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kapowsandinterrobangs · 10 months ago

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It's almost the end of August '24,

gosh how fast time flies. I'm currently 28 years, 7 months and 2 days. Sylvia sent me a Tiktok slideshow today. It was a series of illustrations showing a 5 year old version of me (aka your inner child) talking to me, asking me what I'm up to.

I think 5 year old me would find it very hard to get 28 year old me, so I think I'll talk to 16 year old me instead. -----------

Hey girl,

By 28, you would have tried smoking/e-cigarettes (one puff respectively and nothing more - you don't like the way it stays in your throat for the entire day), been on so many business trips you took the plane 18 times in a single year, joined a huge e-commerce company only to be laid off 1.5 years later, ate wagyu, and then accidentally ate pork (next time a menu says serrano sourdough crumble, believe me when I say it has NOTHING to do with bread), become a kpop stan, gone on dates (yes!! you!!), gone to fucking Europe with friends, tried salsa dancing, tried 3 different industries before delving into HR, graduated with a degree in Economics and Politics), got promoted in your job, learned to watch movies (and generally do fun stuff) alone and end up enjoying it, tried bowling, fallen in love with spin class, tried so many different restaurants you would never have thought you could afford, diversified your closet (thank u uniqlo, mango, h&m), generally wake up most days feeling good (no deperesso), and gone for 384,324 concerts. Well, not in that order of course. By 28, you would also have smashed at your O Levels but flunked your A Levels (not once but twice), discovered that the boy whom you thought was your first major crush (can you consider it a first love if he never liked you back?) turned out to be gay (and that's why he won't ever like you back), still not have a boyfriend (despite going on multiple dates), survived a very wtf friendship breakup, survived Jeap leaving for Manila, Nadja leaving for Amsterdam, and Kah Heng leaving for Perth, still have a tumultuous relationship with the demands of your religion, started going for coaching/therapy (mother issues LMAO), STILL get your attire checked by your mother before you leave for work, built a very bad habit of taking Grab rides to work, still haven't gotten your driving license yet, and have gained even more weight (LOL sorry). I think what I'm trying to say is that life has turned out fairly okay in 2024, and honestly I really am enjoying the ride. And I know you're worried sick about exam results + generally unsure who you are as a person, plus letting parents down, but... eh, you'll be fine. You will have fewer existential crises as you learn more about yourself and become surer of who you are, and what you stand for. I do want to thank you for developing a good level of optimism and generally positive outlook in life. Thanks to you, it brought me through some really shitty parts of my journey and delivered me to the other side. Some insecurities never really go away, but that's OK. Anyways, love you very much.

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kapowsandinterrobangs · 2 years ago

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It's December again,

which meant that Jeap's in town for Christmas and New Year's.

We met today for a damn good nasi padang meal at Hjh Maimunah and to catch up as usual. Jeap was only craving begedil and lemak siput sedut (water snails cooked in coconut gravy), and I wasn't in the mood for beef rendang, so today's choice of dishes were evidently a lot more modest than usual.

We also drank teh while spilling teh about work, life, love, privacy and data protection (Did you know that apps requiring facial verification are likely to have started recording your phone screen even before you took the verification selfie? Or that in order to train their algorithms and models, private companies can obtain data about real people from governments and it's all perfectly legal? Well, now you know).

One of the things we talked about were how our relationships with our parents have evolved over the years as we grow older, and part of this relationship is the unspoken understanding that for kids like us, we are our parents' retirement plans. And it starts off with the household financials gradually becoming ours to shoulder as well.

As an example, I've sort of reluctantly taken the financial responsibility of paying for my sister's math tuition classes to the tune of $360 a month. My recent raise was about that much and a little bit more? So you can guess where my raise is going every month.

And it's something that I'm still wrestling with. On one hand, that's actually a lot of money committed that could have gone to my savings or something else (a Polène maybe?).

But on the other hand, this is me paying it forward. My parents did let me graduate debt-free and paid for all my sec sch, jc, and university tuition fees. Ibu baked over the weekends so they could afford extra money to send me to uni. Ayah worked day and night, every single day, driving on the roads of Singapore. All the sacrifices made on so many fronts just to make sure their firstborn had everything she needed to start her life in the real world. So this is the least that I should do to give back right?

