kramercafe
kramercafe
Have a seat in the Kramer Cafe
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kramercafe · 2 months ago
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Emotionally Questionable but Artistically Valid Things To Do When You’re a Writer Losing the Plot (Literally or Figuratively)
Write your WIP’s obituary. “She lived a chaotic life, filled with plot holes, unresolved arcs, and one very confusing love triangle. She is survived by a Google Doc, 74 sticky notes, and a Pinterest board titled ‘vibes but make it pain.’” Bonus catharsis if you make it weirdly tender. Double bonus if you actually cry a little.
Make your WIP a dating profile. Age: Timeless. Location: Trapped in your brain since 2018. Looking for: A writer who won’t ghost me mid-draft. Interests: Slow burn tension, morally gray decisions, and long walks through traumatic backstory. Will it match with anyone? No. But you might remember why you fell in love with it in the first place.
Assign your plot holes a Hogwarts house. That one you keep ignoring? Slytherin. The subplot that’s doing too much? Hufflepuff with main character energy. The gaping logic error you swear you’ll fix later? Ravenclaw, but drunk. Somehow this helps. Somehow this feels like control.
Write a resignation letter from your genre. “Dear Fantasy, it’s not you, it’s me. Actually—it is you. The worldbuilding demands are emotionally abusive, and I just want to write messy little humans having conversations that ruin their lives.” You can always go back. Or not. You’re allowed to genre-hop like a chaotic frog with a laptop.
Host a fake podcast episode where you psychoanalyze your protagonist. Today on Therapy, But Make It Fictional, we discuss why Aiden cannot maintain a single healthy relationship, the consequences of childhood abandonment, and how trauma is not a personality trait (even though he tries). Record yourself. Don’t post it. Unless you do. I won’t stop you.
Put your WIP characters in a reality show. Big Brother: Emotional Damage Edition. Who cries first? Who forms a secret alliance? Who self-destructs on Day 2 because someone used their emotional trauma as a joke? (Yes, this is basically writing. Yes, this counts.)
Create an “Am I the Problem?” chart for your WIP. Spoiler: You’re not. The plot arc from hell is. But mapping it out like a true crime board will help. Use yarn. Use vibes. Use Google Slides if you’re a Virgo. Just externalize the chaos.
Write fanfiction… of your own book. That spicy scene you know you won’t put in because it messes with pacing? Write it. That “what if they shared a bed but didn’t touch” trope you secretly crave? Give in. You are your first fan. Be delulu. Be free.
Create a soundtrack for your villain’s redemption arc that will never happen. Include Lana Del Rey. Include Mitski. Include at least one angry violin solo. You don’t have to redeem them, but you can imagine them staring into the rain while “The Sound of Silence” plays.
Doodle your plot like a crime scene. Victim: Narrative Cohesion. Suspects: A surprise third act twist, a talking sword, and that one flashback chapter that broke the timeline. Go full corkboard-and-pushpins energy. You’ll either solve it or at least feel like an unhinged genius. Which is basically the same.
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kramercafe · 4 months ago
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This is Hiroi of money.
Reblog to receive around 2$ in small change in the future.
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kramercafe · 4 months ago
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You know, since it's Pride Month (and also I miss them), I feel like reminding everyone how fucking important Ruby and Sapphire were.
The way they were both unambiguously conceived as queer characters and let the writers make an established character queer retroactively. The fact that as soon as they share the screen, they immediately show how in love they are, without any ambiguity to please the censors, and they do that almost every episode they're in.
How their relationship isn't always 100% perfect, and they do conflict and fall out, but make up in the end because they genuinely love each other. How they were allowed to be iconic parts of the show, not just through being the focus of two of its most famous songs (Stronger Than You and Here Comes A Thought) but also through the book version of The Answer.
The fact they got the first gay kiss...
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...and the first gay wedding in the history of kid's TV.
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The way their reception showed networks that yes, people do enjoy media with queer characters, and so they contributed to many other series with prominent LGBTQ characters getting greenlit.
I honestly don't think it's exaggerating to say they're among the most important queer characters in the history of fiction for all that. And people need to say it more, and demand stuff like them more.
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kramercafe · 4 months ago
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I know the animation industry has been going through a serious rough patch in the past 10 years. I just hope the medium and the artists making it can get the respect they deserve someday soon. So I wanna take a moment to spread a reminder of the powerful emotional scenes we've gotten from animation in the past 10 years.
