kevinsdayy

[kevinsdayy]

Neil hadn't even noticed the silence at first, too distracted by his dizzying thoughts. Now he couldn't help but smile and pull Andrew in.

[kevinsdayy]

404 - person doesn't exist

[kevinsdayy]

things i believe about kevin day

he has very few memories of his mother. similar to how jean's life in marseille is a "fractured mess, dreams that dissipated before he woke enough to recall them with any clarity" (TSC, p.11), the same is true for kevin. he was in the nest longer and arrived younger.

the memories he does have of her are blurry and incomplete, flashes here and there. he does not remember her entire face. he remembers freckles and bright skin, the furrow in her brow when she'd watch exy.

his life before her death is also scattered.

he had a pretty strong irish accent, but it disappeared over his first three years in the nest full time. there are a handful of words where it slips out, but it's a rare thing, and it's slight enough that no one really notices.

his relationship with riko is immensely complicated. he is terrified of him. he hates him. he loves him. he misses him. he still looks over his shoulder to tell riko something. he still looks for riko on the court.

by the time we meet kevin in tfc, kevin is aware of how toxic and possessive his relationship with riko was. he still isn't ready to address and unpack the whole thing.

he and riko would work on their aim by trying to hit a ball at the same spot in the same wall over and over again. somewhere in the depths of evermore, there is a ball-sized indent in the wall.

kevin did the same exercise for hours on the outside wall of his hotel in the time between finals and riko's funeral.

he was more afraid of tetsuji than he was of riko. a different kind of fear.

he is terribly, horribly afraid that his mother knew what tetsuji was involved in and capable of. he is terrified that his mother knew what kind of guardian he was to riko, and what she was condemning kevin to in the event of her death.

he chooses to tell himself that she didn't know. that she never would have sent him to tetsuji if she did. but that doubt haunts him for a long time.

he doesn't remember her well enough to be entirely confident of her love for him. he spent every summer with tetsuji and riko, and he isn't convinced that she didn't know how badly tetsuji treated riko.

nathaniel haunted kevin the same way he haunted jean.

he almost told wymack he was his father several times, especially in the beginning.

kevin day is not a coward. he is terrified. he is trying to rebuild his entire life after it fell apart entirely. he is a victim. he was wrong for involving jean in his escape plan, but he could not have escaped without jean's involvement. he is not wrong for escaping. he is struggling. he is doing his best, and sometimes, it isn't enough. but he's trying.

kevin day cares about the people around him. he cares so much.

[kevinsdayy]

okay i need to see something

[kevinsdayy]

just imagine kevin day, biggest critic of the palmetto state foxes, going pro years later but still having an orange fox paw decal sticker on the back of his car. kevin day who wears his fifth year psu hoodie on airplanes and a psu exy tshirt to bed. kevin day who sometimes stops to stare at the pictures of the foxes he has pinned to his fridge.

[kevinsdayy]

image-only version of animatic i posted earlier [ids in alt]

[kevinsdayy]

the raven king / the king's men

[kevinsdayy]

when neil said ‘why are you helping me?’ andrew really went ‘ask me later’ all mysteriously and turns out the answer was just gay

[kevinsdayy]

just staring at my ceiling thinking about how the beginning is the end is the beginning is the end is the beginning is the end is the beginning is the end is the

[kevinsdayy]

all for the kevin

[kevinsdayy]

everything starts and ends with kevin day. do you get it? everything starts and ends with kevin day. of course everything has to start and end with kevin day it could never be any other way

[kevinsdayy]

>>> the perfect court the foxhole court the raven king the king's men the sunshine court the golden raven the broken cage >>> the queen's game

[kevinsdayy]

Unexpected aaron/jeremy parallel, got addicted to drugs due to neglectful/abusive family and then forced to get clean

[kevinsdayy]

hello i know i have been mia but pls help me bc i keep thinking of this andreil fic where andrew says something long the lines of "i love you and now they all know" and i cannot think of it for the life of me??? did i make this up??? does someone out there know what i am thinking of??

[kevinsdayy]

OK new game. Use this website to see how common your first name is, and then put that number in the tags. 

[kevinsdayy]

"slut era" i say as i rot and decay in my bedroom and watch the years pass me by as i miss out on core experiences other people my age are having while i think about the past

[kevinsdayy]

Neil had been doing one stupid thing after another all year long and this had turned into the best year of his life.