I think the work that I need to do is to do it with sincerity, and to change the way that I think about this. It takes a village to raise a child, and of course that village includes me.

And one more thing that Jeap and I talked about is that because they spent their lives, energy, and money in bringing us up to the point that we were able to start our lives debt-free, they really don't have much left for themselves in old age. And who else can they depend on in old age if not us, the children that they've worked so hard to raise? This is just a small example of the growing expectation for me to pay for a specific thing in the household. Sure, I've been giving my parents a filial piety contribution every month which is most likely used to pay bills. But with this, I think it marks the start of bigger, heavier responsibilities ahead.

Anyway, adulthood am I right?

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kapowsandinterrobangs · 3 years ago

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I first downloaded

dating apps right before my internship interview with Paktor in year 2 of university purely for research (I nearly forgot that I worked there for a while; felt like a fever dream), but only after 4 years of mindless swiping on my phone did I take matches and connections more seriously.

2022 became my year of experimentation with Tinder, Coffee Meets Bagel, Bumble, and Muzz.

I spent about a year fucking around*. Here's what I found out:

When you fool around, you get fools

Since I jumped into this with the intention of dating to experience, I wasn't filtering as tightly as I normally would (but also it wasn't like I was swiping right on everybody) since I was open to meeting any Tom, Dick and Harry as long as we matched and the conversation flowed.

I met some cool people, like the national powerlifting coach and the Grab Delivery walker/lawyer-in-training. But those were diamonds in the rough.

I also ended up meeting some characters which I felt were rather dubious. Ok maybe not dubious? But I guess because there was a mismatch in our expectations of what each other should be, I felt like I was meeting dubious characters.

There was the boy who couldn't keep his hands off me the first time we met because he was testing waters and I wasn't firm with my personal boundaries (partly my fault here), the investment banker who was clearly in love with his best friend (and I'm pretty sure he farted in my fucking presence while in the train), and the urban farmer who has... some inclinations of his own (which I'm glad I didn't hang out long enough with to fully discover).

And then I met people who would probably have been nice people, except that our objectives weren't very aligned. I came across a couple of people who were dating to marry, and to them I probably felt like a bird waiting for an opportunity to escape - very flighty and non-committal.

Perhaps if I cared more about being intentional and selective about the people I meet and build connections with, I probably wouldn't feel like I received the shorter end of the stick.

So what does this mean for the future? I think I will still be open to meeting anybody and everybody, but also trust my gutfeel instead of betting on the wildcard ever so often. I mean, I'm not a risk-taker at heart, so for starters maybe it's better to stick to the rivers and the lakes that I'm used to. Above all, what's more important is to go into things with intention and clarity, and stick with it to avoid wasting my (and other people's) time.

2. Long phone calls don't mean anything

One of the first few people I met was somebody I spent days talking on the phone with all night till the early AM. One thing I've learned is that when it comes to a vibe check, long phone calls over days and weeks on end just cannot beat a good old meetup.

The first match that I had long phone calls with was RJ, a seasoned sweet-talker. I think early twenties Yasmin would have swooned, but mid twenties Yasmin with the fully-developed prefrontal cortex had a healthy level of skepticism (though that's not to say that I wasn't giggling like a schoolgirl). After weeks of chatting on the phone, we met up for real because I finally relented (...in the middle of Ramadan...I know...) but it didn't work out because he didn't respect my personal boundaries and was very handsy (in the middle of Ramadan! I know!).

There was also the boy who was going to sit for the bar at the end of the year. whom I scheduled weekly phone calls with for almost a month. We vibed so well on the phone and I felt like we got each other because I was telling him things I shouldn't ever reveal to a stranger. Unfortunately, when we met, I felt... nothing. It was a bit like hanging out with Shaun (Lim TJ, not Yeo JB. The latter would have been a little alarming haha).

Could we have saved each other's time if we just met from the get-go? I think so.

3. Be clear about your personal boundaries and stick to your guns

This was a lesson that I learned from my experience with RJ. In one of our phone calls, I think he was trying to suss out where I stand on physical touch, which was a major love language for him. And as a Good Muslim Girl, I was frank with what I was comfortable and uncomfortable with. So when he started getting very comfortable with massaging my shoulders, putting his arm around me and poking my stomach , I was like ????

