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"Your face is the result of thousands of people loving each other"
How can you call the history of humanity love when we've seen so clearly the violence that permeates throughout our history?
I couldn't tell you my own ancestry past my grandparents.
But, I can tell you my grandma was a survivor, hers was too.
My face isn't the result of thousands of people loving each other because there is no love in colonization, there is no love from my veins where the French and Spanish blood flows.
There's survival in my veins where my Mayan and Aztec blood trickles.
I wish there was room in my body for the culture that I never got to know.
I do not have the face of love nor am I a product of it. I have the face of a survivor because those before me did. I have a face full of hatred because those before me were full of it.
This isn't a poem, this is a rant that comes from hatred for the assumption that knowledge is as easily accessible to me as it may be to others. I don't have the luxury of knowing who my family was a thousand years ago. I don't get to say "Oh yeah! My family came over on the Mayflower". I get to say yeah maybe my family was colonized a while back and maybe my Indigenous ancestors had to suffer for a fucking millennia just so I could live in modern-day America and experience microaggressions every day because people can't fathom that other people don't live the exact same lives and think the exact same way they do.
#rant post#latina#writing#and let me tell you#I'm not acting like I don't have a semblance of privilege because I obviously do#and I'm not acting like we're regressing#because if we're being real we still have plenty more rights than we did even 10 years ago#but when there are still a bunch of obvious problems in daily life as well as obvious chunks of history missing from huge groups of people#obviously I'm gonna be upset#at some point i have to start believing that I'm just a girl who feels far too much for a society who cares far too little
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And if my sin was love,
then yours was judgment,
let us burn for all eternity
knowing
we were one in the same
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Mercy is a beautiful thing
She held my hand
Safe and warm
And promised me
I would be nothing like them
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