one look at his permanent pinched eyebrows & noted resting bitch face & decide to give a hello regardless of it. a small wrinkle appeared in the flesh of his forehead as his eyebrows raised , cutting the person who'd interrupted his daily patrol walk of every floor with a kind (?) word. he did his best to plaster a neutral , hopefully almost pleasant look onto his features , " eh ? you need somethin' ? "

[kangdaedefector]

Friedrich Nietzsche(II) ,Arabelle Sicardi,Fyodor Dostoyevsky (II) , dvoyd, Mary Shelley

[kangdaedefector]

I FELL ONTO LOVE LIKE A SWORD

yves olade // ada limon // franz kafka // richard siken // x // richard siken // jessa crispin

[kangdaedefector]

Underbelly, Nicole Homer

[ID: I loved someone / and I failed at it. Let me say it  another way: I like to call myself wound / but I will answer to knife.]

[kangdaedefector]

I said, “Don’t touch my mouth. There’s teeth in there,”

and you replied,

“There’s teeth everywhere on you.”

— Avni Vyas, from Little God

[kangdaedefector]

Antibody, Sonya Vatomsky

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BM