Though truthfully speaking, it's not like I didn't have a part to play in this. Part of me was stupefied - I didn't know what to do even though I felt uncomfortable and just froze because well, this kind of tomfoolery never happened to me before. Another part of me was trying to make concessions for him and trying to meet him in the middle because, well, I liked him.

On the MRT ride back home, he mentioned something which pissed me off to no end. "I didn't know you're okay with physical touch. I thought you didn't like it at all," he said.

God, I felt like a fucking fool. I was so disappointed in myself for not being firm with my boundaries which could have possibly sent mixed signals (no resistance means okay right?). More importantly I was so fucking pissed with him. Because it's not like I didn't articulate my boundaries. And it's not like he forgot. He knew and remembered, but he still went ahead to touch me like that to see how far he could go. Fucking hell.

I went home feeling... dirty. Violated almost? Anyways, after that, whatever good feelings I had towards RJ just dissipated. What do the Zoomies call it nowadays? The ick? Yeah, I caught it.

So this was a big lesson. There is no good in somebody who doesn't respect your boundaries, no matter how much you like them.

Separately, I'm not going to be too mad at myself about this anyway, because the Year of Experimentation was also for me to figure out what I'm comfortable with and what are truly No Go Zones.

And I think I came out of this Year of Experimentation with the realization that my desire for a modern, secular, dating experience just cannot beat my inherent fear of God (surprise surprise! It's still there!). There was very little chance of me being physically and emotionally okay with transgressing the traditionally conservative parameters laid out by the religion when it comes to this. And I think before 2022 I already knew this? I guess I just needed to confirm it.

4. I too had been a shitty match

I've talked about meeting my share of fools, so you would think that when I meet a good one, I would treat the person right.

No I didn't.

I kind of fucked things up by ghosting him just because there wasn't any romantic vibez after meeting him for the first time. And this was after weeks of building a connection through phone calls on Telegram, so really, it wasn't like it was a casual fling so there was no reason for me to do so.

So yeah, I was the shitty match.

RM was studying for the bar at the end of the year and was doing Grab delivery at the same time. He was a person who was on his way to meeting his potential and you know I love me a 'started from the bottom, now we're here' type of character. He was ticking almost every box in my list - calm and reassuring, logical, good sense of humour, genuine, complete gentleman. He really loved his family and honestly, If I was Dating to Marry instead of Dating to Experience, I think that would also have been very important to me.

Unfortunately, I didn't feel any sparks when we met. I also declined when he tried to pay for my meal (but I think this was my masculine energy in motion; I've since learned to accept things like this graciously) and didn't put in my 100% in our conversations that day.

After we met, he texted to ask when we would meet again. I told him I was a little tired and my social battery was really low (it was true; the week that I met him, I had arranged three dates with three separate people so I was mentally pooped - my fault!).

I told him I would let him know when I'm free.

I just didn't text him back after that.

(As I'm writing all of this, I realized I fucked things up with him up for real. Oh well.)

Sigh. Lesson? Don't do this. Be a fucking mature adult and instead, say things with my chest. Ghosting is for cowards and if you're not one, don't do it.

5. Dating as a Hijabi Muslim Girl on secular dating platforms is... truly something

It's harder to get matches because many people are clear about not wanting to date us which is completely fair to be honest. One is right to assume that we're more conservative and if you want something easy, smooth, and hassle-free, it's much easier to swipe left on us. Also, while I am open to all colours and creed, people may not necessarily feel the same way.

I also end up growing a much thicker skin by initiating conversations with people I've matched with because I know the pay-off from starting one with me probably isn't very high (no sex, no holding hands... where's the fun in that :P). And sometimes, I get ignored, so I completely understand guys who say they start conversations but get no response despite matching. Y'all do it to me too! hahaha

I did get a little butthurt as first. But then I saw a Tiktok which talked about you should treat dating the way you would with prospecting for clients. Some leads are cold leads and if it goes nowhere, that's okay, don't take it personally. It's not meant to be! You move on to the next.

But there's also the other end.

