karmajamie

[karmajamie]

Keep this up and I will follow you.

And do what one fic author did to Shen.

threatening me with unfollowing as if i gaf 😭

[karmajamie]

Is

Let's tell a story one word at a time

[karmajamie]

Damn I want more from the hardspace universe.

Some things that I have been mistaken for inventing on this webbed site that I definitely did not invent:

The phrase "torment nexus"

The popular scifi story 17776

The entire r/hfy genre (somehow)

The concept of a generation ship

Using rotation as a substitute for gravity in a weightless environment

Using rotation as a substitute for gravity on a generation ship

So many biological technologies, both real and fake, that I've lost count

Computers made out of brains. Please I am begging some of you guys to read one scifi story that I didn't write. Most of the stuff people think I invented is stuff that was old hat in scifi before I was old enough to read.

I don't know why I keep getting credited with random stuff but it's safe to go forward in life assuming I didn't invent dick. If you think I invented something you're almost definitely wrong. Assume I'm referencing something else or that I stole it from somewhere. I love stealing.

[karmajamie]

I think solved is a pretty strong term for what you got going on Derin.

Most infuriating part of writing is having an idea and thinking oh, this is gonna be so good and wanting to IMMEDIATELY share the vision with other people because it's gonna be good but then you start writing it down and - it is gonna be good. Except. It is also gonna take so, so, so long to finish. And in the meantime. You are the only one with The Vision. Alone. Losing your mind. 😭

[karmajamie]

Some of you have never held a mud crab, and it shows.

crabs are so gentle, they can be so kind. their claws? precise little things, so careful in the sand, so careful with food. they do what they must to live and wave their claws to express their joy to the world for giving so much to them, for giving such kindness to these creatures known as crabs. please be gentle to crabs

[karmajamie]

Other end of the spectrum. All 23 of my uncles are still alive.

many of you have uncles that died tragically

[karmajamie]

Possibly you also remember the country line story about the girl who wasn’t allowed to get a stock horse so trained her cow to barrel ride.

I love the rodeo (bc of the danger and violence and hot cowboys ofc), but I have to emphasize just how comically, performatively patriotic it is at all times.

like. jesus. tonight after the announcer got done introducing the bullriders, he leaned into the mic and said, "And now we bring on the most precious cowgirl of all: Old Glory" and someone on a horse rode out carrying a giant american flag, and just...fuck. what the fuck.

the most precious cowgirl of all

and I was sitting there silently losing it, but then the horse reared up and the rider dropped the flag?? and the horse kinda stomped on it, and cowboys were running around trying to pick it up, but the flag was visibly dirt-stained by the time they got it off the ground.

and the cowboys were looking upset but the announcer said don't worry, it was fine, but that we should all ask for forgiveness, as if dropping a flag is an actual sin rather than just a weird american one, and holy shit. I wish I was funny enough to make up stuff like this. god bless america

[karmajamie]

Landing, that’s a metric the wandering albatross really doesn’t get.

albatrosses will wipe the floor with any species of bird you choose to compare them to. they’re the Most, or at least Extremely, by almost every metric

[karmajamie]

That’s ok Derin we have all collectively hallucinated a major movie starring Hugo weaving.

Damn I guess all those drag performers I've in Belgrade over the years were a collective hallucination of me, fellow faggots and drunk straight girls

[karmajamie]

my Game Theory™ for space balls 2 is that mel brooks started it now like 40 years after the original and at 99 years old because he is fully aware of and counting on his own mortality halfway through production because it'll be funny. decades-later cash grab sequels where the original cast is visibly too old to be doing this like they used to in their prime has basically come to define the thing that space balls is parodying, and star wars too encountered problems involving a key actor dying in the middle of production because of it. mel brooks will play a pivotal role in space balls 2 as director, producer, and lead actor, and he will die during filming, and either he has specific contingency plans for that or he trusts the people he's working with to handle it but either way he knows it's the funniest possible way to go and now is the perfect time to make Space Balls 2: The Search for More Money

[karmajamie]

So what do we call it?

We need etsy to get bought by someone who will run it like the navy i need to only see small businesses in eastern europe weaving baskets by hand and anime yaoi keychains with original fanart

[karmajamie]

Am that’s before mentioning the lack of change tables in a mens toilet.

Because we all know men don’t know how to change a baby.

Sharing space is nothing new. Sharing bathrooms is nothing new. The reactionary outrage is so manufactured.

[karmajamie]

What gender would you like to assign to a castle

okay Rook goes crazy for a non-binary name though

[karmajamie]

This is why the queen is the most versatile piece on the chess board.

A king who doesn't really want to and isn't able to run the kingdom properly catches wind of a noble woman who wants to kill him to take over and he realizes she is extremely competent so he decides to propose to her to save everyone the hassle and they have a surprisingly healthy relationship.

[karmajamie]

You want whatever Jeph Jacques puts into his vtubers

vtubers could have been so cool but instead of fun weird gorillaz type shit they just all instantly minmaxed for fucked up sexy baby parasociality. occasionally someone will tell me one is 'actually good' and I click on it and it dares to be an anime milf or a pokemon gijinka performing curated glimpses of its personal life instead of a straight up child in a swimsuit. where's strongbad.

[karmajamie]

Ok feeling a little targeted here.

We are often one guy, and we need to be perfect about everything apparently.

Every time I answer the phone or need to ring someone, I’m found something else that needs to stop so I can write shit down.

Tradies have a right to disconnect aswell.

They should invent a tradie that gets back to you when they say they will

[karmajamie]

When I (M29) was a young boy (M7) my father (M35) took me into the city (X167) to see a marching band (M23, M21, M22, F22, M24, M25, F21, M