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kramercafe · 5 months ago
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IILWTW as Text Posts:
Pt 1 / pt 2 / pt 3 / pt 4 / pt 5/ pt 6
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kramercafe · 5 months ago
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kramercafe · 5 months ago
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kramercafe · 5 months ago
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kramercafe · 5 months ago
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Why did Harry use only Expelliarmus on Voldemort but Sectumsempra on Draco? Also, if Expelliarmus was Harry's go to spell why use Sectumsempra when he could use it against Draco's Crucio?
Harry fights Draco really differently than he fights everyone else.
So okay. Normally when he fights, Harry's go-to spells are:
Impedimenta (slow down)
Petrificus Totalus (paralyze)
Stupefy (knock out)
Expelliarmus (disarm)
Which means his strategy is get away from/incapacitate his opponent as quickly as possible and that's IT. Harry is not a flashy or creative fighter the way Dumbledore, Voldemort, and heck even side characters like Percy are. Which makes perfect sense. Fighting has never been a game for Harry. It's never been abstract. He'll do all these badass things but when he talks about fighting (like we see during the DA segments) he's not thinking about it like it's something interesting or cool. He's picturing going up against a more powerful opponent, probably while injured and scared. And what's the best thing to have in that situation? Four useful, all-purpose spells that you've practiced enough times that you don't have to think about them anymore.
Zachariah Smith gives Harry a hard time for relying on a spell as "basic" as expelliarmus, which tells us that in-universe, Harry's stripped-down dueling style might be considered kind of plain or boring. But Harry's a very effective duelist, probably because he is so practical. He doesn't care about showing off, looking powerful, or intimidating his opponents.
... except when he's fighting specifically Draco.
When he's fighting DRACO MALFOY, Harry brings out the fun spells:
Rictusempra (tickling)
Furnunculus (boils)
Leg-Locker jinx
Levicorpus (levitate by ankle)
Toenail-growing hex
And also Sectumsempra, which he THINKS is going to be another embarrassing/fun spell, because levicorpus and the toenail-growing hex also came out of the Half-Blood Prince's textbook, and Harry thinks this third spell is going to be another one like that.
So my conclusion is that Harry just kind of... uniquely enjoys fighting with Draco. He's not trying to end the encounter as fast as possible, there probably is some element where he wants to show off, hit Draco with something new or something clever. Harry and Draco have a dynamic where it's *fun* to one-up/get the upper hand over each other, and duels are perfect for that.
To me this is a very natural extension of Harry's "lets plot hypothetical ways to get Malfoy expelled" (which he does with Ron, for fun) and "lets try to figure out what Suspicious Thing Malfoy is up to now" (one of Harry's very favorite pastimes.) So long story short - when Harry fights Draco, he fights like a teenager. When he fights anyone else, he fights like an auror.
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kramercafe · 5 months ago
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kramercafe · 5 months ago
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How death in Yugioh works
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kramercafe · 6 months ago
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Iroh: so Toph, what are your goals in life?
Toph: I’ve been banned from every major city’s transportation system except Omashu
Toph: I don’t know what their limit is but I will fucking find it 
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kramercafe · 6 months ago
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things to update after a legal name change!
Social security card
Driver’s license
Passport
Birth certificate
Employer HR
Bank account
Credit card company
Car insurance
Health insurance
Utilities
Cell phone account
Voter registration
Your school
Professional organizations (for nursing, bar, teaching, etc.)
Doctor’s office & other health specialists
TV & internet
Paypal
*Please add to this list if you can think of anything else!!!
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kramercafe · 6 months ago
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Sharing is Caring
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kramercafe · 6 months ago
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unironically if food wars didn't have all the "adult stuff" in it the show would be great for a tween/teen audience.
soma yukihira is unironically the strongest protagonist i've seen in anime and he looks like this half the time.
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but i mean it though. i've only made it to half of season 3 so far but his mentality throughout the show is really strong and is genuinely great role model. he never takes his anger out on people; he puts all of it into his performance and uses that against his opponents. not only does this improve his skills but also he continues to have respect for each of his opponents despite them putting him through hell almost every episode. no matter how much his peers shit talk him he doesn't ever stop reaching for his goals. he just uses their shit talk as a way to get there faster.
on top of that he also takes losses really well which i feel like is something that should be taught more in media as a whole? he's an example of the fact that it's okay to lose, and that it's not even really a loss so long as you learn something from it and use it as a means to reflect on yourself. it's a really simple message on the surface but it's really important and something that a lot of people tend to forget since i could count about 20 people who would benefit from understanding a lesson like that.
also it makes cooking cool.
do you know how hard it is to make cooking look cool.
i was planning on living off microwavable food for the rest of my life and i totally would've done it if i didn't start watching food wars.
please revive the food wars fandom that show is genuinely amazing please guys.