Most have heard of the Yellow Fever. But have you heard of Muslimah Mania? I've also come across dating profiles on Muzz who clearly fetishize Muslim girls so honestly... that was an experience. If I had a dollar for every time a match connects with me for a one night stand/ fwb arrangement (without even getting to know me first!), I would have enough money to pay for a cup of bubble tea from Woobbee, which isn't a lot but it sure as hell is surprising.

I also secretly suspect that RJ was one, because he did reveal to me that he had been on Muzz (a Muslim dating app) before despite being a free-thinking Chinese boy from Malaysia (I should have known that this was a red flag). So I'm glad things didn't work out with us.

Anyways, I think I came out of this year of Dating to Experience learning a little bit more about myself and that is pretty valuable too. I'm glad I didn't completely shut off from dating like a prude. I mean, how can I say it's not for me if I didn't try it out right? Haha

So what does this mean for me in 2023? Honestly, I don't know. But what I know is that I'm tired from connecting, and matching, and "Hi! How's life?" at the moment. I'm going to dedicate at least the first half of 2023 to myself. There are far more exciting things to look forward to and focus on like my new job!

I guess boys will have to wait :P

*Figuratively speaking. Don't worry! Still a Good Muslim Girl at heart.

#dating

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kapowsandinterrobangs · 3 years ago

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Some weeks, it's

easy and I don't think about us at all. But some days I see the menu of a drinks stall or walk by stupid Uniqlo, and then memories come rushing back again.

I hated how it happened; I truly did. At first, I thought it was because of the suddenness of it all (at least to me). I didn't have time to truly receive and digest things, and how I felt cornered from three different directions, each with different issues of their own. Sure, they had time to convene, mull over, strategise and come to terms with things on their own before dealing the final blow. It's clear they had made up their mind; seeing me was just to deliver the death sentence. I was amazingly pretty much clueless, and so I wasn't in the head space to receive what they had in store for me. But over time, I have also come to realise that what I hated more was the lack of control that I had over how it all fell apart.

It's funny how some time last year, when we were all still together, chilling in one of those cafes, I thought in my head about how different we all were, and then wondered at one point would we all drift apart. When one of us gets married and have a kid? When another one of us moves abroad? When life just drowns us one by one?

Oh boy was I was wrong - it would happened a lot sooner. And we wouldn't all drift apart. More like I would be unanimously removed hahaha

Once in a while, the grief would come like an unexpected wave. But slowly, I no longer mourn how it all happened. I no longer mourn about what I had lost.

Instead, I choose to think about old memories as fond memories when they pop up in my mind. Sometimes I would come across an item and think to myself, ooh so-and-so would love this as a birthday gift. The bus drives past Nassim Hill and I think about the funny shenanigans that happened when I was there with them.

But that's it.

These thoughts are reserved for the people that I knew them as in good old times, for the people that I've memorialised in my mind. Not the people they are in the present.

I guess they're finally dead to me the same way I am to them.

#movingon

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kapowsandinterrobangs · 4 years ago

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You said if

you had been selfish, you would have left the house a long time ago. If you had, then would all my resentment towards you be justified?

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kapowsandinterrobangs · 4 years ago

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the gift that keeps on

giving. Oh 2020, how I will not miss you at all.

Today is the 31st of December, the last day of this miserable, disastrous year. And yet, it still continues to up the ante till the very last minute.

The plan today was supposed to be spent with KH at Hajjah Maimunah for a hearty nasi padang lunch before meeting the EL girls. But it ended up with me losing my phone when I dropped it at the parking lot as I alighted from my Gojek and had it run over probably by the same car. I was running late for lunch (in the end there’s no lunch), had to cancel my DBS card (which I had kept in my a card sleeve attached to my phone) in case it got swiped and had to use ibu’s phone to Find My Mobile.

When I got my phone back from a kind Samaritan, the screen was badly cracked with what looked like bullet holes all over..... and a car tire mark at the edge of my phone cover. So that’s $300 gone because that’s what it takes to fix the screen and LCD. Love that for me!

There’s 7 hours left until 2021 comes. A lot can happen in 7 hours. Nothing can surprise me anymore.

Happy new year to me!

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kapowsandinterrobangs · 5 years ago

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Where has all

the time gone?

It’s been almost a year since I updated this little space and of course so much has happened. I’m currently listening to Tatsuro Yamashita which has got me in a pensive mood so of course... I must write. Okay alright but on the real tip though, who would have known that Hanna Yasmin would be willingly listening to Japanese 80s city pop? All these years, YouTube had tried to sell me Mariya Takeuchi’s Plastic Love but it had never enticed me until now. Never say never, people.

Anyhoo, here’s a recount of all the highlights and lowlights of 2019-2020.

1) 31 May 2019 - You finished your dreaded Year 3 exams!

The fight against distractions, your lack of focus and generally your inner devils were tough as nails. Concepts were getting harder and your brain was getting mushier but you did it! Passed your Economics modules by the skin of your teeth but even more surprisingly, you somehow topped the world for International Political Economy sis!

You sure don’t know how you did it - you started actually studying two days before, you were cramming up till 9AM (the exam was at 10AM), the exam venue was somewhere unfamiliar in Orchard and you were dragging along a luggage plus two hand carries because you had a plane to catch on the same day at 6ish but your backpack strap decided to give way right before you were to leave home. That stress level that you felt up to minutes before you caught your taxi was DRAINING AS HELL. But you did it! Lesson learned - never do things last minute sis (not like you’ve ever listened though).

2) 3 weeks in June - Indonesia, kami datang! Right after your last undergrad exam, you took a plane to Jakarta to spend a week with your extended Indonesian family for a Pamanukan Lebaran. It had been eons since your family flew over to Indo for Lebaran so this was extra special. You thought you could hack it in your grandma’s kampung but you checked into a hotel a day before Lebaran because the house was stuffy and crowded with your aunts, uncles and little cousins.

A couple of days later, you took a flight out of Bandung to... Bali! It was the start of your two weeks long graduation trip across Indonesia. It was a superb trip and time spent with Zan, Kah Heng and Chai! It was unfortunate that KH had a few bouts of food poisoning - she tapped out at Bandung and flew immediately back to SG after our first day in the laidback city. Our route to Jakarta was nothing short of eventful - it’ll be something you hold dear to my heart hahaha

3) Jul - Jan 2020 - PRecious, PRecious Growth PeRiod! You served your PR internship at PRecious Comms. Met a bunch of cool kids You hope to be friends with for a really long time. Also learned that PR really isn’t my calling. Still, you wouldn’t say it was time wasted - you learned a lot of valuable skills. You’re also proud to announce that you’re one of those ‘Happy Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday/Friday’ greeters in e-mails.

The journey was rough. you were in such an uncomfortable position. Not that the learning curve was steep - even then, your adjustment period was longer than expected and you kept triple-guessing myself. You needed constant assurance from peers and seniors. You were so insecure LOL. However, towards the end, you finally got things pat down. You could write media alerts, interview pitches, creative pitches and even had a hand at a press release for NYFA. You got better at cold-calling. It was massively edited by your seniors and clients LOL but happy to claim that the skeleton was yours.

Big big thanks to Sarah, Jerms, Kally and Torrie who guided you so thoroughly throughout the six months and a special honourable mention to the magnificent Mei who was in the trenches (pantry to be more accurate) together with you.

Those are the key highlights. It’s time to sleep. Will share more soon!

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kapowsandinterrobangs · 6 years ago

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Dear you,

I was just listening to Yuna on Spotify and then ‘Too Close’ from her Chapters album came on. You know how I attach songs to individuals in my life? Did you know that this was your songs back when I had an utterly awkward, heavy handed crush on you?

I’m not going to lie, I still think about you from time to time. Though a little differently.

Fast forward 5 years from the good old days of Bedok South and here we are on different lanes and I couldn’t be happier. We have both grown and changed.

I’ve picked up a third language. You’ve picked up smoking.

I’ve started embracing K-POP. You’ve started embracing your sexuality.

I’ve (or rather my lips have) starred in an advert. You’ve starred in your own HD sex tape.

#andIoops

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kapowsandinterrobangs · 7 years ago

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My feet are

still hurting from yesterday. No surprises there - I had been up on my feet running and scurrying around between for almost twelve hours in a pair of black Rubi ballet flats that I had bought the day before specifically for yesterday’s occasion and so hadn’t been broken into. The skin at the back of my right ankle had peeled, red and raw flesh exposed as a result - something that I could barely think of throughout yesterday because I was so focused on not fucking up my $10/hour job.