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kramercafe · 6 months ago
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This is a really cool idea! I have my own idea for a Chinese wizarding school myself, but I really like what all you cane up with here! I’d love to learn more about it and any other wizarding school ideas you have! Great work! 👍👍👍😁😁😁
Fenghuang Institute of Magic
The Fenghuang Institute of Magic is one of the oldest Wizarding schools in the world, and one of the ' Big 11 ' Wizarding schools. It is located in the Yellow Mountains region in the Anhui province, and it is founded in the Shang Dynasty ie 16th century BC
China has had various Wizarding schools over the centuries, yet Fenghuang becomes most famous for ' feng shui ' magic and mastering elemental magic. It also boasts one of the most rigorously disciplined educational regimes in the Wizarding world
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Fenghuang Houses and House Sorting
There are 4 houses according to the classical 4 elements - Sea Serpent ( Water ), Fire Tiger ( Fire ), Mountain Monkey ( Earth), and Cloud Crane ( Air )
In sorting ceremonies, students get to stand in front of a sorting podium, recite a sorting incantation, and let the crystal ball enchant their robes with any house color ( Fire Tiger - red, sea Serpent - blue, Mountain Monkey - Green, and cloud crane - air )
Fenghuang School Uniforms
Currently, In regular schooling lessons, students mainly wear qiongsham uniforms of mainly deep red, with their house badges worn on their right chests
In martial arts training sessions, students wear Kung fu pant suits akin to their house colors.
Fenghuang Education system
Fenghuang boasts one of the most rigorously disciplined education systems. Students are educated in a wide variety of subjects, including Chinese, English ( later on ), Maths, Potions, etc. Then since 9th grade, students get to pick 3 to 5 electives while maintaining Chinese, English and Maths as compulsory.
High school students are also training to intake the Wizarding Gaokao, one of the toughest National Wizarding exams on the planet. Aside from written tests, Wizarding Gaokao also includes practical magical exams in magical combat, potions, etc
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Fenghuang combat training
Students get to be under rigorous training in magical Kung fu since 1st year. Chinese magic doesn't always entail wands, yet it's often with hands and/or magical weapons. In school days, Students get up at 6.30am to get into morning jogs and warm up exercises before breakfast. And intensive Kung fu training is conducted between 3 to 6pm until dinner time.
Students get adequate study and rest times after dinner between 7pm to 10pm.
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Fenghuang Campus
The Fenghuang Campus is built like a Taoist temple, in mainly red ceilings. It also has several pagoda gardens with lotuses.
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Fenghuang diet
With such a rigorously disciplined school grounded mainly on Taoist teaching principles, students regularly get a mainly vegetarian diet as a way to boost their nutrients. On special occasions like the Chinese New Year, students consume meat dishes as well as the plethora of vegetarian dishes.
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Fenghuang student demographic
Although Fenghuang mainly intakes Chinese students, international students can apply to study there. Fenghuang mainly consists of Chinese, Mongolian, Korean, Siberian and Southeast Asian students.
Some notable alumni and staff :
( the following may have some crossovers )
. Cho Chang's parents are Sea Serpent house alumni of Fenghuang
. Sun WuKong was one of it's most famous alumni, and he is of the Mountain Monkey House. Later on, after his 35 year pilgrimage to India ( read Journey to the West ), he becomes a regular guest teacher there in combat training.
. Zhu Bajie, one of the 4 travelers of the Journey to the West, becomes a magic culinary professor there after the Pilgrimage.
. Sha Zeng was a Sea Serpent alumni and after the 35 year pilgrimage to India, he becomes a teacher in water bending magic and later on a Head of the Sea Serpent house.
. Ying Li and her elder sister Ying Na are amongst the Mountain Monkey alumni of Fenghuang
. Various demons and mortal realm mages and fae in China are amongst the alumni of Fenghuang
Additional information
Fenghuang often has strong associations with Koldovstoretz as both schools boast amongst the most rigorously disciplined education systems in the Wizarding world. Fenghuang also has a long time rivalry with Mahoutokoro
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kramercafe · 6 months ago
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