Anyway, the gala dinner/ private auction yesterday enabled me to catch a glimpse into the world of Singapore’s 5%. I can’t exactly say 1% because I know not everyone there is filthy rich ala Peter Lim, but they are wealthy enough to bid $19000 on an artwork on a whim. Think Jamie Chua kinda rich - plenty of CEOs, perhaps socialites (there was one named Gwynneth Siu and she looked exactly like Tieponytail lol). Plenty of CEOs, chairmen, real estate developers and socialites - people that I have never interacted with. There was Rothschild attending the dinner who was also the biggest spender at the auction. I was super intrigued lah. Here are my key take-aways/ some anecdotes: 1. Rich people can be snobby but most are nice I manned the reception booth for about an hour with a fellow part-timer named Janice. Many of those who came to the reception table were nice and patient. Someone made a joke about referring to himself exclusively as “Campbell Soup” because that’s what he had on his shirt. Little did he know that fifteen minutes later another guest would walk in wearing the exact same shirt LOL. If there were any who were impatient while I was scanning through the name list and finding their table numbers for them, they don’t make it obvious but instead make light-hearted jokes like “oh no am I not on the list?” Except for this one fella though. Dressed to impress but had terrible manners I was like wtf LOL? Man insisted that he was a friend of the museum’s finder and was sooo impatient. First things first, almost everyone there is a friend of the museum founder. There were a few tables listed as “XXXX’s friend” so you really aren’t that special. Secondly, we misheard his last name which was why we spent a long time scanning the name list unsuccessfully. Even then, the amount of time we took didn’t quite justify the impatient finger-tapping against the table. After a while, he just left the booth and joined his friends inside which I was pretty happy about because I wasn’t a) in the mood and b) not paid enough to deal with his attitude.

But I guess birds of a feather flock together. The museum founder isn’t very friendly either. While I was busy setting placards on the table I accidentally made eye contact with him so I smiled politely. Man just stared back at me. Like I get it... I’m just a part time worker so who am I right hahaha

In any case, everyone else was really polite so I had a great time. Manners really maketh the man. 2. I saw my first IRL Hermes Birkin

Pretty self-explanatory. Honestly, I wouldn’t have noticed if it wasn’t placed on the reception table right in front of my face as the owner rummaged through it for her invitation card. It was an orange-electric blue leather Birkin. Quite a nice colour combination that fit right in with the Pop Art theme of the dinner. It was just like any other bag honestly hahaha 3. Rich Kids There were plenty of senior citizens in position of power but there were also plenty of youngsters who are younger than me. There was literally a JC kid who came for the dinner in his school uniform, thinking he hid his ACS uniform very well under his zipped up Adidas wind-breaker but obviously I knew better. There was one kid in particular who really intrigued me. He was well dressed, well-built and was no older than 18 years old. A quick Google search of his name (yea I copped it from the name list ok) suggested that he was around 16yo studying at SJI international. He came with his dad whom I found out later (also through a Google search) to be a board member/ director of several companies and owns a venture capitalist company. So yeah, swimming in moolah. Anyway, I didn’t really take notice of him until the auction when I had to eye-ball his table.

All I can say was that the boy was trigger happy with his paddle. Confidently putting his paddle up ever so frequently, effectively bidding for at least two lots. Best part is he actually won the bid for the first lot which was a painting/photo of a deflated beach ball.

He bid $2400 for it.

$2400 for a picture of a deflated beach ball. $2400 for THAT. Give me the money la! I can take photo of the same thing AND give you the original deflated beach ball.

His parents who were seated next to him had no qualms with him bidding. For all I know he could be helping them bid. But it really made me realise that rich kids are on a totally different level. This also showed in his cheeky interactions with a white guy seated on his left which I later found out is the CEO of a company which has his dad on on the director list. I guess when you have money, CEOs will have no problem treating you like equals even though you’re about one third their age.

4. Sharda Harrison

I ended up sharing a few moments with Sharda Harrison, a theatre practitioner/ emcee for the night, while I do backstage duty. I asked her how often she takes up emceeing jobs. She says she doesn’t emcee often but she wants to do more of it because the money’s good. I told her I recognised her from TV. She asked me if it was Okto Live. We laughed. Pretty chill, easygoing and down-to-earth person. 10/10 would love to hang out with her under any other capacity. That’s all I have for now. Will add more if I can remember. But yeah, that’s my reflections for The Private Museum’s gala dinner/ auction. It’s 3am so I’m going to sleep now.

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kapowsandinterrobangs · 7 years ago

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So much has

happened since my last post. Some general updates: 1. S

What the actual fuck was I thinking when I said I had a thing for S. I even had the audacity to ask “Am I in love?” Holy crap haha! Since my last post, a few things have transpired. Firstly, I found out that S actually had broken up with his girlfriend of 5 years. No guessing how I felt about that. So then I tried to snake my way into his life - strike up conversations, purposely walked past areas where I knew he would be at (oh God recounting all these really gives me second hand embarrassment) and best of all edited his personal statement for him HAHHAHAHAHAH sigh.... The things I do for the men I thought I love.... Revolting. Soon enough I found out through Instagram that he got back with his ex, I got a little depressed but the bottom-line is that I got over and that is all that matters. BLESS.

P.S. He got into LSE for Masters. That’s right. Your girl helped send a kid to LSE for Masters. Now imagine if your girl actually put in 10000x more effort into her own shit. She would have been at Cambridge by now. 2. FOSTER THE PEOPLE CONCERT I finally went for the concert! It was fucking surreal. Stood for about 1.5 hours in a cosy space along with other FTP fans at Big Box. Imagine our surprise when we found out that we were among the older attendees.... FTP was a band of our generation. Somehow we also found secondary school kids at the concert too. So that was half depressing half amusing. Mark Foster played our old favourites like Hustling, Coming of Age and all time crowd favourite Pumped Up Kicks. I heard that they don’t perform that song anymore due to the current social climate back home in the US (and we all know what that song was about) so imagine my surprise when they performed it! Might upload the videos when I can because I did take quite a number. 3. EXO’s ELYXION 2018

Never in a million years did I think that I would be able to watch EXO perform live this year. I mean, I did anticipate their arrival in Singapore. They have been coming every year to hold a concert here so this year should be no different. Problem at first was that no one could or wanted to go with me. Kuns who promised to go with me bailed and the rest just wasn’t interested or had no money. So I went by myself. Yes, my first time attending a concert solo and it was EXO’s! I got one of the cheaper seats (which were already quite expensive...).Thankfully, on the same day, I had lunch with some of the Council Kids. Afterwards, Nat and Esther volunteered to send me to the Indoor Stadium so that was nice. Well, actually they were there to observe the xiaomeimeis who were also attending the concert. But still, I am grateful! It was a great experience because I got to see my favourite men sing live! The only problem I had was that everything started with a bang and things progressed really fast like a bullet train I had difficulty catching up. EXO started their set with a remix version of The Eve immediately after appearing on stage. Among the screams, the excitement and special effects, I had trouble registering what was going on until after the song ended. Oh, don;t get me started on the overzealous security guard. He marred the experience for me. Shan told me that it’s normal for them to be very strict at KPOP concerts so I have no choice but to suck it. Pretty sure I’ll come back next year. Gotta start saving up for the better seats. 4. IAS Your girl just became the new Director of Conferences and Seminars within 3 months of joining IAS. Ok mainly because no one ran for the position. It all started when they announced that applications for exco was opened.I honestly had no intention of running at first. I mean, I was only in for like 3 months and pretty much missed all but one fortnightly session because of Kristang so I was the least qualified and deserving person to run for ANY position. Until Jeap told me that no one was running for his position so of course the devil whispered in my ear to try for it. Funny thing was that I wanted to submit my application on the last day of the application window but I couldn’t find the link to the application form so I thought hey, this is a sign. I completely forgot about it until Jeap texted me after my Foster the People concert. Apparently no one bothered to run for his position so he asked me if I wanted to because I did joke about it a couple of weeks before. I said yes. Fast forward a few weeks later and here I am. New responsibilities, new friends to work with, new things to worry about. I’ll take it day by day as they come but until after finals I’m going to chill out for a bit.

That’s all for now I suppose. Lots of things have happened since my last post. New experiences, new feelings, new sights, sounds... new everything. Alhamdulillah for everything. I’m just going to take them as they come.

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